https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 27 Jun 2026 18:13:16 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836807 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 10:14:21 +0000 Bluemasonjar 2836807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I might have to try the timer thing with DS! No speech delay but he turns 3 today and we have this issue with transitions too. </p> <p>I do a lot of repeating the order of things and trying to have something else lined up when I know we need to end an activity he is enjoying. Even if it is just being able to watch 1 short video on my phone if he cooperates and gets ready for bed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836559 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 20:09:04 +0000 BadgerMom 2836559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: Ha! No worries. I bought my gluten free husband a stoffers lasagna for dinner during my last pregnancy :silly: I can’t make any guarantees, but I hope it helps a little. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836558 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 19:59:14 +0000 crazydoglady 2836558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BadgerMom: Oh my goodness...I feel such a dunce. Can I blame it on being 34 weeks pregnant? 😂 Yes, that makes perfect sense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836542 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 17:19:10 +0000 BadgerMom 2836542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: I thought that at first too, which is why I didn’t reply to this thread right away, but then I thought really what is an extra minute in the grand scheme. So you finish watering and you tell him ok, you can still water (ie play with the watering can) until the timer goes off, and set it for a minute. Or you get done putting the cookies on the sheet and say, great! Now when the timer goes off we have to put them in the oven! and set it for a minute. Or you continue to pass the vacuum needlessly for a minute until the timer goes off. If he’s more willing to transition at that point, you’ll still probably end up ahead of the game :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836537 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 16:49:33 +0000 crazydoglady 2836537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSRS: Maybe we will need to watch that episode! Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836536 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 16:48:50 +0000 crazydoglady 2836536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: @BadgerMom: I love the idea of the timer and think it could work for some activities, but when we are baking/vacumming/watering etc, I don't know how long those are going to take. I do think I can say "when we put these in the oven, it's time to clean up!" and repeat it a few times.<br /> @lioneyes: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836535 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 16:45:30 +0000 BadgerMom 2836535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The timer has been a godsend for us. He responds infinitely better to the sound of the timer going off than he does to me saying something is over. I say, “it’s almost time for us to leave/be done/etc. I’m going to set the timer, and when it goes off we’re going to leave.” I usually set it from a minute to five minutes depending on the activity. The length of time really doesn’t seem to matter much. Now he’s 4 and will request the timer if I forget. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836533 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 16:13:48 +0000 Mrsbells 2836533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: does it help if you have a count down so he knows it will be over soon? My almost two year old loves the "clean up" song and knows the sign for all done so i start singing that and saying all done with the sign and he knows we are packing up and going to do something else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836496 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 13:19:47 +0000 MrsSRS 2836496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We used the Daniel Tiger song "it's almost time to stop so choose one more thing to do🎶" Then like let's flip the light switch on the oven one more time. Or let's vacuum this last square foot. "That was fun but now it's done🎶" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836439 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 10:02:13 +0000 lioneyes 2836439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DS is also speech delayed and around when he turned 3, we started using the countdown app on the iPhone for waiting, but also transitions. It helped a lot and now when the countdown starts he runs off to whatever we are supposed to do next. A Visual schedule also helped to map out our day and now at almost 4 we rarely need it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836438 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 09:59:30 +0000 crazydoglady 2836438@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@muffinsmuffins: @psw27: @Foodnerd81: @Kaohinani: @hellocupcake: Thank you so much for the tips and comiseration! I know so much of it comes from him not being able to articulate his feelings and, well, being 3. :silly:<br /> @psw27: I really appreciate this list and will refer back to it! Thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836428 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 09:40:02 +0000 psw27 2836428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son has a sensory processing disorder and gets very, very frustrated by transitions. Some tips that we have learned from both occupational therapy and early intervention:</p> <p>1. The iphone timer - he has to set it. We usually ask him how many minutes he wants left. He usually picks a reasonable number but its never more than 5 minutes. He doesn't always stay calm when it goes off but hearing the timer (we leave it chiming until he is moving) is helpful. </p> <p>2. Transition objects - for example, if he is playing legos and it is time for dinner - we let him bring an object like his lego car to dinner with him. It helps him feel like it's not completely over. </p> <p>3. Repeating their meltdown back to them - this one sounds ridiculous but if he is screaming about not wanting to end his lego playtime we get down to his level and say "you're mad! You are SO SO mad about Lego time being over! You're mad! You feel mad at mommy!" Sometimes validating their feelings (even if you have to guess what it is that they are mad about) helps them calm down. </p> <p>4. Calm down objects - for my son it is a heavy weighted elephant or a blanket that we wrap him in a burrito. If he is having a total nuclear meltdown we ask him if he needs his calm down blanket, we wrap him tightly and take really deep breaths in front of him which encourages him to take really deep breaths (really. it does.) </p> <p>5. Visual schedule - we have a magnetic board that we put his schedule on. (wake up, potty, get dressed, breakfast, etc.) That can help him with a visual chart of what is coming next. He doesn't need this as much now because he is more verbal as he nears age 4 but it was helpful when he was closer to 2. </p> <p>All in all, tantrums at age 3 are completely normal and horrible and 3 has been the roughest year yet but these tips have helped us! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836410 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 09:05:26 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2836410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say normal. We go through phases of this with 3.5 year old DS who has a moderate-severe motor speech disorder. The only thing I think helps is repetition of the order we are going to do things and acknowledging he is upset. For example, ‘after breakfast we are going to get ready and go to the park and then we need to come home for quiet time’ and just say this over and over during the whole morning at random times. Sometimes works, sometimes not. If he gets super worked up, we take him to his room to calm down with a book or lay down and scream and he can come out when he’s ready to go on to the next thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836383 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 06:54:39 +0000 Foodnerd81 2836383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter was the same - unfortunately still can be and she’s about to turn 5 (which is one of the major reasons we are waiting a hear for kindergarten). I tried doing a timer on my phone and it eventually turns into her staring at my phone watching the countdown and then having her enormous meltdown when it went off. Not helpful. I have other warnings- we can do one more thing/ 4 more pushes/ two more slides, but nope. I carried her screaming out of the playground with a baby in the baby carrier on my chest more times than I could count. There must be a better way but I can confirm that it’s not that unusual. My daughter was pretty advanced, speech wise, and it still happened. But I imagine the frustration of not being able to articulate what you are upset about would make it even worse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836371 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 05:15:11 +0000 Kaohinani 2836371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is also speech delayed. He is almost 3.5 years old and has a high palate with a slight lateral lisp, a "speed stutter," and while he comprehends EVERYTHING spoken to him, his articulation is over a year and a half behind. I was a SPED teacher for 8 years (before moving into adult education and then making another career move ... I digress) and, during that time, I learned much of acting out is due to frustration in the inability to effectively communicate needs or wants. My son acts very similar to yours. He throws mini-tantrums or may "screech" (which is absolutely NOT acceptable, especially in public) when we transition from playtime to mealtime or from outside to inside OR even if he isn't allowed to play with the dogs anymore because he is too rough. Honestly, the issue is a combination of being a toddler and being unable to effectively communicate one's needs and displeasure. One way I have been working to limit outbursts is to have activities or fun items present after transitions that I know may be difficult for my son. I am also working with G to better convey his needs. When he begins to "freak out," I get down on his level, look in his eyes and calm him to the extent he will allow. I proceed to tell him to, "Use your words." Then I have him repeat after me: " I .... Need (or want) .... " and I allow him to fill in the blank with whatever word (or sign from the little sign language he knows). He's is immediately gratified for his efforts and we move on to something that will keep him happy ... And quiet. 😉<br /> I hope my response is of some help to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836365 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 01:03:51 +0000 hellocupcake 2836365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not sure if it’s helpful but DS is 3, will be 4 in October and...same. He’s not speech delayed that I know of, he communicates very well but transitions are tough. He melts down for the most random things. The only thing that has helped is counting down from 5. I ask him to stop crying so we can talk and I’ll count down slowly while hugging him and sometimes he’ll stop crying quicker but it doesn’t prevent the initial melt down. </p> <p>My niece is 3 and also has trouble with transitions. She doesn’t scream and cry but she will shut down. She just crosses her arms and sits down waiting to get her way or whatever. It’s not the crazy meltdowns DS has but it’s still not smooth transitioning :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836363 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 23:59:28 +0000 crazydoglady 2836363@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: This is helpful. I think I need to give him more "warning." I think because he is so speech delayed, it comes out as very dramatic crying...not that non-speech delayed kids don't cry dramatically. :silly: It just makes me sad that he is so broken up about these things that we do together being done. Thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836362 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 23:38:17 +0000 bhbee 2836362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: I'm sure others have better advice than me on that specific issue - I know some people have good luck using a kitchen timer to count down, or I've also heard the advice to ask them what's ONE more thing you want to do before we leave? (or one more place you want to vacuum as the case may be!)</p> <p>but I always think of this picture I took (quality parenting!) of my then 3yo lying face down on the floor sobbing because I wouldn't let her plug her headphones into the electrical outlet. :silly: it's tough being three!! and it's also tough parenting this kind of stuff while pregnant so give yourself a pass as needed! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836357 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 22:58:23 +0000 crazydoglady 2836357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: It's comforting to hear that it's "normal." I even make sure we have a fun activity to do next, but he is so stuck on what we were doing before-- even if it's using the vacuum! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836356 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 22:48:10 +0000 bhbee 2836356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>oh three . . . it's a loooooooooong year. :silly: I don't have a bunch of great advice just commiserating that it is high drama! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/3-year-old-constantly-cries-during-transitions#post-2836351 Thu, 26 Jul 2018 22:20:04 +0000 crazydoglady 2836351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is newly 3 and constantly cries during transitions. When we are outside watering and it's time to be done, he cries. He likes to help me vacuum and when that's done, he cries. If we are baking cookies and put them in the oven, he cries. You get the idea. I should say that he is very speech delayed (though making great strides.)<br /> Is this "normal?" How can I alleviate some of the drama? </p>