https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 05 Apr 2026 07:53:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-grandparent-daycare#post-491829 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 15:53:40 +0000 winniebee 491829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom travels an hour to come and watch my son one day a week - it saves us $100 / day in daycare.</p> <p>We don't have any sort of formal agreement. She does it for free. I get her a nice gift card from my son every few months (coffee card, gas card). She respects his schedule and tries to incorporate anything I want done. She also cleans and does errands for me! It's amazing and I'm very very grateful. She doesn't write down his schedule (intake/naps/diapers) but at the end of the day we generally discuss what happened. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-grandparent-daycare#post-491811 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 15:47:58 +0000 Lozza 491811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents just moved to our state, and so we've been thinking about this.<br /> My son is currently 21 months and has been in daycare full-time since he was 12 weeks old. My mom would probably watch him full-time if we asked, but I would not want that. If my daycare had a part-time option, I think we'd probably consider that, but I wouldn't want my mom watching him 40 hours (+) per week.<br /> For one thing, I think LO benefits a lot from the social aspect of daycare and the routines and all the new stuff they learn. My mom is great and does a wonderful job watching LO, but I think they'd end up doing more or less the same stuff a lot of the time. LO adores other kids and learns a lot from the older kids at school in particular. Also, while my parents try to stick to our rules and generally do a good job, they're bigger pushovers than I'd like- they're much quicker to give him a pacifier, or let him watch a video on their phones, or give him crackers instead of something healthier, etc. than I'd like. It's stuff that doesn't bother me when it happens occasionally, but would bother me if they were watching him full-time.<br /> Once we have a second baby at some point, I think my mom WILL watch our next LO probably 3 days a week for several months. I'm thrilled about my mom being around to care for an infant- when what I'm hoping for is a caretaker who will pretty much just love and comfort and interact with LO in any way, my mom is perfect. That said, I still wouldn't want to ask her to do it 5 days a week, even though I'm sure she would if I asked. If she watched (any) LO every day, I'd feel bad about also asking her to ever babysit at night, or on a weekend, or overnight, and those are all things that I really appreciate right now because that's what allows me to go out with my husband and do grown up stuff, or to take classes or go out to events that make me feel like I'm taking care of myself as a person and not just a mom. Also, I'd feel bad if I knew that providing childcare was limiting what SHE was able to do with her life... like I said, my mom is a pushover, and I wouldn't trust her to tell me if she were sad about LO care interfering with other stuff she had to do or wanted to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-grandparent-daycare#post-491802 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 15:45:45 +0000 jennylynn 491802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom and MIL watch LO for us when we are at work. I am and always have been super grateful that we've been able to keep LO out of daycare because of their help, but I *really really* struggled with them in the beginning. The biggest issues we ran into were boundary issues, especially in the beginning, with my mom especially. She would ignore what I asked her to do and that really got to me. It's like she was only thinking of me as her daughter, and not a mother. We had a few issues that ticked me off bad enough to talk to her about it (she's not good at being confronted), and after some initial hurt feelings, things are going great now. The only problem I had with MIL is that when she had LO, she felt like I shouldn't be concerned about what was going on, and should pretty much just let her take over. Like, I always call or text to check in on LO in the evening (no matter if its my mom or MIL) and that offended her. She thought it meant I didn't trust her. </p> <p>I think it's difficult sometimes for our parents (especially moms) to step back and let you be the mom. It was a learning experience for us but at 9 months pp, things are going great and everyone seems to have adjusted to their new roles. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-grandparent-daycare#post-491705 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 15:15:05 +0000 leelee 491705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom watches DD during the day and I couldn't be any more grateful for it. We never had any sort of agreement, it was just assumed from the beginning that she would be watching DD when I went back to work. She has her on a great schedule and sticks to it. It's great getting advice and once we started DD on solids my mom even began making baby food! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-grandparent-daycare#post-490578 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 09:20:59 +0000 Mrs. Blue 490578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Subscribing. My mom will be watching our little guys until they can get into daycare in September. My MIL will take two or three weeks as well. I'm mostly nervous about (1) the lines between parents and grandparents being blurred since they will be taking care of them so much, (2) having to tell our moms how we want things done, not to do certain things, etc., and (3) the fact that they both live out of town and will have to stay at our house during the week while they are here....that's a lot of time with our moms living with us! I'm secretly hoping spots will open up in our daycare for the summer, even though it would save us several thousand dollars to be able to put off starting formal daycare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-grandparent-daycare#post-490316 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 00:27:59 +0000 Pink Champagne 490316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL watches my son 1-2 days per week in her home. Other days, we have a sitter come to the house.<br /> Obviously, this saves us an incredible amount of money, because she watches him for free.<br /> So far, it's been great. He might not be getting tons of tummy time, but she always texts me to tell me that they were singing or dancing around the house, or that he's taking a nap, or sends me pictures of him playing in his bouncy chair that he has there.<br /> I think not being so official is the way to go... it's family, after all. :) Think of it as bonding time with grandma that also saves you money. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-grandparent-daycare#post-490244 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 23:15:20 +0000 DillonLion 490244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HabesBabe: Thanks for your perspective! Perhaps not being so "Official" about it might be a good idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-grandparent-daycare#post-490209 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 23:00:09 +0000 HabesBabe 490209@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: We currently have this arrangement with my mom, but slightly "easier" because I work from home 95% of the time.</p> <p>We didn't have a real family meeting or sit-down to discuss the "expectations" because I feel like it's hard to TELL my mom what do to because<br /> a) she is my mom and<br /> b) she's doing this for free! and<br /> c) i think i would hurt her feelings by having an "official" agreement... our relationship has been rocky the past few years, too, so i didn't want to offend her. she WANTS to help and doesn't see it as a "formal" arrangement, and if i sat her down, i think it would be more of a "employee/employer relationship</p> <p>She's older, as well, and her health isn't the best (she actually came over later today and yesterday because she had taken some pain medication for her arthritis and it made her too drowsy to drive or take care of LO). We do pay for her car expenses (insurance, gas, registration, and maintenance) since she doesn't go anywhere other than to our house and back.</p> <p>So far, so good-- I mean, there are a few things I would like to change (she watches a lot of CNN/MSNBC and doesn't read to LO often or walk her a lot, but then again, she is in pain a lot), but otherwise, it's a great arrangement. The hubs and I get "free" childcare (although nothing is really FREE), and LO and my mom get a great grandmother/granddaughter relationship, something that I never had. Oh! And my mom also speaks Vietnamese to LO, so she's learning a 2nd language (I only speak VNmese to LO when the hubs isn't around, so she wouldn't be as exposed/immersed in it if it wasn't for my mom). And ultimately, she does only what she thinks is in the best interest for LO, which is something I couldn't trust a nanny/daycare provider to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-grandparent-daycare#post-490129 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 22:32:44 +0000 heffalump 490129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: I feel like if you go into it with the understanding that it might not work due to health, which it seems like you are, there shouldnt be hurt feelings. As for finances.... There's not much you can do...... Is there? I would just try to save as much as you can while you have your mom watching your lo. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-grandparent-daycare#post-490086 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 22:15:46 +0000 DillonLion 490086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: my mom is also doing it for free. I meant financially in terms of her watching part time saves us money at the daycare, but if her health declines or she can't take care of LO for some other reason we will need to compensate for that in our budget so we can afford more time at the daycare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-grandparent-daycare#post-490075 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 22:12:52 +0000 heffalump 490075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom is starting to watch my niece on Monday. But she's doing it for free. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-grandparent-daycare#post-490001 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 21:42:55 +0000 daniellemybelle 490001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is something I would love to do if my mom was game (she says she's not, though, haha)! I think open communication is important. Maybe weekly "family meetings" when you talk about how things are going? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-grandparent-daycare#post-489920 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 21:12:16 +0000 Bao 489920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have an arrangement like this, but my friend does. Her mom watches their LO part time and then her MIL watches their LO the other days. She is having a great experience with her mother, but bad one with MIL and they are considering finding someone else for the days MIL was watching her, because it just isn't working out. I say give it a try, and then go from there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-grandparent-daycare#post-489912 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 21:07:34 +0000 DillonLion 489912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Anyone have any advice for those of you who have parents or in laws providing childcare while both parents work?</p> <p>We are seriously considering having my mom help part time caring for our LO and have her attend daycare for the other half of the time. </p> <p>Our relationship has been a little rocky recently and she isn't in the greatest of health, but is a very loving and nurturing woman who would give my child a lot of love while I have to be at work. But I know we would need some kind of official agreement in place because there is a child and lots of financial concerns involved and I don't want there to be misunderstandings or hurt feelings if possible.</p> <p>If any of you have an arrangement like this, I would love to hear your experiences. Thanks! </p>