https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 21 May 2026 01:34:43 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2834221 Mon, 16 Jul 2018 12:34:09 +0000 maddyz 2834221@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FaithFertility: my 3.5-year-old also says "I was only kidding" thing to when I say no to things he wants to do. I understand where it's coming from but I want him to own what he says. "Kidding" doesn't change hurtful language or desires. He's using it in such a small way.. but still. I think he got it from Llama Llama TV show... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2834220 Mon, 16 Jul 2018 12:28:41 +0000 Ajsmommy 2834220@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD often says oh my god and I try to get her to say goodness or gosh, not really bc I don't like it but I know DH's family doesn't... however I am sure I say it and that's where she gets it from. </p> <p>DD thinks stupid and shut up are bad words. Which I am ok with however.... I tend to say stupid when frustrated ie: why can't I open you you stupid pickle jar.. dd would scold me :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2834189 Mon, 16 Jul 2018 11:22:33 +0000 snowjewelz 2834189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't curse at home and I agree things like stupid, shut up, hate, I would not like. I try to model at home but who knows what escapes my mouth! My 3.5 year old recently learned 'nasty' lol but mostly in regards to poop :meh: :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2834119 Mon, 16 Jul 2018 07:50:14 +0000 foodiebee 2834119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This conversation is fascinating. I had no idea "oh my god"<br /> and "what the heck" were considered taboo. It's good to know, because though I'm not offended by their usages, I do want to be respectful to those who are. AFM, I'd be far more concerned with my kid picking up racist, misogynistic, or demeaning language than something like this. </p> <p>This was interesting:<br /> Stanley Hauerwas, a religion professor at Duke Divinity School, takes a different slant. He has been known to liberally salt his everyday speech with profanities. Lingua Franca magazine once called him "a foul-mouthed theologian." He says that when he hears people say, "Oh my God," "it's a cry not of profanity or vulgarity. It usually has the grammar of a lament. You'd have to outlaw the Psalms if you wanted to do away with laments."<br /> <a href="https://www.chron.com/life/houston-belief/article/Oh-my-God-Is-it-pop-culture-or-blasphemy-1761991.php" rel="nofollow">https://www.chron.com/life/houston-belief/article/Oh-my-God-Is-it-pop-culture-or-blasphemy-1761991.php</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2834116 Mon, 16 Jul 2018 07:33:54 +0000 dc yoga bee 2834116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always say “Jesus Dh Name!” When he pisses me off or something. Now, my 3 year old DD says “Jesus Dh name!” Yeah, whoops. She just started saying bleh bleh bleh when we are trying to tell her not to do something. Like, “bleh bleh bleh now give me back my ball!” Yeah, not cool and it getting your way with that ‘tude! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2834112 Mon, 16 Jul 2018 07:14:06 +0000 Adira 2834112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p><a href="https://www.scarymommy.com/hell-yeah-swearing-makes-you-smarter-attractive-less-stressed/" rel="nofollow">https://www.scarymommy.com/hell-yeah-swearing-makes-you-smarter-attractive-less-stressed/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2834108 Mon, 16 Jul 2018 06:56:32 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2834108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son picked up Shit! in the moment and Fuck it! because he walked into my aunt’s room and a TV show was on and he heard it. He repeated the words a few times with the same excitement they were uttered. In neither case did I acknowledge what he said or try to censor it. These are just words at the moment. If he were to start using them in the correct context like something doesn’t go his way and he says Shit! like when I do then I would likely come up with a better alternative. I will say that instead of using phrases to express my dissappointment 90% of the time I will say “oh no, mommy” needs/ forget/ can’t/ hurt... and really share what’s going on. Do you think you could bite your tongue and formulate a sentence to explain/ express what’s happening and how you feel? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2834101 Sun, 15 Jul 2018 22:50:00 +0000 Hypatia 2834101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Eminthevalley: The difference between what the heck and what the hell is just slightly different spelling—they are expletives that are used exactly the same way. The same goes for crap, darn it, etc. Some people think the sanitized versione are totally fine, while other people feel that the difference is rather arbitrary and that the expressions sound similarly crude. I’ve heard parents say they’d rather teach their children to express surprise, incredulity, etc. with more descriptive and socially appropriate words instead of blanket expletives that don’t really convey that much meaning. </p> <p>I think it’s a totallly personal thing. And I really don’t think that parents should expect other parents to conform to their standard. I have some friends who have flat out told us not to mention the fact that we’re atheist, or mention stuff like cancer or death, or reference alcohol , or any number of things that they don’t want their kids exposed to (strangely enough, the parents are quite liberal on most things, but they have a “kids must be protected” mindset that we don’t share). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2834099 Sun, 15 Jul 2018 21:48:52 +0000 Eminthevalley 2834099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don’t understand what the heck is wrong with heck 😊. I guess this is getting into a question of values? Oh my god doesn’t bother me because I’m an atheist so that’s just not a thing. Obviously bad words are off limits and I don’t tolerate name calling, racist words or typical four letter words (f bomb etc). The fact that heck could be construed as bad truly boggles my mind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2834098 Sun, 15 Jul 2018 21:45:55 +0000 Eminthevalley 2834098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Dahlia: right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2834019 Sat, 14 Jul 2018 21:39:54 +0000 periwinklebee 2834019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It reminds me of the time my mom said, with a complete look of horror on her face, "Your grandmother has picked up some really dirty language in her old age - I don't know how to tell her that it really upsets me when she curses in my house." My brother and I were like "what did grandma say?" expecting something really bad. Turns out it was "shit". My brother and I looked at each other and said "that's not a curse word." :shocked: I've got to start watching my language, like pronto, or that might be LO's first word (heaven forbid around my mother :silly: ) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2834006 Sat, 14 Jul 2018 17:43:15 +0000 Mrsbells 2834006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Dahlia: in my mind any exclamation starting with "what the ..... " sounds coarse and inappropriate coming from a child. From a child it can easily sound like "what the hell". I told my daughter there are many other nicer ways to express that feeling of surprise, or disbelief etc and togther we came up with good alternatives that she uses instead </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2833996 Sat, 14 Jul 2018 14:24:49 +0000 pachamama 2833996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was raised where fart, shut up, hell were swear words. My favorite words are "fuck", "Christ" And "mother effer!". But not around my 2.5 year old.<br /> I also teach 10-12th grade and routinely say "what the heck", "crap", and "Jesus"! I need to tone it done. Now.<br /> But I do feel like today's society is way more accepting of coarse language. Students get away with soooooo much at my school (muttering "shit" under their breath or screaming "HEY BITCH" down the hall). I think language has relaxed. Not sure it's a good thing but I will let me kid say "fart", "crap" and "oh my God". As long as he's a good little polite human otherwise I don't worry too much. Maybe I should. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2833993 Sat, 14 Jul 2018 13:21:17 +0000 macintosh 2833993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m pleasantly surprised what my DS does abd does not pick up on with questionable words and phrases. He says holy moly (he made have gotten that from a teacher) and oh my god (definitely from me). I’m sure I’ve let some worse words fly but he hasn’t parroted them yet.</p> <p>He’s been obsessed with “bad drivers” ever since somebody cut me off on the highway and he heard me yell in fear. Today at target the cart guy was pushing a while line of carts and one almost rolled away. DS goes “he’s a bad driver!” :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2833991 Sat, 14 Jul 2018 13:09:43 +0000 lady baltimore 2833991@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd never imagine that "what the heck?" would be offensive. That's the sanitized version! It does bug me when my students (4th/5th graders) use just "what the . . ." and then trail off, as my mind fills it in to be very profane! :wink: </p> <p>My daughter first correctly used "goddammit!" when she was about 18 months old. Apparently that is my go to toe stubbing/task forgetting/food spilling curse, and she picked it up. She says "goddammit" or "dammit" occasionally, but I don't make a big deal about it, as I think that's more likely to make it stick in her mind. Right now, I am focused more on shaping her use of heteronormative and exclusionary language (e.g. labeling everyone/thing as the "mama", "dada", and "baby") than worrying about profanity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2833981 Sat, 14 Jul 2018 11:58:37 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2833981@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>None of that would bother me. I try to teach them what the words really mean in the context they're said if it comes up.. not just "never say that." I tell them what words are adult words the same as soda and alcohol are adult drinks. So far it has worked out. Edit- I don't bring them up unless it's asked or it slips out and then they repeat or ask. Like pp mentioned I am more concerned with what my kids mean and how they use their words not really just repeating phrases.. especially not something like "what the heck." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2833961 Sat, 14 Jul 2018 07:42:49 +0000 FaithFertility 2833961@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What the heck, wouldnt bother me<br /> Holy Moly and oh my gosh not too much either</p> <p>My daughter 3.5 started saying I'm only kidding when she changed her mind...for some reason that bothered me lol<br /> I told her to just say I changed my mind<br /> Stupid, shut up , ass etc... drive me crazy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2833958 Sat, 14 Jul 2018 07:18:34 +0000 Dahlia 2833958@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wait, what's wrong with "what the heck"? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2833950 Sat, 14 Jul 2018 06:59:21 +0000 erinbaderin 2833950@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: B says “what the what!” too and it makes me laugh every time. </p> <p>I’m not sure how to handle “hate”. I think it’s fine to hate things but not people but then...I hate Donald Trump and I hate Doug Ford, so why can’t he hate people? He’s in a phase where he says “I hate you!” to my husband and I when he gets really mad and so far I just say “well, I hope you’ll feel differently when you stop being angry” but I’m not sure that’s the best approach. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2833947 Sat, 14 Jul 2018 06:28:15 +0000 Foodnerd81 2833947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Meh. I have bigger fights to have than mild language like that. My older one went through a phase where she used the F word (ugh, totally my fault) and we did work through that and I’ve been way more careful. Lately she’s been saying hate, like, I hate those moths, right mommy? And now I’ve been telling her I shouldn’t use the word hate so much, we should both say “I don’t like those moths”. But generally I’m more worried about what she means- if she hates the moths, I’m not too upset, if she hates a girl in her class, we need to talk. </p> <p>She picked up “what the what?!” From school instead of what the heck. I guess that’s better? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2833939 Sat, 14 Jul 2018 01:06:49 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2833939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 2.5 year old says “what the heck?!” and it’s pretty much the cutest thing ever to us. We’re not religious at all, so it doesn’t bother me that my older son (almost 6) has picked up “oh my god” or “Jesus” although I’m working with him on toning that down before public school because our town in general is pretty conservative &amp; I don’t want him to get in trouble. (He went through a “shit” phase a while back and we worked through him saying that one.)<br /> Honestly, my expletives are horrible and I try to censor myself around the kids, but I don’t give much attention to “bad” words when my kids say them. We talk about how most people don’t like hearing those words from children &amp; how we have to be careful about words we use outside the home. I’m MUCH more concerned about their intentions when speaking, so name-calling (“stupid, dumb”), blaming (“you did/should have/your fault”), and cruelty (“you can’t play with me”, “you’re not my friend”) are all treated way more seriously. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2833936 Fri, 13 Jul 2018 23:59:32 +0000 Sams Mom 2833936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I use the f-bomb like punctuation 🙈 I don't think what the heck is bad, and would be more bothered by o my God or Jesus Christ. </p> <p>My mom is constantly reminding me that I need to tone down my language (I was raised where shut up and crap were off limits).</p> <p>Like obviously if a friend of mine has different rules about phrases and vocabulary I'd try to stick to it around it; but say something if you want something done, not just side eye </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2833933 Fri, 13 Jul 2018 23:00:23 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2833933@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsGeePerez: I think it’s hilarious and cute when my son says what the heck in just the perfect context. I agree that stupid or hate are way worse! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2833931 Fri, 13 Jul 2018 22:26:27 +0000 Mrsbells 2833931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not a fan of "what the heck" or "oh my God." My daughter started saying both of those and it bothered me so much we made it a rule that she couldn't say it anymore and she quickly stopped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2833930 Fri, 13 Jul 2018 22:25:33 +0000 MrsGeePerez 2833930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok - it sounds like for the majority it’s not a big deal, like I originally thought.</p> <p>He also says SHUT THE FRONT DOOR when he thinks something is unbelievable. Haha... what can I say, I’m a New Englander. At least I don’t swear like I used to! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2833925 Fri, 13 Jul 2018 22:02:51 +0000 Hypatia 2833925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A few weeks ago, I overheard my four year old playing under the table with the one year old. She was becoming increasingly frustrated with the baby, which culminated in her saying with perfect intonation, “Oh, for fuck’s sake, S!”</p> <p>I’ve tried to tone it down since then. I don’t curse everyday but evidently my reaction in a stressful situation has left its mark. </p> <p>I agree with the above about hurtful words. We also don’t allow the words boring/bored or now (when used in the context of, “I want it now!”). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2833924 Fri, 13 Jul 2018 21:44:30 +0000 lioneyes 2833924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>“Shut up”, “hate” (i “hate that shirt etc) and mean names like stupid etc are the big ones I have really tried to strike from my vocabulary. I curse. and it’s awful and I’m working on it, but for me, hurtful language is a bigger issue I don’t want to pass on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2833910 Fri, 13 Jul 2018 20:33:14 +0000 bhbee 2833910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To me it’s more just funny to hear a 3yo say what the heck - seems grown up! We live in a pretty religious area so oh my god is totally off limits to me, my older says oh my word. I agree with above I worry more about words like stupid and dumb (and am also trying to be better myself about saying things are weird when I really mean interesting/different). </p> <p>I bet a 3yo saying holy moly is cute!</p> <p>ETA full disclosure ... my then 2yo made up a song where he says “oh my gosh, look at your bum” which we thought was hilarious. Big mistake to laugh of course, it burned it into his brain. I don’t hear it as much now but today he was singing it at the library ... :shocked: oops </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2833907 Fri, 13 Jul 2018 20:20:41 +0000 Grace 2833907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no problem with “what the heck”. I don’t like Oh my God. Kids at daycare say it, but so far I’ve told my kid that I don’t like it and why and she’s getting better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acceptable-phrases#post-2833906 Fri, 13 Jul 2018 20:16:57 +0000 erinbaderin 2833906@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son (4.5) says what the heck all the time and while I have no idea where he got it, I have no problem with it. I’m trying to steer him away from oh my God (that one is on me) and yesterday something happened and he said “well, that sucks”, which I’m not thrilled about. </p> <p>My bigger concerns are things like not calling people dumb or stupid. </p>