https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 04:43:23 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks/page/2#post-1303633 Fri, 27 Dec 2013 17:30:36 +0000 babybean404 1303633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Vegmama @T.H.O.U</p> <p>Thanks for asking! We told our families on Christmas. Everybody cried and my mom started screaming with joy. Apparently she has been really really wanting a grandchild (I am an only child) but she didn't want to pressure me so she is thrilled. After I told, I swear my morning sickness got better because I just felt...like I didn't have to keep the secret to myself anymore!</p> <p>We are telling close friends over dinner on the 30th, but of course no FB announcement til the end of January (maybe even until we know the gender). I am nervous about people treating me differently (I am the first one to get pregnant) but as everyone has said it would be really hard to hide.</p> <p>@madambabyfever I thought I could wait too, but I didn't realize how tired and sick I would feel. People at work keep asking why I look "down" :( can't wait to tell them too in a month or so! I also didn't know how LONG the wait would feel. We've known for 5 weeks and it seems like a lifetime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks/page/2#post-1303292 Fri, 27 Dec 2013 14:59:45 +0000 MadamBabyFever 1303292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not pregnant and we aren't even trying yet but I'm determined not to tell anyone except my BFF until 12 weeks. It's not even because I'm afraid I'd mc, it's more that I'd like to keep the news between the two of us for the first few months, it's special and personal and I'd rather not have everyone else asking questions and giving advice right away, I want us experience it on our own. It probably sounds stupid, and who knows, the second I see the BFP I might to a group call to the whole family ;)</p> <p>Good luck whatever you decide though, ultimately if it feels right then share the news :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks/page/2#post-1303201 Fri, 27 Dec 2013 14:27:01 +0000 Vegmama 1303201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We told our immediate family at 5 weeks, and our very close friends (4 people) at 6 weeks. We shared the news publicly at 13 weeks. </p> <p>After having a previous miscarriage, I was nervous about sharing early, but I was so happy to be pregnant again, and I knew I'd want those people to know either way. </p> <p>It's such a personal decision!! </p> <p>How did telling your family go?? You had mentioned telling them at Christmas. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1303175 Fri, 27 Dec 2013 14:14:05 +0000 nana87 1303175@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we told friends that we were on a weekend camping trip super early--7 weeks. our friends totally guessed before we told them anyway, since it was super weird of me not to drink and to take naps midday, etc. it's a whole different thing when you're staying with people overnight! besides, they were people that we would want support from if anything happened. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1303169 Fri, 27 Dec 2013 14:11:19 +0000 Mrs. Pink 1303169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always felt like if anything happened, I'd want the support of my family and friends- so I vote yes. But don't post it to facebook or tell "everyone" you know- let those close friends and family members know you don't want the news out to the world yet </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1303164 Fri, 27 Dec 2013 14:07:23 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1303164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybean404: How did it go? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1303159 Fri, 27 Dec 2013 14:01:54 +0000 Modern Daisy 1303159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I voted no because I personally wouldn't, but honestly it's whatever you are comfortable with. I asked myself early on if I was okay with people knowing I was pregnant in the event that I were to miscarry and I knew the answer was no. I just hated the thought of going through such a traumatic experience then having to explain to everyone what happened. I was even nervous to tell people at 12 weeks but at a certain point you can't hide it anymore lol! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1303154 Fri, 27 Dec 2013 13:57:47 +0000 cookiemomster 1303154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I say go for it! We told our parents as soon as we knew, which ended up being four weeks- initially we thought I was around 9 but I have super irregular cycles so the ultrasound showed us it was way earlier than that. We heard the heartbeat at 8 weeks, and that's when we told everyone else. Our families are both very fortunate to have no history of miscarriage, and the doctors said everything looked really good, so we felt comfortable enough at that mark. It's definitely a very personal decision though so do what makes you comfortable =) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1297122 Mon, 23 Dec 2013 08:17:04 +0000 babybean404 1297122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you everyone for the different perspectives. I think we will tell a small group of friends that will arrive early. I'm also going to ask the doctor tomorrow to confirm the risks at 9 vs 12 weeks since there's a lot of different information on the internet. Thanks again and have a wonderful holiday everyone!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1297119 Mon, 23 Dec 2013 08:14:36 +0000 kjpugs 1297119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think, if your friends are close enough to stay with you, then you should be ok to tell them. You may say "it's still a little early, so we are still keeping this quiet, but..." Not sure if you're a facebook, etc, person - I consider that the peak of "going public" haha- but I told friends around 9-10 weeks (just best friends) and then "went public" on FB and other social media at 12+1. (Since 12 weeks was april fools day I waited until 4/2, lol!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1297116 Mon, 23 Dec 2013 08:13:26 +0000 SeptMomma12 1297116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had close friends staying with us at 7 weeks and I found it impossible not to tell them. Besides the not drinking, I went through a period right around then that I couldn't stop eating - it was pretty obvious! We did wait til 20 weeks to announce on Facebook though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1297111 Mon, 23 Dec 2013 08:09:49 +0000 MCD919 1297111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First pregnancy, we hadn't told many people and I miscarried at 9 weeks. I ended up telling friends that didn't even know about the pregnancy because I needed support. This pregnancy, we told some friends pretty much right away because we were getting together regularly &amp; they would guess anyway (no drinking) and they knew we were trying, etc. Other close family/ friends we saw often we told after seeing heartbeat twice at 6 and 8 weeks... Plus I'm very petite &amp; started showing super early (9 weeks)- difficult to hide! We went fb public and told everyone else around 15 weeks. It's such a personal decision. Do what feels right and don't worry about what you 'should' do! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1297085 Mon, 23 Dec 2013 07:29:06 +0000 blackbird 1297085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was totally ok with all my very close friends knowing when I was pregnant. They were super supportive after both losses (at 12 and 7 weeks), and chances do drop pretty significantly after you see the heartbeat on the 8 week scan. The difference between weeks 8 and 12 is just a couple percent....enough for me to typically bank on :) But it would depend on who's going to be there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1297009 Mon, 23 Dec 2013 00:38:59 +0000 MaisyMay 1297009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We told friends around 6-7 weeks for both pregnancies. One we lost at 8 weeks, but our friends were support after that so we didn't change anything next time around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1296856 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 21:21:15 +0000 singingbee 1296856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybean404: we told with our first pregnancy at 8 weeks, but lost our baby at 20 weeks. Our second baby we told family right away, but waited until 11 weeks with everyone else and 22 weeks Facebook official. I think if they are fiends that would be there for you then tell them. Congrats!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1296820 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 20:40:46 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1296820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: this exactly. I told friends about my losses but only because I chose to tell them not because they knew about the pregnancy and I had to give them an update. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1296811 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 20:32:52 +0000 Ra 1296811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We went public at 9 weeks after our first sonogram. I am really bad at keeping secrets! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1296805 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 20:27:48 +0000 SweetiePie 1296805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ditto @MrsH. I told close friends twice and both times I miscarried after 8 weeks. The second one was 11 weeks after seeing a strong heartbeat 3 times. It did not matter to me that they were my close friends or that i would have told them anyway. It's different when you choose to tell someone about a miscarriage vs having to. I didn't like that I had to tell them about it right away rather than when I was comfortable talking about it. I couldn't bear the thought of my friends not knowing that something went wrong and asking me how the pregnancy was going, or even worse, thinking it was "safe" to slip up and tell someone else. I also don't like being fawned over and asked "how are you feeling" during such a highly personal and emotional time. So I'm not going to tell anyone until 13 weeks next time around. My parents don't even know our IVF timeline at this point.<br /> So I personally don't feel comfortable after 8 weeks. However it is a personal decision and I know that I'm a bit jaded because f my experiences, so you should do what you feel comfortable with. </p> <p>Congrats and Good luck no matter what you choose! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1296787 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 20:08:31 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 1296787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would probably tell them. Its good timing for you, and if they're close friends (that you would tell if you happened to m/c), it could be fun.<br /> I got to tell my family at Christmas last year, when I was about 9 weeks along - and I wouldn't have changed it for the world. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1296782 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 20:03:05 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1296782@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jetsa: ok yes that makes sense. I just worry when people get false hope just because there seen a HB but the weeks along also matter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1296773 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 19:53:46 +0000 avivoca 1296773@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I told immediate family and very close friends as soon as I found out at 4 weeks. I told the rest of the world after we heard the heartbeat at 10 weeks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1296767 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 19:48:36 +0000 mlm2934 1296767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it is all a group of close friends, I'd feel comfortable sharing the news - really the risk isn't that different from 9wk to 12wk.</p> <p>That said, this past spring I did lose baby at 8wk after hearing heartbeat at 7.5wk, so I'm personally being a little more reserved this time than last time. I'm 10wk today and just told our families this past week, and won't tell additional family and friends until after my check up at 10w5d. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1296757 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 19:37:34 +0000 artsyfartsy 1296757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would tell them! Enjoy the excitement with your loved ones. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1296735 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 19:17:25 +0000 Mamasig 1296735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>By 8 weeks, I told close friends with both pregnancies. If something bad would've happened I would have told them too. By OB also said the risk of miscarriage is pretty low if you heard the heartbeat by 8 weeks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1296731 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 19:15:58 +0000 Mrs. Confetti 1296731@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybean404: My threshhold for telling people early is whether or not you would want to have their support in the case that you did have an M/C (knock on wood, of course). If they aren't that close of friends, I would just feign ill/let them guess or suspect but admit to nothing. If there is one close friend among the bunch, it is ok to tell one and not all, and then maybe she could play back up for you. Also, men are totally clueless and will likely not even think to suspect... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1296730 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 19:13:09 +0000 delight 1296730@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We saw the HB at 7 weeks and told our family last year at New Years at 8 weeks. I had a mc prior and they all knew so I was ok telling. I told close friends at 10. If you're comfortable telling then go for it! My friend told us at 7 weeks after seeing HB and I just heard from her she mc at 12 weeks. She said she didn't regret telling her close friends though. All the best for a safe pregnancy!<br /> Oh and I will say it's hard to hide it over the holidays anyways. When I told family at New Years they were not surprised at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1296728 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 19:11:09 +0000 Ash 1296728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm pretty cautious because of a prior m/c so I'd wait. But ultimately it's your call. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1296725 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 19:08:36 +0000 jetsa 1296725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: From here: <a href="http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/information/ultrasound-scans/" rel="nofollow">http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/information/ultrasound-scans/</a></p> <p>"Research has shown that if you see a heartbeat at 6 weeks of pregnancy, the chances of the pregnancy continuing are 78%.</p> <p>A heartbeat at 8 weeks increases the chance of a continuing pregnancy to 98% and at 10 weeks that goes up to 99.4%."</p> <p>My doctor told me that they used to say 12 weeks because that was the first appt, idk that's what I was going by. :) that's also why we told at 9 weeks, I will always take my odds at 98%-99.4% </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1296720 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 18:59:07 +0000 birdofafeather 1296720@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We told some close friends at 8-10 weeks because we saw them often. Other friends, we waited until 12 weeks when I saw them in person! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/advice-telling-friends-at-9-weeks#post-1296719 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 18:57:40 +0000 Mae 1296719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did. I actually told my closest friends the day I found out! I figured I'd want to tell them if I had a miscarriage anyways. For the rest of my family and good friends (i.e. people I talk to on an at-least-monthly basis in real life) I told them at 8-9 weeks (sort of just as I saw them) after my 8 week ultrasound. At that point I felt like the risk of miscarriage was so low there wasn't too much point in waiting until 13 weeks. Although, I did wait to make it public knowledge until 13 weeks, just to be extra safe. </p>