https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 08 Apr 2026 12:27:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjustment-period-for-1-year-old-starting-daycare#post-2688749 Sun, 29 Jan 2017 18:23:09 +0000 looch 2688749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: I understand completely! I was fortunate to have help from my dad to do this but I wouldn't wish it on anyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjustment-period-for-1-year-old-starting-daycare#post-2688322 Fri, 27 Jan 2017 19:23:58 +0000 MrsSRS 2688322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: Yes sometimes they cry off and on throughout the day for several weeks. Usually it decreases a lot after the first few days, but they may still be easily upset at transitions like diaper time or the end of meals. They are unsettled basically until they learn the routine and know what to expect and what fun they can have. I agree that dads often do better drop offs. This is because dads tend to project "I expect you will have fun here and I know you can do it" and moms tend to project "I expect you to be sad, but please don't." I know my daughter's first few weeks I had to reel my feelings in tight and put on my cheerful, reassuring face and trust that she would learn to be happy if she knew I was telling her this was a safe place. Then I cried when I was out of sight. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjustment-period-for-1-year-old-starting-daycare#post-2688317 Fri, 27 Jan 2017 19:13:17 +0000 winniebee 2688317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: agree! I would just plunge in. My son took 4 hour naps at home at the end of the week he was so drained! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjustment-period-for-1-year-old-starting-daycare#post-2688261 Fri, 27 Jan 2017 17:48:23 +0000 gingerbebe 2688261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly I would just rip the bandaid off and let him go full days. It may help his sleep issues too since he's tired from the stress and stimulation. My son slept like a rock at daycare and home when he started at 16 months because it was overwhelming. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjustment-period-for-1-year-old-starting-daycare#post-2688175 Fri, 27 Jan 2017 15:50:45 +0000 MrsADS 2688175@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@junebugsmama thanks. I'm trying not to get TOO worried since it's only day #2. We talk positively but I think at 17 months that doesn't have as much of an impact as it would on a 2 or 3 yo. </p> <p>@looch that's kind of what we are doing now, although we can't take several weeks for the transition due to work. Today he was there for the morning (which was snack, outside play, song/circle time and playtime), and we are going to repeat that Monday, then slowly work up from there. My work is very understanding but I can't take half days off for weeks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjustment-period-for-1-year-old-starting-daycare#post-2688173 Fri, 27 Jan 2017 15:49:49 +0000 Mrsbells 2688173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: I believe that for a one year old within a week or 2 there should be huge improvement. The drop off might still be tough after that but then after drop off once you leave he should be fine </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjustment-period-for-1-year-old-starting-daycare#post-2688172 Fri, 27 Jan 2017 15:48:54 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2688172@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: My 2 yo just started and he has a had a great transition, I know that a lot of it is his personality, but it really helped to hype up the idea of "going to see your friends!" and also another mom mentioned to me to let your LO overhear you or you talk directly to him or her, saying really positive things about the teacher. We talk about his teacher a lot and I say stuff like isn't she so nice? I really like her (can't think of much else to say lol). Good luck. This is SO ROUGH! I feel for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjustment-period-for-1-year-old-starting-daycare#post-2688161 Fri, 27 Jan 2017 15:28:55 +0000 looch 2688161@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son took forever to adjust, he started just over age 2, but I think he would have had the same issues had he been younger. </p> <p>I think you kind of have to look at what's actually happening during the day, we did a very long intro, he would go in the morning and then come home for lunch. Then, after several weeks, he would go in the morning and stay for lunch. Then, several weeks after that, he would have his afternoon nap there. It was a long process! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjustment-period-for-1-year-old-starting-daycare#post-2688151 Fri, 27 Jan 2017 15:16:05 +0000 MrsADS 2688151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lbee I'm going to have my husband do most of the drop offs (daycare is close to his work anyway). I think he's much more positive and upbeat and as much as I *try* to be, I know he's probably feeding off some of my anxiety and guilt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjustment-period-for-1-year-old-starting-daycare#post-2688149 Fri, 27 Jan 2017 15:15:14 +0000 MrsADS 2688149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere did they cry all during the day for a month? or just at drop off? </p> <p>@mrssrs our teachers are awesome. We're definitely going to shorten the drop off interval next week to a few minutes. My concern isn't the crying at drop off... it's the crying all during the day. Do you think most kids cry all day during that 2-6 week adjustment period or just at drop offs? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjustment-period-for-1-year-old-starting-daycare#post-2688146 Fri, 27 Jan 2017 15:13:42 +0000 LBee 2688146@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had this issue with my son and the church daycare. We did several things to help:</p> <p>1. He was assigned a "person" who stuck with him in the beginning. They were who we always handed him off to and that helped tons.<br /> 2. We built a bear with my voice in it that he took to school that said "Parents come back, we love you!"<br /> 3. We started drilling into him the Daniel Tiger episode about parents coming back and whenever we left him we said the same thing, "parents come back, I love you!"<br /> 4. We read several books addressing the subject (he was around 2 at the time) -- I'm happy to make recommendations<br /> 5. We were consistent and my husband started doing drop off. He was feeding off my anxiety and it was becoming a vicious cycle of anxiety. </p> <p>We didn't do this, but they did recommend gradually increasing the time and making a big deal when I did come back saying the same phrase "parents come back!!" when he saw me. </p> <p>Hugs. It's so hard and caused me tons of mommy guilt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjustment-period-for-1-year-old-starting-daycare#post-2688139 Fri, 27 Jan 2017 15:07:47 +0000 MrsSRS 2688139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I teach at a daycare. The adjustment period is 2-6 weeks for 99% of kids. The kids who come 5 days/week at consistent times adjust more quickly. It took my youngest a few weeks to adjust when she started at 14mo. It also tends to be that the quicker parents leave the shorter the sadness. I can't imagine having a parent stay for more than 5 minutes, you have wonderfully patient and accommodating teachers! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjustment-period-for-1-year-old-starting-daycare#post-2688137 Fri, 27 Jan 2017 15:03:06 +0000 lamariniere 2688137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DD started at 13 months and cried every day for a month. My DS started right at 2 and cried every day for 3 weeks. It was really hard for both of them, but once they got used to it, they liked going. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjustment-period-for-1-year-old-starting-daycare#post-2688102 Fri, 27 Jan 2017 14:06:02 +0000 MrsADS 2688102@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee thanks. I am hoping since he's a little younger (17mo) the adjustment will be a bit easier than around 2 or so. I totally expect crying at drop off even for months - I think that is totally normal, and I have no issues with that AS LONG AS he calms down fairly soon and isn't crying and distressed all during the day... which so far he has been. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjustment-period-for-1-year-old-starting-daycare#post-2688101 Fri, 27 Jan 2017 14:04:19 +0000 winniebee 2688101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: After 2 weeks I wanted to quit. The second week he missed 2 days. Then he got a bad burn on his hand (at home) and was distressed by that for a bit. Then he had a major fall at school and got an egg and got to be picked up early. My husband did NOT want to quit - he feels really strongly about our kids being around other kids and getting into a routine around age 2. We knew if we pulled him starting again wasn't going to be easier at some other point. But, it was tough because we still had a part time nanny so had other options. I am so glad we pushed ahead even though it was a really hard first month. The second month really wasn't bad except drop off he did cry quite a bit still. Then magically one day at drop off he just took off his coat and walked towards the works to play with. I looked at my older son in amazement and we were both giddy and high fiving on the way out the door. The biggest thing was the teachers worked with us and updated and us and convinced me that a month or two of separation anxiety could be normal. If we could do it again, I think we should have started him in a program earlier, like 18 months, and that would have been an easier transition. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjustment-period-for-1-year-old-starting-daycare#post-2688096 Fri, 27 Jan 2017 13:49:22 +0000 MrsADS 2688096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee omg 2 months?!?!?! :shocked: You're strong. After 2 days I am feeling like forget it! LOL. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjustment-period-for-1-year-old-starting-daycare#post-2688095 Fri, 27 Jan 2017 13:43:45 +0000 winniebee 2688095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS2 started at 21 months (previously at home with me, then a nanny). He started a Montessori program (his brother does the same program but in a different room) 3x a week. We had a very rough transition period, to be honest. He cried hysterically at drop off for 2 months. For the first few weeks it seemed like he cried all day there - didn't eat lunch, wanted to nap all the time, didn't participate at all. It was heartbreaking and we really considered pulling him out completely. After a few weeks it got a little bit better, but it really took a full month for him to start getting into the routine. He still cried quite a bit for the second month but it was a lot better. At the 2 month mark, we lost our nanny so he started going 4x a week with extended care 3x a week. I'm not sure if that was the game changer or it just took time, but he started skipping off to school and not crying at all at drop offs. </p> <p>So, my story is a little scary, but it's honest! And I'm really glad that we pushed forward because he would otherwise be missing out on what has turned out to be a very good experience for him :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjustment-period-for-1-year-old-starting-daycare#post-2688093 Fri, 27 Jan 2017 13:36:23 +0000 gingerbebe 2688093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It took 2-3 weeks before he wasn't crying at drop off or pick up. Mine started at 16 months. He didn't really play with the other kids and basically just clung to the teacher nonstop, but wasn't crying the whole time. He cried when we dropped him off (like wailing) for 10 minutes and would wail as soon as we picked him up for 5-10 minutes. But apparently he was quiet and civil during the school day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adjustment-period-for-1-year-old-starting-daycare#post-2688082 Fri, 27 Jan 2017 13:30:04 +0000 MrsADS 2688082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 17 month old is just starting daycare for the first time. Before now, he's been at home with babysitters and us taking days to work from home. He has never had any separation issues staying with sitters, is super happy and social, loves other kids. So I THOUGHT he'd do fine adjusting to daycare.</p> <p>Well... yesterday was the first "day" which was really just a trial run, we stayed with him in the classroom for about an hour and then left him for about an hour while we did paperwork. Apparently he pretty much cried the whole time.</p> <p>Today we came about 8:45, stayed with him about 30 minutes, he sat to have snack about 9:15 with the other kids, fussed when we left but not really cried. He stayed until about 11. The teachers said he would play for a few minutes, but then would start looking around and say "mama" and then would start crying, and pretty much did that the whole time. When I picked him up, a teacher was holding him and I could tell he was upset but not like sobbing. But when he saw me, he started bawling and kept crying while I held him for like 5 more minutes, and kept sniffing and shuddering the whole drive home.</p> <p>The teacher said she recommends Monday doing 2.5 hours and slowly working up from there to maybe a half day Tuesday and Wednesday next week, she says his reaction is 100% normal and some kids are actually worse. </p> <p>I guess I expect some tears at drop off, but I was really hoping they would say after a little crying, he played and was happy. I'm really upset that for 2 hours he was wandering around saying "mama" and crying. :crying: </p> <p>I guess I am just looking for reassurance that he will eventually get used to it and not be so upset the whole time he's there? If your LO did this, how long did it take to stop? I'm having so much anxiety and mommy guilt! </p>