https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 19 Apr 2026 18:34:23 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/45-month-old-bedtime#post-2784361 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 00:11:08 +0000 gingerbebe 2784361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cake2017: both my sons had reflux - my eldest was horrific until we got his meds worked out at 12 weeks. Before that he slept like 20 minutes at a time around the clock. He also actually hated cosleeping and being held - hes introverted and easily overstimulated and runs hot so all the bouncing and holding upright just made him so pissed and touched out. Also unlike every reflux baby he did not like the rock n play because he felt so confined. He was also almost an only child because I wanted to die - I could never make him happy. One time when he was 2 months old he smiled at me in the rear view mirror of my car after screaming and angry facing me for a week and I literally started bawling and rear ended our mailbox.</p> <p>Anyways. When he finally got his meds sorted he didn't know how to sleep in stretches beyond a 45 min sleep cycle because he basically rarely had. We sleeptrained with CIO (it's what worked with his personality). He's had a separate sleep space since sleep-training. Unlike every other reflux baby he hated the rock n play because he felt confined in it and dropped his swaddle early for the same reason. He literally WANTED to sprawl out in a starfish in his crib. CIO was hard but he had cried all the time anyway, so it wasn't that bad - also cuz DH handled it mostly. Once we trained we found out he actually has high sleep needs. He went from sleeping 8 broken hours in a 24 hour period to sleeping 17-18 hours a day, with 12 hours overnight (with a dreamfeed I woke him for at 10pm until 5 months old) and 3 naps averaging 2 hours each. Even at over 3, he sleeps 11-12 hours a night and on weekends naps 3 hours. He also WANTS his bed, his white noise machine, lights off, and his blackout curtains drawn. </p> <p>DS2 had reflux but not as bad and we had it medicated by 6 weeks and controlled by 8 weeks old. We put him in his own room from 3 weeks on. Both my kids just sleep better (maybe cuz we snore?) in their own rooms. Same - white noise, blackout curtains. We started his bedtime routine from the jump. Bath, jammies, sing two lullabies, prayers, and put him down at 730pm. We also always did drowsy but awake for him. So while we did allow him to fuss for up to 10 minutes at a time once his meds kicked in, we didn't really sleeptrain him like we did for DS1. He was sleeping from dreamfeed to morning by 10 weeks and 12 hours by 12 weeks. But again, he is a more laid back child. </p> <p>Sleeptraining has helped our regressions a lot - I feel like they always passed faster bc they had the habit of sleeping by themselves. Sure they woke up some, or needed more holding or comfort, but we always put them back into their beds. Once the regression passed, they went right back to sleeping fine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/45-month-old-bedtime#post-2784301 Sun, 05 Nov 2017 15:23:56 +0000 cake2017 2784301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: Thank you so much for sharing. DH and I have talked and we are starting to sleep train tonight for bed. We are going to put LO down at 830pm anticipating some crying and falling asleep later. I am going to drop 5am/530 feedings as well. Our jobs aren’t that flexible but we will make it work. Sleep is important to all of us and we will make sure he gets what he needs. I appreciate you sharing how it works in your home. The regression and reflux have been tough on his sleep as well. </p> <p>He also sleeps in our room for now so I think that hurts his sleep too. Moving to his own room next month. FTM here so anything helps and I appreciate it. We are going to do a bedtime of 830/9pm and push for a wake up at 7-8am... also 3 naps a day as well. Thanks again! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/45-month-old-bedtime#post-2784300 Sun, 05 Nov 2017 15:18:35 +0000 winniebee 2784300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cake2017: no, he doesn't usually sleep through...it's typically a 6-8 hour first stretch and then he sleeps another 3 or so hours for a total of 11 hours in bed. It can be very random, but he is typically only up once. Last night was 8:30-3:30 but he was up for 2 hours, then slept until 8:30. The night before was 8-4, then until 7:30. A few nights last week he did 9-5:30. 9 is way too late for me, though - my other kids get up at 6:30 so I myself want to go to bed by 9:30 (and have some wind down time in there!) Ideally, bed time would be 7:30 or so. He's my third and I do agree as a general rule that most babies sleep better with an earlier bed time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/45-month-old-bedtime#post-2784298 Sun, 05 Nov 2017 15:13:45 +0000 cake2017 2784298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: When is his wake time? Does he sleep through the night? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/45-month-old-bedtime#post-2784290 Sun, 05 Nov 2017 13:35:17 +0000 winniebee 2784290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I aim for 8. He often won’t until 9. My other kids go to bed at 8, so I would prefer earlier for baby but it hasn’t worked yet. He is 4.5m. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/45-month-old-bedtime#post-2784286 Sun, 05 Nov 2017 13:09:27 +0000 gingerbebe 2784286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I abide by a bedtime 12 hours after wake up time and a firm nap schedule. And 11-12 hours overnight unbroken. So if you want the kid to stay up until 930pm, you would be looking at the kid waking up at 930am. And then a regular nap schedule during the day.</p> <p>I personally would never dreamfeed at 5am. My kids' sleep was lightest at that 5am hour and if they woke up at or after 5am, they were up for the day. I do dreamfeed at night around 10pm after a 730pm bedtime because it makes that first stretch of sleep longest and unbroken and because it's nighttime. </p> <p>I'm usually a big proponent of doing what works for your family, so like if you were musicians who always had late nights or das had shift work and would never see his kids otherwise, I get mixing up the schedule. BUT I would caution you that you are molding sleep habits now that will stick and be harder to undo later. </p> <p>If your child gets used to going to bed at 930am and being woken to eat at 5am, they will continue to want to do that. And at some point your kid will fight bedtime or need a lot of settling (it's not uncommon for a toddler to drag out bedtime an hour or more), and that 930pm will become a 11pm. And that 5am waketime will be a 3-4am early rising. It's hard enough when you have a 7pm bedtime and 7am wake up time.</p> <p>My boys have always been on 730 bedtimes and waketime ranges from 645am-8am. I moved my work schedule around so that I can get home by 5pm and that gives us 2-2.5 hours to spend with them each day. I plan out my life and meal plan and pack bags the night before so that they can sleep in as late as possible in the mornings, so that I can get to work by 8am instead of 9am like most folks, and I can have dinner on the table in 20 minutes or less. DH works for himself but he hits pause those 2.5 hours every day and works more after the kids are in bed at night. DH and I just decided sleep for the kids and for us was just that important. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/45-month-old-bedtime#post-2784283 Sun, 05 Nov 2017 12:15:10 +0000 MissKriss19 2784283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Between 5-6pm. If we keep her up any later than that she turns into a cranky little monster. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/45-month-old-bedtime#post-2784230 Sat, 04 Nov 2017 22:06:15 +0000 cake2017 2784230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: Good points! LO isn’t cranky when he wakes up! He has acid reflux so that causes his wakings at night. I nurse him to sleep along with rocking so when he wakes up he expects that per our pediatrician. That’s why i plan to nap/ bed train. We pushed his bedtime back to 9 pm. He takes a nap around 630/7pm for about 45 mins. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/45-month-old-bedtime#post-2784228 Sat, 04 Nov 2017 21:57:46 +0000 SweetiePie 2784228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Weissbluth actually says that bedtime at that age (and for a long time) should be between 5 and 7pm! The reason being that they just can’t handle being awake for much longer than that. That being said, of course there are exceptions to every rule. </p> <p>At that age and for a long time bedtime was 6:30/7. Like @grace: said, they should be getting about 12 hours overnight at that age. So 6:30-6:30 was our overnight sleep schedule for a long time. </p> <p>Weissbluth and others also talk a lot about keeping kids up late for the benefit of seeing working parents. They say to think of time with your baby/child as quality vs quantity. If keeping him up till 8:30/9/9:30 is resulting in more time together but that time is low quality (fussiness/crankiness/overtired), consider doing an earlier bedtime and instead appreciating the quality time you have together in mornings or on weekends. In my opinion, Sleep is a necessity that we shouldn’t mess with for our (adult) conveniences or desires. They grow and develop and recharge when they sleep. I’d rather have a happy and growing baby that I can fully enjoy my time with. When I was working my sons bedtime was 6:30 and I had to leave work early as possible and rush home. He was already fed and I just had to do bedtime routine and it really sucked only having about 30 mins with him but those 30 mins were so happy and pleasant that it was worth it. I looked forward to it vs worrying if he’d be a mess and when he woke from his last nap. My husband actually got home quite often after he was already in bed but he understood that was what had to happen for a while - it’s a season. Now my son is 3 and stays up till 8/8:30 and we can enjoy more things as a family. It was worth the wait in order for healthy sleep habits to be established. </p> <p>I know a lot of people keep the baby up later and let them sleep later and that seems to work for them. But as someone mentioned up-thread, that won’t always be convenient once school starts, or say your “Grandma-care” has to end and you have to drop off at daycare or something instead - sleeping in late won’t be possible and it will be harder to change the older and more set in the routine they become. </p> <p>Lastly, there is definitely a regression at 4 months. However as @grace: also said, if it has lasted or continues to last for more than 2-3 weeks I would consider that it’s more than a regression. Overtiredness can also cause multiple night wakings and wanting to be held, etc. If you are already doing a later than normal bedtime it could be that the baby is overtired and that’s whats causing the night time mayhem. Which then causes a vicious cycle because the baby still isn’t rested in the morning.<br /> What time is he waking from the last nap before bedtime?<br /> Just something to consider.</p> <p>Good luck with everything! I hope you can find a schedule that works for everyone. :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/45-month-old-bedtime#post-2784225 Sat, 04 Nov 2017 21:50:26 +0000 cake2017 2784225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Grace: Thanks! Yeas I’m thinking about letting him sleep in to make up for those hours. He isn’t cranky at night or when he wakes up. He naps 4 x a day. I’m about to nap train since this regression started. He wakes throughout the night also so hoping to teach him how to get back to sleep. He use to sleep through the night but it went out the window since changing his feedings. If we have to do 9-8 or something like that i think that may work! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/45-month-old-bedtime#post-2784218 Sat, 04 Nov 2017 20:38:12 +0000 Grace 2784218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think a lot of kids need around 12 hours sleep overnight, so that might trip you up. As a comparison, my 4.5 month old goes to bed at 7:30 and is up at 8. He’s also awake ~30-40 min altogether overnight for eating. But,try it and see how it goes. If baby is super cranky every night and the regression seems to last and last, you’ll know it’s not working. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/45-month-old-bedtime#post-2784202 Sat, 04 Nov 2017 18:55:33 +0000 cake2017 2784202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Portboston: Yes, hubby and will definitely have an earlier bedtime when he starts preschool. Right now he’s home and will be watched by my mother. At times, I feel fine with him going to bed around 9pm/930pm but with the sleep regression I feel guilty cause he keeps waking up etc. Thank you for the feedback. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/45-month-old-bedtime#post-2784196 Sat, 04 Nov 2017 17:13:43 +0000 Portboston 2784196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think we were at a 6:30/7 bedtime then. But my son has always been a terrible sleeper and I could never get him adjusted to be later. Only now at 2.5 is he on a 7:30 bedtime. I have a LOT of friends who do later bedtimes with their kids and it totally works. Some go to bed as late as yours and have all their life. I think the 6-8:30 thing is a suggestion because once kids are in daycare/school and they have to be up early, you’ll want them going to bed a bit earlier to make sure they get enough night sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/45-month-old-bedtime#post-2784130 Sat, 04 Nov 2017 02:07:55 +0000 cake2017 2784130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Baby goes to bed around 9-930pm. We have this time because when I return to work I want to be able to be apart of his bedtime routine. Also DH works late and would be able to see him. I read that bedtime is 6pm-830pm???? Baby is in a sleep regression now and just wants to nurse all night and be held so hoping to sleep train shortly. We want him to have his sleep. I would like to. it’s him in the morning before heading to work(nurse around 5am)- maybe a dreamfeed??? and let him sleep until 7/8am - eat and nap... what do you all think? TIA </p>