https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 03 May 2026 08:05:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-for-friend-with-aggressive-4-yo-son#post-2889236 Thu, 27 Jun 2019 11:46:25 +0000 kiddosc 2889236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If she doesn't think she needs to seek professional help after he's been sent home and kicked out of schools... then she is a major part of the problem. Occasionally hitting friends, or pushing a kid at school once seem like more normal sassy behavior. But it's reached a point where it's consistent and he's gaining a reputation for being aggressive and she needs to head it off now. I think your suggestion was spot on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-for-friend-with-aggressive-4-yo-son#post-2889191 Wed, 26 Jun 2019 21:12:34 +0000 irene 2889191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmm.... go see the pediatrician and hopefully get referred to a specialist? It is amazing she hasn't done that already as it seems to be a very clear problem? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-for-friend-with-aggressive-4-yo-son#post-2889177 Wed, 26 Jun 2019 19:37:47 +0000 DesertDreams88 2889177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As a parent of a similar child, a couple of things have helped:<br /> - practicing alternative behaviors for common triggers ("when we're mad, we can say "NO" and shake our fists and leave" or "if someone makes you mad, come get mama")<br /> - telling him what TO do, vs what NOT to do<br /> - we physically restrain him in our laps if he misbehaves out in public and we don't have other discipline options / "time out" spots<br /> - doing a quick countdown "3-2-1 let go!" "3-2-1 back off!"<br /> - reading the book "The Spirited Child" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-for-friend-with-aggressive-4-yo-son#post-2889173 Wed, 26 Jun 2019 18:10:28 +0000 Kemma 2889173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’d definitely get a medical opinion just in case there’s something going on that needs to be dealt with but apart from that the aggression could be related to so many things!</p> <p>I’d perhaps ask the following questions:</p> <p>Is this aggression a new thing?<br /> Any major transitions (new baby / house / daycare etc?<br /> How much screen time does he get?<br /> What does he eat and does he have any allergies?<br /> Do Mum and Dad both work long hours?<br /> How does he sleep?<br /> What does discipline look like in their house?<br /> What does discipline look like at school?<br /> Does he get plenty of exercise and time outside?<br /> Does he have any other quirks?<br /> Does he have any physical issues? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-for-friend-with-aggressive-4-yo-son#post-2889166 Wed, 26 Jun 2019 16:25:09 +0000 LadyDi 2889166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you gave the right advice, so if she's put off by it I wouldn't worry about it too much. If she didn't want to hear it then she shouldn't have asked. I have a friend whose son has very similar behavior. She's never directly asked me what I thought, so I haven't offered my opinion (and she actually laughs off some of his behavior, which is also concerning, but I digress), but if she did then I would probably tell her to talk to a pediatrician or child psychologist for next steps. TBH I am hesitant about letting our kids play together because I know he can be aggressive and violent and gets separated from kids at school a lot. It's really hard to know what to say though, especially when your own kids don't display that behavior. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-for-friend-with-aggressive-4-yo-son#post-2889164 Wed, 26 Jun 2019 16:19:15 +0000 Autumnmama79 2889164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CatchAFallingStar: My advice to a friend would be to get her son to the paediatrician, share whats been going on and ask for some guidance from there. The dr can point her in the direction of community supports, therapies, counselling, recommendations for medication, etc. This must be a really hard place for your friend to be in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-for-friend-with-aggressive-4-yo-son#post-2889163 Wed, 26 Jun 2019 16:13:44 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2889163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My friend has shared with me over the past year that her son's aggressive behavior is causing a lot of problems not only with his school, but within her group of friends at playdates, etc. He has hit two of her friends' kids, he pushed a little girl down into gravel at school.. he's been sent home from school multiple times and most recently has been kicked out of a day camp because of his aggression. She has lost at least 2 friends because they refuse to be around her son with their kids. I see her once in a while, but usually only with her daughter when her son is in school. So, I haven't experienced him firsthand. We are not super close friends, but she does share this stuff and asks me for advice. A couple days ago, I told her that maybe she could consider counseling for him. I could tell she was put off by that and I haven't heard much from her since. Anyway... what would your advice be? I have a 4YO girl who definitely has some attitude problems, but I have never had to deal with any aggression or violent behavior (thank goodness). </p> <p>Thank you in advance! :heart: </p>