https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 20 May 2026 00:27:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2825015 Sun, 27 May 2018 13:29:18 +0000 SweetiePie 2825015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JJ2626: it’s def not normal. I’ve been told that more than 30 mins is too long because they are using more energy to eat than they are consuming. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2825014 Sun, 27 May 2018 13:25:39 +0000 SweetiePie 2825014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@starchild: THIS IS US EXACTLY. I’m sitting here almost in tears because I am so. Effing. Frustrated. He should be starving but I still cannot get more than 3oz in him right now. We have some randomly magical feeds (somehow this AM he did 5oz. That’s the best 7am feed in weeks! But still less than he should be doing for his weight) but 9/10 feeds are just stressful. 2-3oz relatively easy (still lots of popping on and off, but once he gets going he’ll chug and stop at 2-3oz like clockwork. Then he takes one suck. Stops. One suck. Stops. Turns away. Turns away. Gags. Opens his mouth. Then gags/pushes it out.)</p> <p>I also just found this. It’s exaclty what we’re dealing with (down to the raspy voice he had at 7 weeks) and I’m now convinced it’s all related to his reflux. Even though his pain seems to be under control, he’s clearly still uncomfortable or afraid of the pain. </p> <p><a href="https://yourkidstable.com/why-wont-my-baby-eat-managing-silent/" rel="nofollow">https://yourkidstable.com/why-wont-my-baby-eat-managing-silent/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824987 Sat, 26 May 2018 19:35:25 +0000 JJ2626 2824987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So now I’m wondering how long should it take for a 3-4 month old to eat 4 ounces? DD has always been so slow that I’m wondering if maybe I’m accepting 30+mins as normal when it’s really not! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824985 Sat, 26 May 2018 19:01:36 +0000 starchild 2824985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeppppp, right there, too. LO was 5lbs 8oz at birth (IUGR born at 37+4), still in the 3rd-4th percentile at 12lbs 8oz (5.5 months). She's on omeprazole 3x day for her reflux. The speech path who did her barium swallow study said that it's really common for reflux babies to associate eating with pain even after it's controlled and become reluctant. We've had times where it takes 45 mins to eat 4 oz or weeks at a time where she's barely averaging 20oz/day. And then with no changes, just like that, she's eating 24-26 oz. Through it all, her overnight feeds were reliable, though. During the day she'll start and stop over and over and look around and push it out of her mouth. Even now it takes 20 minutes for 4 oz. We've tried 5oz and she can do it but it throws her off and then she has lots of 1-2oz bottles and weird stretches and it's stressful to keep track of so we're sitting around 4oz every 3 hours with longer stretches overnight. If everything else is good and he's gaining, even slowly, I'd probably ride it out. If ties have been eliminated -- see a pediatric dentist/preferred provider. Pediatricians are admittedly not trained well in that. If it doesn't improve check into speech path/feeding therapy. Good luck! I never thought something so fundamental and basic would be so incredibly hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824941 Fri, 25 May 2018 21:41:41 +0000 sckim 2824941@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>my daughters are similar- EBF but very low oz intake. </p> <p>My DD1 was born at the 60% and quickly dropped to the 15% by month 2.5 (she has stayed at the 15% for weight from 2 months to 2 years now). She was a quick/efficient breastfeeder (10min max). Weighted feeds showed that she would beat anywhere between 1.5-4oz. I got so stressed out with her weight curve dropping, that I exclusively pumped to see how much she would take in and it was never more than 18-21oz/day. She would sometimes take a night feed of 1.5oz and then go on to sleep for 7hours. We started formula at 8-9months and she never took more than 18oz of formula and by 10months, she would only take in 10oz formula/day. </p> <p>Looking back- i wish i didnt stress out so much. Yes, it was stressful that she dropped her growth curve, btu she has stayed on that same curve for 2 years. </p> <p>My DD2 is currently 3 months and seems similar. She was born in the 50% and never gained the recommended amount of weight per kellymom and is now in the 15% for weight. I can feed her by breast at 1am and then she will only take in 1.5-2oz for her 7am Bottle and refuse to eat for at least another 3-4 hrs after that. I have done several weighted feeds and she only takes in 2-3.5oz. She never eats more than 6x/day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824908 Fri, 25 May 2018 16:37:29 +0000 looch 2824908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: She knows her stuff. She can be tough to get an appointment with because she mostly teaches, but if there is any feeding therapist worth seeing, it's her. A lot of SLPs that do feeding therapy in the area were trained by her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824863 Fri, 25 May 2018 13:38:54 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2824863@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tried and tried and tried to get my daughter to drink more and it just never worked. But she's growing so I've stopped counting so much. It was around 2 months that I just gave in. I think we were managing around 20 oz with constantly sort of obsessing about it though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824861 Fri, 25 May 2018 13:34:06 +0000 SweetiePie 2824861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh gosh another thing I didn’t fully touch on - he did have mucousy poops on gentlease with dark green streaks. When I told Ped that PLUS the slow/small feeds she said maybe it was an intolerance (and he’s uncomfortable and hence why he doesn’t want to eat more) and told me to try Alimentum. So he’s been on that for a week as well. I know it can take some time for all of the digestive stuff to work it’s way out, so maybe the Alimentum will solve it all. Who the F knows. 😂 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824858 Fri, 25 May 2018 13:31:20 +0000 SweetiePie 2824858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JJ2626: I really like the idea of limiting feeds too. But then he doesn’t seem to care on way or another. 😂 Maybe he needs more time to figure it out - we’ve only been doing it 5 days or so. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824856 Fri, 25 May 2018 13:30:09 +0000 SweetiePie 2824856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsbubbletea: Maybe the dream feed isn’t a bad idea. Like 10pm or 11. That’s what we did up until about 8 weeks and then we decided to just let him go as long as he wants. Again, me with sleep and schedule, was afraid to continue the dream feed for too long because I didn’t want to have to wean him off of it and then he would start waking at 11 again our of habit. Right now knowing he’ll reliably sleep till 1,2,3,4am after we put him down is really liberating. I feel like I can do my own thing until I go to bed and we can get a babysitter again for date nights.<br /> But maybe if he has a particularly bad day I can do an 11pm dreamfeed to get another 4/5oz in him. And then maybe he’ll just sleep till 6/7am and eat better. Mornings are HIS WORST when they should be the best. </p> <p>Thanks again to you and everyone else helping me think through this - even to just say don’t sweat it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824855 Fri, 25 May 2018 13:17:44 +0000 JJ2626 2824855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One more thing. I really like the idea of limiting feeds to 30 mins. Maybe it’s true that he is getting used to being able to take forever. Also if you do that and he’s still happy and gaining and sleeping well, it would sort of prove this is just how he wants to eat and he’s okay. I’m going to try this too I think! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824854 Fri, 25 May 2018 13:03:14 +0000 JJ2626 2824854@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: Ok, got it. I know it's super frustrating! It does sound like we are in similar boats in some respects. DD has always been a slow eater too. When I was nursing they told me it was normal that it took an hour and she'd eventually get faster, when we switched to bottles she got a bit faster but I'd say 30 minutes to finish 4.5 oz is normal for her, except in the middle of night. I am dreading when I have to offer her more than 4.5 oz because I'm sure it will take an hour. But same as your baby--she quickly guzzles the 4.5 oz in the middle of the night and passes out! She's also on a similar sleep schedule with usually one wakeup between 1 and 3, though her bedtime is all over the place (which I asked for your help with!) The easy MOTN feed makes me think nothing is seriously wrong with her but it is very perplexing. </p> <p>I literally just fed her and she drank almost 3 oz quickly (15 mins?) and then just refused to have more. I kept offering and she freaked out (arching back, crying) but then was happy to play. I feel like it might be her reflux which, although better, is still there. I think like another poster said sometimes she just feels full/refluxy and doesn't want more. That said, she doesn't do this every bottle (1-2 out of usually 6 per day) so if yours is doing it every time except MOTN, I get that it is more annoying/worrisome. But I do wonder with your baby and mine maybe they just don't need/want to eat the way it's recommended to. If they are happy (she is the smiliest baby ever) and gaining weight on their curve then maybe all is okay? Honestly, I don't know and am sort of just trying to make myself feel better, and as you said, more zen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824853 Fri, 25 May 2018 13:01:23 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2824853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: girl if it’s not one thing it’s another with these kids! Maybe try the 3 hour schedule again, and maybe try a dream feed at night? Not for the sleep (obviously) but for the ounces. And the whole inner zen thing... I feel you. I am such a wannabe schedule mom, I know kids thrive on it, I feel like in many ways I would thrive on it... but I just can’t make it happen for me! So instead I obsessively research schedules and sleep training and never follow through! But I chimed in on the feeding thing because I am a peds nurse and I see little babies come in for failure to thrive. Which your LO sounds totally not like, but I was comparing the medical recommendations and schedules that the dietitians will recommend and just other little things that sounded familiar in your post. Good luck and enjoy thst sleep stretch! I am jealous with my every 3h 7m old :meh: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824851 Fri, 25 May 2018 12:55:57 +0000 SweetiePie 2824851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsbubbletea: @mrsbubbletea: haha thanks for adding. Truly, this is the first time in a long time that I’m at a loss on what to do so I’ll keep listening. Maybe you and @petitenoisette: are right and I can do more drowsy feeds. I guess I could also stir him a little when I put him down to sleep after a feed so he’s not totally asleep. </p> <p>And another good point about the gagging. That’s one of my fears, that I’ll create an even bigger problem like an aversion. But the gagging seems to be not so much that he’s upset or doesn’t want it - sometimes he just gags when the bottle first hits his mouth/tongue and then he’ll begin feeding. But then it continues to happen a lot as we continue to try and coax some more ounces into him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824850 Fri, 25 May 2018 12:52:29 +0000 SweetiePie 2824850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsbubbletea: You know that’s a really great point - I am totally crazy about schedule and sleep (it’s a total anxiety trigger for me) and maybe I need to let it go a little in this instance. He actually does great on a schedule and everything is gelling - except the food! And I’ve had him on a 4hr schedule for a few weeks now so I’ve been hesitant to go backwards. Believe me, I HAVE fed at the 2.5/3 hr Mark if he had a really terrible feed. But I still have in my head that 4 hours is the goal and feel sort of like I’m failing if it’s less. Maybe I should try a 3 hour schedule again just to see. He was on one and we had the same issue - but if he’s getting 2-3oz every 3 hours instead of every 4 that’s still more ounces.<br /> Also, night time is great! Which is another reason why it’s so perplexing. He’s only waking once at night. He eats around 6:30/7 and is down 7:30/8 in his crib. He only wakes once somewhere between 1-4am (and once this week all the way to 5am 😱) and then he’s back down till at least 6, often 7am. And then he’s not even hungry! So it’s super crazy but I guess if he’s sleeping at night and not starving and wanting to eat all night, maybe it’s all fine?</p> <p>It’s just super frustrating to feel like he needs to/should eat but he won’t, and to expend so much energy on it. I’m trying to find my inner zen, but MAN it’s hard! He’s so diff than my first who was pretty textbook with everything, including eating. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824847 Fri, 25 May 2018 12:47:40 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2824847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry I have a lot of thoughts I keep adding! Be careful pushing the bottle when he seems done because if his tendency is to get gaggy,, that could make everything worse if he starts to fight it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824846 Fri, 25 May 2018 12:46:12 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2824846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Other thing I would think that if you make sure at least half the time you are separating sleep/milk, he’s still learning the skills that later you can make the rule for every nap and every meal, but most important thing right now is for him to be growing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824845 Fri, 25 May 2018 12:44:38 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2824845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: I think this sounds frustrating, especially for you because I know you are such a big proponent of schedules and separating sleep/eating! I would not wait more than 4 hours, that sounds like a recipe for disaster with the smaller bottles and small appetite. I mean maybe try it st night but not as a rule. I would play with the bottle type and nipple type like you/pp said. And finally I would just follow his cues and do small frequent feedings. If he has reflux, that’s a great way to manage it, so maybe he just is self regulating to prevent his tummy from getting too full. As he grows it will probably change! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824844 Fri, 25 May 2018 12:32:38 +0000 SweetiePie 2824844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: googled her, I was just in Norwalk for the first time last weekend! It’s a tiny bit far for us but if you adore her it could be worth it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824840 Fri, 25 May 2018 12:14:41 +0000 looch 2824840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: My son had a tongue tie, not the typical one that they check for (thrust out) but a lateral issue. It was finally correctly diagnosed by a feeding therapist. If you're in the tri-state area, we saw Lori Overland. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824838 Fri, 25 May 2018 12:12:32 +0000 SweetiePie 2824838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@petitenoisette: I’m really scared of feeding to sleep every single time because I don’t want to create that dependency. I guess if a doc told me it was necessary I would, or if I notice that he’s suffering. I mean I’m not going to harm him for sake of an EASy schedule. Haha. But I also am hesitant to do that and then it’s the only way he’ll sleep because he goes down like a dream right now (drowsy but awake with no rocking). </p> <p>@Mama Bird: @JJ2626: my concern is because it’s not just since he turned 3months and is more aware and alert. He’s been doing it since he was about 6/7 weeks. Well he’s always been slow except for the early days when all he drank was like an ounce. But stopping at 2oz has been for 1.5-2 months now.<br /> The ONLY reason he’s drank more than that at any feed is because we basically force feed him for an hour and it’s just not sustainable - and it’s also probably not a healthy eating habit either. So now that we’ve stopped that by limiting to 30 mins, he’s eating so little. Still doesn’t seem super hungry and even if he is he stops around 2-3oz. </p> <p>I feel like this is so hard to explain because a lot of it is observation. </p> <p>I’ll be getting new bottles today from amazon so I’ll report on if that makes any difference. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824823 Fri, 25 May 2018 11:14:10 +0000 periwinklebee 2824823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If he's gaining and pooping/peeing well, I wouldn't be too worried. The recommendations are just average, and my understanding is that there is a wide range - with breastmilk I've seen 20-30 oz/day, just depending on the baby, and I think formula may be even wider since there is a wide range in how it is metabolized. </p> <p>My LO is the opposite, in that he weighs a little less than your LO despite a due date that I think was a couple of months earlier, and he takes in *a lot*. We estimate he gets around 28 oz of breastmilk a day and often a formula top off on top of that. He's actually moved up the growth curve some in the past couple of months and apparently just has a fast metabolism at this point. So just to say, there's a pretty big range of normal. </p> <p>As for being slow and gagging, I would probably just experiment with the bottle, if you've already ruled out other stuff like tongue tie. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824822 Fri, 25 May 2018 11:12:03 +0000 Mama Bird 2824822@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: It's worth checking out if there's something getting in the way of him eating, but it does kind of sound like he's just not hungry! Or maybe he's teething and eating kind of hurts right now, my kids both started teething symptoms around 3 months and had their first teeth by 4.5.</p> <p>FWIW I never wanted to eat as a baby, toddler or preteen. Drove my parents up the wall. I think the pedi thought I was borderline failure to thrive, and I still have memories of my gran following me around the house with a plate of pancakes when I got older. I didn't get a nice hearty appetite till my late teens. It all worked out fine, I still have a weird metabolism but it doesn't really mess with my health. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824817 Fri, 25 May 2018 10:56:39 +0000 petitenoisette 2824817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If he eats well/faster when drowsy then I’d just feed him then. What’s the point of doing EASy if it’s not, right? </p> <p>Have you tried doing small feedings but spaced closer together?</p> <p>Just some ideas, I have no personal experience so idk if it will help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824814 Fri, 25 May 2018 10:46:19 +0000 JJ2626 2824814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I could have written this exact post! Except that I’m only trying to get DD to have 4.5 oz since she’s still pretty small. But seriously-same situation. She eats well at night and in the morning but during the day will sometimes want to stop at 2.5oz. and want nothing to do with the bottle! She also has reflux though was never medicated and it’s not too bad. She will sometimes take only 19 or 20 oz in a day but is super happy and seems to be growing well. I think part of it for her is she is getting distracted more easily now so if she’s had enough to satiate her, she’d rather play than eat. I’ve stopped forcing it and if she is done I let her play. Occasionally I can get her to eat more after a break-have you tried that? We hold her up for 20-30 mins after she eats for the reflux, so it is super annoying that almost all her awake time is spent eating but I’ve just accepted it. </p> <p>Our ped said intake can vary by as much as 30% in any given day so he’s not worried. She hasn’t been weighed in a month and we aren’t due until 4mos, though, so I may take her to get weighed just to put my mind at ease. The suggestion to go to a feeding specialist sounds a little extreme to me if your baby is happy and gaining well and it’s only been a few days of eating less. For us, I’m hoping it’s just a phase and she grows out of it. I am not all that worried since my ped isn’t! Can you give it a bit more time and see how things go? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824807 Fri, 25 May 2018 10:06:28 +0000 SweetiePie 2824807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: Thank you for this perspective, truly it does help me to realize that he might just be eating what he needs even if that defies logic or best practices. I guess all babies arent one size fits all. Or else there would be a manual and life would be a lot easier :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824806 Fri, 25 May 2018 10:03:29 +0000 jhd 2824806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: I think I would start with a speech language pathologist who deals with babies &amp; feeding issues. But that’s just what I know. Both of my boys had help from an SLP in NICU. T went to see an SLP weekly as an infant until he got better at feeding. We are still waiting to get G in to see someone. Anyway the SLP would be able to evaluate for tongue tie, muscle issues, etc better than a pediatrician, I think. You would probably need a referral from your pediatrician’s office. I guess it’s confusing since he’s happy and gaining weight, but at the same time you can’t be spending so much time feeding or you will never get to enjoy any other time with your baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824805 Fri, 25 May 2018 10:03:05 +0000 SweetiePie 2824805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@muffinsmuffins: Extremely helpful, thank you! These are the kinds of things I’m trying to learn about that I have no idea about myself and it’s hard to just Google “slow eater doesn’t drink many ounces.” </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824804 Fri, 25 May 2018 10:01:19 +0000 SweetiePie 2824804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: We’ve tried three or four different bottles and nipples. I actually ordered some more a couple of days ago that should arrive today. Because I really want to exhaust all possibilities before I totally freak out and start insisting on specialists. We’ve been trying out a level two nipple on Dr. Brown since about six weeks (off and on). They were definitely too fast for him for a while, now it’s definitely better like he’s not dribbling everywhere. But it doesn’t seem to make a difference in his overall feeding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-month-old-slow-eater-im-losing-my-mind#post-2824803 Fri, 25 May 2018 09:57:28 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2824803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, I will caveat this with the fact that this is just my personal experience and it's probably worth checking with your doc just in case, but my daughter was exactly like this as an infant and pretty much until she was a toddler. She was a premie as well (though 4 lb 6 oz, at 36 weeks), and had reflux and spit up nonstop until she was almost a year old, so I was obsessed with her eating, and of course, she would do 2-4 oz max per feed, and cap out at 16ish oz per day total. I drove myself completely insane over this, but the advice I got and that I want to pass on, once you rule out any medical issues, is that babies and kids will eat as much as they need, they can't go hungry (assuming medical issues are not interfering). If he's gaining weight, is a normal weight, happy, sleeping well, all the things, then he's probably fine. It seems weird and mind boggling, but it's definitely not out of the question. My daughter was way below the growth curve until about 2 years old, but she always gained weight regularly, was always happy, and we even weaned off reflux meds by 5 months, and she's about to turn 5, is happy, healthy, strong, normal size, and eats like a vacuum. Definitely worth ruling out medical issues, but I think your logic/gut is right on this one. Good luck! </p>