https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 13 May 2026 05:34:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1/page/2#post-2721859 Sat, 08 Apr 2017 15:29:08 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2721859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@azjax: @Dahlia: we toured the other daycare, after the tour DH commeneted this is really a STEM/ nature private school for Pre-K through 6 that happens to have a daycare. We were hoping to be blown away and switching him would be an easy decision. At his age and development the only better thing about the alternative daycare is the school menu. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1/page/2#post-2721790 Fri, 07 Apr 2017 22:00:57 +0000 Dahlia 2721790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: My daughter was moved up to the toddler room before she could properly walk because the teacher said she was bullying the younger babies. I was pretty annoyed by that language, because a one year old can't bully! She was just bored and wanted the babies to play with her. </p> <p>I will say, however, that we finally moved her out of that daycare. It was the same sort of situation you mention, where we were constantly making appointments to see other daycares and then rescheduling when things seemed to get better. We finally decided it wasn't worth the stress of wanting to pull her out every few months and just found another option. It was hard to make the switch, but we are so much more relaxed and confident in her care now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2721785 Fri, 07 Apr 2017 21:00:40 +0000 azjax 2721785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: excellent for standing up for your son! I hope the new school/daycare is an even better option when you guys check it out. It would be great for your DS to be able to participate in a program where the caregivers don't need so much guidance and education on appropriate language and conduct! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2721665 Fri, 07 Apr 2017 14:32:15 +0000 DesertDreams88 2721665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: good for you, glad to hear the update! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2720688 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 09:22:50 +0000 gingerbebe 2720688@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yassss queen 👸 way to go! 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2720665 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 08:44:45 +0000 erinbaderin 2720665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I'm so happy to hear that the director understood and addressed your concerns, both with the actual situation that happened and with the overarching messaging and concern you had about your son being labelled. Fingers crossed that the new room is more stimulating for him and he's able to thrive there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2720643 Thu, 06 Apr 2017 08:02:23 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2720643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Update: I met with the director and one of the program area directors. The good news is they are not concerned with my son's behavior, but this is a sign he is ready to move to the next room. I had to address the labeling, the minimal info in the incident reports, and what I felt was going on that day when I called. Based on that while I feel somewhat better we are still going to visit the other school.</p> <p>At the end of the day language matters. I should not have had to bring to their attention issues, perceived or real, with how incidents were written up and babies discussed. Sad to say, this was a known issue. The director has biracial (black) children and completely understood where I was coming from and even commented many parents wait until K to address this and by then the child's file is stacked against them with the label.</p> <p>As for the day LO was placed in the crib the teachers have been instructed a high chair with a toy is an alternative too. I much prefer a high chair when he can do something engaging. Toys, blankets are not allowed in the crib. However, that day the director admitted the teacher was frustrated and really wanted him to visit another classroom. </p> <p>I am happy to report its been two days and he has kept his hands to himself and no one has bit him either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2720444 Wed, 05 Apr 2017 14:03:22 +0000 travellingbee 2720444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was told my son was aggressive when he was 18 months old in his daycare class. Until they get more language skills there isn't much to do other than keep modeling how to be gentle and removing them from the situation when it does occur. It was stressful to hear that my kid was aggressive though. I understand your distress with being labelled but I also think that day care workers don't always have training in how to speak with parents. They may mean, he is acting aggressively and not thinking of him as an aggressive or "bad" child. I think y'all need to talk, for sure. So you are all on the same page. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2720347 Wed, 05 Apr 2017 10:56:40 +0000 daniellemybelle 2720347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: &lt;&lt; The reality is, most adults (even parents! Even some daycare workers!) don't really have any idea about what'd developmentally appropriate for children. &gt;&gt;</p> <p>This is VERY true. I have encountered this in my local playgroup, with moms saying that toddlers are "bullies" or "mean." A child under 2 literally is not capable of being truly mean!</p> <p>Sadly I have actually found that unless they have actually parented through a particular stage (so they have no children, or their LO is still a baby, or their LO had a different personality so they don't have that experience) people across the board tend to be really unforgiving and have unrealistic expectations of LOs. It's a shame. There is no excuse for this in a childcare setting, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719857 Tue, 04 Apr 2017 10:20:42 +0000 Anagram 2719857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I think you are doing all the right things, fwiw. I don't think it's abnormal that you check in on the cameras or that you object to your 1 year old being called "aggressive". Unfortunately, that is extremely common in our society. I've seen a ton of threads right here on HB where people post/vent to complain about another child hitting/bitting/scratching their child and the want the offender toddler removed from the class or disciplined in some way. I just had an acquaintance post on FB about a child hitting her son at daycare, and there were about 12 horrific comments along the lines of, "I would have drop kicked that kid halfway across the room!", and they were talking about 18 months old. =( And they were all white, if that matters.</p> <p>The reality is, most adults (even parents! Even some daycare workers!) don't really have any idea about what'd developmentally appropriate for children. And we are a very intolerant society in general.</p> <p>If I were you, I would just address the "aggressive" comment with the teacher or director and ask them to use other words in future, since all of your sons behaviors are developmentally normal, and since you are working on those behaviors at home and he will get there, in time (not for years yet, by the way).</p> <p>The 8 minutes in a crib doesn't bother me, because every mother I know with more than 1 child has to sometimes use pack n plays, cribs, play yards, whatever to keep kids separated when the parent is busy. So 8 minutes is nothing to me. I would have a problem with anything over 15 min probably.</p> <p>Also, having said all that....I refer to my youngest as aggressive all the time! She just is, compared to my oldest. Nothing that isn't appropriate for her age, but my oldest was never a biter/scratcher/hitter and my youngest does all of those, and somewhat frequently. But my younger daughter has also reached all her physical milestones early, so part of it is just that she's more physical and her body can do more and she's exploring how to use her body. Many times inappropriately, haha, but she constantly tries to hit or steal toys or pull the hair of her older sister if she doesn't get her way immediately. </p> <p>If I were caring for my youngest and 3 other kiddos, I would definitely have to utilize SOMETHING (play yard or fence or crib) to separate them while changing diapers if I were going to keep the other parents happy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719829 Tue, 04 Apr 2017 09:34:29 +0000 Mrs. Blue 2719829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with a lot of what has already been said, so I won't rehash all of that. It's worth mentioning that you don't like the label being put on your kid. One of G's daycare workers told us a few times that he was being "a bully" and "He's being mean." He was 1 at the time, so I knew his behaviors were developmentally appropriate, though they obviously needed to be addressed. Nonetheless, DH and I didn't love the language used by that teacher, and after several instances of that, we mentioned to the director that maybe they could do some training on appropriate ways to describe behavior. </p> <p>That said, some of my kids have been the biter and some have been the ones that got bit all the time. Some have been more aggressive (not in a mean way, obviously, because they were toddlers, but I mean they were more assertive and demanding and had the mobility to try to get whatever it was they were wanting or to react when they didn't like a toy being taken, etc.). Honestly, it stinks on both sides of it. When your kid is the one biting, you feel AWFUL. Like really, really horrible, even though you know it's not an abnormal thing at that age. No one looks fondly on a biter, and it feels really crappy knowing your kid bit someone. On the other hand, G had several biters in his class and got the brunt of it (like instance reports that he was bitten every single day for a while). Neither experience was fun, but I think it's the reality of having our kids in a daycare setting v. nanny at home because they have to interact with other kids and over time, learn appropriate and inappropriate ways to do that. Our daycare did their best to keep the kids in his class from biting, hitting, etc., as much, but mostly it's just something they have to grow out of as they learn that it hurts other people and they develop more communication. </p> <p>I guess my summary is I get why you're upset about the label of "aggressive" and I would definitely have been more up in arms with E &amp; F because they were our first and I didn't have as strong of a sense of what was "normal" or not for daycare, child behavior, etc. But all in all, I don't think the things you've described are anything I would be too concerned about unless there is a lot more history than what you shared here. </p> <p>I think it's worth you looking into other daycare options, though, if you feel like you won't be able to trust them to have your LO's best interest in mind. We've had some daycares that were probably "fine," but we got to a point where enough little things had happened that we lost faith in their intentions or practices, so we moved and were much happier at the new places (we had this happen in both cities we've lived in). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719695 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 20:34:59 +0000 maddyz 2719695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Labeling children is really problematic and can do real damage. Especially at such a young age. You have every right to be upset about this.</p> <p>My son has always been huge and very physical, people always think he is a very badly behaved much older child and not a baby. He also was a biter for a while. It sucks.</p> <p>These experiences have really shaped the way I talk about kids it's hard to change. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719644 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 19:02:33 +0000 pachamama 2719644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>But I do believe there is implicit bias and I hope your son is not experiencing that this young :-( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719643 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 19:01:13 +0000 ClairHuxtable 2719643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: I literally wanted to applaud as I read your response. I totally agree with everything you said. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719642 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 19:00:29 +0000 pachamama 2719642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Lord I cannot imagine having cameras in my daycare. There's bound to be many incidents like you mention that, while not great to watch, are just a benign, normal part of childcare- they can't be attending to all kids at once. At my daycare when the babies get up from naps, they cry and fuss for a few minutes til the carers can safely get them out and changed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719641 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 18:59:33 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2719641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I can see that, definitely. When I worked ft I occasionally got pictures and that was the highlight of my day. But as an anxious person I still am glad cameras are not an option. It's hard to tell whether it's the norm or you happened to catch them at a bad moment or if you should be concerned about catching them at that moment then what else is happening. To some extent I just needed to let go. But my dd who is in child care is now *four* and was not in center care until just before three, and only half days, so I am coming from a different place too.</p> <p>Edit to add, and in the interest of revealing my own maybe bias my kids are pet Asian and my dd is on the quiet side so if anything we get the opposite labels. </p> <p>Hope you figure it out soon and have no further issues with the center. Maybe a new room could be a good fit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719636 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 18:45:43 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2719636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjd: I'd love some more suggestions on dealing with his behavior. If you have them please share. </p> <p>@SugarMaple: I feel like this is the beginning of him being labeled. Because all four baby rooms work closely together in terms of covering rooms I think there's no way for him to get around it. When he was in the crawling class room his teachers said things to us that made me worry he was playing too roughly, but they always said he was smiling and being playful. I would like to know what has changed.</p> <p>@2littlepumpkins: I don't check the cameras to see if his teachers are doing something I don't like although I have seen that. I check to see what he's up to. Watching my little man eat in his high chair or crawl through a climbing apparatus or pull toys out of a bin just to put them right back in are highlights of my day. </p> <p>@katsupgirl: @daniellemybelle: it really is the label. When A's teacher was up in arms about his bite on Tuesday and that we should have been notified as soon as it happened I told DH not to make it a bigger deal because the next day our son may be doing something to some other baby. I don't know what is the fate of the biter and what words were used to describe him, but mine was called aggressive and did not bite anyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719631 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 18:26:46 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2719631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was editing my response for a couple hours dealing...</p> <p>Thank you @gingerbebe: that is what we are feeling. I think I will push back the meeting so I have time to gather my thoughts some more.</p> <p>@DesertDreams88: there is. One of the directors is a POC, there are 5 or 6 total. He's had teachers of all races. A has was the only black baby in his class for several months. There was a biracial girl, but she started walking and moved up over a month ago. Another black baby boy joined his class about two weeks ago. </p> <p>I am very friendly with the lead teacher who is usually there at pick up. She filled DH on all the incidents last week. They have a good rapport too. I don't interact much with the teacher who requested he move to the next room. She comes and leaves in the middle of the day. However, I see her at every class event. We don't miss any. </p> <p>@azjax: once we start the transition process it's pretty much a done deal. Our daycare has three infant rooms. 6 weeks to ready to crawl then those babes go to the next room and legit crawl then those babies are supposed to transition when they start standing. Our son was transitioned when he was still just crawling and I was so worried about how he would fare with the standing, cruising babies. He was fine and about two weeks later was more mobile. He transitioned with a few friends from the other class and a couple more came over within the month. To me, they all seem to move well. I see the babies reach out to touch and interact with him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719627 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 17:57:16 +0000 daniellemybelle 2719627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: I agree about implicit bias &amp; labels. There's research on this with very young children &amp; childcare.</p> <p>I think most everything sounds really okay except using that label - but that context makes the rest a little more concerning. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719626 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 17:56:05 +0000 katsupgirl 2719626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: excellent response! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719625 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 17:55:41 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2719625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Meeting is set for tomorrow after work!</p> <p>@kiddosc: any ideas on how to communicate better? </p> <p>@Truth Bombs: if I just look at the facts I am ok with how daycare is handling the situation, which is why when the director asked if he could visit the next class room I said yes right away. When DH and I think about him being labeled aggressive and knowing the stigma associated with it we are defensive.</p> <p> @Mrs. Cereal: we are finally taking the daycare tour I have rescheduled a couple times as issues here have come up and smoothed out. </p> <p>@SeptMomma12: the cameras are a competitive advantage the daycare advertises. They encourage parents to call. Transitioning to the next room shouldn't be too bad since the other teacher watches him with some of the walking babies in the morning. I think they are more scheduled though.</p> <p>@looch: I definitely will ask about the triggers. When I picked him up today there was a 3rd incident. He was bitten after he slapped. The floater teacher had no other details. Was this a new biting child? What prompted A to touch the child in the first place? </p> <p>@ShootingStar: in this case A is one of the younger crawler, cruisers in the room, but they all move. So far all of the incident report incidents have occurred among mobile babies. When A was taking babies' pacis the itty bitty infant teacher told me some of the parents would call in and ask her to redirect him if they saw him too close. He's in that room very first thing in the morning. He has not taken a pacifier in months. </p> <p>@T.H.O.U.: I hope the director says just that- this is all normal.</p> <p>I appreciate everyone weighing in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719617 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 17:29:52 +0000 DesertDreams88 2719617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As an educator I thoroughly love @gingerbebe:'s response and I sense that is where your heart is, as well. Is there much racial diversity at your daycare?</p> <p>Babies touch each other and don't understand what is gentle vs. forceful touch. I am really surprised your daycare had you sign an incident report for slapping and scratching bc I have a hard time believing the "injuries" were significant. </p> <p>I agree with others that maybe a trial run in the next class *could* work. However, do you think the daycare teachers are trying to prematurely suggest a move up to the next classroom maybe because you and they are not on good terms? How are their face-to-face interactions with you- warm, brisk, cool, purely professional, friendly? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719609 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 16:56:07 +0000 gingerbebe 2719609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Whew, I had to wait until my baby was down for nap so I could respond to this fully.</p> <p>I would request to have a meeting with the director, as well as any teachers that your son would interact with (as in his current infant room teacher and the teacher in the next room). I would use this meeting to very kindly, very civilly, and very politely engage the staff and administration at your daycare in a conversation about implicit racial bias. I would come prepared with printed out copies of articles (there is no shortage of government data, scholarly articles, etc about labeling black children - especially boys - as aggressive and the effect this has on discipline, grades, crime, behavior, etc).</p> <p>I would be very clear that you nor your husband are accusing the staff of being racist or that that anything nefarious is going on, but I think you can say you want to engage in this conversation so that the daycare can understand where YOU as the parents are coming from. Words like "aggressive" matters. Sequestering your kid in a crib away from others matters. Show them the articles - many of these studies show that the labeling starts in preschool - and talk to them about how you are going to have to watch and advocate for your son for the rest of his childhood because of these concerns. Tell them THIS is why you are probably more sensitive than other parents, THIS is why you probably watch the camera more, etc.</p> <p>You will probably be met with defensive feelings or assurances that race has absolutely nothing to do with how they are treating the children. But you can counter with the example you gave above and talk about how one child biting was called "playful" while your child hitting was called aggressive. You can tell them even if nothing was meant by the terms, they nonetheless used charged terms that incite a reaction in you as a person of color and as the parent of a boy of color.</p> <p>Tell the daycare you legitimately want to find a good peaceful solution that is best for everyone. Its not okay with you that your child is hitting or "being aggressive." But that you want this to be a learning and training experience for the staff about to deal with these issues from a cultural and racial sensitivity standpoint. Your's is not the first nor last child of color who is going to come through those doors and it matters. </p> <p>Words matter. Your child being labeled as "aggressive" as a BABY in the INFANT room (which is ridiculous) will follow along - "Oh, A has always been aggressive, he's been that way since he was a baby. Oh, he's always been kind of a bully." This cascades to being a repeat offender, not being allowed to come to class (aka toddler suspension), etc. </p> <p>This matters for you too, because this affects you psychologically in how you parent. You get stuff from school saying your kid is aggressive and then you overcompensate at home by being stricter and being firmer. That can cause a cycle that just sucks and inadvertently reinforce to your kid that he IS aggressive and naughty and then he starts to act according to how he's being treated.</p> <p>If moving him to another room where other children who are physically advanced might help, then let them try it and see if it helps. But make it clear that it seems like the infant room SHOULD be able to handle a RANGE of developmental capabilities. Some kids crawl fast, some kids walk sooner, some talk faster, etc. Your son may be stronger and faster, but he's not even walking yet, so it seems like he's not some aberration that's extremely advanced or something. </p> <p>I'm so sorry you are dealing with these issues so soon. Its sucks to always have to think about things like this and second guess yourself, but I think these type of things aren't going to get better until we make efforts to sincerely engage in these hard conversations and try to help each other understand. Hugs to you.</p> <p><a href="http://www.pbs.org/newshour/rundown/black-preschoolers-likely-face-suspension/" rel="nofollow">http://www.pbs.org/newshour/rundown/black-preschoolers-likely-face-suspension/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719605 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 16:44:16 +0000 azjax 2719605@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds to me like your son is probably physically ready for the next room. Initially, I was nervous when DS was moved from the little baby room to the mobile baby room, because some of the other kids looked so BIG and were wearing SHOES and surely the would mow right over my crawler. It was a great move for DS, and it wasn't long before he was running around in his own shoes with the bigger kids. I don't liek the "aggressive" label that your DCP has applied here, and I think you might like to discuss that with your director.</p> <p>Why not try a week in the new classroom and see how it goes? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719602 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 16:32:23 +0000 DesertDreams88 2719602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have enough time to reply adequately but I wanted to say that if I could afford it, I'd prefer a daycare with cameras, and you can bet I'd have the live feed up on my computer / phone during break and lunch. I miss LO throughout the day and I'd love to see him on camera. I think that aspect of your post is normal / understandable. However I wouldn't call or question the center unless I saw something repeatedly happen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719598 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 16:21:24 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2719598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't love the use of the word "aggressive" but I don't really see any red flags in terms of how they are dealing with things. I wouldn't be shocked to find out that the parent of another child in the class has been on them to look out for your son. Parents can be that way sometimes even though the "aggressive" behaviors are normal. </p> <p>I don't love that they used that word with you, but I can see why maybe it was the first word to come to mind and I would maybe feel them out as far as what they meant. It's entirely possible and when you hear it you think more along th elines of bullying, intentional behavior, when they just mean overpowering other babies.. Like I said, I don't love it and I think they should have used another word, but depending how they are approaching the situation, I'd forgive it. (and if the teacher who wrote the report is wanting him in her class, that seems like a good sign that she doesn't want to isolate him? not sure..) </p> <p>That said, we don't have cameras at preschool and if we did I still don't think I would check them. It would make me anxious and I trust the teachers. If you are checking them frequently, I would maybe want to reevaluate that habit to see if it's just a habit or if you really trust them at all. It may be that there is nothing wrong with the center, but if you really have a bad feeling, maybe it is worth exploring other options, or at least looking into something different for 2 year old preschool when you get there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719589 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 15:53:50 +0000 mrsjd 2719589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I won't comment on how to deal with the behavior issues and the managing of your baby's care, I think you've gotten some good and detailed advice that is excellent food for thought.</p> <p>I just want to briefly chime in that I would not be ok with the use of the terms "aggression" or "aggressive." And I would redirect the daycare facility and its teachers not to use this term. Language and labelling is important, in my opinion, and like other preferences as a parent, I think it isn't unreasonable to ask that they not use it. I'm easygoing to a fault, but that term would be a big problem for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719575 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 15:36:24 +0000 SugarMaple 2719575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is tough. I don't think any of the issues in themselves are too harsh, but the combination of them together combined with your overall feelings of 'something not right' would be enough for me to start looking for a different daycare option. Do you feel like they are going to target/label your child? If so, keep looking to find a spot you feel good about him attending. If you feel truly feel they respect and have your child's best interest at heart, then you may need to trust their judgment on some of these issues. I don't think there is a wrong answer here. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719574 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 15:35:12 +0000 catlady 2719574@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't love the use of the word "aggressive", but nothing else seems that concerning to me. It sounds like your baby is physically advanced and would benefit from being around older, more mobile children. My baby is in a room with mostly non-mobile infants and there is an older, much larger baby who is very fast and always getting into things when the teachers turn their backs for even a second. I actually know this baby very well and love him (his mom is a friend of mine), but he will do things like poke other babies while they are napping through the slats of the cribs, try to climb up the furniture, and he's always trying to escape and getting himself into a possible dangerous situation if someone opens the door (it opens inwards). I have definitely seen the teachers briefly put this child into a crib so they can attend to another baby. It's not ideal but sometimes it seems like the safest thing in the moment.</p> <p>@ShootingStar: I'm in MA too...had no idea they weren't supposed to be doing that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/aggressive-baby-1#post-2719556 Mon, 03 Apr 2017 15:17:21 +0000 ShootingStar 2719556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>All babies go through a stage where they are grabbing, pulling, smacking, etc. It's not aggression, babies are just curious and learning and they don't understand that their actions can be painful. As they get older you can gradually teach them to use "gentle hands" or keep their hands to themselves.</p> <p>As for segregating your son, I wouldn't be thrilled if I was you. Here in MA you're not supposed to leave babies in cribs for any length of time unless they're sleeping or trying to sleep. The only exception is if the other babies are much younger than him. If it's a 3 month old propped in a bouncer and your son is close to a year and scratching/poking them, I think that is justifiable as a very temporary solution. </p> <p>I think you should sit down with the director and the teachers. Talk about what's age appropriate, talk about the steps they're taking to meet your son's needs, and talk about what happens if he moves to the other classroom and they're still not happy with his physicality. </p> <p>I'll also say that daycare is tough. I constantly have to try and reset my expectations of what is realistic from a daycare center. I ended up having to leave a center because I was so mad at them all the time. At my new center they do some of the same things, but I'm able to give them more benefit of the doubt. </p>