https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 00:02:36 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-77885 Sat, 18 Feb 2012 13:37:00 +0000 googly-eyes 77885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crumbs, Sorry, I missed that. :( Still, I think that even if she has chosen the same or a similar name, you did the right thing. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-77841 Sat, 18 Feb 2012 09:48:29 +0000 Rubies 77841@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crumbs: I think that you did the right thing by running it by her (not so much as "right" but it was considerate)...And if she's not responding because it happens to be the same name, then it's her own fault or she should at least talk to you about it. BUT, you can give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she's just so busy and hasn't had a chance to respond. Either way, you did your part! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-77815 Sat, 18 Feb 2012 03:38:32 +0000 SugarplumsMom 77815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: She picked her names. I asked her about it before we found out the gender of our LO. She said she didn't want to reveal them until birth, not even to her Mom (my aunt). </p> <p>I'm going to try to not think about it but it's a week today since I sent the her the msg. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-77406 Fri, 17 Feb 2012 13:25:56 +0000 Rescuemom10 77406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmmm...makes me wonder too why she has not responded. Its good you are set on it anyway. I agree with how someone else stated that if SHE was worried about it she would have talked to you about it before as well. Best of luck with it all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-77393 Fri, 17 Feb 2012 13:05:52 +0000 googly-eyes 77393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe she's just busy! Or maybe she was a little surprised that you even sent that email, and doesn't know how to respond. Maybe she hasn't even picked her names yet and was considering it but is still thinking about how she feels about the whole thing. I wouldn't worry too much about it yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-77294 Fri, 17 Feb 2012 11:15:34 +0000 mrs. wagon 77294@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crumbs: do it... now it's her fault for not responding to you... </p> <p>Sorry, I think I am in a catty mood today!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-77287 Fri, 17 Feb 2012 11:12:48 +0000 SugarplumsMom 77287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: Yes, she's usually quick to respond =/</p> <p>@tina: I was thinking the exact same thing and just announce it. The name is final for us anyway so we might as well.</p> <p>I just wish she would say something ... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-77278 Fri, 17 Feb 2012 10:53:32 +0000 mrs. wagon 77278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have just announced it. Honestly, by not announcing the name until the birth, you're taking the risk that someone else might steal your name. And that's her choice to make. We didn't announce the name until birth and I would have been upset if someone close to me "stole" the name, but I wouldn't have blamed them-- they didn't know, and because of me! Maybe I'm just snarky :) But I would say go ahead and cement it in before she has a chance to blame you for something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-77276 Fri, 17 Feb 2012 10:50:12 +0000 ALittleP 77276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry to hear that she never responded to your email. It's possible that it isn't a big deal to her and just hasn't gotten around to writing you back...</p> <p>My cousin and I share a name and it isn't a problem. She's several years older than I am and so clearly the name was already "taken" but we just tack on her middle name when talking about her and there is no confusion! :)</p> <p>Good luck and hope that you two can talk about it soon and give you some peace of mind. Know that at the very least you have done the right thing to give her the heads up :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-77131 Fri, 17 Feb 2012 06:11:08 +0000 Andrea 77131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am not quite sure what to make of her non-response. Is she generally quick to respond to messages? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-77093 Fri, 17 Feb 2012 01:47:16 +0000 SugarplumsMom 77093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>UPDATE: Almost a week has passed since I msged my cousin and she has not responded. At all. I thought at first she might have been busy since my grandpa's there visiting but her FB is connected to her phone. Today she's active on FB again, but no msg.</p> <p>Is it safe to assume she actually did pick the same name? O_O</p> <p>I phrased it like this: </p> <p>"..., we picked a name. I know the chances are slim that we both have the same name in mind, but I thought I'd run it by you anyway. We want to name our little girl ... and call her ... :)</p> <p>Names are so tricky and especially since our girls will be so close in age (and I hope they get to know each other and get close later on as well). I just thought it would be such a coincidence if we ended up picking the same name (what are the odds, right?). But in that off chance, I wouldn't mind at all, but I don't know how you'd feel about that.</p> <p>You don't have to reveal your names or anything, I just thought to let you know. HUGS"</p> <p>I know I said I just wanted to let her know but I thought she would at least respond something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-73173 Sun, 12 Feb 2012 13:02:11 +0000 CameronsMomma 73173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Before we knew what we were having we picked out Sophia Rose (before we were pregnant even... about 3 years ago). It turns out my cousin who was having a girl picked Sophie for her daughter's name who was supposed to be born about 3 months before. I was really unhappy about it because she didn't mention it and that was and is the only girl's name the hubs and I agreed on.</p> <p>Thankfully we had a boy, but I would mention it her before announcing it. I'd probably just say something along the lines of "We're announcing what we're naming our daughter, and I just wanted to give you a heads up that it will be _____." I would have loved that heads up, and even though we would have changed it, I was still really unhappy she didn't say anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-72950 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 14:56:58 +0000 chopsuey 72950@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I say announce it! bil and sil asked us about the names they liked because they were expecting a girl 2 months before us. they really didn't have to though. they ended up choosing a name we weren't considering. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-72948 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 14:53:58 +0000 SugarplumsMom 72948@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Love you guys! I ended up emailing her. I would feel bad if I announced without letting her know, in the off chance that it is a name she picked, I don't want her to feel pressured or stressed because of it.</p> <p>I pretty much told her that if somehow we had the same name, I wouldn't mind but I don't know how she'd feel about it. But phrased the msg in a way that we have made up our mind.</p> <p>Man, we work fast! =) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-72932 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 13:48:14 +0000 heffalump 72932@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would just announce it. But I also wouldn't mind if someone picked the same name as LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-72930 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 13:40:28 +0000 Andrea 72930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crumbs: since she is in a different country, I would just announce. And if she does have the same name then tell her you would be cool if she used it, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-72928 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 13:37:49 +0000 hilsy85 72928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MH.Abroad: Ditto! I don't see what the big deal is. And what are the odds that out of all the possible names, that you would have picked one that she is set on as well? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-72924 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 13:27:50 +0000 MH.Abroad 72924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would just announce. If she's a cousin living in a different country, it wouldn't even matter that much if she DID have the same name. Big deal, so cousins share a name. I wouldn't care that much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-72923 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 13:18:03 +0000 MrsH 72923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crumbs: With all that info I think I'd just announce. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-72922 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 13:06:14 +0000 SugarplumsMom 72922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsH: It's not a family name or anything, but the name we picked is supposed to be really common, although I don't know of anyone with it. It's just that she'll have twin girls so that's 4 names to think about, instead of just a first and middle (although it's no biggie if it's a middle name, although she might think so).</p> <p>@Andrea: Your situation would be the best case scenario, if we do have the same name. But I'm a little afraid that she'd feel like she'd have to "give me dibs" because I'm older. It's a weird Asian thing.</p> <p>@owlmom: We're fairly close but don't talk to each other all that much. We live in different countries (she's in Hawaii, moving to Florida, and I'm in Sweden). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-72909 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 12:02:26 +0000 Rubies 72909@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I voted for "talk to her first" - but not to ask permission but to just say, "Hey, guess what, we have a name picked and we'll be announcing it...What do you think of *insert name*?" </p> <p>I think the naming of a child is personal and if she doesn't want to tell people what she plans on naming her kids then that's her decision but that just means she runs the risk of other people (ie. you) picking a name that's the same. (run-on sentence much?) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-72906 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 11:45:58 +0000 owlmom 72906@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How close are you and your cousin? How often will your kids be together? IMO, if you'll only be together a couple times a year or less, it doesn't really matter if they have the same name - they may actually bond over it as kids. If you guys are together most of the time, and you really care that they have different names, I would probably announce it to her first, see what her response is, and go from there. Personally, I wouldn't mind if my cousins and I named our kids the same thing if I had my heart set on a particular name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-72902 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 11:30:46 +0000 Andrea 72902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My friend and I were due 2 months apart (she was earlier). One day she asked me what name I picked and I told her. It turned out that she had that same name in her top 2! So she ended up using the name that I said but I didn't change so our daughters have the same name but different nicknames. She lives in NJ and me in NY so it's not a huge deal. We see each other in person only occasionally. </p> <p>So your situation is different since she is family but thought I would just tell you what happened to me and a friend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-72888 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 10:55:11 +0000 sorrycharlie 72888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmm, this is a toughy! I'd just maybe announce to her first? And see what she says! She could say, "Oh I love it!" and problem solved! Or if she's like, "...oh..." go from there. You never know until you try! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-72887 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 10:55:05 +0000 MrsH 72887@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'll reserve my vote for the moment. Are the chances that great that you are going to pick the exact same name? Is it a family name or something like that? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-72886 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 10:53:53 +0000 tequiero21 72886@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>if you're ready to announce it, i'd say announce it. i think the probability that it's the same name would be very very very low.</p> <p>edit: also, it's not your fault she's not telling you. i think if she really cared, she would discuss with you because the birth is so close. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-should-i-ask-her-1st-or-just-announce-the-name#post-72883 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 10:45:44 +0000 SugarplumsMom 72883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My cousin, slightly younger than me is having twin girls, due just 2 months before me. The younger part isn't a big deal for me, but it might be for her since we're Asian and she's raised in Asia.</p> <p>I'm having a girl as well and I'm pretty sure of the name. In fact, my husband just said if it's OK to start referring to her in her name because in a few days, it'll happen automatically for him. I originally wanted to see our baby first before naming her, but the only 2 names on "the list" are very similar (interchangeable names). Once my midwife told us the gender, my first thought was, the name we picked.</p> <p>Back to my cousin, thing is she isn't revealing her names before birth, and I totally understand that, but I want to avoid having the same name and with twins, there's a higher chance of it. My original plan was to just wait until she had her babies and pick a name after --- but that would mean I'd have to wait until the last 2 months AND that was before we had a name set.</p> <p>So my question is: how do I go about this without pressuring her or hurting her feelings while at the same time, not feeling like I have to ask for permission?</p> <p>Do I just announce it without discussing it with her? Do I tell her first and see if it's a name she picked out as well? If I do that, AND it is a name she picked, I'm afraid she'll feel like she has to change her name -- which I do not want. Will I change my name, I'm not sure anymore (something I thought I'd do before), we're getting increasingly attached to it. </p> <p>To be honest, right now I don't even care if our names are the same, but I'd rather have it done in my terms (if that makes any sense at all). I just don't want to feel like I have to wait for anyone else (other than DH) before being able to pick out our daughter's name.</p> <p>Any and all advice are greatly appreciated! </p>