https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 02 May 2026 03:53:23 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1539498 Wed, 02 Apr 2014 10:53:01 +0000 London Mama 1539498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Shellvee: sorry to hear that :sad: , big hugs </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1531088 Sat, 29 Mar 2014 05:23:24 +0000 ShellVee 1531088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm glad you told her before hand - I had a friend tell me she was 13 weeks pregnant when I caught up with her a few months ago (we had just failed on our 12th TTC cycle :( ). Anyway I feel terrible about the way I dealt with it, I nearly started crying and then ended up having to tell her (&amp; the other friend who was there) that I was infertile because of my sh*tty reaction to it all. A bit of time to process alone would've been easier so I'm glad you gave your friend that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1520842 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 17:07:04 +0000 BSB 1520842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@London Mama: glad it went well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1516210 Mon, 24 Mar 2014 05:48:36 +0000 Cherrybee 1516210@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so glad it well. It was very thoughtful of you to consider her feelings when you broke the news. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1516195 Mon, 24 Mar 2014 04:33:37 +0000 London Mama 1516195@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just a quick update, I saw my friend on Sunday and it went very well. I do believe she was genuinely happy for me and I feel lucky to have a friend who is able to be so supportive despite her own difficult situation. I keep hoping and praying it's her turn next. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1514718 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 22:15:36 +0000 Mrs. Pinata 1514718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@London Mama: You're such a sweet, sensitive friend! Just know that although your pregnancy may "make" her sad just because she wishes she could be pregnant, it doesn't mean she's not happy for you. There may just be some awkwardness. I hope you have a good time together and I'm so glad you emailed her and that it went well! It's such a sticky situation and she's lucky to have a thoughtful friend like you. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1513735 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 09:40:38 +0000 Happygal 1513735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@London Mama: that's really good to hear. I saw a thread once where people said they hid the IF boards from their HB page. I get it the reasoning, but it is nice to know that there are members still reading and learning from the IF boards, even if they're not going through it themselves! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1513694 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 09:18:42 +0000 London Mama 1513694@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Happygal: thank you. I credit the IF boards on hellobee with opening my eyes to how difficult the road to a baby can be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1513579 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 08:11:45 +0000 Happygal 1513579@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@London Mama: good to hear it went over well. You're a good friend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1513457 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 04:06:22 +0000 London Mama 1513457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you for the advice everyone, I appreciate your input. I did what you suggested and emailed my friend yesterday, I was very open and said there's something I wanted to tell her before we see each other and that I'm pregnant. She replied not long after with a very nice email congratulating me and saying a few things about their situation.</p> <p>Thanks again everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1513282 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 21:39:38 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 1513282@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@London Mama: I think you should email her before you meet up. That gives her time to process it on her own without you there. I think it's important to give her that private time. Congratulations to you!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1512697 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 15:53:51 +0000 gingerbebe 1512697@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@London Mama: Having been on the other side of this, I would e-mail/text her ahead of time to give her a chance to process the news. My BIL and his wife got pregnant while we were going through our issues and BIL called my DH to tell him, seemingly because it would be easier to break the news that way? I don't know. In any event, we were super happy for them but I WAS glad I had 10 minutes to process my feelings of "oh I wish we were pregnant too" before reaching out to my SIL over text. It was clear from her response that she was relieved we were fine with it and that she had worried about how to break the news. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1512647 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 15:22:42 +0000 SweetiePie 1512647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree with emailing beforehand. I have best friends and sister that got pregnant while we were struggling and while I was of course happy for them it was still hard to hear. I'm glad I found out over email/text so that I had some time to process and react the way I needed to at first.<br /> If she does cancel, don't take it personally! She'll come around she just needs to let it sink in.<br /> You're doing a good job already :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1512168 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 13:06:45 +0000 mrsrain 1512168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It took us longer than usual to conceived. We were about to start fertility testing when we got our BFP! That said, I would have wanted to be told on the phone or in an e-mail ahead of time. That would give her time to process (and grieve a little) and then pull herself together before you arrive. Even when you are genuinely happy for the person who is pregnant, it is a reminder that you are NOT pregnant... good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1512113 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 12:56:27 +0000 Snowdrop 1512113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely tell her over email and don't even allude to the fact it happened quickly, she doesn't need to know.<br /> P.S you sound like a very thoughtful friend :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1511971 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 12:15:48 +0000 2PeasinaPod 1511971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@London Mama: There have been a few threads around this topic if you want to try to do a search for them! You're very thoughtful to care so much about your friend's feelings. As someone who has been in her shoes, it's appreciated more than she'll let you know.</p> <p>I was TCT for a year and a half with 2 miscarriages before we had LO. There were pregnant people around me everywhere. There seemed to be a new announcement every week, and it really started to get to me. I preferred to be told over email or over the phone so that I could process my feelings before seeing that person. It's not that I didn't want to be happy, but it's so hard to hear about others' success in something you're failing so miserably at. Having friends email or call gave me time to have a pity party for one without them seeing it. I never wanted to make my friends feel guilty for having something that I couldn't have, but I also needed to get some of my own feelings out on the situation before I saw that person.</p> <p>I had a lot of instances where someone told me in person, and while I appeared happy, had to excuse myself. My emotions were just too much to handle at that time, and would have just appreciated the email or phone call beforehand.</p> <p>Thanks again for being such a thoughtful friend...and congratulations :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1511939 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 12:06:12 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1511939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@London Mama: I think the point is don't "brag" about how it happened so quickly or on the first try.</p> <p>* In quotes because obviously you wouln'dt brag about something like that but its just a detail better left not mentioned. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1511934 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 12:05:28 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 1511934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Here's my advice: <a href="http://www.hellobee.com/2013/05/24/how-to-tell-your-infertile-friend-that-youre-pregnant/" rel="nofollow">http://www.hellobee.com/2013/05/24/how-to-tell-your-infertile-friend-that-youre-pregnant/</a> : ) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1511901 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 11:54:50 +0000 London Mama 1511901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>And it wasn't unplanned, if we conceived the day I think we did I pretty much forced DH to DTD. He was very hungover poor thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1511894 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 11:53:03 +0000 London Mama 1511894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae, Shutterbug: also very good points. She knows we were planning on TTC this year but it happened a bit sooner than that so she might be surprised. I think you're right that it's better to give her some time to process in private, the last thing I want to do is make it harder on her or force her to 'fake' a happy face for me. </p> <p>I'm secretly hoping she's got her BFP since last time I saw her about 6 weeks ago. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1511887 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 11:51:27 +0000 littlek 1511887@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@London Mama: Definitely don't say it was unplanned or a surprise even if it was. That stings.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1511879 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 11:49:22 +0000 BSB 1511879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@London Mama: Oh, if your pregnancy was unplanned. I would probably leave that part out. For her sake. </p> <p>Oh, I'm not sure about in person, email or phone call. I guess it would depend on what was said. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1511876 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 11:48:18 +0000 London Mama 1511876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sophs mama: I'm leaning towards sending her an email tonight. We're due to have brunch on Sunday so it'll give her some time to react. She's a great friend and I'm sure she'll be happy for me, but sometimes pregnancy announcements around you can make the difficulty and disappointment of your own struggles more intense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1511873 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 11:47:52 +0000 littlek 1511873@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd prefer to hear over a phone call so I could process my feelings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1511867 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 11:46:34 +0000 Shutterbug 1511867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you're off to a good start just by acknowledging that what is happy news for you probably won't be for her (at least at first). I'd generally rather hear it on the phone or via email so that I can get my emotions out alone and not make the pregnant friend feel guilty. I think people are all very different in how they handle this kind of stuff though, and maybe your friend will be ok hearing it in person. Definitely don't try to hide it because she'll most likely be upset later when she does find out. Does she know you've been TTC? If not, I think in person might catch her off guard too much. At least, that's how I think I'd feel. Good luck, you're a good friend! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1511860 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 11:45:09 +0000 Mae 1511860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would definitely tell her BEFORE you meet her. I inadvertently did this (told a good friend I was pregnant and she was struggling with IF, although I didn't know at the time that she was). I found out after and felt terrible-- especially because I thought I'd "botched it" by just blurting it out online rather than telling her in person. She told me she much preferred to get the news via email/online so that she had some private time to process and didn't have to be "on" immediately. Not that she isn't/wasn't happy for us because of course she is. But it's also hard to hear and I think it would've been hard if she had to immediately put on a happy "omg I'm so excited for you!" face. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1511858 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 11:44:31 +0000 Sophs Mama 1511858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think you should have to tiptoe around, personally. You can still be sensitive to her situation without feeling like you've done something wrong by being pregnant. I'm sure she will be happy for you, despite her issue with infertility. If it were me, I would tell her before your visit, but I wouldn't try to diminish my happiness about it. If she really is a good friend of yours, she should be happy for you. That's just me though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1511853 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 11:43:47 +0000 London Mama 1511853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bluestriped Bee: good point. We're not doing a big announcement to the world, no Facebook, no mass email, no text. We're telling family and friends as we see them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1511849 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 11:42:15 +0000 London Mama 1511849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Leialou: yes, she's a very close friend and I always tell her in person. Should I tell her beforehand to give her a chance to process, or just wait until we're face to face? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-needed-telling-if-friend-im-pregnant#post-1511845 Fri, 21 Mar 2014 11:41:07 +0000 Mrs tartan 1511845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Following, I'm in this exact situation with a friend who has been trying for 2 years and I'm also 13 weeks pregnant (actually 12+4 but will be 13+5 when I see her) </p>