https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 25 Apr 2026 13:23:08 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth/page/2#post-1718800 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 13:26:35 +0000 LovelyPlum 1718800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: I loved this. Thank you! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth/page/2#post-1718759 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 13:12:14 +0000 Boheme 1718759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so happy that this resonated with others! It definitely gave me some healing perspective. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth/page/2#post-1718752 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 13:10:44 +0000 heartonastring 1718752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: And yes to this! I ended up with a csection after labour stalled at 9 cm while on way over-the-max pitocin, fetal heart rate decels and maternal fever. So csection it was. And it was SO easy. Way easier than the damn Foley catheter insertion which took four extremely painful attempts and left me feeling very traumatized. And the recovery was easy as well - I delivered at 5 a.m. and was up and walking around that afternoon. I had no pain during the recovery and felt totally normal by day three. I honestly thought csections were the devil...and then I had one and realized they could actually be pretty nice! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1718735 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 13:06:08 +0000 heartonastring 1718735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: Thanks for posting this. I am 14 months postpartum, to the day, and I still cried reading this, because I understand that feeling of failure and I wish so hard all the time that I could have a do-over. But I'm pretty sure if I did, the outcome would be the same. </p> <p>I am grateful for modern medicine and grateful for the csection that brought K into the world. But I am sad that I didn't get to - and may never get to - experience that thing that my body is *supposed* to know how to do. And maybe I would be better off if I hadn't read (and worshipped at the feet of) Ina May and if I hadn't read every crunchy, natural home birth/water birth/ birthgasm bullshit story out there. </p> <p>I was CERTAIN that I was mentally and physically strong enough to do it. But then when my baby was still cooking at 42 weeks and my body was showing no signs of going into labour I finally gave in and yeah, I feel like I failed somehow. But this helped a little. So thank you :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1718544 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 12:19:01 +0000 kml636 1718544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I have one, my first labor was not so bad, I am lucky I guess! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717729 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 08:26:53 +0000 pmrlady 1717729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: Thank you for the article. I am pregnant for the first time now and am very anxious about the birthing experience. This reminded me of another article I saw very recently that has a similar point and talks about a new show coming out on TV about women going to the wilderness to give birth naturally: </p> <p><a href="http://theweek.com/article/index/263443/the-cult-of-natural-childbirth-has-gone-too-far" rel="nofollow">http://theweek.com/article/index/263443/the-cult-of-natural-childbirth-has-gone-too-far</a></p> <p>One of the quotes I liked from this article:<br /> "As extreme as it may sound, the show is, believe it or not, a natural extension of a culture that has turned labor into a defining moment in women's lives, their first chance to prove just how devoted a mother they truly are. The criteria for measuring this devotion are based on how little medical intervention they use during labor, meaning the ultimate mama, the sort who might appear in this new show, is one who relies only on her breath, the shade of a couple of pine trees, and a kiddie pool on top of a bed of leaves to get her baby out in the most natural method imaginable. On the losing end of the spectrum, we'd see a C-section mother, who broke every alternative birthing commandment imaginable by electing to undergo the procedure. According to this dubious line of thinking, she will pay for that surgery with a less attached, less bacterially diverse baby." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717629 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 07:38:26 +0000 Anagram 1717629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kml636: oh no--do you have children? I didn't post it to scare anyone who hasn't had birth yet. Personally, I had a fairly easy delivery. I only pushed for about 20 minutes, I had an epidural (was always planning on getting one) which managed the pain but wasn't too strong (I could still move one leg completely). And then I had a 2nd degree tear that I didn't even know had happened until the doctor told me. I got stitches and felt fine/back to normal within 1-2 weeks. No lasting issues.</p> <p>But I know a *lot* of people here on HB had to push much longer and had severe 3rd degree tears, so I thought it was helpful to post---it is something that people don't talk about. The tears, the recovery, the possible postpartum issues with healing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717620 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 07:31:45 +0000 edelweiss 1717620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>thanks for sharing. this is tangential, but i think the next step is to support and normalize births where women exercise their choice to say, have an epidural, from the get go. while interventions that could unnecessarily harm the baby or mother should be avoided, i feel like epidurals/induction/etc. are still in the camp of being easier to "justify" when things are going very wrong, as was happening with the author of that post. but there are many of us who didn't stick it out until hell or high water, and chose an epidural 5 minutes into labor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717608 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 07:22:02 +0000 MamaBehr 1717608@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like people forget that women use to DIE in labor. I would have. A natural birth would be great, but it can't be done by everyone. Are medical interventions too much, maybe sometimes. But when push comes to shove, birth is dangerous and women use to die because of it. Babies use to die (had I miraculously made it out of my first birth alive, my third baby wouldn't have with two knots in his cord). </p> <p>That being said, I totally relate to the feeling of failure (I even had to have a c-section three times). Good article :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717604 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 07:15:19 +0000 MapleMoose 1717604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you for sharing. My body never started labor naturally and my baby was in distress. Don't want to think what would have happened if I hadn't had medical intervention at my induction. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717587 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 06:54:35 +0000 kml636 1717587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: omg... Just reading this... sooo scary! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717584 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 06:51:41 +0000 Cherrybee 1717584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is a great article, thanks for sharing. </p> <p>@grizz: Sending you big hugs, lady. :heart: </p> <p>I think I am finally getting to a place where I am at peace with what happened 11 months ago. I never felt like a failure for giving birth in a hospital etc - I guess I gave up any idea that I could birth "naturally" when I was diagnosed with GD and told I would need to be induced. But my experience was nothing like the beautiful, emotional, life-affirming experience I fully believed it would be. It was excruciatingly painful, I was completely terrified and all control was taken from me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717575 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 06:40:32 +0000 Adira 1717575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Love this article so much!!! &lt;3 &lt;3 &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717555 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 06:07:05 +0000 Dandelion 1717555@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes x1000</p> <p>I was in the natural labor camp until I lost my baby during it. Now I'm so grateful dor the medical community that helped me bring home a healthy baby boy.</p> <p>There is no reason to be ashamed of modern medicine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717535 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 05:25:55 +0000 Anagram 1717535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>great article. =) This one was also in the comments and I wanted to share it in case others missed it. <a href="http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/10/24/an-unspoken-risk-of-vaginal-birth/?_php=true&#038;_type=blogs&#038;_php=true&#038;_type=blogs&#038;_php=true&#038;_type=blogs&#038;_r=3" rel="nofollow">http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/10/24/an-unspoken-risk-of-vaginal-birth/?_php=true&#038;_type=blogs&#038;_php=true&#038;_type=blogs&#038;_php=true&#038;_type=blogs&#038;_r=3</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717477 Mon, 23 Jun 2014 23:58:22 +0000 keiki_mama 1717477@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you for sharing this :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717472 Mon, 23 Jun 2014 23:42:13 +0000 ScarletBegonia 1717472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I loved this. I was wishy washy on a natural birth, even though I was booked in at a midwife-only birth centre. Because I never committed myself fully to going au natural, I got a lot of nasty comments from the midwives and from friends that had done it before. As in, you have to be fully committed in order for it to work, you don't really want this, don't you want what's best for you and your baby, etc. In the end, I needed a transfer to hospital, my babes gigantic noggin got stuck, I got an epidural at 10cm dilated after over an hr of pushing (could REALLY relate to the author's description of getting an epidural during transition - next time around I will be getting an epidural the minute I set foot in the hospital), and had a relatively uncomplicated forceps delivery, a small episiotomy and a really easy recovery. I was thrilled with my birth experience after the fact, but people still judged. I'm trying not to let others spoil my experience, but it is so hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717317 Mon, 23 Jun 2014 20:10:08 +0000 lilteacherbee 1717317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. love this. I had a scheduled c-section and I absolutely do not regret a thing. I hate that I feel I need to explain WHY to some people because "natural" would have been a better choice in their eyes. My baby was so stuck that he had to be vacuumed out during the c-section and it took close to 10 minutes between opening up my uterus and him being born. My doctor told me that he was almost positive it would have been an emergency c-section if I had tried vaginally. I have a feeling I would have been greatly traumatized and had a worse time healing had I attempted a vaginal delivery. Interventions exist for a reason. I know some women feel like a failure for having a c-section and I wish they didn't, but I can understand why some would, unfortunately :( </p> <p>@ShootingStar: :heart: completely agree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717306 Mon, 23 Jun 2014 20:04:32 +0000 Raindrop 1717306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is great. I didn't feel like I was a failure for giving birth at a hospital but I know a lot of close friends that feel terrible about having c-sections, which breaks my heart. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717296 Mon, 23 Jun 2014 19:57:00 +0000 wonderstruck 1717296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: That makes sense - I went and read more of your back story on other thread and oh my gosh, your experience sounds awful. So many hugs. I would feel the same way about #2 if I had experienced that kind of hell. There are some things I know I'll do differently next time (eff natural birth next time, I want the epi way sooner!) but having the people delivering your baby treat you that way is just horrible. You absolutely did not fail, but it sounds like they made it a much more stressful experience than it needed to be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717270 Mon, 23 Jun 2014 19:40:37 +0000 kml636 1717270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love this. If you loved your natural birth and everything went perfectly, that's awesome! But, even my natural childbirth class teacher said nature only gets it right about 85% of the time... Right now I'm trying to turn a breech baby and trying to cope with maybe having a c section. I am trying to focus on the end result of a healthy baby rather than all the feelings of failure!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717222 Mon, 23 Jun 2014 18:42:38 +0000 MrsMccarthy 1717222@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Natural birth is a beautiful wonderful thing but there are absolutely times when it just doesn't work out. In my case my body didn't want to go into labor on its own even though my fluid was low and my placenta was beginning to calcify. I couldn't progress to dialate until I received my epidural. I would never want anyone to assume that they need these interventions if it doesn't feel right to them or be pressured by their doctor out of lawsuit concerns instead of concerns for the health of the mother but I also really hate how women are shamed into guilt if they end up feeling like the best way to go is with an intervention. I myself was very naive about birth until I experienced it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717203 Mon, 23 Jun 2014 18:29:25 +0000 artsyfartsy 1717203@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you. I have peace with my birth even though I ended up with a c section, mostly because I feel confident a traumatic experience was on the horizon and I threw my hands up when I saw it coming and asked for a c section even though I wanted a vaginal birth more than anything. </p> <p>But my body never dilated on its own. After wanting so badly to have a natural birth and show all the skeptics that I could birth this baby naturally I never progressed. I accepted the induction and my body dilated but so so slowly. 4cm in 14 hours ON pitocin. I opted for a c section versus a long painful journey that would most likely end in c section. I'm proud of that, but I still can't help but feel like I failed. </p> <p>I was open to the idea when I made my birth plan that I could end up with a C so that helped, but always in the back of my mind I knew how my birth would go and I didn't happen at all like I thought. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717174 Mon, 23 Jun 2014 18:09:04 +0000 coopsmama 1717174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: Thank you for posting this! This was exactly what I needed to read before the birth of little girl - sitting here at 38 weeks and a day and absolutely not sure what to expect of birth after last time but this was healing.</p> <p>I have never felt so invalidated in my life then when the first thing my then home birth midwife told me was, after a hospital transfer, that "next time I'd be able to have a natural childbirth." As if somehow the fact that I'd vaginally delivered my 9lb, 3oz son safely into this world at the hospital with an epidural (after a 36 hour natural, hellish experience) was somehow not up to snuff. Or when my mother-in-law told people I only needed the transfer because I "hadn't endured enough" and "hadn't prepared enough for labor in advance." </p> <p>I have so many feelings regarding this article that I could type but I won't. But it is giving me the peace of mind to just RELAX with baby girl. I *know* I can go naturally a long time - I've been there, and done that. But if she's just not an ideal position or things are taking forever to progress or whatEVER -- it's my birth! I'm far more interested in her safety and my well being than I am in what a few people think this go around, and reading this is making me realize that my birth story -- whatever it might entail -- will be something to be shared with only my husband and a few close family members and friends. (And HB, of course. :wink: ) Good riddance to the rest of them. Good riddance to expectations. (Including my own. I'm going in with none!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717166 Mon, 23 Jun 2014 18:02:36 +0000 jhd 1717166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you for sharing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717155 Mon, 23 Jun 2014 17:56:08 +0000 swedishfish 1717155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717149 Mon, 23 Jun 2014 17:52:48 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 1717149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: due to really bad tearing and lots of damage, the doctors have recommended a c section next time. Thanks for sharing that. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717146 Mon, 23 Jun 2014 17:48:24 +0000 ShootingStar 1717146@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A lot of my birth experience was very similar to that woman's. I ended up with a c-section because my baby wouldn't descend enough to dilate me. For days contractions would start and eventually stop. I never dilated past 4 cm, and when they took the baby out of me he was so stuck they were literally jumping on my chest trying to pry him out.</p> <p>But you know what? The LEAST traumatic thing about my birth experience was the c-section. And I wish more women could know that. My recovery wasn't bad at all, I was just very sore the first day and in some pain and after that every day was better. I wish more women could know that a c-section isn't a failure. It isn't robbing you of a birth experience. It's a wonderful gift to be able to birth a healthy child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717107 Mon, 23 Jun 2014 17:06:36 +0000 Mae 1717107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I loved this! </p> <p>I didn't really feel like a failure after my LO's birth-- because I think I realized immediately that the interventions I needed I did actually NEED... but I have felt kind of weird telling people about my birth afterwards. I was that girl that told everyone I was going to a midwife to have a natural birth in a laboring tub and I was so confident I could do it!</p> <p>And the same thing happened to me as happened to the woman in the article. I planned to wait until 42 weeks (as long as my midwife practice allows) and ended up getting induced at 41+1 after my midwife telling me it was the only safe option for me at that point. I labored 17 hours, had meconium in my fluid, opted for an epidural when I had back labor every 2 minutes for 1+ min at only 2cm dilated, and ended up with a c-section when the baby was too stuck to come out (also sunny side up and crooked). </p> <p>I wish that the birth had been easier and I'm sad that it wasn't, but I don't feel that I failed. I feel that I'm lucky I was pregnant now when I was able to have all these interventions to get my daughter out safely. If it was 100 years ago, or even 50 years ago-- one or both of us may not have made it. </p> <p>But I totally agree with the article that all births should be normalized. When I tell people I had a c-section I still feel the need to explain all the WHY so they realize that it was really necessary and I was not just a sheep to an overeager medical profession looking to cut. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-rebuttal-to-articles-about-natural-birth#post-1717069 Mon, 23 Jun 2014 16:41:56 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 1717069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really liked that! Thanks for sharing. </p>