https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 16:37:48 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2468435 Sat, 20 Feb 2016 03:24:06 +0000 Kemma 2468435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Happygal: @2littlepumpkins: @Mrs. Sketchbook: I think it's like any parenting theory / philosophy, you have to take what you find useful but don't get caught up in the dogma! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2468429 Sat, 20 Feb 2016 02:52:17 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2468429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: also sorry for the thread jack, I know my comments are a little off topic. Hope everything is going a little better, sorry I don't have any great advice though there is a lot of great advice here! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2468405 Sat, 20 Feb 2016 00:06:39 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2468405@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: I read that post awhile ago when first starting to read JL and I actually felt less guilty after reading it, lol. I guess different strokes for different folks. ;) I don't like that aha parenting does not seem very flexible. It's like you WILL breastfeed, you WILL do xyz, or your priorities are warped. Um, no.</p> <p>@Happygal: Fair enough. I do think she does a good job of taking RIE And she is linked on the rie.org website as well. But so are some other authors. I'm trying to get through Gerber's book but have relied on JL in the meantime. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2468286 Fri, 19 Feb 2016 20:10:59 +0000 Happygal 2468286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: AP and RIE differ in some major ways. Here's a blog post that explains those differences: <a href="http://www.janetlansbury.com/2013/03/bonding-with-babies-where-rie-and-attachment-parenting-differ/" rel="nofollow">http://www.janetlansbury.com/2013/03/bonding-with-babies-where-rie-and-attachment-parenting-differ/</a></p> <p>I'm really glad you brought up that point! I like a lot of the RIE stuff, but I'm definitely not sold 100%. When I read Lansbury's bio, I kept waiting for some kind of credentials to pop up. She shares about her modeling days and wild times in the 80s, but past working closely with the founder of RIE, I don't see enough there to consider her a true expert. Maybe that makes me a snob, wanting to see someone has studied child development or counseling or something, but I consider the source when taking advice to inform our parenting decisions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2468228 Fri, 19 Feb 2016 18:15:58 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2468228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: Ok so I decided to look at JL's blog to see if my former aversion was just distorted thinking. I feel like posts like this are what I'm talking about:</p> <p><a href="http://www.janetlansbury.com/2015/05/no-bad-parents-guest-post-by-michael-lansbury/" rel="nofollow">http://www.janetlansbury.com/2015/05/no-bad-parents-guest-post-by-michael-lansbury/</a></p> <p>I found the rhetoric in this post unsettling. It seems to support a notion that all parents can just push through on nothing but pure willpower and desire to change. I'm actually taking an ed psych class right now and we are studying motivation, and just last night I was reading about how interest/desire to achieve is less motivating than positive self-perception. I'm honestly wary of any parenting advice that leads with something like, "if you feel like a good parent, then why don't you just change already." Just as I would be wary of any teacher who would say to a kid, "if you want to be a better student, then just stop being a bad one." If only it were that simple! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2468209 Fri, 19 Feb 2016 17:44:01 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2468209@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha phone changed Kohn to John, </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2468208 Fri, 19 Feb 2016 17:43:16 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2468208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: I just didn't feel like JL has has much specific tips for managing adult emotions the way aha does. Dr. Laura does whole series on how to deal with your adult issues, family of origin issues, etc. She seems to see these issues as cyclical, meaning parents act out what they learned as children, a small scale version of the cycle of abuse. Perhaps because she is trained as a psychologist. I feel similarly about Alfie John<br /> Until you've done significant self help, it is pointless to read his books, they are too shame triggering. And all shame does is perpetuate the cycle. </p> <p>As far as AP vs. RIE I will admit I don't know a lot of the differences. I didn't start reading either blog until my LO was 2+. I sort of assumed the major differences were below 2 but I'm open to learning more! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2468147 Fri, 19 Feb 2016 16:34:24 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2468147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: If JL is shame inducing, aha parenting is at least that much IMO... Also it may be that RIE didn't resonate with you as much as AP. While many people say they pick and choose from those toolboxes, there are some big differences between the two. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2467877 Fri, 19 Feb 2016 12:49:28 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2467877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: so many people have listed so many great resources here! It's awesome that you're finding some ideas to try. I think it's not about repressing anger or bottling it up, but more about learning how to calm yourself &amp; express feelings BEFORE the "boiling point". I was recently at a training about self-care &amp; stress relief for professional caregivers. Our presenter mentioned that, with self-reflection and time, we can learn our triggers and identify when we're becoming stressed so we can use tools to de-stress before it becomes overwhelming.<br /> Parenting is hard, especially when you're trying to parent in a different way than you were raised. I have 2 degrees, a dozen years of experience, and tons of training involving how to teach &amp; care for young children and I STILL struggle sometimes with losing my temper with my child. No one is perfect. If you slip every so often, it's okay as long as you are in control most of the time and doing your best to stay calm. Eventually, you will get to where you want to be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2467681 Fri, 19 Feb 2016 11:04:42 +0000 littlejoy 2467681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: Totally agree with this. I was visiting my doctor for general anxiety (not specifically related to my kiddo - just having a lot on my plate). Now, I work out every single day. It's 30 minutes ... sometimes just yoga ... sometimes hardcore cardio. But, taking that time for self-care is invaluable. I do think I'm a more patient parent because of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2467670 Fri, 19 Feb 2016 10:58:30 +0000 rachiecakes 2467670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: I think about this too! When I turned 18 I moved to California (fromMA) with a friend and we lived with relatives. We thought it was so cool but I never once considered - we didn't pay rent, we didn't buy groceries, we borrowed cars, ugh. I feel terrible about it now but my teenage self didn't understand.<br /> My husband gets really upset when my 4yo says, "I don't like you" or "I don't want to stay with daddy" ... like really upset. He'll plan fun outings and LO would rather watch TV or play with his toys and he doesn't understand.<br /> The 4yo brain just doesn't work the same way as a 36 (or 51, my DH!) brain does. The understanding just isn't there yet... and won't be for a looong time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2467629 Fri, 19 Feb 2016 10:36:34 +0000 Kimberlybee 2467629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: Yes, I agree! It applies to everyone. I am a big fan of positive parenting too. We, the parents, need to take care of our emotional well being just as much as we do for our kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2467597 Fri, 19 Feb 2016 10:17:33 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2467597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kimberlybee: that also applies to parents! I don't have enough willpower to get through the tough times. I have to have support and I have to set boundaries around my own happiness. Actually when I was going through the worst of it I could not read janet Lansbury because at the time it was so shame inducing. Same with orange rhino. I prefer aha parenting as the first introduction to positive parenting because she seems to recognize that parents need to treat themselves with the same loving care that they put on their kids. Her website seems to be as much about parental self care as parenting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2467585 Fri, 19 Feb 2016 10:11:16 +0000 Kimberlybee 2467585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I saw this quote and wanted to share it too. </p> [attach=394/16/o2svis.505x395.image.jpeg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2467573 Fri, 19 Feb 2016 10:04:55 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2467573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dagret: I wish there was a way to get DH to understand this concept. I feel lately like he gets so upset for me about little things (why didn't you turn the light back on after you got out of bed). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2467567 Fri, 19 Feb 2016 10:01:22 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2467567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This thread is so old that it feels stupid to even post anything. There's tons of good advice here but I think one key missing piece: always always always put yourself first. Always. Always practice self care. If you arent practicing self care then you can't weather the storms. You probably yell because you're overextended and maybe you learned to yell from your parents, who also were overextended. The solution is not to internalize shame about how much you suck as a mom and "do better" because that will not work. The solution is to put your own mental health and happiness first so that you don't need your child to act a certain way in order for you to be happy. I think you feel piled on here because you haven't been given this key bit of advice. Focus always on making yourself happy. Yesterday I had a big meltdown with my kid because he refused to put on his clothes and pick up his messes and as a result we didn't leave the house all day. I was really upset and I did stonewall him for a little while to try to get my emotions in check. Then I got on the treadmill in our living room while DS played legos. Took me 45 minutes to calm down but afterward not only was I happy mom again but my workout was done for the day. Win win. I didn't yell. I was happy with the progress I made. But I can still do more. The solution is to continue to invest in my own happiness outside of motherhood and correspondingly lower my expectations of motherhood. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2467547 Fri, 19 Feb 2016 09:47:41 +0000 catomd00 2467547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dagret: I could not agree more! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2467468 Fri, 19 Feb 2016 09:11:06 +0000 dagret 2467468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you reframe/lower your expectations, you *won't have any anger to suppress*. It's transformative, really. </p> <p>To give a much lower-stakes, simpler example, I used to get FURIOUS that DH wouldn't change the toilet paper roll. It would make me so angry and would affect my entire day. Then one day I realized that he wasn't going to change, that nothing I said or did would change it, and I was spending more time angry over the toilet paper roll than the 4 seconds it would take to change it myself. So I decided to not let it bother me anymore. And it was miraculous.</p> <p>Honestly - when I'm out with my kids, I put a miniseries of expectations in my head. Like - my first expectation is, yay, we all got out of the house! then my second one is, yay, DS didn't run away from me at the mall! Then my third is, yay, I managed to take them both to a restaurant and feed them on my own! Tops would be getting out of there with no tantrums. I missed that goal, but because I set other "hooray for me being a mom" points, it still feels good to hit some accomplishments. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2467347 Fri, 19 Feb 2016 07:31:42 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2467347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't read all the responses. </p> <p>I've been thinking about this a lot. And while kids are obviously soooo frustrating, I do think your expectations are too high. </p> <p>There is no way a three year old can know you took time and effort to make a day special. The main thing I keep thinking back to: when I was 15, my sister was 14 and my brother was 12 my mom took us to Atlantis in the Bahamas. Looking back it probably cost her close to $10,000. We were bratty and not super greatful.. We were in bad moods because we missed our friends and weren't getting along. We obviously did have fun and weren't horrible the entire time, but I'm sure those bad moments made my mom upset. </p> <p>I'm just realizing this now 12 years later that my mom probably felt so upset by our actions. I don't think your three year old has any where near the mental capacity to realize "my mom took time to plan this. I better behave for the rest of the day" </p> <p>I think lowering expectations is going to be your best bet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2467319 Fri, 19 Feb 2016 06:19:29 +0000 catomd00 2467319@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know anyhing about the link between repressed anger and cancer, but at the end of the day taking your anger out on your child and not controlling your emotions around him is not an appropriate outlet and probably far more damaging to him and your relationship with him, than the potential risk of cancer. You can exercise self control around him and have another outlet to express your emotions that don't involve him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/3#post-2467208 Thu, 18 Feb 2016 22:33:50 +0000 KatieBklyn 2467208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: There have been studies on repressed anger and cancer. They're mostly inconclusive - some have suggested a link, others have found no correlation. But the repressed anger they're talking about is different from the kind of healthy emotional regulation you're employing when you take a deep breath and prevent yourself from yelling or otherwise venting. What you are doing is not repressing your anger, but learning to handle it and express it in away that's healthy for you and your son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/2#post-2467162 Thu, 18 Feb 2016 22:01:12 +0000 irene 2467162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: @Mrs. Lion: Thanks! Actually now I am trying to do the Orange Rhino challenge of not yelling for 30 days (or longer). I find it very very, very helpful and refreshing that she listed 7 levels of tone, and I am now watching my tone when it reaches something like a "3". The other day he almost ran into the road without holding my hand and I raised my voice, and I quickly remind myself of my tone. So now I am often very aware of my tone of voice, it is very very refreshing and I have never thought of that! So we'll see.</p> <p>These past 2 days he's been very good so I can't say I have a challenge yet.... I am cautiously hoping the skills and tips from everywhere and everyone will apply when that storm comes.... wish me luck!</p> <p>The thing I truly wonder is, if we couldn't express our anger and often swallow it back in when we are at the boiling point, will we all get cancer within 5-10 years? I am seriously wondering if anyone did any studies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/2#post-2467038 Thu, 18 Feb 2016 20:33:34 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2467038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: This post just came up on my facebook page and it made me think of this conversation. Some of these strategies sound over the top, but I can really see them working. Just thought I would share. I will be trying some of them myself. &lt;3 Hope your week is going better. </p> <p><a href="http://www.handinhandparenting.org/article/crazy-mad-what-to-do-when-your-kids-push-you-over-the-edge/" rel="nofollow">http://www.handinhandparenting.org/article/crazy-mad-what-to-do-when-your-kids-push-you-over-the-edge/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/2#post-2464903 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 16:54:13 +0000 Kemma 2464903@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: just something else to think about but it does take practice to change your reaction and attitude, especially when you're changing what has always been your go to and is deeply ingrained in your subconscience. I'm a firm believer that if you want it enough you will do it, and "I can't" will no longer be a good enough excuse for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/2#post-2464828 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 16:09:32 +0000 irene 2464828@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: Thanks - yeah JL really doesn't help but last night I was really looking at orange rhino and I resonated with it a lot more. I am even filling out their work sheets :) So like @Kemma: said, just different things work for different people. I think I can do it and I will find my way. Just please let me figure it out. Thank you :)</p> <p>PS: I went to therapy too, also didn't really help as much as I wish it would.... Honestly, some of the suggestions here helped me more (!) maybe I should try a different therapist but I also don't have buckets of cash for me to do that... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/2#post-2464703 Wed, 17 Feb 2016 15:00:52 +0000 littlejoy 2464703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Your response to @sarac: really struck me: </p> <p>"I know what you are saying, I also remind myself of that but it simply doesn't work. It is because that's who I am and I just have very very little patience. Again I am not saying it is a good thing. IT is a bad thing. But that's how I am and I can't control it. I need ways to tame it but I can't just say I need to model for my child therefore I need to do xyz. My problem is I can't do xyz. I tried and I can't. I just need to figure out a way to convince myself in order to change me. Which I am still trying to figure out."</p> <p>I think that therapy would be a place to learn these tools ... "I tried. I can't." If you aren't able to read a book, and absorb those thoughts, a trained professional would be an amazing tool for you. -- Your son's behaviors are completely normal. When he's acting out, it's like he's saying, "I need to count on you to help me through this. Teach me how to handle it." ... When you throw tantrums yourself, or react (even a negative reaction is a reaction, and they know that it gets your attention), it teaches them that's how we cope with stress. It's not surprising at all that he keeps having tantrums. It's what he's learning. </p> <p>It's hard. So hard. SOOOO HARRRDDDD! Toddlers &amp; young children have little to no impulse, but WE (as the adults) should. </p> <p>I find myself going back to: "What kind of parent does my little one deserve?" -- the answer is someone who is kind, mature, and can keep their shit together. If I feel that slipping, I remind myself of my parenting goals. If I couldn't get it together, I would absolutely seek professional help (without any shame at all), because I know my child deserves a parent who she can trust &amp; express feelings to. </p> <p>I know that Janet Lansbury isn't for everyone, but one simple tip has helped me. When I feel frustration creeping in ... I step back for a moment and take a deep breath. In my head, I just think, "Keep it calm. Keep it together." ... It always helps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/2#post-2463891 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 22:16:34 +0000 irene 2463891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: Yes and my son will be 23 years old then lol ;-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/2#post-2463884 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 22:12:36 +0000 Kemma 2463884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: FWIW I think that one day you'll probably read or hear a piece of advice that you'll relate to and all of a sudden it will click and you'll be able to start reacting differently. For some people that's Janet Lansbury, for others it will be the orange rhino! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/2#post-2463862 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 21:46:23 +0000 irene 2463862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks again all, again I can't reply to all of you but please know that I really thank you for taking time to think about this.</p> <p>@ldh112: Thank you for the links! I watched the video and it was really helpful. I get this better than Janet's podcasts. I still have to read the other article. Thanks!</p> <p>@Foodnerd81: I am glad my bad day(s) helped. Honestly. hugs!</p> <p>@gingerbebe: Thank you, thank you for that analogy. That really really makes a lot of sense to me and in line with the brain video @ldh112: posted! And thank you so much for your other analogy of I just want to vent on a bad day / parental choice / breakdown that I am not proud of and didn't want negative + nonconstructive judgement (I am also not sure why everyone assumes I said screaming and crying in front of a child is an OK behavior. When did I say it was OK..?). Yes exactly what you said. Thank you for putting this out. I want to marry you lol. xoxoxoxo</p> <p>@sarac: I know what you are saying, I also remind myself of that but it simply doesn't work. It is because that's who I am and I just have very very little patience. Again I am not saying it is a good thing. IT is a bad thing. But that's how I am and I can't control it. I need ways to tame it but I can't just say I need to model for my child therefore I need to do xyz. My problem is I can't do xyz. I tried and I can't. I just need to figure out a way to convince myself in order to change me. Which I am still trying to figure out.</p> <p>@mediagirl: Funny, a similar thing happened to me too. When LO was 2 years old, we were at a restaurant eating with a friend also with a 2 year old. LO didn't get that plates can shatter when they reach the ground. He got ahold of a plate in his hands. While I was saying oh don't drop it don't throw it on the floor he threw it on the floor with full force and smashed it. His face was in shock. Everyone in the restaurant looked at him. He just froze and didn't even cry. You can tell he didn't know this would happen and he was sorry. I was completely ok with that. The waiter came and clean up and I said calmly that see, this is why I said do not throw it on the floor. Plates get broken when you do that. Can you please apologize to this gentleman who is cleaning this up? He quietly said sorry. And that was that. And that point you knew he learned. And he never did it again. It is the things that I am not understanding that pushed my buttons. This big mirror / plate breaking I can deal with no problem.</p> <p>So far the things that really helped me and I need to write it down big and remind myself:</p> <p>- "REFRAME" unrealistic EXPECTATIONS<br /> - Say what I really mean, and FOLLOW THROUGH<br /> - Young child's brain is NOT developed, they can not help it, even though they appeared to be rocket scientists already<br /> - My son couldn't help it and he also wanted understanding from me in the moments that he couldn't control himself, but he didn't have the tools to tell me<br /> - we all arrive on Earth with a gallon of feelings and a small container. The container will hopefully grow bigger when they grow older.<br /> - Orange Rhino challenge</p> <p>Thank you so, so much everyone!</p> <p>To recap on today - I picked DS up, he ran into my arms screaming with a high pitch voice (indoors, not normal, I told him to not do that as we are indoors). I pretend nothing happened and we went back to the parking lot. Everything seems cool. I apologized to him for screaming in the morning while we were in the car he said it is ok. I said it is not OK and I will learn to change. He said he is sorry for crying. We went home and while he helped me pull the recycle bin back home and we had fun, he threw another massive tantrum when I closed the garage and I didn't know he wanted to close the garage. I was able to calmly deal with this one (honestly, I can deal with single events when I had NO EXPECTATIONS, just not when multiple of them happen together and I expected a great day lol). I explained to him that he will be able to close the garage tomorrow if he remind me. He went to his room to continue to throw his tantrum but he was fine afterwards. I went upstairs to talk to him and he said he felt better. The rest of the night was good overall. It was a lot of I love you mommy and I love you too baby. I think both of us realize what happened and we were not our best selves. I kept in mind of the orange rhino challenge when I raised my voice a bit (eg. he didn't want to stay in bed after bedtime... another one of my buttons). I just really have to spend some time to list out all of my worst buttons and figure out how to deal with them and in the meantime I'd have to write something on the chalkboard to remind myself :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-combination-of-unfortunate-events-that-you-cant-handle/page/2#post-2463756 Tue, 16 Feb 2016 20:04:38 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2463756@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I find that a lot of the same things are triggers for me, and that even though I studied child development and in my head I know the right way to handle these situations, sometimes my emotions get out of control, just like my toddlers do. I just recently started seeing a therapist because I began to recognize that it is my job to be the parent and to cope with my emotions in order to help my son with his. No parent does this perfectly,but I really do find Janet Lansburys podcasts and posts helpful. The more I begin to understand why my son behaves the way he does, and the more I dig in and try to figure out why his behaviors trigger me to become so angry, the easier it is getting to manage. It's not easy, but I feel like it is really important for me to do the work to continuously grow so that I am not repeating the patterns that I grew up with in my own home as a child. </p> <p>Sending lots of hugs and support. These years are so so hard. </p>