https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 06 Apr 2026 20:31:02 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-problems-with-co-worker#post-234407 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 15:35:26 +0000 LindsayInNY 234407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ModernDaisy - My parents suggested I phrase things in a way to imply that the firm is affected (as well as me) so it's not as personal. I think as long as my boss realizes it's an ongoing issuen that maybe something will be done? Not sure what though... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-problems-with-co-worker#post-234405 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 15:33:42 +0000 LindsayInNY 234405@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipgloss - I've dealt with attitude from staff before but never to this extent. It's not just attitude, it's rudeness, the way she talks to people...</p> <p>The office I'm in is actually all female - the partner and jr partner both are female (which is awesome!). In the heat of the moment, I get very aggitated about her behavior. After a day or two, part of me almost wants to just pretend it didn't happen and move on. But I know that's not the solution because it'll just happen again with time. I'm at the point where I do feel like it's affecting my billing and productivity - I waste time checking to see if things were done/started because she doesn't communicate with me, following up repeatedly... I can't move my cases along as fast if things aren't getting done on my end. And honestly, it's not how I present myself as a professional nor does the firm. I'm comfortable with my partner but have little "street cred" here since I just started in February. That's my biggest concern - I don't want it to look like I'm somehow the problem. When really, the problems always been here but no one will do anything about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-problems-with-co-worker#post-234403 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 15:29:16 +0000 Modern Daisy 234403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is tough since you have no say over whether or not she gets fired or her raise/bonus. Since her performance directly impacts you, I would be more of a squeaky wheel with the person who DOES have a say in her employment. Every time she misses a deadline or talks back to you, report it. And don't stop following up with her just because she tells you to leave her alone.</p> <p>As far as how you interact with her, I would take all emotions 100% out of it. Don't be nice or mean. Just email and speak to her matter of factly. </p> <p>It's all about shifting the power away from her. Right now she feels like she can walk all over you because you have no power. But with time if you continue to report her and she gets spoken to by her manager she might tire of being reprimanded and eventually start to do her job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-problems-with-co-worker#post-234395 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 15:20:22 +0000 MsLipGloss 234395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNYC: No worries about the length! :) I am an attorney too . . . and boy have I been there. </p> <p>One of my first lessons as an attorney was to get over the fact that my assistant didn't like me . . . it was immediate and without cause, so it rented too much space in my head before I could just let it go. It really is tough to do, but after I decided that all I could do was to be as professional, fair, and as consistent as possible and that the rest was on her, it made it much easier to change mental gears. It was just too exhausting to try to change what I had no control over (or to beat myself up about it!). You deal with enough professional stress/anxiety as is! </p> <p>Ultimately, (assuming you are on a billable hour system), if something is negatively impacting your billing/productivity, it is your position (so to speak) to bring it up. That does have a lot to do with not only your comfort level with your partner(s), but also what kind of "street cred" you have within your firm. In that regard, I agree with your parents to the extent that your concern has to do with your ability to meet (and exceed) your billable requirement which in turn impacts the firm's bottom line. As long as it comes from a business perspective, you should be able to avoid the "being overly emotional/female" track that can happen when women bring up work place issues. </p> <p>It has been my experience that most female assistants will be infinitely more respectful to an older/male attorney (even if he is an asshat) than they ever will be to a young(er) female attorney. Now add in the fact that the man is a partner and that the woman is an associate, and it just gets even more murky and frustrating. (I am assuming, as sexist as it is, that the partner your assitant also supports is male). </p> <p>And, if you can, just continue to kill her with kindness. I always feel better when I don't get bogged down in someone else's drama. (And It probably drives her crazy when you're complimentary.) :) </p> <p>It really, really does suck, and is insanely frustrating . . . I hope that it gets better for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-problems-with-co-worker#post-234377 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 14:59:34 +0000 LindsayInNY 234377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss - To make it a little easier to relate, it's my paralegal =/ The firm's other 2 offices are bigger and all the attorneys have a shared paralegal AND secretary. My office had her as a paralegal and a part-time secretary 2 or 3 days a week. The secretary was fired just before I was hired. So now the paralegal has one more attorney's work (3 of us total - I'm the only associate, my partner who primarily supervises and a jr. partner) to add to her duties PLUS secretarial work (envelopes, letterhead, minor things). I've told her before that if she's overwhelmed and feels a part-time secretary would help, then she needs to tell someone. It's not my position to do so really.</p> <p>1. I've tried not to slash to stop doing that. And I've been trying not to take anything personally regardless of if it comes across that way.<br /> 2. I learned that in April when an innocent conversation went downhill FAST. We were the only two in the office until the afternoon so it was nice and uncomfortable. At the same time, had someone been here, she may have been a little less confrontational.<br /> 3. I email everything so I have a trail for a couple reasons... If there's ever a problem (like now), so I know when I first asked for something and when to follow up, etc. She's easier to deal with that way despite the fact she complains about email and usually doesn't respond.<br /> 4. We have some already set forth generally so I'm not asking her to do anything besides what she's responsible for. My parents said to try and phrase things as more of "effecting the company" than just me.<br /> 5. I have been so she's aware I'm appreciative. Falls on deaf ears I think. I've even complimented outfits (genuinely too!) but she'll ignore what I've said. It's very weird.</p> <p>Sorry so long!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-problems-with-co-worker#post-234337 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 14:39:30 +0000 MsLipGloss 234337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Situations like this are so difficult - it stinks that you are going through this. Here are a few things you might consider going forward:</p> <p>1. Don't even try to analyze why she treats you this way . . . not only will you drive yourself crazy, but there is nothing you can do to change the way she thinks or acts. It is so hard to know what is really driving someone's behavior. </p> <p>2. Never have an unsupervised conversation (in person) with her about her work performance. It should take place with your boss and/or HR, that way, there is a witness to what was said by whom. </p> <p>3. For taskings and deadlines, send everything via email so that you can start to create a file. If you issue a verbal request, be sure to follow it up with an email confirming same.</p> <p>4. Create a list of responsibilities and expectations regarding her job peformance. It is important (even if it seems obvious and redundant) that she understand exactly what you expect from her. Before presenting it to your assistant, have your boss review/approve same. When she deviates from the requirements, address it, document it, and keep a separate copy in a file.</p> <p>That way, when you go to your boss with any recommendations, you can show him that you have clearly communicated her performance objectives and how (and when, and how many times) she failed to meet the standard. Ultimately, it will present a much stronger case for termination. </p> <p>5. When she does something well or when she is having a *good* day, compliment her, and attempt to reinforce the behavior. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-problems-with-co-worker#post-234295 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 14:15:39 +0000 LindsayInNY 234295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Purkle - I have when necessary - she complained outloud once (she likes to do that) about not having advance notice and I said "I gave it to you on X date". I can't approach or confront her on things without someone being in the office as a buffer. If no one's here, she's just plain nasty! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-problems-with-co-worker#post-234287 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 14:11:35 +0000 crunch 234287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's crazy! It may be awkward, but I would call her out on the fact that she misses deadlines and that's why you feel like you have the need to remind her. I would say it to her face too and not via email. People seem to say whatever they want through email. i'm grrrrrr-ing for you right now! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-problems-with-co-worker#post-234284 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 14:10:51 +0000 LindsayInNY 234284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsLma - She complains constantly about hating the job and being miserable. Honestly, then find another one! Why stay here for 5+ years if you hate it?! I could (kinda) handle the attitude if she got my work done but I get the attitude AND no/late work.</p> <p>I like your approach with my boss since I don't feel like I can discuss problems/concerns civily with my assistant directly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-problems-with-co-worker#post-234271 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 14:08:31 +0000 LindsayInNY 234271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Purkle - I keep track of my cases and deadlines and write down when I've given her something so when she turns around and acts like it's all last minute, I can point out otherwise. Yesterday's issue came after I emailed her a reminder on something - she basically told me that she's "well aware" and "do not send me any more of these emails". The way she talks to people should not be tolerated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-problems-with-co-worker#post-234264 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 14:06:11 +0000 LindsayInNY 234264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose - Exactly!! The ironic thing is, we have an employee handbook which everyone signs when they're hired. It details certain behavior which may warrant termination. Almost everything she does falls within it. But nothing is done. So why have a handbook if nothing is enforced?! I think she needs a stern warning or something and then next time, see ya. It would be awkward because the office I'm in is so small but at this point, I don't even care anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-problems-with-co-worker#post-234261 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 14:05:30 +0000 MrsLMA 234261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNYC: Ughhh, people like her drive me NUTS! Why on earth would you take a job as someone's assistant when it's clear that you don't like working FOR people?! I love the people I work for, but even when I haven't in the past, I love HELPING people be more productive- it sounds like she's not in the right profession!</p> <p>When you talk to your boss, I would just say that you're uncomfortable letting her know when you're unhappy with her job performance and that having a "standard" discipline process would make it easier. </p> <p>At the end of the day, what's more expensive- hiring and training a new assistant or hiring and training a new "you"? And not to knock my own job, but assistant's are much easier to find (usually) than the people we assist.</p> <p>GOOD LUCK! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-problems-with-co-worker#post-234258 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 14:05:15 +0000 crunch 234258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would tackle the problem like any other work related issue. Make a list of what needs to be done/fixed/changed. Go over the list with her and then tackle one issue at a time. When she deviates from a goal, go back to the list and talk to her about it again. This way, you also have everything documented in case you do get to fire her. I feel like sometimes you have to treat certain coworkers like children! They need rules and constant oversight or they get lost and "spoiled" and end up acting/doing whatever they want. Sorry that your coworker is so annoying! good luck =] </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-problems-with-co-worker#post-234251 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 14:01:42 +0000 MamaMoose 234251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNYC: That sucks, I'm sorry. It makes me so mad when companies don't fire people who slack off. We have a few of those where are I work too. The job market is so tough right now there are literally HUNDREDS of qualified people who would be more than happy to work their butts off in a position, so why let someone who has a bad attitude and no work ethic stay?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-problems-with-co-worker#post-234249 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 14:00:14 +0000 LindsayInNY 234249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsLma - Absolutely not. The original plan was to go over my caseload on a weekly basis and that was next to impossible to do. She's the most difficult person to work with that I have ever encountered. This is her personality to everyone, for the most part. She's not as argumentative with my boss (obviously) or the other person in the office (because she'll dish it right back). I feel like she's worse with me because I'm new? I don't even know. At times it feels personal too. She's also had issues with other people - at my office and other offices.</p> <p>I'm going to talk to my boss tomorrow. I know she can't/won't change but we need to figure something else out before I lose it. I just wish I knew what that was. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-problems-with-co-worker#post-234247 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 13:57:15 +0000 LindsayInNY 234247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose - Unfortunately no. Honestly, at this point, that would be my recommendation. Occasionally she has a nice day but they're so few and far between. And I don't think the positives outweigh the negatives. She's had issues with a lot of other people so it's not just me. I think firing her will cost more in the longer run - to find/train someone new - that they just put up with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-problems-with-co-worker#post-234242 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 13:56:34 +0000 MrsLMA 234242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Terribly uncomfortable situation! Have you and the assistant sat down and talked about the issue at all? Do you think that she probably has issues with you as well, or is this just her personality toward everyone?</p> <p>I would say that if you can have a 1. professional 2. productive and 3. non-confrontational conversation about how you're feeling, what you're needing to have changed, and what you're willing to do to make her happier that would be the best scenario. </p> <p>If you think that she isn't capable of having this type of conversation, I'd tell your boss that you're wanting to have some sort of written documentation of instances where deadlines aren't met- that is a job performance issue. As an executive assistant I can say that our jobs won't exisist if the people we work for don't find us valuable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-problems-with-co-worker#post-234240 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 13:55:03 +0000 MamaMoose 234240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you not have the authority to fire her if she is your assistant? Basically her job description is to help you get your job done... and she's clearly not fulfilling that role. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-problems-with-co-worker#post-234224 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 13:49:06 +0000 LindsayInNY 234224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Has anyone ever had significant, ongoing issues with a co-worker?</p> <p>Some back story might help... I started at my job in February. I have an "assistant" whose worked here for 5 years or so. She's about 15-20 years older than me. Single until recently, I think (this is relevant, promise). I've had issues with her from about a month in and recently it's gotten worse. They affect my productivity, ability to handle/manage my cases and my well-being. At this point, something needs to change but I don't know what or how to go about it.</p> <p>She cannot and does not communicate at all. When I ask for things to get done, she doesn't let me know if she's busy or whatnot and I'm stuck constantly "following" up to remind her. It's annoying. I give her deadlines and she chooses to look at them as guidelines. They're not. She takes it upon herself to make decisions concerning my work that are not her decisions to make. Her attitude is the worst I've ever encountered. Ever. She's unprofessional, rude, confrontational, condescending... I hate having to approach her with things because I never know what sort of fight I'll get from her.</p> <p>I've tried playing her game but 1. that's just not me and 2. it's annoying and tiring. I don't know what to do at this point. I'm suppose to sit down with my boss tomorrow. We met as a "team" a month ago after I talked with my boss about the problems I was having and my assistant hasn't changed a thing. I'm at a loss for what to do. </p>