https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 19:32:50 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2581798 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 14:59:05 +0000 psw27 2581798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellealys: awesome update! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2581632 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 12:42:43 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2581632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellealys: what a great update! Congrats </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2581510 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 09:20:39 +0000 daniellealys 2581510@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@stratosphere: thank you for your reply!!! 12 weeks is way too soon. I agree but it's unfortunately the time we live in<br /> Thank you everyone!<br /> Much like @stratophere, i also called my boss right after the offer and we talked everything through. DVR<br /> I'm now in my new job and loving it. I get 6 weeks paid and 6 weeks unpaid. I'm very grateful!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559790 Wed, 01 Jun 2016 00:25:25 +0000 stratosphere 2559790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Modern Daisy: I second this entirely. They cannot rescind your offer (even a verbal offer) as a result of your revelation of pregnancy - that would be illegal and you could easily get an attorney to take your case. I'd just send an email to your HR contact confirming the basic details of your offer and let her/him know you also would like a quick call with your hiring manager. That establishes a written record of the offer without waiting for a formal written offer (which they might not send). Then speak with your hiring manager and express just what Modern Daisy suggested. It is important to be open in communication and establish trust w your future manager, esp if this is your dream job. </p> <p>I went through something similar a few years ago when pregnant with my LO. </p> <p>I interviewed for my current job (a huge promotion and rare opportunity for significant advancement in my field without having to move cities) when I was 23-24 weeks pregnant but wasn't really showing (due to it being my first, having hyperemesis and also being 6' tall) and it never came up in interviews and I was pretty sure they didn't realize I was pregnant. I got the offer at 25 weeks over the phone. I was leaving an amazing job (just more junior position and sig less pay) with great maternity leave benefits and I knew the new job offered only state disability coverage but like you I mostly wanted to negotiate for 12 weeks total (unpaid) since I wouldn't be covered by FMLA. </p> <p>After I got the verbal offer I called my future boss and told her how excited I was about the position, but that I wasn't sure if she realized I was pregnant and I wanted to make sure the timing of my maternity leave worked for the position. To be perfectly honest I realized I had them in a bind (they couldn't legally rescind my offer but what if they resented me not explicitly telling them during interviews?) so I also told her that their offer was lacking in a few respects financially, market-wise, which was true. She was surprised by the pregnancy news for sure and asked for some time to look into it internally but she called me back pretty quickly and increased my offer in one respect (so I knew they really wanted me and didn't feel trapped by a legal gotcha) and also told me the unpaid maternity leave timing worked for them. It ended up working out really well (other than the fact that 12 weeks felt too short ultimately once I was on leave but there wasn't flexibility at that point to extend further due to some project timing) and it started my relationship with my boss on the right foot of open communication and respect. </p> <p>Good luck!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559462 Tue, 31 May 2016 11:59:55 +0000 MamaG 2559462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh this is a hard situation. As a hiring manager I'd want to know. I would be disappointed in someone not being "full disclosure" and it would start off with some trust and commitment questions in my mind.</p> <p>Also in my field, training time is long. So in 5 months time someone wouldn't likely be fully up to speed. What hindrance will be placed on the team having you out so soon after starting?</p> <p>I understand why so many people say wait. But from the other side of the table, I say share. The worst that happens is the job goes away. Well was it the right job then if that's how they treat people? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559455 Tue, 31 May 2016 11:46:05 +0000 Mommy Finger 2559455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely wait until you have the written offer but as soon as it's signed, I would talk with your manager and go from there. I have hired quite a few people in my day (makes me sound so old :) ) and I would have been upset if someone waited to tell me something like this. And I know it's easy to say when you're not in the situation but let's say you did tell HR or your manager now (after the written offer) and they rescinded the offer, is that really the kind of company you want to work for? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559440 Tue, 31 May 2016 11:29:00 +0000 hitchhiker 2559440@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellealys: I work for the federal government, which has no paid maternity leave. So I didn't get any. But they encouraged me to take as much unpaid leave as I needed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559418 Tue, 31 May 2016 10:51:00 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2559418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellealys: Then NO WAY would I say anything. You have to have SOMETHING in writing before you say anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559409 Tue, 31 May 2016 10:38:51 +0000 Pirouette 2559409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would tell now. you want to make sure you have no interruption in health insurance (if you have not already discussed this with them), and I don't think it sends the best message if you don't say something until you actually start the job, since you'll be pretty far along then. I think it seems more professional to tell your manager now, and it makes you seem more committed to the position (planning in advance, no surprises). It's also possible people already know/suspect, and are waiting to see how long you wait to address it head on. Also, congrats!!! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559404 Tue, 31 May 2016 10:28:00 +0000 Truth Bombs 2559404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would tell HR now. I personally would want to know every detail (confirm STD coverage and know if you will be allowed unpaid leave) before quitting my current job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559402 Tue, 31 May 2016 10:26:59 +0000 daniellealys 2559402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: I do not have an official written offer. It has all been over the phone. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559399 Tue, 31 May 2016 10:24:46 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2559399@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellealys: My big question is do you have an offer in writing from an authorized source (like HR). If you do not have paper work, I would not tell them. However, you probably will get that paper work before your first day of work. I would maybe tell them sometime between those points in time. After you get the paperwork and have reviewed and accepted the offer but maybe before your first day of work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559396 Tue, 31 May 2016 10:22:07 +0000 daniellealys 2559396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjd: thank you. Congrats on your pregnancy :D </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559395 Tue, 31 May 2016 10:20:43 +0000 daniellealys 2559395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hitchhiker: Thank you! this is very helpful! just curious...did you end of getting the leave that you wanted? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559299 Tue, 31 May 2016 07:33:45 +0000 hitchhiker 2559299@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I took a new job at a similar point in my first pregnancy. I actually revealed the pregnancy during my interview after much angst and speaking with my cousin, who is very senior in HR at a university. She framed it as weighting the risk of them not offering (or in your case rescinding the offer) with undermining your relationship with your future manager. She said she would be totally fine with hiring someone who is pregnant, but would not want to be surprised by it on day 1. I'm not sure I totally buy it, but it's one perspective, and following the advice worked well for me. </p> <p>In terms of who to tell, in all the organizations i have worked for, this message would be most appropriate for the manager, not HR. Or maybe both, but I think you want your future manager to learn this news from you, not from HR. </p> <p>Edited to add that you may want to tell your manager and ask her/him if you should discuss leave policies with HR. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559287 Tue, 31 May 2016 06:54:10 +0000 Modern Daisy 2559287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It was irrelevant prior to the offer, but now that it's been extended and accepted I would call your manager right away and break the news. Don't apologize but mention you are aware the timing isn't ideal for starting a new job but say you weren't about to let a job search stop you from completely putting off your personal life goals, etc. then say you will be calling hr to talk about your leave and you are really hoping for "x". Give a thought- out plan as to what you would ideally like to do and think is fair and ask for feedback. Don't phrase it like you are considering not taking the job if they won't agree, play it more like you are asking for a well thought out accommodation. Good luck!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559183 Mon, 30 May 2016 19:12:01 +0000 Trailmix 2559183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely would NOT say anything until you start! Day 1, let them know but not until then! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559115 Mon, 30 May 2016 14:11:45 +0000 catomd00 2559115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would wait until day 1. There's way too much they could say was the reason for rescinding the offer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559081 Mon, 30 May 2016 11:45:39 +0000 mrsjd 2559081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree that I don't think they can rescind your offer but I would say that if you getting 6 weeks unpaid in addition to the 6 weeks STD is a deal breaker to you, then you may have to adjust accordingly. Sounds like that is something they could say no to given that you're not FMLA eligible. I would try to come at it from a place of asking for that as the best case scenario and then working with them on their needs. Perhaps work from home or part time as alternatives. However I feel your pain, because I had some important deadlines I chose not to tell work until I was 21 weeks. I'm 25 weeks now and I'll take the 8 weeks paid I get plus accrued vacation. Come in willing to negotiate and I bet they'll work with you. Good luck!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559077 Mon, 30 May 2016 11:41:57 +0000 babybean404 2559077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Or maybe...would it be worth it to consult with a lawyer? That way if things start looking fishy you could have him or her send a letter or email? Not a great way to start at a new job though :( but congrats on your dream job! I am sure it will all work out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559075 Mon, 30 May 2016 11:40:05 +0000 babybean404 2559075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would also be concerned that something would "come up" that would result in them not following through with your hiring. I know 3 weeks seems like a long time right now but I think you should wait until your first day of work. If I were you I might make an anonymous phone call to HR asking about the policies if the company is big enough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559074 Mon, 30 May 2016 11:37:55 +0000 mamabolt 2559074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it would be illegal for them to rescind the offer at this point as it would be pregnancy discrimination. I'd bring up ASAP so you can possibly negotiate your leave as part of the offer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559069 Mon, 30 May 2016 11:10:26 +0000 daniellealys 2559069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MOMTOLITTLEB: thank you </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559068 Mon, 30 May 2016 11:08:05 +0000 daniellealys 2559068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mfa_lady: thank you! I'm concerned they may remove their offer:( am unpaid leave isn't a huge deal for us. My biggest concerns are them not giving me the time off i need and loose my job </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559067 Mon, 30 May 2016 11:06:04 +0000 daniellealys 2559067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: I'm for sure covered under STD. Basic not supplementmental . I'm concerned they will remove their offer</p> <p>[attach=6816/16/o7zze5.337x600.Screenshot_20160526-144740.png] </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559066 Mon, 30 May 2016 10:59:15 +0000 mfa_lady 2559066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I made a job change at 10 weeks pregnant--was offered the job at around 7 weeks. In our situation, I couldn't have accepted the job if I hadn't been eligible for STD after delivery. A completely unpaid leave wasn't an option, and I qualified for FMLA at my old job. </p> <p>After I was offered the new position, I spoke to HR (the person officially offering me the job). I told her I was expecting, and asked what their leave policies were and what I'd be eligible for. My company is too small for FMLA,but luckily the other benefits (including medical and STD) kicked in after 30 days on the job. </p> <p>I would speak to someone now, like @LBee: said, before giving notice at your current job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559063 Mon, 30 May 2016 10:47:21 +0000 LBee 2559063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be surprised if your new job's STD will cover your existing pregnancy. I would talk to your HR contact and determine all this before leaving your current job. I personally would want all my ducks in a row before taking that kind of leap (and I say this as someone who changed jobs at 6 weeks pregnant). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559061 Mon, 30 May 2016 10:43:00 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2559061@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you should tell your manager now since that is the person you will be working closely with and who it will affect the most. You want to express your enthusiasm to start and let him be the first to know that you are pregnant and plan to take some time off and let him know when. </p> <p>I'm interviewing and ttc and have spoken with an experienced recruiter who said I should not be worried about it- but I definitely think you should be honest. If you were 6 weeks pregnant it would be different but you're at the stage where most people share with their employers in my experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-please-start-new-job-at-20-weeks#post-2559050 Mon, 30 May 2016 09:41:55 +0000 daniellealys 2559050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi friends<br /> I have landed my dream job! I won't bore you with the details but I'm very excited. I start in 3 weeks..i will be 20 weeks. I was 16 weeks when I interviewed and looked very pregnant. But interviewed with all men.. So they probably didn't notice. I'm leaving a great job to take this job. I'm concerned with maternity leave. they do 6 weeks under basic std and the rest is supplemental which I won't qualify for. :( My ask to them is that I can take the additional 6 weeks unpaid. So, should I tell them ASAP I'm expecting? Should I wait until I'm officially hired - i have just accepted at this point. Tell my manager now? Tell my hr contact now? I'm dying to know the details and if they will allow the extra unpaid leave?! But what's the best way to go about it? Also, I'm not protected under FMLA.., so I could possibly be taking a huge risk here. FYI..i live in Illinois, US and work in not for profit healthcare. M not sure if hr or my manager makes this decision?? </p>