https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 13:02:43 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/accepting-peoples-personalities#post-2443076 Sat, 30 Jan 2016 16:01:29 +0000 catomd00 2443076@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Related or not, I don't spend time with people I don't like to be around. My mom is a prime example. I minimize my contact with her because she doesn't add positivity to my life and I'm at a point where I just don't want to waste time and energy on people that don't make me feel good. The only reason I see her is so she can see DD.</p> <p> DH feels similarly about my mom and I'd never tell him to just accept it bc that's who she is. He chooses with my full support to spend no time around her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/accepting-peoples-personalities#post-2442974 Sat, 30 Jan 2016 13:01:59 +0000 MrsSRS 2442974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you pick one thing you really want him to try to be mindful of and then try to let the rest roll off? Maybe if you knew he was making an effort it would help. Like if every time the jab is LO related could you handle brief eye contact and a simple, maybe slightly rueful, "nope." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/accepting-peoples-personalities#post-2442897 Sat, 30 Jan 2016 11:36:19 +0000 sarac 2442897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure why anyone is required to put up with rude or unkind behavior just being 'that's how they are'. I would decline to spend time with people who were repeatedly rude to me, or make it clear that it isn't ok, I don't like it, and I'm going to interact with you as little as possible. That's my policy for my father in law. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/accepting-peoples-personalities#post-2442709 Sat, 30 Jan 2016 07:23:41 +0000 ElbieKay 2442709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My manager is like that. I complain to him about it regularly. I would have a much better relationship with him if he wasn't a jerk. This is unfortunate since it affects my job. Pretty much everything else about my job is great though, so I just work with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/accepting-peoples-personalities#post-2442353 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 18:03:00 +0000 Cherrybee 2442353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Raindrop: I'm sorry. That's just mean.... and not even very funny. :heart: :heart: :heart: I wouldn't ever, ever say something like that to my SIL because I know it would upset her - and for what gain? Certainly not side splitting laughter from everyone around. I don't think its unreasonable to expect your family member to keep his nasty mouth shut unless his quip adds genuine comedy value. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/accepting-peoples-personalities#post-2442335 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 17:46:11 +0000 Raindrop 2442335@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: Oh okay yeah that's kind of bad too - I guess I'm lucky no relative actually uses "bad" words a lot. I have friends that do it but we rarely see them with the LOs. :)</p> <p>We tried to make LOs off limits as a hard rule and he forgets a lot... because he still negatively comments once in a while but I will admit it's a lot less than it use to be. We have tried to be more firm about it since LO can understand more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/accepting-peoples-personalities#post-2442329 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 17:39:07 +0000 youboots 2442329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Raindrop: I think LOs should be off limits as a hard rule. Especially when it is to them directly.</p> <p>I'm concerned about my BIL liberal use of the F word. I find it inappropriate and vulgar at his mothers dinner table. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/accepting-peoples-personalities#post-2442328 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 17:34:24 +0000 Raindrop 2442328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: Yes! I'm trying to work on this too! I tried to meditate on this last night but man ... I still feel really grumpy when I have to interact with him. I really want to figure out how to just let what he says not bother me so much. I know it's a "me" thing. So hard! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/accepting-peoples-personalities#post-2442324 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 17:31:51 +0000 Raindrop 2442324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: I see I hope I can be better at standing up to him if he says things about my LOs. We will see.</p> <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: That's great you can stand up to them!</p> <p>@BabyBoecksMom: Yeah that's what I'm trying to do... just be prepared but man it's tough! DH says that's just how he is and to accept it even though we have talked to him a bunch of times about it. I am just trying to accept he can't change who he is.</p> <p>@gingerbebe: Haha I try to do that!! He doesn't get it.</p> <p>@HLK208: I'm definitely in a bad mood every time he's around!! I know DH doesn't like it when I'm like this but I can't help it.... his snark is just too hard sometimes for me to brush off but I'm trying. Definitely let me know if you figure something out!</p> <p>@ms.line: Thanks! *hugs*</p> <p>@Cherrybee: Awe! Thanks for letting me know the other side. I don't really mind that he's snarky just hate it when it's direct at me. By miss-step above are things like if I "let" LO bump his head ... my snarky relative will say "wow mom of the year there". I get especially upset because DH was there and obviously the he was also there and he doesn't say snarky things to him or about himself! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/accepting-peoples-personalities#post-2442320 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 17:29:50 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2442320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am working hard this year to maintain my own personal boundaries. For me this means speak my "truth," respectfully of course, speak up when things aren't working for me, etc. I hoping if I do a better job of asserting myself I will have an easier time letting small personality differences go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/accepting-peoples-personalities#post-2442299 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 17:14:27 +0000 Cherrybee 2442299@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have the opposite problem. My DH and I, and my inlaws, are pretty sarcastic (but in a funny way, not a mean way). We show affection by taking the piss out of each other. Me &amp; DH, in particular, have quite a dark sense of humour. My BIL, however, married a serious and very sensitive lady. She takes offence at the drop of a hat, cant spot a joke and is clearly uncomfortable around us. We try so hard to watch what we say in front of her - and never make fun of her specifically - but its like walking on eggshells. I always manage to offend her somehow. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/accepting-peoples-personalities#post-2442295 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 17:11:26 +0000 ms.line 2442295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My BIL is like this. I can be very dry and sarcastic sometimes, but he's just mean-spirited. And there's never a kind word to balance all the rude remarks and criticism disguised as "jokes." My DH basically told him to stop being such a dick all the time, and now they no longer speak (though there are additional factors at play, too). So no advice, just commiseration. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/accepting-peoples-personalities#post-2442289 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 17:08:53 +0000 HLK208 2442289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have someone exactly like this in my family. Every time I'm around him, I'm in a bad mood because everything he says to me is a sarcastic, sexist and rude put down. I wish I knew how to deal with it. I always think of snarky comebacks once we leave/they leave. Honestly, time away from them has been the most helpful for me. </p> <p>I'll follow this thread because I wish I could brush off nasty comments and ignore it for DH's sake. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/accepting-peoples-personalities#post-2442280 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 17:02:56 +0000 gingerbebe 2442280@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just either straight flat-face stare back at them in the eye for a few seconds or completely ignore them to their face and they get the picture pretty quickly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/accepting-peoples-personalities#post-2442276 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 17:01:27 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 2442276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a pretty sensitive person and there are some pretty mean-spirited people in our lives. I try to avoid them, but when that's not possible, I just prepare myself to know that they will say something rude and just try not to let it bother me. That's about all I can do - I obviously can't change them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/accepting-peoples-personalities#post-2442245 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 16:39:56 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2442245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Several close people to me are just mean-spirited. I will say when it comes to me I guess over the years people have noticed how sensitive I am don't do it to me. I have also been known to speak up and pretty much hold my ground that the "joke" fell flat. </p> <p>One person complains that another close family member always has a problem with what she says. When I ask what the exchange was I point out how negative the initial comment was. Whether they get it for future interactions I don't know.</p> <p>There's playful banter and just jabs. I don't like jabs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/accepting-peoples-personalities#post-2442243 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 16:39:05 +0000 youboots 2442243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Eh, there are a few people in my family I don't mesh well with. Honestly I don't go out of my way to talk to them. Or just let them do their thing and say very little. I'm someone who easily adapts to my surroundings- and I'm fine with letting people with big personalities dominate a room. I'm sure it will change as DD knows what's going on around her more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/accepting-peoples-personalities#post-2442240 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 16:33:41 +0000 Raindrop 2442240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: Haha. I have tried! It's very very hard for me. I'm not quick on my feet in that way if that makes sense. Most of the time I just look at him in shock and try to hide the best I can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/accepting-peoples-personalities#post-2442236 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 16:31:09 +0000 Greentea 2442236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I come from a dominating, sarcastic, confrontational, and aggressive opinionated family. Polar opposite to my positive, upbeat, I love peace and laughter personality. Can you try being sarcastic back? When I do it catches them off guard, they laugh and appreciate it. Like armour. Not my style though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/accepting-peoples-personalities#post-2442231 Fri, 29 Jan 2016 16:26:23 +0000 Raindrop 2442231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m having a tough time accepting someone’s personality. One of my relatives just rubs me the wrong way with quite a bit of things he says. I really don’t like hanging out with him but alas it is what it is.</p> <p>He’s very sarcastic and somewhat attacks me and my kids with his sarcasm but I think he’s trying to be funny … it’s just not funny to me… and I think it’s mean. DH has talked to him about it… and I do think he’s trying to hold back but things still just come out… sometimes he says he’s sorry but most of the time he doesn’t because he doesn’t realize that I would be hurt by it. </p> <p>I just don’t like being around him because of this and it feels like he will just attack any miss-step I make that he deems as not perfect. I’m not a confrontational person and I also tend to internalize things people say to me so this has been a really tough relationship on me. If he wasn’t related I would totally just never see him again.</p> <p>I have been trying to accept that is just who he is but it has been so hard.</p> <p>Has anyone else felt like this? Bonus points for telling me how you deal with it or any suggestions on how to deal with it. </p>