https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 00:26:14 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/35-year-old-said-she-didnt-like-black-person-on-tvs-face-help#post-2855861 Fri, 09 Nov 2018 08:20:02 +0000 foodiebee 2855861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Cup of Jo did a series of posts on this that might be good to check out too: </p> <p><a href="https://cupofjo.com/2016/10/raising-race-conscious-children/" rel="nofollow">https://cupofjo.com/2016/10/raising-race-conscious-children/</a></p> <p><a href="https://cupofjo.com/2016/10/childrens-books-featuring-kids-of-color/" rel="nofollow">https://cupofjo.com/2016/10/childrens-books-featuring-kids-of-color/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/35-year-old-said-she-didnt-like-black-person-on-tvs-face-help#post-2855851 Fri, 09 Nov 2018 07:16:20 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2855851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: haha, my son is constantly telling me he doesn’t like buttons and to change clothes when I am wearing shirts with buttons. :silly: </p> <p>Honestly, I hope we can all do better than just teach our children tolerance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/35-year-old-said-she-didnt-like-black-person-on-tvs-face-help#post-2855835 Thu, 08 Nov 2018 22:59:12 +0000 Mrsbells 2855835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@RonjaL7: Thanks for posting this. Its important to realize that a child doesnt have to br exposed to racism to behave this way. Just the lack of regular interaction with people who look different can be enough. This is why racial tolerance has to be intentionally taught and explicitly talked about in homes. The same goes for religious tolerance too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/35-year-old-said-she-didnt-like-black-person-on-tvs-face-help#post-2855824 Thu, 08 Nov 2018 19:43:41 +0000 Dahlia 2855824@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@RonjaL7: This list is nice, and you can sort by age group. <a href="https://www.commonsensemedia.org/lists/books-with-characters-of-color" rel="nofollow">https://www.commonsensemedia.org/lists/books-with-characters-of-color</a>. I think Mighty Girl has some, too. </p> <p>Definitely check out your library! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/35-year-old-said-she-didnt-like-black-person-on-tvs-face-help#post-2855823 Thu, 08 Nov 2018 19:18:17 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2855823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hitchhiker: all of this! Assuming it had anything to do with race, though. It's important to consider the possibility, by kids are blunt and they're sometimes picky about weird stuff like the beards described above. My ten month old cried and would not go to dh for like half a day when he last cut his hair, and it wasn't even that dramatic, just a shorter style. Both my girls have gotten weird about towels on my head post shower. It's just strange, but it does happen. But otherwise, all that was said above about starting a conversation rather than being "color blind." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/35-year-old-said-she-didnt-like-black-person-on-tvs-face-help#post-2855821 Thu, 08 Nov 2018 18:26:01 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2855821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@RonjaL7: here are some options that will put brown faces in the mix for exposure and representation: The Corduroy Bear; Ada Twist, Scientist; The Snowy Day; Mufaro’s Beautiful Daughters. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/35-year-old-said-she-didnt-like-black-person-on-tvs-face-help#post-2855819 Thu, 08 Nov 2018 18:11:06 +0000 RonjaL7 2855819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@magnolia: thank you </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/35-year-old-said-she-didnt-like-black-person-on-tvs-face-help#post-2855818 Thu, 08 Nov 2018 18:10:00 +0000 RonjaL7 2855818@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I mentioned it to daycare and they are going to look into some books they can share with the whole class. The one kid I mentioned that was in her class moved up to the next class in the September move and I just hadn't realized until I looked around at pickup. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/35-year-old-said-she-didnt-like-black-person-on-tvs-face-help#post-2855817 Thu, 08 Nov 2018 18:07:14 +0000 RonjaL7 2855817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Dahlia: she watches Daniel Tiger, Mother Goose Club, and Bubble Guppies which I know have some diversity. I think most of her books are pretty white though... or animals. :happy: She does have Not All Princesses Wear Pink. That one is pretty good. </p> <p>Do you have any recommendations? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/35-year-old-said-she-didnt-like-black-person-on-tvs-face-help#post-2855794 Thu, 08 Nov 2018 15:32:06 +0000 Dahlia 2855794@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you for wanting to talk to your kid about this! Check out the resources at Raising Race Conscious Children: <a href="http://www.raceconscious.org" rel="nofollow">http://www.raceconscious.org</a></p> <p>Also, you said she has some black Barbies, but maybe look at her books. Are they all about white children? What about the TV she watches? She may not have been exposed to overt racism, but she's absolutely seeing/living white privilege everyday. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/35-year-old-said-she-didnt-like-black-person-on-tvs-face-help#post-2855778 Thu, 08 Nov 2018 14:17:14 +0000 Mrs D 2855778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The other ladies have given you great advice, I just wanted to chime in that we have gone through this with DD2. Our girls go to a VERY diverse school...they have been exposed to all varieties of people. We love it.</p> <p>DD2 was having some issues with a few of the dads saying they were scary and crying when they came into the room - for a few weeks. DH commented that it seemed to be these two dads in particular who both happened to be black, DH was terrified why she was only reacting to the two black dads in the room. I started doing more drop offs/pick ups (for totally other reasons) and noted that as it turns out they were the only two dads with beards. We ended up discussing with her (as best you can a 2.5 year old) and realized the beard was the scary part (no men in our family have beards) by asking some vague but leading questions.</p> <p>She has since cried at another dad who is white and has chosen to grow a beard. So perhaps it was something about the two peoples appearances not skin color related....? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/35-year-old-said-she-didnt-like-black-person-on-tvs-face-help#post-2855761 Thu, 08 Nov 2018 12:56:41 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2855761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: Completely agree with this advice. Usually at that age, there's an association of some sort - ie, the dark is scary, this person's skin is dark, thus they are scary. So I'd talk to her about what makes her feel scared to see if you can find the roots of her fear, and start talking about empathy right away as well - how she would feel if someone said that she was scary because of her skin color or hair color, getting into some books on the subject (Common Sense media is one of many great resources: <a href="https://www.commonsensemedia.org/lists/books-that-promote-tolerance-and-diversity)" rel="nofollow">https://www.commonsensemedia.org/lists/books-that-promote-tolerance-and-diversity)</a> and as @hitchhiker said, using this as a prompt for an ongoing conversation. I would also make sure that your reaction to her comments isn't negative - if she starts feeling like she's doing something wrong, she's not going to listen as actively as she would if you were to explore this from a curiosity/"tell me more" perspective. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/35-year-old-said-she-didnt-like-black-person-on-tvs-face-help#post-2855758 Thu, 08 Nov 2018 12:37:25 +0000 hitchhiker 2855758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is actually very normal. You should view it as an opening to have conversations about race. As they article that @Silva linked to points out, kids are going to make assumptions about the difference between people. I see it as my job to teach my kids that people do, indeed, look different, and our society treats them different as a result, and it's our job to work to stop that. </p> <p>I've actually been trying to get my 5 yo to make statements about race as an opening to have more conversations, but she hasn't been taking my bait. So then I just bring it up randomly, which is, in my opinion, much harder. </p> <p>I'm trying to find an article I read about how it's better to talk to your kids directly about race than assume that they will learn from being around a diverse group of people. I'll comment again if I can find it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/35-year-old-said-she-didnt-like-black-person-on-tvs-face-help#post-2855753 Thu, 08 Nov 2018 12:22:57 +0000 magnolia 2855753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have this book which I think is pretty great. It celebrates how children and families come in all different colors</p> <p>[attach=4966/18/phvxm9.600x525.90514A0C-1FA1-4BEA-9AE8-A3847F7FC1D0.jpeg] </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/35-year-old-said-she-didnt-like-black-person-on-tvs-face-help#post-2855752 Thu, 08 Nov 2018 12:16:41 +0000 Silva 2855752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p><a href="https://medium.com/embrace-race/your-5-year-old-is-already-racially-biased-heres-what-you-can-do-about-it-d72de0480ba3" rel="nofollow">https://medium.com/embrace-race/your-5-year-old-is-already-racially-biased-heres-what-you-can-do-about-it-d72de0480ba3</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/35-year-old-said-she-didnt-like-black-person-on-tvs-face-help#post-2855751 Thu, 08 Nov 2018 12:14:08 +0000 Mama Bird 2855751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's a tough one... she's having a pretty intense response (acting scared?!) so I wonder if she's responding to something specific. Maybe not even something that happened to her - it could just as easily be a scene in a movie. You could start by asking her what is making her upset, whether someone scared her, or someone told her a scary story, or something like that.</p> <p>It could "just" be exposure to racism, but it may help to dig more to find out exactly where this is coming from. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/35-year-old-said-she-didnt-like-black-person-on-tvs-face-help#post-2855749 Thu, 08 Nov 2018 11:57:54 +0000 RonjaL7 2855749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh I need some help on this one...</p> <p>While watching some cooking competition on the food network last night, my 3.5 yr old daughter remarked that she "didn't like that girls face" to a woman of color and turned the TV off. I was horrified.</p> <p>So I told her that we don't like people because they are mean to us or shove us, but that we don't not like people because of the way they look, and that that wasn't nice or kind. Then I opened up a magazine and asked her to point out the people she liked. She was pointing to mostly everyone and saying she liked them... even some lighter toned black people. Then she got to a darker black person and shielded herself away (like she was scared) and said she didn't like them.</p> <p>I have no idea what to do. We don't live in a largely diverse area in southern NH, but I know there is at least one black child in her daycare room. We also have some hand me down toys from my boss that have black Barbies and babydolls and she has interchangeably played with those along with her other dolls without noting any differences.</p> <p>I can't imagine that she has ever been exposed to any racism, and I just can't figure out where this came from or what to do about it.</p> <p>Please help! </p>