https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 29 Apr 2026 01:41:57 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2565151 Fri, 10 Jun 2016 11:35:02 +0000 Rescuemom10 2565151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@magnoliamama42: YESS! Exactly! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2565102 Fri, 10 Jun 2016 10:30:13 +0000 magnoliamama42 2565102@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rescuemom10: I can't imagine the emotional turmoil. I imagine she will waffle back and forth from one extreme to the other ("we can work this out" vs. "we can never recover") several times. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.</p> <p>I know what you mean about them being one of "those" couples. There have been a few times where I've watched a marriage fall apart for couples I kind of looked up to as role models, and thinking "If THEY can't make it work, how can anyone??" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2565065 Fri, 10 Jun 2016 09:39:12 +0000 Rescuemom10 2565065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@magnoliamama42: Thanks. I actually agree. I have seen some friends go through a tough patch (the wife actually cheated) and they stayed together and worked it out and they actually seem stronger and better than before.<br /> It is possible.</p> <p>I'm just so floored. They were so amazing together. I just cant believe this happened. I would love to see them work it out. Go to some counseling or something. They just seemed so perfect for each other. They had such a beautiful love. Its hard to explain. But they were just one of "those couples" that seemed so genuine and perfectly matched. </p> <p>But on the same hand. Its a lot to move past. If its something she doesn't think she can eventually move on from or move forward.....I can totally understand that too. </p> <p>Its hard. She is still in limbo. He hasn't returned home yet from his trip. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2564592 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 15:53:28 +0000 sorrycharlie 2564592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh that is awful. A close family member went through something similar in the last few years (twice!! They don't change). It's heartbreaking to have to witness. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2564570 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 15:30:21 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2564570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@magnoliamama42: Agree. I wouldn't push for details but try to be there. You never know what she/he will try to do from here. Who knows if it was an emotional affair or if it actually got to the physical level. And like you said, even if it did, everyone has to decide where to go from there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2564557 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 15:16:52 +0000 magnoliamama42 2564557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rescuemom10: Something kind of similar happened to my friend's sister. She and her husband seemed like they were fine - they have money, they seemed happy, had some tough times but who doesn't?</p> <p>Then she found out while he was on a "work" trip that he was actually vacationing in MEXICO with a woman he'd been having an affair with for MONTHS.</p> <p>We were all SURE it was over. While he was still out of the country, her family was scrambling to organize child care, meals, emotional support for all the shit they knew was about to go down.</p> <p>And ... NOPE. They're still together. And her sister acts like it never happened and prefers to not discuss it with her family.</p> <p>I'm not judging her. They've got three kids, and you never really know what's going on in a marriage - maybe they're working on it.</p> <p>All that is to say - be prepared for the fact that she may not leave him, and will need your non-judgmental support no matter which path she chooses. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2564299 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 10:07:22 +0000 regberadaisy 2564299@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rescuemom10: is there anyway you could swing a trip to visit her? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2564259 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 09:42:15 +0000 Rescuemom10 2564259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks all for the advice.<br /> Its hard and I feel terrible. My heart breaks for her and now I just feel bad that we haven't talked as much since she moved away. She works so much, and told me that hasn't made new friends. Is not living near family. It kills me she isn't closer, and I hate how "alone" she sounds.<br /> Last time we talked all sounded well, but busy. Now she has broke down and told me how its really been since they moved. She works crazy hours, usually opposite shifts as her husband. She said she has felt a change in the marriage. But didn't expect it to be to this degree.<br /> I feel so helpless and I just want to be there for her. Ugh </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2564163 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 06:05:16 +0000 Adira 2564163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: I agree with you. I have a few friends that I've been best friends with and one of them lives 3000 miles away and we rarely speak now, but if this happened to me and she found out about it, I'd 100% want to hear from her and feel supported by her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2564087 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 20:14:48 +0000 LCTBQE 2564087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>what a nightmare, I'm so sorry for her and the kids. he sounds like a strategic, habitual liar/cheater. agree with some of the other PP's to make it clear that you're there for her, but follow her lead. good for the other woman for aggressively exposing him, but too bad she had to involve a third party to do it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2564066 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 19:24:43 +0000 regberadaisy 2564066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I have to respectfully, completely disagree with you. This poor woman's life has been turned completely upside down. Everything she has thought to be true about her husband, father of her children is a lie.<br /> She needs a true friend right now. @Rescuemom10: isn't a random acquaintance. They were best friends and life got the best of them. It happens. To find out something like this And then not to follow up and see how she is doing is being a bad friend, IMO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2564056 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 18:56:35 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2564056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Damn! I would be mortified that anyone IRL would know that much info about a horrible situation. At this point I would stay out of it. You know too much already and your friend may or may not be comfortable with all that you know. Take her lead on discussing it further, but only as a listening ear. Don't increase calls to her because that just comes off nosey and like you want to feed off the drama </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2563972 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 15:55:24 +0000 NorthStar 2563972@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rescuemom10: OMG. I feel so bad for her and the fact that he isn't around for her to address this with him makes it so much worse. Being in limbo..ugh </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2563956 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 15:18:50 +0000 youboots 2563956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Woah mind blown. I'm sorry you are in the middle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2563937 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 14:53:41 +0000 Rescuemom10 2563937@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Yes, it eventually all came out that night. After my friend checked her "other" folder on FB she actually saw a msg from another women as well. All it said was "are you married" she tried to contact that person to see why she asked but the gal just responded never mind and said no more. </p> <p>Then, the gal who contacted me had screen shots of a lot of things. She sent them to my friend. She new details about her husband (his tattoos and what and where they were. He had sent pics) even about the trip he was on, getting pulled over for a speeding ticket etc...<br /> Then as it was all going down he was begging this gal to stop talking to his wife (my friend) the gal actually recorded the conversation and sent the audio recordings to my friend. </p> <p>He is with family right now so they haven't been able to have a good solid talk about it. But he did admit he messed up. But it hasn't gone into detail. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2563901 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 14:19:54 +0000 looch 2563901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Are you certain it's true, has your friend confronted her husband? Something seems off but I can't quite put my finger on it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2563898 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 14:17:04 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2563898@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thats terrible but glad the "other woman" did the right thing to cut things off and try to contact you and the wife. </p> <p>Yea Tinder is meant to be a hook up thing but I think its also used to easily see options. My sister has found a few legitimate dates from there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2563847 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 13:16:22 +0000 thepicklemonster 2563847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That is crazy! I can't believe she contacted you. What a horrible position to be in.</p> <p>Tinder started as a pure hookup app but I actually know many people who met their spouse or serious SO on it. Nobody's husband should ever be on Tinder!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2563831 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 13:00:17 +0000 LuLu Mom 2563831@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is so sad, but you are being a good friend and she will need you through all of this. </p> <p>Tinder is the "new" thing, I have a divorced friend who meets guys on it, definitely comes a cross as a hookup app, but she's actually dated a couple guys from there too. If I found Tinder on my DH's phone I would be livid and it would automatically equate cheating to me, there is no reason a married man should have this app on his phone what so ever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2563820 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 12:44:28 +0000 nana87 2563820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>oh how sad for your friend to be blind-sided like that!</p> <p>Tinder is like the definition of casual, "meat-market" online dating apps for hook ups. One of my best friends is single and a group of us played with her tinder app during a drunken bachelorette party a few years ago, swiping guys for her, lol. Very stupid and shallow! it shows you pictures of people nearby (using location services) and if you're interested you swipe in one direction, and if you're not, you swipe in another, and if the person you've said you're interested in also swipes for you, it connects you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2563791 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 12:00:40 +0000 FaithFertility 2563791@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Awful!!!!!<br /> I'd continue to call your friend and check in on her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2563786 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 11:50:50 +0000 Rescuemom10 2563786@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: YES! Little packages in the mail. Love it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2563784 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 11:48:54 +0000 regberadaisy 2563784@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh what a two timing cheating b@stard! Good for that woman for trying so hard to tell your friend.<br /> Agree. With continually reaching out, maybe sending small pick me ups via mail?</p> <p>Looks like Tinder is for "casual" hookups?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2563779 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 11:45:23 +0000 NorthStar 2563779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I give major props to the woman who contacted you and that by some chance luck, she picked a good person to contact. my goodness..I feel horrible for your friend. I would just keep checking in with her and offering your support. It's so hard when they are not closeby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2563776 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 11:39:58 +0000 snowjewelz 2563776@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Good for that woman, I guess, to do something about her suspicions and come forward with info. I hope she dumped his sorry butt?! </p> <p>I'd maybe try to set up calls with her regularly to check in on her, to let her vent/cry, brainstorm with her, etc? </p> <p>How awful :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2563775 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 11:34:59 +0000 Rescuemom10 2563775@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: Ohhhhh we are pretty far away. As in a few states.<br /> I am not sure how in the world out of all people she picked to contact me.<br /> So apparently after they had been talking and texting she found him on FB. Were it still has him listed as "Married". He told her its for family. That they haven't told them they are divorcing yet. Well once she friend requested him she went back on his timeline and started seeing stuff that didn't add up (She already was suspecting it sounds).</p> <p>But yeah, she initially just asked me to pass along the msg asking me to tell my friend to check her inbox. She had msgd my friend but they aren't friends so it went to the "other" folder. </p> <p>Also- found out much later through all the talking (my friend told me this) the women he was talking to pursued finding out if he was married and contacting her BECAUSE she was previously married and her ex cheated on her. So once she suspected she didn't want to be "that women" and wanted the "wife" to know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2563772 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 11:27:53 +0000 regberadaisy 2563772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>😮 why did this woman contact you?! How far away does she (your friend) live? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-horrible-situation#post-2563770 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 11:23:58 +0000 Rescuemom10 2563770@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I have been debating seeking advice about this. But its eating me up and I am really trying to be a supportive friend and don't fully know how to be in this situation. Struggling to find the words. </p> <p>I will try to make this long story short.<br /> Friday evening I received a random msg on FB from someone (a women) I didn't know. I accepted it because it said we had a mutual friend. My best friends Husband.<br /> Well, life got busy, she moved away, we don't talk often. But its still a very close friend. I met her when we both were in the Military. I am her oldest sons Godmother. We spent every Holiday together. Were in each others wedding....ect...</p> <p>Any who, this gal start talking to me and basically comes out to say she has been "talking" to my friends husband and they were going to meet to start dating but she started to catch things here and there and suspected he was still married (apparently he claimed he was in the process of divorcing) </p> <p>I had to call her. It was terrible. I felt sick. I was shaking. I didn't know what to say. 4.5 hrs of being on and off the phone it was all unwinding. I was watching my best friends world and marriage fall apart. Now her husband had just gone on a trip with all the kids and to families. She stayed behind because she had work.<br /> She said its been a rough year but she didn't suspect THIS. </p> <p>My heart is so broken. I thought her husband was the most amazing guy for her. He loved her so deeply and was not shy to let the whole world know how much he adored her. I never, EVER imagined him capable of this.<br /> My heart just hurts for her.<br /> What can I say? What can I DO from far away?</p> <p>*also- neither of us have heard of this app (is that a sign we are getting old?) but apparently she met him on Tinder?!?!<br /> Has anyone heard of it? Is it like a "hook up" app or something. </p>