https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Apr 2026 17:43:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-special-baby#post-312812 Thu, 27 Sep 2012 11:17:19 +0000 Mrs. Blue 312812@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This subject is near and dear to my heart. I am really plugged into adopting a child with HIV. It's something I know I could handle and see past the disease and love the child. My family would be mostly on board, but I know DH thinks that would be a LOT to take on. Honestly, sometimes, I just pray that he'll form a strong desire on his own because pushing the agenda doesn't usually work and we would both need to be totally on board. Also, I don't think it would be wise for us to take that on financially as long as we still have our school debt. Paying off things is first on the list! </p> <p>I think anyone who is willing to adopt a SN child should go for it. It's so much harder to find placements for them, and they need families just like the rest of us. Plus, any little one will bring lots of joy to your family, whether they have some additional issues or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-special-baby#post-312689 Thu, 27 Sep 2012 10:15:45 +0000 wheres_c 312689@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that it's fantastic that you would consider adopting a baby with Special Needs.<br /> For me, the decision would come down to money, time and resources available.<br /> I know I have enough love in my heart and patience to raise a child with a disability but in order to give the child a good life I would need a lot more available time and money.</p> <p>I think it's hard for people to understand, because in an ideal world we'd all have healthy babies while in healthy loving relationships and there would be no babies without families needing adoption.</p> <p>Some people view adoption as a last resort for those unable to conceive, where as others see adoption as an opportunity to provide a chance for a good life for a child that may not otherwise have the opportunity. For some, it's both.</p> <p>From an outsider's viewpoint:<br /> If they consider adoption "Providing an opportunity", then it makes sense that you would choose a child with as many special needs as you think you could capably meet.<br /> If they see it more as a replacement for becoming pregnant, then others might question why you would choose anything other than a perfectly healthy child.</p> <p>What I said above may not really make much sense, but it did in my head while I was typing it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-special-baby#post-312638 Thu, 27 Sep 2012 09:41:48 +0000 autumnlove 312638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My friend's coworker is in the process of adopting a little girl without any arms. Her family thinks she is crazy. :-( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-special-baby#post-312626 Thu, 27 Sep 2012 09:31:34 +0000 DillonLion 312626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would definitely be open to it but I've discussed it with DH and he's not interested at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-special-baby#post-312617 Thu, 27 Sep 2012 09:27:22 +0000 Cherrybee 312617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you're a really special person and any child - bio and/or adopted, with or without disability - would be very lucky to have you as a mom. </p> <p>Please forgive your family members for saying what they did. It's like Ladyfingers said, there are people who can (you) and people who can't (your family members - and me, probably, if I'm honest). They love you so they want your life to be as easy as it can be - and, because they can't imagine coping themselves, they can't imagine why you'd want to bring challenge into your life. But your heart is different and you can and want to give these children the love they deserve. </p> <p>If, one day, you do adopt or foster a child with a disability, I'm sure your family would treat them the same as any other child and love them unconditionally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-special-baby#post-312588 Thu, 27 Sep 2012 09:11:54 +0000 ladyfingers 312588@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There are people who want to do this and can handle it, and people who can't (neither is wrong, it's an intensely personal thing). If you're in the first class, it doesn't matter that others you're talking to are in the second class. Of course it will be hard, but you are aware of that and it's what's in your heart to do, and if you and DH are on the same page with it and fully prepared, then I don't think you should let others dissuade you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-special-baby#post-312295 Thu, 27 Sep 2012 01:47:35 +0000 anonysquire 312295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rosie Girl: OMG how adorable! Tiny glasses, I am dying! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-special-baby#post-312293 Thu, 27 Sep 2012 01:05:14 +0000 Rosie Girl 312293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think its for everyone, but I would consider adopting a special baby. </p> <p>My cousin and her DH did. They got a little boy from China. He was deaf. They have gotten him cochlear implants, and he also now wears glasses. OMG he is a doll in his glasses! It was a perfect fit for them, and they were looking for a child like that. She works as a speech therapist, and knows sign language, so it worked out great. </p> <p>Our family all treats him the same. I think if anyone in our family had a special needs baby (adopted or biological) they would all treat them the same. </p> [attach=1589/12/mazvkr.450x600.405236_3372584044795_1474367653_n.jpg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-special-baby#post-312239 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 22:43:20 +0000 anonysquire 312239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-special-baby#post-312217 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 22:12:44 +0000 spaniellove 312217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: Having disabilities myself and knowing my child will likely have many of the same special needs, I think it could be both intensely challenging and rewarding at the same time. Most people don't really know the full range of what life is like with developmental or sensory disorders. Growing up and as an adult, you encounter a lot of attitudes ranging from patronizing to downright derogatory, but the love of a family and community can do a lot to help break down those attitudes. </p> <p>If you feel this is right for you, I think it's worth exploring further! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-special-baby#post-312212 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 22:02:48 +0000 anonysquire 312212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: How cool! What a loving person you must be! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-special-baby#post-312211 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 22:02:00 +0000 anonysquire 312211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@TurtleDoves: That is a good idea. And I know it is a commitment for the rest of my life and I am more than willing to do it. I will look into fostering programs around here. Thank you!</p> <p>@mango.sprays: Thank you! Very nice of you to say that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-special-baby#post-312210 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 22:00:32 +0000 Arden 312210@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I also want to adopt special needs babies.<br /> We have thought about taking kids with physical disabilities like hearing or vision impaired, or particularly children that are gender ambiguous since they often struggle to find homes. </p> <p>Whatever we choose, we'll try to become experts in that area and then maybe adopt more children with the same disability, so we can give them the best possible care. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-special-baby#post-312208 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 21:58:37 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 312208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: oh more more thing:) you could always try it out as a foster parent first....that way you can see what it's like before adopting the child. If you see it's not a good fit for your household, well then at least you took care of te child until he/she was adopted by someone else:) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-special-baby#post-312206 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 21:54:56 +0000 mango.sprays 312206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is wonderful and amazing of you to have that wish, and please please don't let anyone sway you away from it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-special-baby#post-312205 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 21:54:55 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 312205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I work in the social work field and have dealt with many, many,many people with disabilities and special needs from kids to adults. I always wanted to care for a SN child but once I started doing it for a living, I'd had my fill. I feel very lucky to be able to take care of them but then go home at the end of the day to life...because it is truly very exhausting both emotionally as well as physically. I'm not discouraging you! It is awwwwwesome that you have the desire but in my honest and humble opinion: I wouldn't go out seeking it I were you. I see many adult children with special needs being forced to live off disability, other federal aid &amp; their parents. It is so so tough on the entire family.<br /> Again though: it takes an angel to do it and you are an annnngel for even wanting to go for it. So many people in this world don't have the desire to help those who need it most; it's sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adopting-a-special-baby#post-312197 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 21:45:08 +0000 anonysquire 312197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Would you guys ever adopt a baby with a known disability? I told my family I would love to adopt a baby with a disability, possibily down syndrome, and they all told me the baby would be way too hard to take care of. That was the point, I would absolutely love taking care of a special baby. I don't have a whole lot of experience with disabilities except for helping out in high school, but I am a nurse so I feel confident in my medical abilities. </p> <p>I guess I was kind of taken aback because I think I would be a great fit for a special baby. But does this mean people would treat the baby different or bad? </p>