https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 05:36:31 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acquaintances-infant-passed-away#post-2824635 Thu, 24 May 2018 14:20:10 +0000 turnitup 2824635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Probably a gift card for a nice restaurant to get dinner take out would work. However, the time my mother and sister n l law spent with me taking care of the kids and cooking after my miscarriage recovery is priceless. Even the time spent speaking with people that called outweighs any gift. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acquaintances-infant-passed-away#post-2815546 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 20:30:44 +0000 SweetCaroline 2815546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all for your responses. I totally agree the spa type gift certificates are inappropriate. I was just grasping for ways to help her take some time to care for her well-being but see the obvious flaws in the idea! I can't even imagine. We will be grabbing some gift cards for takeout and may also consider dropping off water, disposable plates/utensils as well as something like muffins and a veggie tray. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acquaintances-infant-passed-away#post-2815531 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 19:20:26 +0000 pachamama 2815531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The most wonderful and appreciated thing for me when I go through hard times is when people drop off food. It takes all the pressure of going out and using gift cards, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acquaintances-infant-passed-away#post-2815505 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 15:25:22 +0000 MrsRoo 2815505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not the same situation, but my family has experienced a lot of loss, and something I’ve noticed is that lots of meals get delivered but few easy to grab options. Kind of like @Mrs. Champagne: mentioned. I really remember when people dropped off or sent over things like muffins, snack bars, fruit and veggie platters, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acquaintances-infant-passed-away#post-2815447 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 12:19:11 +0000 bubblegum 2815447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a friend loss an infant and the biggest thing that helped was dropping off food and water, giving space but letting them know you're there if they need anything at all. It's a sad sad sad situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acquaintances-infant-passed-away#post-2815440 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 12:03:36 +0000 Jennibenni 2815440@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Part of the problem with a spa service is that I think if she went now she’d forever associate a pedi or massage with what is probably the worst time of her life. Food sounds like a great idea! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acquaintances-infant-passed-away#post-2815429 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 10:45:34 +0000 Corduroy 2815429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: I attended a coworkers’ LO’s funeral and I worried about what to say too. ‘I’m sorry’ and your presence says a lot. The service I went to had an opportunity to write down stories of the LO. I (and a lot of the attendees) never met the LO but I shared ways that I knew my coworker loved her so much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acquaintances-infant-passed-away#post-2815398 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 08:53:16 +0000 Mrsbells 2815398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: thats thoughtful of you to be thinking of sending something, I would think a gift card for a meal delivery or restaurant might be better since it eases the burden of having to think of the next meal </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acquaintances-infant-passed-away#post-2815396 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 08:30:04 +0000 Ajsmommy 2815396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd do gift cards to common places to eat in your area. So they can easily grab dinner or lunch when they don't feel like cooking. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acquaintances-infant-passed-away#post-2815390 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 08:11:35 +0000 Mama Bird 2815390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is so sad and I agree with the idea of doing something for them. I do think the self-care stuff is somehow not it - I'm not sure why. A meal delivery would be better. And a big cuddly toy for their preschooler :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acquaintances-infant-passed-away#post-2815386 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 07:47:53 +0000 Pollywog 2815386@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would do grubhub over a Mani pedi. The problem with spa days is you need child care and you have to interact with society. One of the first questions you get asked is how many children you have. I know I'd probably not use it. But I'd love to get food. </p> <p>At the visitation, all you need to say is "I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how horrible this is for uou". If you're close, I'd offer to watch her child, but if you haven't done drop off play dates before, I wouldn't offer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acquaintances-infant-passed-away#post-2815376 Tue, 10 Apr 2018 05:00:31 +0000 SweetCaroline 2815376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: yes I agree with you on the inappropriateness.@wrkbrk: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acquaintances-infant-passed-away#post-2815353 Mon, 09 Apr 2018 20:09:58 +0000 wrkbrk 2815353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LAZB: Yes groceries. Excellent suggestion.<br /> I’m very sorry about your little. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acquaintances-infant-passed-away#post-2815352 Mon, 09 Apr 2018 20:08:47 +0000 wrkbrk 2815352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: You feel guilty for feeling compassionate? No. You’re being sweet. I would send a hand written note and maybe a donation to a childrens hospital in their name or even just a check or something with a note to donate to something they feel represents their baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acquaintances-infant-passed-away#post-2815351 Mon, 09 Apr 2018 20:07:11 +0000 wrkbrk 2815351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: Totallt agree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acquaintances-infant-passed-away#post-2815349 Mon, 09 Apr 2018 20:00:35 +0000 Truth Bombs 2815349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Are your children friends with their preschool daughter? I think offering to have her over for play dates, help with driving her to activities, etc would probably be the biggest help to them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acquaintances-infant-passed-away#post-2815347 Mon, 09 Apr 2018 19:59:57 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2815347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is there a local catering company? Different situation - but a friend of my husbands was diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago and he and his wife had a 4 month old, 1.5 year old twins and 3 year old. Friend organized a meal delivery service three nights a week and organized a schedule of fresh fruit and veggie deliveries. Something like that might be help.. It was a lot of work for a few close friends to organize, but most of us just had to donate money so it was easy to do and a lot of people wanted to help.<br /> It's so hard to cook and feed your family in times like this. I'm so sorry for her loss </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acquaintances-infant-passed-away#post-2815346 Mon, 09 Apr 2018 19:57:57 +0000 LAZB 2815346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think everything you mentioned sounds wonderful. When our son passed away people also had some basic groceries delivered and sent gift cards for restaurants so we didn’t have to worry about food, which I thought was so thoughtful.<br /> Also, don’t feel guilty about being sad, I’m sure that she wants people to miss him, it means he matters. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acquaintances-infant-passed-away#post-2815345 Mon, 09 Apr 2018 19:56:43 +0000 erinbaderin 2815345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A massage or a pedicure seems somehow inappropriate, but I can’t put my finger on why. When I had a miscarriage a friend sent me chocolate covered strawberries and I couldn’t eat them because I kept thinking “I have these because I lost my baby.” I feel like I’d have the same feeling during a pedicure, but that’s just me. Maybe a gift certificate for a restaurant that delivers? </p> <p>As far as what to say, I think your plan is fine - “I’m so sorry for your loss, you have all been in our thoughts.” </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/acquaintances-infant-passed-away#post-2815337 Mon, 09 Apr 2018 19:40:43 +0000 SweetCaroline 2815337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm looking for advice on how to support a family that my husband and I both know for different reasons. They have a preschooler and their infant just passed away unexpectedly.</p> <p>We'll be attending the visitation and funeral, as well as sending a card. What kind of token can we extend? Would it be strange or out of line if I sent the mom a gift certificate for a massage or pedicure and a note that she is on my mind and I hope she can take some time for herself? If that's odd, other ideas?</p> <p>Also, I don't know what words to say at visitation. I'll offer my condolences and ask how her daughter is doing. Other advice?</p> <p>Thanks for suggestions. It's an unimaginable situation I know other HBers have faced. I feel serious guilt for being emotional about this.</p> <p>ETA: if determined the gift certificate is appropriate, I would send it in a week or two, not right away. </p>