https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 15:03:26 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-thursday-rant#post-2178033 Thu, 14 May 2015 10:59:16 +0000 LulaBee 2178033@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: You're right, I do need to be more understanding. It's hard for me, given that this sort of thing happens all the time (the last thing was us taking out a loan for him to finish school, which he didn't do, and now we are still paying the loan). I'm not sure if there is a plan for him to pay us back, I don't know how he would come up with the extra money to do so. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-thursday-rant#post-2177971 Thu, 14 May 2015 10:34:29 +0000 kiddosc 2177971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the bigger issue is that he didn't discuss it with and come to a mutual decision, not so much that he's helping out his son. $400/wk is a lot of money for someone to pay, especially someone who was in the position to owe $2000 in back rent in the first place. And if you can picture yourself 20 years down the road, would you really say no to your own children if you were able to help? </p> <p>I think you need to have a discussion with your DH about how these decisions are made and that you both need to compromise. You probably need to be more understanding about helping your step son, and he probably needs to practice a little more "tough love." Is there a plan for the son to pay back some/all of this money? On a schedule that's more doable than $400/wk? That would be part of my compromise in this situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-thursday-rant#post-2177914 Thu, 14 May 2015 10:06:14 +0000 Keybee 2177914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry! It sounds like a really rough patch. Things will get better soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-thursday-rant#post-2177901 Thu, 14 May 2015 10:00:18 +0000 avivoca 2177901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LulaBee: We only have one car, so I can't drive part way and bike the rest without being really late to work. I would be leaving earlier. He's worried about one particular road, but I'd only be on it for 3/4 of a mile before being on a bike path. The rest of the route is either on residential streets or shared roads that have dedicated bike lanes/paths. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-thursday-rant#post-2177818 Thu, 14 May 2015 09:27:32 +0000 LulaBee 2177818@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: It's a house that he owned before we met, so I never had any stock in it (although when it wasn't rented out, the mortgage came out of our joint account). </p> <p>We have helped his son out so much in the past, and it just feels like he never learns the lesson. DH pointed out that occasionally our parents help us out, and yes they do, but they can afford to and it's never to the tune of $400/week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-thursday-rant#post-2177811 Thu, 14 May 2015 09:25:43 +0000 LulaBee 2177811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@avivoca: I wouldn't like it if someone told me I couldn't do something- that would make me want to do it more! Must be the 3 year old in me. :silly: </p> <p>Is it for safety reasons? Maybe you could drive part of the way and ride the rest? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-thursday-rant#post-2177809 Thu, 14 May 2015 09:24:58 +0000 Truth Bombs 2177809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is the rental property jointly owned? If so, he doesn't really get to decide what to do with the money with out your agreement. His stepson is perfectly old enough to figure out his own finances. It's one thing if you all easily have the resources to help him, but if you are carrying consumer debt that needs to be your number one financial priority. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-thursday-rant#post-2177801 Thu, 14 May 2015 09:22:19 +0000 avivoca 2177801@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm really sorry. It's good that your husband wants to help his son, but you should have had a say in where the money went. I hope you are able to put your irritation aside and enjoy your vacation. And I also hope that your mom is okay.</p> <p>Chin up. Things will be okay. </p> <p>This makes my Thursday anger seem kind of petty. T and I got in to a tiff this morning because I wanted to bike to work tomorrow and he doesn't want me to. It comes from a good place, he worries about me, but it felt so much like a parent telling a child what they can and cannot do that it really upset and hurt me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-thursday-rant#post-2177786 Thu, 14 May 2015 09:16:45 +0000 LulaBee 2177786@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sure my pregnancy hormones are making everything worse, but here goes.</p> <p>DH and I are fighting over money. Long story short, we are selling a rental property and will make about $5k. Were planning on using it to pay off cc debt. My stepson (23) owes $2k in back rent, landlord is making him pay $400 a week until paid off. DH has decided to help his son, I didn't get a say in it (I understand, it's his kid, I have no idea what that's like as our DD is only 2.5). He says it's our money but doesn't treat it as such. </p> <p>We are supposed to go on vacation Saturday to in-laws condo, me, DH, DD and stepson. I don't want to go. I'm just irritated at the both of them. </p> <p>My dad just texted to say my mom is depressed, he doesn't know what to do, she's gone to a state park out of town and doesn't know if she will be back. He said not to say anything to her. </p> <p>I'm currently 10 weeks pregnant with what I hope to be my rainbow baby after a miscarriage and stillbirth last year. I really hate to be whiny, but man, I'm just not in a good place. Oh, and I had too much caffeine today and am feeling jittery too. </p> <p>Rant over. Just sometimes want to run away from it all. And take DD with me. </p>