https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 03 May 2026 00:59:02 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjusting-to-burb-life#post-378832 Mon, 05 Nov 2012 11:05:12 +0000 Shutterbug 378832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. bird: Could you have your kids be involved in extracurricular activities (sports, etc) in the city? </p> <p>To me the better schools would be worth it. Although I think I'd want to know beforehand if I would be able to also enroll my kids in the city schools if I changed my mind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjusting-to-burb-life#post-378778 Mon, 05 Nov 2012 10:44:24 +0000 Andrea 378778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our taxes in the burbs are sky high but there are better schools, more house, and more privacy. I can drive into Manhattan in 30 minutes so I rarely miss living there. To me, it's priceless to have fresh air, a big yard, a calm/quiet environment, and clean streets in the suburbs. I'm not white so there are times when I feel a bit out of place, but I haven't found it to be a huge deal as yet. There are enough minorities around, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjusting-to-burb-life#post-378601 Mon, 05 Nov 2012 09:36:08 +0000 sweetooth 378601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We made the shift to suburban life when we bought a house 2 years ago. We still live relatively close to the city - easily accessible by bus and metro, only a 10 minute drive. But it really is an adjustment. I think what helped us was still living close enough to walk to a few conveniences (drug store, restaurants, etc.) But we're still adjusting.</p> <p>As for your kids, I think it's smart to consider what their experience will be like in school. It's the time in their life that shapes the person they will become. I'm all for diversity and feeling like you can relate to others. Seeing yourself in another person makes you feel less alone.</p> <p>Best of luck with your decision... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjusting-to-burb-life#post-378035 Sun, 04 Nov 2012 20:17:10 +0000 mrs. bird 378035@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pink Champagne: you're absolutely right that the level of diversity can change over time! I did look up the stats for the elementary school over the past 5 years, it's gone from 96% white to 87% white, from 0.2% black to 1%. So it has changed a bit and hopefully will continue to do so. But 1% is not enough :/</p> <p>@photojane: It's not just a matter of whether they will be popular or have friends, it's also about allowing them to experience black American culture. My husband was the son of poor immigrant parents, he went to school at a very wealthy private school where he was one of a handful of black students in the school, while he had friends and never experienced any overt racism while at school, there's a feeling of not belonging when no one else looks like you and doesn't share the experience of being black in America. We feel pretty strongly about allowing our children opportunities to be exposed to black American culture, it is a part of them. School isn't the only place where they can have that, but we would love for that to be part of their experience at school. </p> <p>@pointybird: haha, you made me laugh :D maybe they need to dress the knome up each day, provide you with some entertainment! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjusting-to-burb-life#post-377586 Sun, 04 Nov 2012 14:09:17 +0000 plaidpants 377586@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have been living in the suburbs for about four months now, and I can't say I love it. It's great to have a yard and I definitely appreciate the extra space (we literally doubled our living space) but I really miss walking places and being around people. We still go for walks now, but it's sort of aimless, like, "Yup, there's that house with the lawn gnome that we saw yesterday...and the day before...and the day before that." I'm sure I'll appreciate it more when LO is older and we are taking advantage of the playground down the street and the much better schools. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjusting-to-burb-life#post-377577 Sun, 04 Nov 2012 13:55:54 +0000 mamimami 377577@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @PrincessBaby about the homebody thing... I don't live in the suburbs but I moved from someplace within walking distance of tons of stuff to the opposite and I actually enjoy it. Now when I go home I'm home for the day and that is actually pretty relaxing. I'm far enough from most fun and useful places that I don't feel the need to do errands, make last-minute plans, etc. the weekends are when we makeup for all the weekday homebody business! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjusting-to-burb-life#post-377566 Sun, 04 Nov 2012 13:41:48 +0000 photojane 377566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. bird: i grew up in a predominately white suburban area, but the kids of the minority groups were never excluded due to race. i'm caucasian, but i had both asian and african american friends growing up. there were popular kids of every race, and not-so-popular kids of every race. i think it definitely had more to do with the kids' personality, not their skin color. this may not be true everywhere, but i do live in a more southern state, and never saw that kind of racism growing up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjusting-to-burb-life#post-377557 Sun, 04 Nov 2012 13:34:00 +0000 blackbird 377557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We live in the 'burbs, and it's totally worth it! We love the privacy and you just do things like go to the store on the way home. Better schools would be 100% worth it. </p> <p>You come to enjoy the quiet and privacy :) 'burb life is very family oriented! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjusting-to-burb-life#post-377552 Sun, 04 Nov 2012 13:28:49 +0000 Pink Champagne 377552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think your positives are perfect reasons for buying that house.<br /> Keep in mind that diversity can change. DH's high school and neighborhood area he grew up in was 90% white when he was growing up, and by his 10 year reunion it was 50-60% Asian. So by the time your LOs are going through school, there might be larger diversity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjusting-to-burb-life#post-377514 Sun, 04 Nov 2012 12:28:05 +0000 PrincessBaby 377514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. bird: I think you will SO get over having to drive everywhere...You'll actually probably find that you'll become much more a homebody - like you will nix driving to places because then you'll have to drive back, and you want to drink, yadayada - that's what happened to us. And we decided that it was a lot cheaper, more convenient, and more fun to stick around the house a lot more. We still venture out for dinner downtown once a week or so when DH is home, but it's not that painful because it's not all the time:) </p> <p>As far as your other concerns, I really hope you're just overthinking all of that! I would love to believe that that will NOT be the case for your kids because that just sounds so awful to me...And in my mind, that just wouldn't happen anymore, it seems like our society would be so far past that- that it would never occur to me in this day and time! BUT, obviously, I am white and would be in the majority in that case, so I can't imagine what it would truly be like for a family with children in a very small minority. It makes me very sad to think that could still happen, even in a society that I tend to think has progressed beyond that. I hope that you make a decision that you're happy with:) My heart goes out to you to have to consider all of those things as well....What a shame:( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjusting-to-burb-life#post-377500 Sun, 04 Nov 2012 12:14:33 +0000 mrs. bird 377500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PrincessBaby: those are the parts I want! The deck with a grill &amp; parties &amp; a swing set for the kids. I think I could get over having to drive everywhere if I wasn't worried about our half Nigerian half Irish kids in a 93% white school. They will already be from a family with less money, and to everyone in the town they'll be black and our street would still be outside the town, so it would look like we live in the city (other kids on the street go to city schools), so now we have a 'poor, black, city kid' going to a yuppy suburban school. I'm probably worrying more about that than I need to, but I went to middle &amp; high school in this town &amp; there was ONE black family in my 700 student middle school. DH is friends with one of the boys from that family now &amp; he says it was really hard for him. The thought of that being our child's experience in school hurts my heart. I want them to get a good education, but not be ostracized because they don't fit in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjusting-to-burb-life#post-377481 Sun, 04 Nov 2012 11:49:13 +0000 PrincessBaby 377481@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. bird: More house made me forget all about living in the city! DH and I used to have a condo in the hip part of the city we lived in- it was beautiful, in the "warehouse district" and had all the exposed beams and 20+ foot ceilings..And we could walk to our favorite restaurants and bars. When we moved states, we decided to do the burb thing, and I have NEVER looked back! I love having space and a lot more house and lots of little life-perks like a grill! I never missed it at all! I got to where my favorite idea of a good night was to have some drinks or wine at our house, hanging out on the patio furniture by our pool, and grilling on our grill. And if some of our friends came over- that was lots of fun too. We joke that we are old, but I LOVE it:) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjusting-to-burb-life#post-377474 Sun, 04 Nov 2012 11:47:07 +0000 Weagle 377474@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We moved from the city to the 'burbs about a year and a half ago. However, our new neighborhood is more diverse than the neighborhood we lived in in DC. I definitely enjoy living here, but I'm still getting used to not being able to walk everywhere. However, we're only 15 or so minutes away, so we still spend a lot of time there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjusting-to-burb-life#post-377471 Sun, 04 Nov 2012 11:43:53 +0000 photojane 377471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i've always lived in the suburbs, so i can't really speak on the transition, but i love it. i chose not to move out of the 'burbs after getting married, because i really enjoyed my childhood here. i want my children to have those same benefits: large yard to play in, great schools, larger house where we can comfortably celebrate birthdays, holidays, etc. plus, it's personal preference, but i prefer to take a walk around a lake or neighborhood than on a city sidewalk. also, in most suburbs everything you need (groceries, food, drugstore) will be within a 5 or 10 minute drive, which isn't too bad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjusting-to-burb-life#post-377466 Sun, 04 Nov 2012 11:41:15 +0000 pastemoo 377466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really don't like the burbs at all and we are moving out at the next move and never coming back! Also... we both gained weight in the burbs due to less "regular" walking (same gym time). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjusting-to-burb-life#post-377465 Sun, 04 Nov 2012 11:40:07 +0000 mrs. wagon 377465@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I grew up in a very homogeneous town (probably 90 percent Irish and/or Italian catholic) and even though it wasn't ideal, I think it was a good way to grow up. There's a lot I could say about it, but basically I think it prepared me for a world that is not always richly diverse. It also made me appreciate so much more when diversity is actually present. It also taught me to fight to make myself known as something other than the token minority. We live in a similar town now and even though it has its disadvantages (wj is the only minority in his daycare so everyone knows his name and who he is, while we struggle to learn everyone's names!) We're happy to have our kids grow up in this kind of town.</p> <p>I say go for it!! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjusting-to-burb-life#post-377456 Sun, 04 Nov 2012 11:37:31 +0000 pinkcupcake 377456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We moved to the burbs 2.5 yrs ago and honestly, I'm still getting used to it! I miss the diversity, culture, shops, restaurants, etc that the city provides, but the burbs provide so much more house for $ and the cost of living is so much less. Ideally I'd like to live about 15 mins away from a big city so I could take advantage of both city and suburbia life! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjusting-to-burb-life#post-377450 Sun, 04 Nov 2012 11:33:34 +0000 loveisstrange 377450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To me better schools, lower taxes, bigger house, etc are worth it. Hell, better schools alone are worth it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjusting-to-burb-life#post-377448 Sun, 04 Nov 2012 11:32:22 +0000 chopsuey 377448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We just moved from the 'burbs to the city! I'm still getting used to it and kinda miss surburbia..<br /> Our LO is still young and we don't have to think about school for another 3 years or so though.. not sure what our future holds! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjusting-to-burb-life#post-377445 Sun, 04 Nov 2012 11:29:13 +0000 mrs. bird 377445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're still tossing around the idea of buying our first home. I've found an AMAZING opportunity to buy a home that strattles our city line &amp; the town next to it. It needs far less work than the last place we were considering! The driveway &amp; street are within the city lines, but because the lot goes so far back &amp; the house is so far from the street, it's over the town line! So we'd pay lower taxes on that portion &amp; our kids would be able to go to school in the town rather than the city. Schools in town are much better, but less diverse and our children could easily be the only minorities in their class which I would not be happy about. And you can't walk to anything! Well, you could walk to a JCC, but we aren't members and it's too much $$ for us to join, we belong to a health club elsewhere. </p> <p>The idea of not being able to walk to anything (we own 2 cars &amp; both drive to work, but we often walk to dinner, or the grocery store, or the park, etc) and our kids being in such a homogenous environment is making me panicky thinking about it! Is that just part of living in the 'burbs? Do you get over it? How long did it take you to adjust to a suburban lifestyle? Are better schools, more house, lower taxes, and more privacy worth it? This is such a hard choice for me! </p>