https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 01 May 2026 10:18:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adding-to-the-family#post-2758468 Fri, 14 Jul 2017 15:08:02 +0000 JLC53 2758468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catlady: I feel the exact same way, but you put it into words! Thank you</p> <p>"I think I intellectually wanted to be one and done (for many reasons) but my heart wanted another" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adding-to-the-family#post-2758453 Fri, 14 Jul 2017 14:43:36 +0000 catlady 2758453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had a tough time with LO1 as a baby, and we weren't ready to even consider another until she was a year old. We finally decided to go for it when she was almost 2. We got pregnant right away but lost that pregnancy at 12 weeks. We tried again for a few months and then I had a chemical and started to get really down about it (I had previously had a miscarriage before LO1, so that was my 4th pregnancy at that point).</p> <p>We took a break and we were both really starting to consider being one and done. I'd say I was 75% there. And then a couple months in, I got pregnant by accident and the decision was made. I have to be honest, I am so happy it happened that way. My kids are a little over 3 years apart and while it has been tough, I love LO2 so much and cannot imagine life without him. Before having him, I think I intellectually wanted to be one and done (for many reasons) but my heart wanted another. Now I feel like our family is complete.</p> <p>I was scared about having another, especially going through the early months since it was so hard with LO1, but I don't think it was as bad as the first time around, and it is so temporary. LO2 is 7 months now and life is already starting to get easier. I think the 3 year age gap has been easier on us than a smaller one would have been, so it ultimately worked out for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adding-to-the-family#post-2758439 Fri, 14 Jul 2017 14:12:31 +0000 Ajsmommy 2758439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You are not alone in having these feelings. I had the same feelings about going from 1 to 2 and I didn't have any PPD or anything after #1, so I can imagine thinking about going through it all again is daunting. </p> <p>I always planned on having two kids. So the plan never really changed. When it came time to try and even after I was pregnant I questioned whether it was the right decision or not. I felt like it was going to rock all of our worlds and we had a pretty good thing going just me, DH and DD. </p> <p>4 months in with #2 and I can say I am so grateful and happy. However, I will say it's hard. Very hard. But it was meant to be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adding-to-the-family#post-2758407 Fri, 14 Jul 2017 12:58:18 +0000 JLC53 2758407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone for your responses!!! Life with my son really rocked my world. Finally what got me through was realizing it isn't about me anymore and to come to terms with that. I guess we will figure it out. </p> <p>I almost wish I would accidentally get pregnant and take the decision out of the equation, but that hasn't happened yet and I keep taking those BC pills... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adding-to-the-family#post-2758313 Fri, 14 Jul 2017 09:40:59 +0000 snowjewelz 2758313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD was 16 months when I found out I was pregnant with our 2nd. It was a total surprise, as we weren't planning to try till she was more like 20 months (for a 2.5-3 year gap). Plus DD2 came out early, so they are exactly 2 years apart.</p> <p>It was a tough transition in the beginning, but I couldn't be happier. I think there are unique challenges to having any # of children, with any type of age gap, since each kid are different and every family dynamic is different. </p> <p>My 2nd just started daycare so I feel your pain. But we're trying to grit our teeth and get through these next few years with 2 in daycare. I def had a lot of anxiety towards the end of my pregnancy. I had GD both times so that sucked. But honestly, it was hard but looking at DD1 and DD2, they are so worth it! </p> <p>With that said, unless you have a surprise pregnancy, I def would talk with your DH and make sure you're on the same page, and that you're "okay" with getting pregnant right away if you try. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adding-to-the-family#post-2758212 Thu, 13 Jul 2017 21:57:43 +0000 ScarletBegonia 2758212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Following...my son turned 3 in March and I'm still undecided on going for a second - we are TTC but its so different to the first time. It took 6 months with my son and I felt so devastated every time we were unsuccessful - this time its also been about 6 months and I am completely meh every time I get my period. I'm feeling very torn and happy to read others experiences. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adding-to-the-family#post-2758210 Thu, 13 Jul 2017 21:53:28 +0000 gingerbebe 2758210@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS1 was a nightmare newborn, I had horrific PPA/PPD, and we had terrible childcare situations come up, so I was terrified when we accidentally pregnant with DS2. They are 20 months apart.</p> <p>The first few months were tough but everyone got on a good routine and now my boys are 14 months and almost 3 and they have just been such a joy to see play together. Things really got great at 1 year for DS2 and our eldest loves his brother and we never had any jealousy or meanness and I attribute it mostly because the gap was so small. </p> <p>I had PPA/PPD this time as well but I was ready for it and we had a good plan in place with DH and my doctor to get me more rest and more help during the newborn phase. DS2 was also a much easier baby so that helped a lot. </p> <p>It is a sacrifice financially and for my career while I work part time but we don't regret it at all and our boys are just best friends. I don't think personally I would have been ready for a second for a long time if I had to choose so I'm sorta glad it just happened. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adding-to-the-family#post-2758203 Thu, 13 Jul 2017 20:12:38 +0000 mamabolt 2758203@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a lot harder time feeling ready for my second, I think when you know what you are getting into it's a lot harder, especially when you've got a good routine with one and are finally emerging from the fog. But now I can't imagine life without my little guy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adding-to-the-family#post-2758191 Thu, 13 Jul 2017 18:45:26 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2758191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you probably could wait awhile. Even in six months you may feel way more confident and ready. Our first two are 3 years apart and it has been a good age gap so far. </p> <p>That said you might never feel ready now that you know firsthand how much you could sacrifice. Daycare is temporary though. The whole baby stage is. Hang in there and best wishes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adding-to-the-family#post-2758188 Thu, 13 Jul 2017 18:10:09 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2758188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are starting IUI's this month for a second and our son will be 3 this fall. We also always wanted two but our son rocked our world and it took a long time to come around to trying again, especially for my mental health.. Now I'm so excited! I saw a therapist and got prepared over the last few months<br /> I would say it took me until he was about 18 months and DW a little longer to get on board completely so I would agree to just wait like others have said. We always planned on a larger gap specifically for daycare cost, and then it turned out we weren't ready earlier anyway.<br /> I do have moments thinking we are crazy because I love our life now...especially considering we are a same sex couple so TTC for us is very calculated and not spontaneous at all, but I know we would regret if we didn't try. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adding-to-the-family#post-2758180 Thu, 13 Jul 2017 17:23:07 +0000 Truth Bombs 2758180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also say wait a little while. You really have plenty of time. My two are exactly 3 years apart and it's been an amazing age gap. They love each other so much. And my husband and I had time to recover from the baby stage before doing it all over again, and our older one was fully potty trained, sleeping like a champ, playing independently, able to verbalize anything she wanted, etc when our little one came so it made juggling 2 a lot easier. Having them spaced out a little more will also limit the number of years where you are paying double daycare and feeling tight on $. Reducing financial stress is in the best interest of your marriage and both your kiddos! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adding-to-the-family#post-2758164 Thu, 13 Jul 2017 15:44:40 +0000 birdofafeather 2758164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we have always planned on having 3. but i wasn't ready to even consider a second until my daughter turned 2, and that was with a pretty easy infanthood, but rougher personally toddler year... and then i got knocked up not even trying right after that! so i say wait because i've loved having them almost 3 years apart! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adding-to-the-family#post-2758162 Thu, 13 Jul 2017 15:35:27 +0000 Littlebit7 2758162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm pregnant with our second. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't 100% ready when we decided to start trying. I wasn't even 100% sure I wanted a second. Our gap will be 2.75 years. I don't know if I would have ever felt "ready". The feeling of going backwards to the dark newborn days really scared me, and our kid is so fun and independent and we were able to travel again....</p> <p>But then it hit me that I was getting up in age, and if I ever thought we would regret not having a second, we just needed to try and see what happened. It took 5 months to get a + but here we are, and we are excited.</p> <p>ETA: it is also with sacrifices. I probably will have to stay home a few more years (DH is pretty much traveling all the time and my salary barely covers daycare). We will probably have to move. Our area as a ridiculously high cost of living; 1 kid was doable, two will be a stretch and probably affect how we can live our life, quality of life, savings, travel, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adding-to-the-family#post-2758153 Thu, 13 Jul 2017 15:15:18 +0000 JLC53 2758153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Are you ever ready to have a second? I guess I felt the same with having my first. I was excited, but scared to death at the same time. The logistics of having a second terrify me. </p> <p>I have always pictured having 2 kids. I am an only child and although I had the best childhood, I knew I would want my children to have siblings.</p> <p>My son is 17 months old now and is the best thing that has ever happened to me. If I wanted them to be close in age I really need to start to try for a second now-ish, and I am starting to feel a little ready, but at the same time not. I had a really hard time after my son was born. I went into a bad depression and fog for months. I just don't know if I want to relive through that again, especially so soon. Those first few months were very dark days for me. My husband feels the same, wants a second but doesn't want to see me go through it again. The cost of daycare is huge for 2. Basically my entire paycheck would be going to daycare, but I know for sure I would never want to be a SAHM. Can we figure out a way to make it work, yes, but not without sacrifices. Who doesn't make sacrifices for the kids, not anyone I know. </p> <p>I don't even know why I am posting this... Maybe getting my thoughts out there... </p>