https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 23:19:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1785012 Mon, 28 Jul 2014 11:38:59 +0000 Dandelion 1785012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chesamine: yeah, it was a pain having him miss so much school that year. I wish he had gotten through it before that year! First grade was so much better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1785010 Mon, 28 Jul 2014 11:37:37 +0000 chesamine 1785010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsMccarthy: Yeah I keep thinking that too that as a SAHM if I get sick, then definitely I'd be to blame if LO gets sick. I guess it's difficult when he gets sick because of somebody else. I feel like maybe I didn't protect him enough. But maybe if it was the other way around I'd feel the same guilt if it was because of me. It's hard but I'm hoping for the best over all. Thank you for the kind words. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1785006 Mon, 28 Jul 2014 11:35:47 +0000 chesamine 1785006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Dandelion: Well hopefully when it's time for LO to go to school, he won't get as sick considering how much he's gotten sick so far. Good luck to you and I'm hoping your LO will build his immunity for the future. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1776947 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 17:55:38 +0000 MrsMccarthy 1776947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Babies get sick when you stay home too! Sometimes you're the one who gets them sick! I'm sorry your baby has croup but don't be blaming yourself. You are working hard to get the medicine and medical care baby needs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1776944 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 17:55:11 +0000 Dandelion 1776944@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a SAHM, and while D didn't get sick for most of his early years, the year he went to kindergarten he got sick sooo much. So, it still happens eventually. : </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1776938 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 17:50:33 +0000 MsMamaBear 1776938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chesamine: You will! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775764 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 11:02:23 +0000 chesamine 1775764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LuLu Mom: Yeah...I guess I can see that happening. I envy other working moms who seem to really have things together. Super moms! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775739 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 10:45:38 +0000 LuLu Mom 1775739@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chesamine: Yeah that would be very nice. Even if just a couple days a week, however I know that I would get nothing done with LO at home with me, I would still have to send her to daycare it think. I worked from home due to a snow storm when she was about 5 months old, and it was a disaster besides naptime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775732 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 10:42:04 +0000 chesamine 1775732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: No problem :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775726 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 10:39:14 +0000 lizzywiz 1775726@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chesamine: oops- sorry for misunderstanding about the daycare :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775672 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 10:19:35 +0000 chesamine 1775672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LuLu Mom: It's a very tough decision but like you, I know that I have a financial responsibility to provide for my family. And I've been on the hunt for a place/company/organization that would allow me to work from home or telecommute when I need to; but not always. I know of so many people that are able to do it so I know those places exist. It's a matter of finding them and hoping they have a vacancy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775665 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 10:16:49 +0000 chesamine 1775665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alivoo01: Yeah. I keep hearing, "Kids will be sick" and I know it's true. I'm just in denial. I know it. And it's so true that it's worse for us when they're sick coz like you're DS, my LO still kept smiling his cheesy smile even while we were at the ER. Silly boy.</p> <p>I share your hopefulness that it is really building their immune system for the future. My husband told me that he was sick often as a child and now as an adult he's barely sick or if he was, it's just a little and doesn't really knock him off his butt. He has occasionally but struck with a bug that did in fact knock him off his butt and that was just 2, maybe 3 times, since dating him and it's been 6-7 years long. We momma's only wish for the best for these little kiddos. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775651 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 10:10:40 +0000 chesamine 1775651@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: That sucks that they have this preconceived notion about daycares. I mean our LO doesn't go to daycare. My mother in law just happens to always get sick, so I suppose one-on-one contact almost always means that LO will get sick too. We did not encounter those questions at the ER thankfully. They did ask us who cares for LO and whether he's been around somebody sick recently. But I do wish those folks at that ER where you went to would just make an evidence-based judgement instead of making a generalization. *sigh* I'm with you there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775636 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 10:05:50 +0000 chesamine 1775636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Wow it sounds like you guys went through something really rough and I'm sorry you guys had to go through that. But I agree that little moments like that, like when my son just smiles back at me with the cutest cheesy smile makes all bad things go away. I'm hoping for the best for your LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775512 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 09:08:50 +0000 LuLu Mom 1775512@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the guilt comes and goes, but I tell myself that right now the best thing I can do for my family is to help provide financially. I would love to stay home (at least parttime) but financially it is best for me to continue working. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775383 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 08:04:08 +0000 Alivoo01 1775383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS started daycare in the fall when he was 3 months old. The first month he went, he caught RSV and was constantly sick thereafter. He might get a week or two of no sickness, but runny nose and drainage cough always lingered around. So I can totally commiserate on the guilt and pain of having a sick child. It's the middle of summer now, and he still has the occasional runny nose, but seems better.</p> <p>I just hope what they say is true about building up their immune system now for the the future. I would hate for him to be sick this often and it actually prevents his body from preventing it in the future. Just know that it's normal for kids to be sick, and sadly, it's us mommies that feel worse than the kiddo. DS sometimes doesn't even display the affects of being sick in his behavior. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775378 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 08:00:16 +0000 lizzywiz 1775378@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chesamine: I don't know about you, but it doesn't help that every time my LO had to go to the hospital, one of the first questions they asked was, "Does she got to daycare?' like that explained everything - cue big time mama guilt!<br /> I actually feel like that is a huge generalization re: daycare kiddos and prevented us from getting an accurate diagnosis of her real health issues.<br /> And it doesn't make sense. I mean, have you seen the size of some of those mega churches? How is going to the nursery there on Sundays different than a daycare? But when those kids go to the ER and they say they are NOT daycare kids, then suddenly their illness is more unusual and worthy of further investigation?<br /> Anyway, sorry for the random gripe. You hang in there, mama, you are doing a great job! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775300 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 07:00:02 +0000 looch 1775300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is 3 and a half, and while I've only been a working mom since he was 2, we did go through a fairly rough patch when he first started day care...I feel like we were best friends with the pediatrician, in fact, he used to text me about medication adjustments that were required for treating my son's breathing issues/pre-asthma. Couple that with a bunch of ear infections that led to an antiboitic allergy discovery, to say I was feeling stressed and wracked with guilt is an understatement. But my son has thrived with other children and is leaps and bounds better for it. Just last night, as we walked up to the playground after dinner, he announced "Hello Everyone!" and waved. Moments like this make up for it. I am here if you need to chat some more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775270 Wed, 23 Jul 2014 06:03:56 +0000 Adira 1775270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chesamine: haha, nice name choice! :D </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775107 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 21:42:50 +0000 chesamine 1775107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: I wish there was a place where it's not a cesspool of germs. But I know I can't keep LO indoors all the time. That would make for an anti-social kid which I don't want him to be. Thanks for the encouragement! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775105 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 21:40:47 +0000 chesamine 1775105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: Funny coincidence, my LO is also Xander, well at least his middle name is :) I'm so glad your Xander is happy at daycare. I'm hoping for the best for our Xanders. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775101 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 21:39:00 +0000 chesamine 1775101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@esther: Croup is terrible and I'm sorry to hear you had to take your LO twice. I wish these little babies didn't hve to get sick at all. It's so hard to watch their fragile bodies go through it. But we'll both hang in there :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775097 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 21:37:27 +0000 chesamine 1775097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Luckily LO's not in daycare (yet). I'm dreading the day he has to go there. For now he's with the in laws. They take good care of him of course but can't control their illnesses. Mask can only go so far as covering the mouth. So when anybody there is sick, almost right away so is LO. I'm certainly ly hoping that this WILL build his immune system and make him tough growing up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775091 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 21:33:56 +0000 chesamine 1775091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pirouette: Yeah I did think that what if I was the one that got sick even being a sahm then he probably would have been sick too all the same. *sigh* Being a mama is tough no matter what. </p> <p>Thanks for the kind words :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775083 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 21:28:25 +0000 chesamine 1775083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsMamaBear: I'm certainly hoping to have the same outlook as you in the future and be able to say out loud "it's NOT me"! Thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775079 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 21:27:16 +0000 chesamine 1775079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lion: Thanks for the encouragement! We have been so lucky to have my mother in law care for LO instead of a day care. But because of her medical history she does get sick a lot and takes a long time to get well. We're hoping for the best in the future. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1775008 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 20:33:06 +0000 blackbird 1775008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Kids get sick from all kinds of places! If it's not daycare, it's target or Starbucks or a kiddie play gym. Every place is a cess pool. Do not beat yourself up </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1774921 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 19:39:03 +0000 Adira 1774921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aww honey, don't feel bad. All kids get sick at some time or another! Plus your child is going to have such a strong immune system after all this! Xander (16 months) was probably sick almost every week during his first year of daycare and we only recently have felt like we've gotten a break from the constant illness. BUT despite the fact he's been sick all the time, he's also been incredibly happy and loves it at daycare, so I know it's all worth it!</p> <p>Good luck! Please try not to let the guilt get to you! &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1774884 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 19:16:02 +0000 esther 1774884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i am a sahm and i've taken my son to the er for croup... twice. please don't beat yourself up, kids get sick no matter what. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/a-working-mothers-guilt#post-1774847 Tue, 22 Jul 2014 18:42:11 +0000 Anagram 1774847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chesamine: daycare illnesses are the worst. I had no idea how bad it is when babies first start in daycare until my LO started at 6 months old last January and was ill almost continuously until the beginning of May. Then she had a 2 week break and then was sick again until I got out of school for summer break (I work in a school). That's almost 5 straight months of back-to-back illness. We had RSV, several pretty severe colds that came with a chesty cough, Coxsackie, and then a fun "unexplained viral fever" for a weekend, too. </p> <p>And now that I'm out for summer break, LO hasn't been sick once and is sleeping so much better. So I feel tons of guilt--tons---because now I know for sure it was daycare making her sick nonstop and I feel bad that I was working when we could make it work financially for me to stay home.</p> <p>BUT. I'm going back in September and we're going to see how it goes again. </p> <p>It is TOUGH. Hopefully, your LO will build up an immune system soon and will start feeling better. Hang in there. </p>