https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 08:26:53 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-parenting-a-very-cautious-child#post-2135744 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 19:56:30 +0000 Corduroy 2135744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My cautious LO is 25 months and just discovered climbing. It was very similar to the way she waited to take her first steps at 17 months and then practically ran the same day. She's very cautious and needs to know she can do something before she'll try. </p> <p>She started climbing after we had a play date with a climber of the same age. She watched the girl over the course of an hour or two before she attempted to do what she was doing. I think the play date just came at the right time. It may have helped that the girls were being naughty (climbing over the back of the couch to land in the playpen). Her friend was getting a lot of attention from her mom by being scolded. I was sitting back hoping my LO would just attempt it.</p> <p>Sounds like the childcare you have lined up will help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-parenting-a-very-cautious-child#post-2135693 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 19:29:06 +0000 MrsF 2135693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: @Mamasig: Thanks for the perspective, ladies :happy: I think you're right that HB LOs tend to be trained earlier than some that I know IRL. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-parenting-a-very-cautious-child#post-2135511 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 16:24:53 +0000 Mamasig 2135511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: I agree. In my circle of friends/family, the majority of kids weren't potty trained until around 3.5 or so. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-parenting-a-very-cautious-child#post-2135464 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 15:48:22 +0000 yoursilverlining 2135464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsF: LO will be 3 in June and we are working on potty training now. We waited until LO really embraced the idea on her own and came to us with wanting to use the potty (she’s shown cues for months, but we were not going to push until she more than just showed interest/cues). LO is extremely reward centered, and she wants underpants like one of her little bffs. Well, I just told her that in order to get underpants, she can only use the potty. We also do a sticker chart with reward at the end of each chart. She is very motivated for stickers, so it’s been working well. I don’t push it though, if she doesn’t want to use the potty, I don’t force it. I’ve talked to our ped a few times about potty training and he takes a laid back approach. Many kids are not potty trained until they are 3 , 4 or even 5 years old – it just seems like everyone has their kid potty trained by 18 months on HB sometimes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-parenting-a-very-cautious-child#post-2135462 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 15:47:04 +0000 MrsF 2135462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamasig: yeah - I should probably just forget it for the moment. I don't know why it's in the front of my mind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-parenting-a-very-cautious-child#post-2135448 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 15:32:33 +0000 Mamasig 2135448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsF: No - he will be 31 months this month (I had to count since I no longer think of months for him). We have attempted but he isn't really interested and I don't want to force. I ask him if he wants to try. He usually says no. If he says yes, I put him on it and within a few minutes he wants off without having done anything. He has done it a few times when we 1st introduced it but nothing since. The teacher does the same thing at school. I feel like over the past few months, he's progressed in terms of telling me when he's wet or dirty, so in time he'll "get it." My expectations are also low. I didn't anticipate him really being ready to potty train until around 3. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-parenting-a-very-cautious-child#post-2135368 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 14:38:59 +0000 MrsF 2135368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swurlygurl: Thank you for sharing that experience! I'm sorry it's been difficult for you :sad: I'm worried about traumatizing M as well so it's really helpful to hear that the 3 day method was not a good fit. </p> <p>Yesterday M asked to wear underwear out of the blue (she had been resisting about a month ago and I haven't been pushing it). She was so happy running around in the underwear and then of course immediately peed in them and freaked out, asking for a diaper. I got her to sit on the potty for a few minutes watching a video but of course she had just peed so nothing and she wanted her diaper back on after that. I wanted to embrace her interest in the underwear but I think I'll give it a while of not mentioning it or I'm worried it'll turn into a power struggle. Ugh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-parenting-a-very-cautious-child#post-2135354 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 14:31:06 +0000 swurlygurl 2135354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsF: No - I meant to touch on this in my initial response! She is 27 months and SO ready, asks me to change her after almost every pee/poop. But I attempted the 3-day method one weekend and seriously traumatized her. Not having her comfort of a diaper was awful for her. She eventually got semi-comfortable in her underwear (but I have also had those around for 8 months, so she was familiar with them) but was perfectly fine just peeing in them. So then I had her bare-bottomed and she flipped out. She wouldn't even move without diaper/undies on, and ended up holding it for like 4 hours. </p> <p>So, I do not recommend the 3-day method for this personality type!</p> <p>ETA: I gave up, obviously, and am not sure how to continue. Now if I even mention her undies or the toilet she starts sobbing. Before I could get her to at least sit on the floor toilet while I was going to the bathroom - now she won't even come in the bathroom with me :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-parenting-a-very-cautious-child#post-2135349 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 14:29:21 +0000 charlotte 2135349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsF: we haven't. I don't think he is physically ready yet so I am not going to push it. He's going to be starting a toddler program right at age 2.5 for a few days a week and they help with sitting on the potty before each diaper change to transition to potty training. I'm crossing my fingers that will help. He just turned 2 last month and I am still helping with dressing and undressing, in and out of tub, in and out of car, and he's still in his crib with no signs of climbing out. I posted a thread the other day wondering when kids normally did all these things alone because I wasnt sure if I am babying him too much but there was a range of answers that made me feel like he was in an okay spot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-parenting-a-very-cautious-child#post-2135311 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 14:14:00 +0000 MrsF 2135311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swurlygurl: @Mamasig: @yoursilverlining: @Rockies11: @charlotte: </p> <p>Not quite sure on everyone's ages, but have any of you potty trained yet? I just can't imagine how we will help her to embrace something so new without lots of drama and it's very hard for me to picture her getting there on her own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-parenting-a-very-cautious-child#post-2135306 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 14:11:20 +0000 MrsF 2135306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rockies11: I feel like I walk a fine line between encouraging her and being understanding of her anxieties. Like you mentioned with your husband, I don't want to push her too far out of her comfort zone, but its definitely a balance. I also have to check myself to make sure I'm not just pushing her because I'm a little embarrassed to have the only 2.5 year old who isn't joining in on the fun. It's hard to admit it, but I can't pretend that it's never a factor. </p> <p>I like how you mentioned doing the same activities and going to the same places. It was making me crazy that M wouldn't slide down off of a chair at the museum this morning when she can get down off of taller chairs at home. I have to remember that she's in a different environment and doesn't feel as safe I guess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-parenting-a-very-cautious-child#post-2135301 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 14:09:27 +0000 charlotte 2135301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO has low tone and was a late walker (after regular PT). He's always been cautious about physical things and is used to having us offer a hand. I have definitely worried about it lately but noticed after Mother's Day out the other day (he goes 1x per week) that he was much more independent than usual. i.e. I wanted to carry him across the parking lot because it was super icy and he firmly insisted "walk!!" That is pretty much opposite of his usual personality and I believe it is a result of spending the day with more independent kids and wanting to do things by himself like they do. So in short, I agree with those who said preschool will help...and am hoping it's the case for us too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-parenting-a-very-cautious-child#post-2135296 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 14:07:31 +0000 Mamasig 2135296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsF: in my experience, they are totally different children in school. Positive peer pressure at its finest! He eats well there and naps. She may surprise you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-parenting-a-very-cautious-child#post-2135295 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 14:06:48 +0000 MrsF 2135295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: This sounds so much like my daughter! I am anticipating that we will have to babyproof things for J that we never thought to do with M. She really never gets into anything. I like the idea of "big girl moves" - she definitely likes being a "big girl" - even if she doesn't act like it! We try to give lots of praise for the progress that she does make. </p> <p>I'm glad to hear that she does well at school. I worry that we've held her back by not having her in a group setting. We do playdates and things but she doesn't have many peers to nudge her along :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-parenting-a-very-cautious-child#post-2135287 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 14:03:03 +0000 Rockies11 2135287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have an extremely cautious almost 2 year old, same issues. She won't walk on new surfaces, try new things, and she gets freaked out by a leaf on the ground, she's extremely introverted. I don't really have any solutions, but my current experiments with her is to make sure we're doing the same activities over and over again. We always go to the same playground, do the same classes at the same time, introduce one new thing at a time, etc. I have noticed that the more times we do something over and over again, the more willing she is to at least, like, put her feet on the floor. Oh, and the other thing that I am working on is making sure that I am okay with accommodating her having an introverted and cautious personality. My husband is very introverted and cautious, and his parents wanted him to be more outgoing, or thought it would be good to put him in highly social situations that just compounded his anxiety. So we have come up with some stuff already like small family birthday parties until she is old enough to decide what she wants, and then we will respect if she wants something small, that sort of thing. I also focus on the positive things about her being cautious and introverted, like that there's no chance she'll take a tumble down the stairs, and she's super easy to have in restaurants because she's so overwhelmed she sits in my lap quiet as can be! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-parenting-a-very-cautious-child#post-2135285 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 13:58:30 +0000 MrsF 2135285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swurlygurl: I hear you, friend. The example about the leaf made me smile - Last week M almost got down and *crawled* over a crack on the sidewalk, as if she thought it was a huge step or something. Sigh. </p> <p>It will be interesting to see if our kids are always cautious or if this is just a developmental thing!</p> <p>@Mamasig: Good to hear that he became a little more independent with starting preschool. I worry that M will be left behind the other kids because she doesn't want to try new things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-parenting-a-very-cautious-child#post-2135278 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 13:52:26 +0000 yoursilverlining 2135278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is almost 3 and very, very cautious too (physically). She climbed 4 stairs by herself this past weekend…which is the most she’s ever done. We’ve never had to put up baby gates because she has NO interest in trying to walk up/down stairs by herself or get into places she shouldn’t go. Only within the past few months has she begun to climb up onto the sofa by herself, etc. </p> <p>What I’ve done to try to encourage some risk-taking (if you can even call it that!) is to hold her hand, and then let go for just 1-2 steps/seconds, and then take her hand again – and then really talk excitedly about how great she did on her own, and ask her to high-five me for her “big girl moves”. Sometimes we'll call DH or a grandparent so she can tell them about whatever she did that was a "big girl move" - that seems to help too. </p> <p>At school, I know she gets lots of encouragement from teachers and from her less-cautious friends to try things like the slide, which she now will do on her own, as long as it’s a very small sized slide. Peer pressure has definitely helped her some, so it might help your LO too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-parenting-a-very-cautious-child#post-2135275 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 13:47:46 +0000 Mamasig 2135275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS1 is also very cautious. I wouldn't say scared of things, just is cautious. I don't think it deters him from doing things though. For example, he was playing with his cousins who were jumping from off a step. He didn't jump. Instead be stepped down, but it didn't stop him from playing.</p> <p>I think a lot of it is his personality. Unfortunately I can see some of myself in this behavior. </p> <p> I did notice his independence grew once he started preschool. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-parenting-a-very-cautious-child#post-2135263 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 13:39:03 +0000 swurlygurl 2135263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can totally relate! Sadly, I have no advice though. :( </p> <p>I saw her climbing on a chair from the side the other day, and was SO EXCITED to see her do something 'different'.<br /> But, she's so scared of everything else. Scared might not be the right word, but cautious, like you described, is perfect.<br /> I can't even get her to step on a leaf on the ground. We had to walk through some loose dirt on the driveway at daycare and she looked petrified at the thought of having to step on it. </p> <p>I don't really know what the future holds for her - is she going to be shy/introverted/cautious all the time?<br /> I was (am!) extremely unathletic and should ask my mom to see if this is how I was as a child too - I don't want L to be as pathetic as I was :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-on-parenting-a-very-cautious-child#post-2135239 Tue, 07 Apr 2015 13:23:32 +0000 MrsF 2135239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>M is 2.5 years old and has always been very cautious, particularly physically. She doesn't like to climb things and her preference is to have someone else do most things for her. We try to encourage her independence, having her take her shoes on and off, take her coat off, walk instead of being carried, etc. It's hard to know how much to push her though. We were at the children's museum this morning and she wouldn't get up or down, on or off anything herself, even things that I've seen her do before! I try to be firm and encourage her to do it herself, but it's hard when she's sobbing "I need help Mom!". I do think that there's an element of fear there and I don't want to abandon her, but I want to show her that she can do so much if she tries! She starts preschool in the fall and I think it will be good for her to be in a group setting but it's a little hard to picture. </p> <p>I would also like to move towards potty training but she has no interest, not surprisingly. She takes a long time to warm up to anything new (so underwear, potty, etc). I don't want to push her of course, but it's hard to imagine that she'll ever be ready on her own. </p> <p>Can anyone relate? </p>