https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 15 Jul 2026 01:52:02 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoption-resources-needed#post-2750562 Wed, 21 Jun 2017 20:00:26 +0000 Amorini 2750562@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: Good to know. Thanks so much for the reminder that it can all work out! </p> <p>@T.H.O.U.: Thanks - this makes sense!!</p> <p>I'm going to share all of this info with my mom and aunt and see where this goes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoption-resources-needed#post-2750031 Wed, 21 Jun 2017 07:23:43 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2750031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Amorini: Im sure if your aunt shares the social worker/case workers contact information with you, you should be able to talk to her. </p> <p>They should be open to letting your aunt stay as a foster as long as she is willing even if she doesn't have any intention to full time adopt. </p> <p>If you are willing to adopt, I believe you can even say you are willing to adopt but only once TPR happens. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoption-resources-needed#post-2750023 Wed, 21 Jun 2017 06:59:45 +0000 Silva 2750023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Amorini: yes, she should talk to the social worker. They will have a "concurrent plan" for what happens if the bio parents can't meet goals, and if your aunt isn't feeling able to take on adoption they will need to start exploring other options.</p> <p>When you are in it it can feel like an impossible situation but I've seen lots of happy endings and hopefully either bio parents will get it together or a different family will be able to step in. ❤️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoption-resources-needed#post-2749997 Wed, 21 Jun 2017 03:02:04 +0000 Amorini 2749997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Costello: Oh my goodness! How cool! I now recall your recent post(s) when you were starting/going through the process. I just couldn't recall the bee's name! So many hugs and best wishes to you and your family as things become more settled! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoption-resources-needed#post-2749989 Wed, 21 Jun 2017 01:50:09 +0000 Costello 2749989@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Amorini: Our story is a bit of a departure from the norm and we are still in the middle of it. So much so, we have had multiple people, who do this for a living, scratching their heads. LO was born just a couple of weeks ago and we have had physical custody since that time. The legalities are tricky because our adoption is technically private. However, due to our birth mom's choices, social services has been involved. I wish I could share more details because the story is rather amazing. But, until the birth parents' rights are officially terminated, I have to be cautious. What I can say is that we have gone through the foster/adoption classes with our county several times because we always intended to adopt from foster care. We have never followed through with the whole process though. It just hasn't felt like the right time. It is obvious to me that we needed the knowledge to prepare for this LO and that we have always been meant to be his. He is, without question, the absolute light of our lives. ❤️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoption-resources-needed#post-2749983 Tue, 20 Jun 2017 23:41:18 +0000 Amorini 2749983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Costello: Thank you for sharing these thoughts. I'm so glad that your LO found you and vice versa. What a heroic rescue. :heart: Was it through a foster-adopt program? How old was he or she when you were first brought together? If you have more details on your story on HB, I can search. I'd love to hear about how it all works. Thanks so much for the hugs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoption-resources-needed#post-2749974 Tue, 20 Jun 2017 22:55:56 +0000 Costello 2749974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just wanted to offer {{hugs}}. This situation echos our story except we have no relation to our LO's birth parents. The more info that was disclosed, the more certain we were our responsibility was to that sweet little life and we needed to do everything it took to get our LO out of that mess. As noted above, everything varies by state but all agencies believe keeping families intact is the best for children. There should be a variety of services available to help your aunt raise the baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoption-resources-needed#post-2749943 Tue, 20 Jun 2017 21:20:15 +0000 Amorini 2749943@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone! I replied and that ended up somewhere other than where it was intended (who knows?!)... so we will just ignore that post if it pops up. </p> <p>@agold: Thank you so much! Very much appreciated! :heart: </p> <p>@T.H.O.U.: Thank you so much for this basic info...which shows you how much I know. Yes, my aunt has full custody but I don't think things have progressed as far as TPR... One of my concerns, if we were to somehow get involved, is what you describe here...the parents coming back into the picture. Thanks again for this info!</p> <p>@ShootingStar: Yeah, I assumed there was a process from the current situation to adoption, since even my aunt would have to go through the adoption process if she were able. I believe she must be fostering because I don't think parental rights have been terminated. The parents were visiting with strict rules per the court, but then they just...stopped. So it hasn't progressed beyond that, but I think the parents demonstrating their incapacity to parent -- and now the bio mom in jail for years --is forcing my aunt's hand. She was hoping the parents would clean up and be able to take him back one day but it's not looking good. Is the normal progression of things that the child goes directly into foster care and then into an adoption program, like Lutheran Social Services or one of those? I'm familiar with public foster-adopt programs but super fuzzy on how anything else happens.</p> <p>@Silva: Yes! Thank you for writing all of that out. I just didn't have these words. That's exactly what is happening in terms of him being in the protective care of my aunt and the bio parents failing to follow their part of the care plan. So is it the social worker that my aunt needs to open up with about her ability or not to adopt the child down the road? I think with her depression issues, it's all very murky for her on what to do. Perhaps she doesn't want to tell the social worker of what is going on for her--I'm not sure. Can my mom (her sister) talk contact the social worker on her behalf just to get the ball rolling and perhaps get some more support for my aunt? From what my mom tells me, my aunt is doing an amazing job with the LO but doesn't know how to ask for help and create a game plan--and badly needs to. Thanks again! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoption-resources-needed#post-2749926 Tue, 20 Jun 2017 20:13:58 +0000 Silva 2749926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If the baby was removed from the bio parents custody by protective services, then the baby has a social worker. That person is your best resource for any and all questions regarding the process. It varies by state, but here social workers are under mandate/a lot of pressure to find a permanent home for babies after 1 year in state protective care. They look to bio family first, to find a suitable home.<br /> Basically once a baby comes into protective care, a case plan is established, which includes goals and expectations for bio parents (engaging in treatment, maintaining sobriety, stable housing, etc.). There are timelines for these expectations, and if they aren't met, the state will move to terminate parental rights, at which point the child can be adopted.</p> <p>Again, its different in each state, so I'd encourage you (and your aunt) to reach out to the social worker. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoption-resources-needed#post-2749914 Tue, 20 Jun 2017 19:42:49 +0000 ShootingStar 2749914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I don't think your aunt can just put the baby up for adoption. Is she fostering, or have the parents rights been terminated and she she adopted the baby? I'm guessing since the baby's so young, she's fostering. In which case, I think if your aunt didn't want the baby and no one else in the family did either, the baby would probably be put in foster care. She would still have rights to see the child, but she wouldn't get to make any decisions regarding their care. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoption-resources-needed#post-2749562 Tue, 20 Jun 2017 07:46:06 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2749562@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So we recently were aware of a similar situation. </p> <p>The big thing to remember is that unfortunately until there is a full adoption, either parent can basically come back and ask for the kids back at any time through the court. So they either need to have their parental rights terminated (TPR) or they need to sign over a voluntary adoption. Even if the parent has not come around for a long time, they can still come back. </p> <p>It sounds like since the baby was taken from them (both the mother and father) the baby is a ward of the state and should receive foster care services. I believe she would basically just need to tell the services that she no longer feels she can take on the responsibility and they can start looking for a new family for the baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoption-resources-needed#post-2749520 Tue, 20 Jun 2017 00:24:34 +0000 agold 2749520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My thoughts and prayers are with you all. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoption-resources-needed#post-2749517 Mon, 19 Jun 2017 23:38:00 +0000 Amorini 2749517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sad, sad story 😭...an effed-up cousin and his effed-up girlfriend are addicts. She used hard drugs during pregnancy 😭😭😭 and their baby was rightfully taken from them and placed with the baby's grandma, my aged aunt. The baby is now four months and the parents stopped coming around. The mom was found using again shortly thereafter, violated court orders and is onto serving multiple sentences. It will be years before she is out and she has lost all rights. Same for the dad, my cousin, who is just freaking useless. Good riddance, or in DH's words: parents like that should be left in a deep cave... </p> <p>Unfortunately the whole thing is so hard on my aunt who has full custody and is hardly surviving the trials of raising an infant especially under these circumstances. The baby is healthy but has some mild effects of being born under the influence. Time will tell. My aunt is slowly coming to realize that she is struggling (she deals with bouts of depression) and has started to talk about putting the baby up for adoption, if she could remain a grandmother to the child. She lives in a rural area and isn't really aware of resources for this kind of thing and frankly I am to starting from scratch, too, to help her (from afar and with the help of my mom, her sister).</p> <p>DH and I have talked about whether we could adopt the child as our own. Our DS is 8 months so the timing is difficult, among other challenges, but this little one is part of my extended family and deserves what my boy has -- boundless love forever and ever. It just pains me for this sweet innocent one. After several conversations, we arrive at the same conclusions: we just don't think we can do right by DS or this little one, with them being so close in age, having two in daycare, having two parents with demanding jobs, and generally already feeling the strains of one LO on our marriage. One is probably where we are going to stop...(insert my IF baggage here). There are other family members who are in better positions to step in, but no one has done so yet.</p> <p>I know that there are amazing would-be parents that would walk through fire to adopt. I want so bad for them to find this little one. ❤️😭❤️<br /> Any and all adoption insight and resources to provide my aunt are appreciated. And any further suggestions on doing what I can to advocate for this child from afar would be helpful too. Basically just anything helps, including generous thoughts and prayers for the child. :heart: </p>