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<title>Hellobee Boards Topic: Adoptive Moms: Does the pain of infertility ever go away?</title>
<link>https://boards.hellobee.com/</link>
<description>Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee</description>
<language>en</language>
<pubDate>Fri, 24 Apr 2026 01:47:08 +0000</pubDate>

<item>
<title>Mrs. Polish on "Adoptive Moms: Does the pain of infertility ever go away?"</title>
<link>https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoptive-moms-does-the-pain-of-infertility-ever-go-away#post-663681</link>
<pubDate>Sun, 24 Mar 2013 10:58:13 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Mrs. Polish</dc:creator>
<guid isPermaLink="false">663681@https://boards.hellobee.com/</guid>
<description>&#60;p&#62;@loveletter: This is a very late response. I hope your adoption process is going as smoothly as possible. I can offer that throughout our adoption I didn't think much about my infertility. I was so busy getting everything ready and in order that I didn't have time. I did get frustrated when I was particularly overwhelmed because if it weren't for IF we wouldn't have had to go through it all anyway.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;That being said, when they placed my baby in my arms, every bit of infertility was worth it. I get pangs of sadness every so often because of IF, but nothing at all like before our son was born.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Infertility makes the reward so much more amazing.
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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<title>Mrs. Train on "Adoptive Moms: Does the pain of infertility ever go away?"</title>
<link>https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoptive-moms-does-the-pain-of-infertility-ever-go-away#post-606966</link>
<pubDate>Fri, 01 Mar 2013 18:47:54 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Mrs. Train</dc:creator>
<guid isPermaLink="false">606966@https://boards.hellobee.com/</guid>
<description>&#60;p&#62;@MRS. BEEMER:  so glad to have another adoptive mommy around here.  Congrats on your little one.
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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<title>Mrs. Beemer on "Adoptive Moms: Does the pain of infertility ever go away?"</title>
<link>https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoptive-moms-does-the-pain-of-infertility-ever-go-away#post-606201</link>
<pubDate>Fri, 01 Mar 2013 14:45:34 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Mrs. Beemer</dc:creator>
<guid isPermaLink="false">606201@https://boards.hellobee.com/</guid>
<description>&#60;p&#62;@ LOVELETTER: Today marks seven weeks since we met our baby boy.  The grieving of infertility does get better.  He was a few days old when we met him, and now my only grief is the time we lost - just a few days, really.  I haven't been to a baby shower in probably five years - a selfish way that I coped with grief.  But now I find myself feeling so excited for friends who are pregnant and thinking about what gifts I would like to give them.  I now feel that I can rejoice with those who are rejoicing.
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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<title>Mrs. Jacks on "Adoptive Moms: Does the pain of infertility ever go away?"</title>
<link>https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoptive-moms-does-the-pain-of-infertility-ever-go-away#post-537485</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 30 Jan 2013 18:03:01 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Mrs. Jacks</dc:creator>
<guid isPermaLink="false">537485@https://boards.hellobee.com/</guid>
<description>&#60;p&#62;@loveletter:  When you see that baby and hold him/her for the first time, I think much of the pain/loss evaporates instantly.  I can't speak from personal experience, but so so many of my friends and close family had infertility as part of their adoption journey.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Now it's just a small part of their beautiful family story!
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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<title>sarac on "Adoptive Moms: Does the pain of infertility ever go away?"</title>
<link>https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoptive-moms-does-the-pain-of-infertility-ever-go-away#post-519742</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 22 Jan 2013 15:16:33 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>sarac</dc:creator>
<guid isPermaLink="false">519742@https://boards.hellobee.com/</guid>
<description>&#60;p&#62;I can tell you that I got lucky and fertility medicine worked for me, but this was my biggest fear. Would I ever be pregnant, and give birth? Would I ever get to have that big round belly? Having my daughter healed so much of that for me. I'm having a lot of trouble having another child, and that's really hard, but having gone through it once is most of what I needed. &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;I would have mourned the loss of those experiences the rest of my life had I not had them. Even as you look forward to your adoption, please don't discount your feelings of loss.
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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<title>loveletter on "Adoptive Moms: Does the pain of infertility ever go away?"</title>
<link>https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoptive-moms-does-the-pain-of-infertility-ever-go-away#post-519050</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 22 Jan 2013 10:22:33 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>loveletter</dc:creator>
<guid isPermaLink="false">519050@https://boards.hellobee.com/</guid>
<description>&#60;p&#62;@bluestriped bee: It's been a couple of months since I originally posted this, and I am feeling less sad about the infertility.  I think it's because we're working on the nursery and a shower is being planned for us in early March.. so it's starting to feel so much more REAL that we'll meet our baby soon!  It seems like every step we make in the adoption has lessened the sadness more and more!
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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<title>BSB on "Adoptive Moms: Does the pain of infertility ever go away?"</title>
<link>https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoptive-moms-does-the-pain-of-infertility-ever-go-away#post-518108</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 21 Jan 2013 16:53:25 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>BSB</dc:creator>
<guid isPermaLink="false">518108@https://boards.hellobee.com/</guid>
<description>&#60;p&#62;@Mrs. Train:  Oh, that's good.
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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<title>Mrs. Train on "Adoptive Moms: Does the pain of infertility ever go away?"</title>
<link>https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoptive-moms-does-the-pain-of-infertility-ever-go-away#post-518101</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 21 Jan 2013 16:47:48 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Mrs. Train</dc:creator>
<guid isPermaLink="false">518101@https://boards.hellobee.com/</guid>
<description>&#60;p&#62;@bluestriped bee:  we stopped even before IUI. The day I went to the orientation at our adoption agency and decided they were the ones we wanted to go with I felt like a new person. There was still some pain but a huge burden lifted from me. I knew I would be a mom at some point and I was excited. my mood changed entirely. I had been grouchy (especially on all the hormone injections) and angry all the time. After that day it seemed so much better!!!  I just felt at peace.
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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<title>BSB on "Adoptive Moms: Does the pain of infertility ever go away?"</title>
<link>https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoptive-moms-does-the-pain-of-infertility-ever-go-away#post-518049</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 21 Jan 2013 16:12:00 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>BSB</dc:creator>
<guid isPermaLink="false">518049@https://boards.hellobee.com/</guid>
<description>&#60;p&#62;I'm on my second IUI and we decided not to pursue IVF so adoption is next.  I'm wondering this as well.
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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<title>Mrs. Train on "Adoptive Moms: Does the pain of infertility ever go away?"</title>
<link>https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoptive-moms-does-the-pain-of-infertility-ever-go-away#post-432441</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 04 Dec 2012 23:55:39 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Mrs. Train</dc:creator>
<guid isPermaLink="false">432441@https://boards.hellobee.com/</guid>
<description>&#60;p&#62;@loveletter:  I am so excited for you.  Even in the early stages there is so much hope and excitement.  Keep us posted on your journey. &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;@Mrs.VW:  congrats on your steps towards adoption.  I am so excited for you.  Adoption was such a blessing in my life.
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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<title>Mrs.VW on "Adoptive Moms: Does the pain of infertility ever go away?"</title>
<link>https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoptive-moms-does-the-pain-of-infertility-ever-go-away#post-431352</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 04 Dec 2012 13:32:02 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Mrs.VW</dc:creator>
<guid isPermaLink="false">431352@https://boards.hellobee.com/</guid>
<description>&#60;p&#62;@loveletter:  I can't wait to follow your journey - I just THIS MORNING scheduled our first appointment at our prospective adoption agency.  It's not until January but I'm already really excited.  We still have yet to make the final decision on if we'll 100% do adoption but I'm loving it more and more everyday.  I know what you mean though, some days I feel like - YES! We have a new plan, we're moving ahead!  Others I think - Really?  ANOTHER pregnant friend!?!?  But I trust that each day will get better and easier.  Good luck - I'll be thinking of you!  (And watching you as a guide! :))
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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<title>loveletter on "Adoptive Moms: Does the pain of infertility ever go away?"</title>
<link>https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoptive-moms-does-the-pain-of-infertility-ever-go-away#post-419502</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 28 Nov 2012 14:25:00 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>loveletter</dc:creator>
<guid isPermaLink="false">419502@https://boards.hellobee.com/</guid>
<description>&#60;p&#62;Thanks for all the support everyone!  I'm starting to feel less of a weirdo for having these feelings :)  I'm looking forward to happier days ahead.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;@Oceanis723: We have two all-day classes in December and then we will be starting our homestudy.  So we are still in the early stages, but so so excited to just get the ball rolling.  Our first class is next Thursday and I'm so excited I can hardly stand it!
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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<title>ValentineMommy on "Adoptive Moms: Does the pain of infertility ever go away?"</title>
<link>https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoptive-moms-does-the-pain-of-infertility-ever-go-away#post-409148</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 21 Nov 2012 10:37:19 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>ValentineMommy</dc:creator>
<guid isPermaLink="false">409148@https://boards.hellobee.com/</guid>
<description>&#60;p&#62;I personally am not infertile, BUT, I was adopted.  My parents could not have children.  I am totally answering for my mother (and father) here, but I guarantee if you asked them, they would say that once you have your baby in your arms, biological or not, the pain will go away and you'll never look back!&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;There's no reason you can't have a shower and all the other fun baby stuff as well!  My mom didn't have one for me (they have ONE days notice that they could come get me!), but they did have one for my brother.  &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;I think what you're going through and feeling is completely normal!  Best of luck to you!
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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<title>Mrs. Train on "Adoptive Moms: Does the pain of infertility ever go away?"</title>
<link>https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoptive-moms-does-the-pain-of-infertility-ever-go-away#post-408838</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 21 Nov 2012 02:45:51 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Mrs. Train</dc:creator>
<guid isPermaLink="false">408838@https://boards.hellobee.com/</guid>
<description>&#60;p&#62;It does get better.  I had several events that helped me get over my grief.  The first day we agreed we were going to adopt and went to our orientation I was so relieved that I was on the path to motherhood I was so overjoyed.  But then as the process continued and more friends announced pregnancies or showers I still had times when I cried for experiences I wouldn't have.  The second time was when we brought our boy home.   It didn't matter that I never felt him kick or would never breastfeed him.  He was mine and that's all that mattered.  &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;I'm sure as you go along your journey you will have ups and downs but in general I think the sadness from infertility fades.  It might always hurt a little but when you have your baby it will just seem distant.  &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;How is your adoption going?
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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<title>Mrs. Blue on "Adoptive Moms: Does the pain of infertility ever go away?"</title>
<link>https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoptive-moms-does-the-pain-of-infertility-ever-go-away#post-408760</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 20 Nov 2012 22:55:20 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Mrs. Blue</dc:creator>
<guid isPermaLink="false">408760@https://boards.hellobee.com/</guid>
<description>&#60;p&#62;One of my besties had a 5-year struggle with infertility before they adopted.  Before it was so hard for her to hear that anyone got pregnant, to go to a shower, even just to be around babies sometimes.  When her adopted son was about one, she told me that none of that really bothers her anymore.  She is just so in love with her son and believes that the struggles were part of the plan that led to him.  They are waiting to get chosen for their second adopted child now.  I'm sure there are moments that are difficult still, and I know while they were in the process of adoption it was still agonizing.   From being around her and hearing her talk, I would say it must get a lot easier after you get your baby.  Hang in there!
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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<title>jedeve on "Adoptive Moms: Does the pain of infertility ever go away?"</title>
<link>https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoptive-moms-does-the-pain-of-infertility-ever-go-away#post-408615</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 20 Nov 2012 21:01:43 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>jedeve</dc:creator>
<guid isPermaLink="false">408615@https://boards.hellobee.com/</guid>
<description>&#60;p&#62;I feel like it would be completely normal to still mourn not being able to have the experience of pregnancy. It is a separate thing than being a mother. But you will experience your own highs and lows and awesome experiences in the adoption process too. It's a different road to motherhood, and wishing you had taken a different one doesn't mean you won't love your child any less!
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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<title>Mrs. Pen on "Adoptive Moms: Does the pain of infertility ever go away?"</title>
<link>https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoptive-moms-does-the-pain-of-infertility-ever-go-away#post-408608</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 20 Nov 2012 20:57:08 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Mrs. Pen</dc:creator>
<guid isPermaLink="false">408608@https://boards.hellobee.com/</guid>
<description>&#60;p&#62;I'm so sorry to hear that :( if it's any consolation, I often feel guilt on my end and I wish I could somehow &#34;share&#34; baby dust with friends who can't get pregnant :( I almost hate myself for getting pregnant so easily when others struggle for years and years and sometimes it never happens. I'm sooo so sorry... I cannot even begin to imagine what that would feel like.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;But I totally love that you're adopting! I definitely want to adopt one day too and I think it's one of the greatest things you can do.&#60;br /&#62;
You can for sure still have a baby shower though!! A couple of the bloggers had really cool adoption baby showers and I think that's so special!
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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<title>tororojo on "Adoptive Moms: Does the pain of infertility ever go away?"</title>
<link>https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoptive-moms-does-the-pain-of-infertility-ever-go-away#post-408596</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 20 Nov 2012 20:49:49 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>tororojo</dc:creator>
<guid isPermaLink="false">408596@https://boards.hellobee.com/</guid>
<description>&#60;p&#62;I'm sorry to hear about your struggles but excited for your adoption! I don't have experience here but I'll bump for you. :)
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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<title>loveletter on "Adoptive Moms: Does the pain of infertility ever go away?"</title>
<link>https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/adoptive-moms-does-the-pain-of-infertility-ever-go-away#post-408412</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 20 Nov 2012 17:51:33 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>loveletter</dc:creator>
<guid isPermaLink="false">408412@https://boards.hellobee.com/</guid>
<description>&#60;p&#62;While I am so excited and thankful to be in the adoption process, I still have hard days in regards to infertility.  &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;I don't cry as much as I used to, but I still have weepy days every now and then, it's still hurts to find out another friend is pregnant, baby showers can be hard, etc.  I feel the pain fading a little as we get further in the process... but it's hard sometimes.  Will it ever completely go away?
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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