https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 01 May 2026 22:33:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/4-year-old-and-2-year-oldomg#post-2797010 Mon, 15 Jan 2018 08:39:26 +0000 RonjaL7 2797010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You could try building a fort with blankets and chairs and have 2 of them (one for each) or two rooms with a tunnel connecting or something. My kids can play forever in a fort by themselves. </p> <p>It is kind of strange advice, but seeing how the older one has some trauma I would really try to guide O to have some compassion and patients with him. I know O is still really young, but you would be amazed at what 2 year olds can comprehend. </p> <p>Maybe some books would help... like childrens books about siblings or fostering, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/4-year-old-and-2-year-oldomg#post-2796994 Mon, 15 Jan 2018 00:11:36 +0000 Mama Bird 2796994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: that phase was so very awful. There were some ugly scenes with me physically removing a screaming DS from whatever he'd done this time to provoke DD. Not that she really needed defending, she was always the first one to throw a punch... but I could only watch DS be mean to a baby so many times a day.<br /> It did eventually sink in for both of them that if things get to the point where I have to separate them, no one ends up happy and no one gets to play with the toy they're fighting over. Until then, it was months of the same thing repeating.</p> <p>I told them both off more times than I can count, but focused more on disciplining DS, as the older one and the one more capable of understanding when he's being a jerk. I'm still not sure that was the right thing to do, and it certainly doesn't sound like that would work well in your case. It sounds like you're doing all the right things, it's just a long slog through the days until they grow out of it.</p> <p>For what it's worth, my two are usually much better at playing nice now. I still have to be the referree now and then, but at least DS isn't going out of his way to upset DD on purpose, and they're both able to pass toys back and forth if they want the same one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/4-year-old-and-2-year-oldomg#post-2796979 Sun, 14 Jan 2018 21:24:10 +0000 ShootingStar 2796979@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a 4 year old and a 1.5 year old and some days I want to pull my hair out. I almost lost my mind because we had like 2 weeks in a row of long weekends, snow, sub zero weather, and sickness that kept us home. </p> <p>My kids adore each other, they’re probably each other’s favorite person and they still fight a ton. The older one will show the younger one a toy and then when she wants it he starts yelling that he had it first. And of course whatever one has the other wants. The younger one is also very mischievous and will try to get big brother attention by pulling off one of his socks and running away, or hugging/laying on top of him. </p> <p>So anyways, it sounds fairly normal. Keep them separated when you can, even if it’s just having the older one sit at the table and color or use play doh. And as others have said, get out of the house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/4-year-old-and-2-year-oldomg#post-2796922 Sun, 14 Jan 2018 12:50:23 +0000 Foodnerd81 2796922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kids are 2 and 4.5 and they fight a LOT. And this is with them living with each other constantly for two years. Their biggest thing is fighting over toys. We have about ten baby dolls at the moment and about six thousand baby accessories and they still fight over the same toy all. The. Time. </p> <p>We still have a play yard gate type thing set up where one of them can build with blocks or whatever without the other one touching (baby jail). And if they are fighting over a toy and can’t work it out themselves we have started just taking that toy away, regardless of whose fault it is. Getting out helps a lot too. And we have multiples of way more toys than I ever thought would be necessary. </p> <p>Since J is so new to you, I do really think/ hope that’s part of it. My older one is the brash obvious trouble maker. My 2 year old is the sneaky trouble maker who will cause trouble then walk away looking all innocent- something I know I was absolutely guilty of as a kid too. </p> <p>When all else fails- tv. No shame. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/4-year-old-and-2-year-oldomg#post-2796921 Sun, 14 Jan 2018 12:37:29 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2796921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: Same here. Small town and we live 20 min from anything. I'm ready for summer already! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/4-year-old-and-2-year-oldomg#post-2796920 Sun, 14 Jan 2018 12:21:51 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2796920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: oh yah I cannot stay in the house. It's freezing here bt we just came in from a play outside. I also will go to Walmart to browse to kill some time and give us something to do. We live in a small town so there's not a lo of options for things to do in the winter so we just bundle up and go outside. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/4-year-old-and-2-year-oldomg#post-2796916 Sun, 14 Jan 2018 11:45:51 +0000 gotkimchi 2796916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: yes those are all good! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/4-year-old-and-2-year-oldomg#post-2796915 Sun, 14 Jan 2018 11:43:11 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2796915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skipra: Yeah, we've been separating them a lot. Like 90% of the time.<br /> @gotkimchi: I've seriously been coming up with a list of things I can do today that won't cost money but will be out of the house! Hike with the dog. Stop at the playground. Etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/4-year-old-and-2-year-oldomg#post-2796913 Sun, 14 Jan 2018 11:33:08 +0000 gotkimchi 2796913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We also have a 2 and 4yo and I spend a lot of time holding the 2yo. We also will put the 4yo in the pack n play so she can build stuff without the baby knocking it down. I also try to keep them separate ie baby in high chair with stuff to do 4yo at table. The other stuff that helps is being out of the house, and also physical activity. We have a slide and a kid trampoline in our living room :shocked: so chic. But it’s also so much whining and yelling and fighting</p> <p>ETA this is why we don’t stay home. I will literally go to the grocery store just for something to do </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/4-year-old-and-2-year-oldomg#post-2796908 Sun, 14 Jan 2018 11:19:17 +0000 skipra 2796908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When my 2 are not getting along, I separate them until I can cool down and think of something we can do together. Sometimes, reading a Paw Patrol book and reminding them that teamwork is best and having some sort of activity to do together. Blocks or play doh and making some sort of game out of it. Also just get them out of the house! My kids are always nicer to each other in public lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/4-year-old-and-2-year-oldomg#post-2796906 Sun, 14 Jan 2018 11:08:19 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2796906@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: Thanks. I'm glad it's not just us. We have the opposite problem. 2 year old is really rough, independent, feisty. 4 year old is meek, whiny, sensitive, but also a little naughty with the constant teasing and taunting her. SO FRUSTRATING! What do you do all day when you're home with them? I want to run away and it's only 8 am! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/4-year-old-and-2-year-oldomg#post-2796905 Sun, 14 Jan 2018 11:03:44 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2796905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kids are almost 4 and 1.5. They literally never get along. It is brutal and really tiring. My 4 year old is super rough and my 1.5 year old is very whiny and has a flair for being dramatic. No advice, but sounds normal. At least in my house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/4-year-old-and-2-year-oldomg#post-2796903 Sun, 14 Jan 2018 10:54:16 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2796903@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm hoping this isn't a long term arrangement because it's not working. But we currently have O who is 2 and J who is almost 5 (but developmentally probably a little younger). They basically have to be separated at all times. O wants to hit him, throw things at him, etc. He does things that invite that behavior (sitting really close and saying he doesn't want to be touched, teasing her, etc.). </p> <p>How do you deal with siblings at this stage? The amount of time when they're getting along is about 10% and pretty much only if we are outside or on an excursion. We are doing time outs for O but it doesn't seem to help much. Haven't quite figured out consequences for J because he's new to us and super sensitive and has so much trauma. Time outs seem to be a trigger, but we need something because as it is there is no listening ever. UGH. Why is tomorrow a holiday?! </p>