https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 27 May 2026 04:42:54 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ahgrandparents-and-boundaries#post-407707 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 12:23:29 +0000 Mrs. Blue 407707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interesting question. My mom and MIL will be taking care of our little ones for a few months this summer before they go to daycare, and I'm a little concerned about the grandma/mama confusion...on the part of our moms, not our babies. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ahgrandparents-and-boundaries#post-407663 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 11:54:30 +0000 Honeybee 407663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We struggle with this, too. We don't even see our parents that often (my parents every month or two, my in-laws a couple times a year), but I feel like it gets sticky when we are around them with the kids. Last time my mom visited, I actually had to tell her to back off a little because she was undermining DH trying to discipline DD...</p> <p>I think the straightforward approach is the best, especially if you have to see them often. Just let your MIL know that you've got it covered, and ask her to do something else (get his lovey, a snack, a distracting toy, etc...). Hopefully, she'll be understanding and give you a little space. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ahgrandparents-and-boundaries#post-407430 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 10:28:47 +0000 Clementine 407430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sammyfab: he is! he started one day shy of being 9 mos. it's been so awesome but also painful i.e. falling all over the place! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ahgrandparents-and-boundaries#post-407409 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 10:20:12 +0000 Sammyfab 407409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Your LO is walking already!?!?!?</p> <p>I think boundary issues are inherent in grandmotherhood and unavoidable. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ahgrandparents-and-boundaries#post-407399 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 10:15:17 +0000 London Mama 407399@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I struggle with this too, and I imagine I will even more when I have to hand LO over to daycare and/or MIL and go to work myself. So far I have dealt with it by not considering MIL's feelings. I have made my boundaries clear and at one point I asked her not to come around unless hubby was also at home, but I have no doubt this will be a recurring issue as MIL has a tendency to forget and slip back into old habits.</p> <p>I guess my only advice is to focus on the benefits for LO and that he/she gets to develop a good relationship with grandma. That's how I get through it, I remind myself that it's good for LO to have exposure to other adults... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ahgrandparents-and-boundaries#post-407370 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 10:05:09 +0000 blackbird 407370@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh boundaries. I hear ya. Maybe she felt like it was her 'job' to take care of him since he was there and fell while under her care? He probably does fall and bump his head a lot during the day....maybe she thought it was no big deal? Not enough to make you late for work? I dunno =\ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ahgrandparents-and-boundaries#post-407360 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 10:01:58 +0000 T.H.O.U. 407360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aww I'm sorry. Its so hard to leave in the morning for daycare. We have to physically hand her off most mornings </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ahgrandparents-and-boundaries#post-407357 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 10:00:47 +0000 Foodnerd81 407357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh that's a really tough one! My sister deals with something similar-- her MIL thinks she hovers and doesn't let her son explore on his own, but MIL only sees them in her apartment, which is full of expensive, breakable, and likely to injure him artwork. She lets him be in their home which is baby proofed, but you can only be so hands off when there is a big glass sculpture not quite out of an 18 month old's reach! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ahgrandparents-and-boundaries#post-407323 Tue, 20 Nov 2012 09:52:38 +0000 Clementine 407323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO has been walking (well taking steps and falling), which means he's also been bumping into a ton of things. This morning he fell backwards and hit his head hard against the wood floor. I rushed over to console him but my MIL who watches him literally tried push me out the door. I had to snatch him back from her because what mother could possibly leave for work when their kid is screaming for them?! </p> <p>I love my MIL and am truly grateful for her taking care of LO, but sometimes I think the boundaries of grandmom and mom get sticky. Also I don't really appreciate playing touch football with my child in the morning. Sigh...#boundaryissues</p> <p>How do you deal with grandparents and boundary issues without hurting their feelings? </p>