https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 27 Jun 2026 09:33:32 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-refusing-to-go-potty#post-2521656 Mon, 11 Apr 2016 15:17:11 +0000 BeachMama 2521656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@adira: It's all the time. Both at home and out and about </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-refusing-to-go-potty#post-2521623 Mon, 11 Apr 2016 14:55:50 +0000 Adira 2521623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just curious - is this problem all the time? Or do you find it's mostly just when you are out and about? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-refusing-to-go-potty#post-2521615 Mon, 11 Apr 2016 14:52:01 +0000 jetsa 2521615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Finfan: @BeachMama: we had 3 accidents in an hour yesterday. I'm like, "hey we don't pee in our pants" and he said "I get new pants" which is just frustrating. We'll see how today went when I get home, he had friends over yesterday so I know he was busy but come on buddy </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-refusing-to-go-potty#post-2520719 Sun, 10 Apr 2016 10:42:21 +0000 BeachMama 2520719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@brownepiano: I think that's part of it. But it's also part stubbornness and wanting to refuse anything I suggest.</p> <p>I'll probably stop trying to suggest she go and also try to make it more of our routine. Thanks for all the suggestions! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-refusing-to-go-potty#post-2520619 Sun, 10 Apr 2016 00:37:18 +0000 irene 2520619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Same problem here!</p> <p>I will follow and read all the above suggestions but this is what we do .... don't judge:</p> <p>- Sometimes when he doesn't want to go and you know he needs to go or should go right now to avoid accidents later, I'd tell him, hey, I want to go first, and you'd go second, alright? Because I want to go first. You don't want to go anyway you can go after me. Then he'd go no, I want to go first! And he'd go to the bathroom with me. That works maybe 50-75% of the time when he does actually need to go.</p> <p>- When DS was younger / just started training, DH somehow invented the concept that Godzilla would be able to smell pee pee in his tummy and would come if he smells that. If DS didn't want to go, DH would listen to his tummy and said he heard something inside and said wait, he also hear Godzilla is coming. Then DS would be all freaked out and begged to go to the bathroom. And he'd be very relieved when he went and flushed Godzilla away and we're like oh great, he went to xyz (our neighbor)'s house now. We don't use this often, only very sparingly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-refusing-to-go-potty#post-2520582 Sat, 09 Apr 2016 19:40:40 +0000 avivoca 2520582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you had her checked for a UTI? It may hurt to go so she holds it until she can't anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-refusing-to-go-potty#post-2520485 Sat, 09 Apr 2016 13:44:35 +0000 brownepiano 2520485@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is she just too into what she is doing to take a break?<br /> DS is only 2 but we've been working on this when he clearly has to go but doesn't want to have to stop doing whatever. He does better when I just let him bring his toy with him (though this doesn't always apply). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-refusing-to-go-potty#post-2520424 Sat, 09 Apr 2016 11:42:46 +0000 caterw 2520424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sympathizing! My DD is 2.5 and she totally gets the potty thing but WILL NOT DO IT. She knows when she needs to go and can take off her clothes and diaper, but she will actually hold it if I sit her on the potty to make her try (and then immediately goes as soon as I put on a fresh diaper). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-refusing-to-go-potty#post-2520378 Sat, 09 Apr 2016 09:31:34 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2520378@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BeachMama: if she's really that strong-willed and wouldn't pee even if you sat her on the potty, the. I'd go with what @hummusgirl: suggested. Take the "power-struggle" away from the situation by genuinely not caring if she pees herself. Tell her gently that you know she's been ignoring her body and that is not healthy for her, but you also know she can listen to her body and treat it well by going potty when she needs to go. Let her know that she's totally in charge of going to the bathroom, but she's also in charge of cleaning up messes if she ignores her body. This route is a PITA, but I've seen it work for a couple different strong-willed kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-refusing-to-go-potty#post-2520358 Sat, 09 Apr 2016 08:29:00 +0000 MrsSRS 2520358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We also build it into our day. Everyone goes potty and washes hands before meals and snacks, before going outside, before getting in the car, before and after sleeping. That's enough times to prevent potty dances. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-refusing-to-go-potty#post-2520356 Sat, 09 Apr 2016 08:21:05 +0000 Charm54 2520356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DD does this sometimes. She is totally trained, but is so stubborn that sometimes when I suggest it, she refuses. </p> <p>She doesn't have this issue at all though at daycare, where potty time is built in to part of their day so I try and do the same . "Time for lunch, so we need to potty first" etc. It has helped a lot.</p> <p>If she's being super stubborn I will pull out my wild card: "Either you potty, or I will have to put a pull up on you". She hates pull ups with a burning fiery passion so this works 100% of the time haha </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-refusing-to-go-potty#post-2520354 Sat, 09 Apr 2016 08:16:41 +0000 hummusgirl 2520354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you try *not* reminding her to go? I'd say something like "You've been having more accidents lately, and you don't want to go potty when I suggest it. I want you to know that I trust you to listen to your body and go when you need to. I'm not going to remind you anymore and let's see if that helps." Or something like that. Basically, back off, try to take away the power struggle aspect of it and see if anything changes. You could also ask her if she has any suggestions for how you can help her. Maybe putting the ball back in her court will help her rise to the occasion? </p> <p>We try not to force DS (3.5) to go and he usually does pretty well with it. It's hard not to say something though! But usually trying to force it just ends up more frustrating/infuriating for all involved. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-refusing-to-go-potty#post-2520267 Fri, 08 Apr 2016 22:35:59 +0000 BeachMama 2520267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@misolee: I wish I could force her to go potty! There is no forcing her to do anything. </p> <p>@jetsa: yep, she's had more accidents lately than she did when she first learned. She's been trained for almost a year so it's kinda ridiculous </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-refusing-to-go-potty#post-2520241 Fri, 08 Apr 2016 21:28:47 +0000 misolee 2520241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine went thru that phase and still does sometimes when we're out and about. She'll say no when I ask her to go. She's 3.5. We did two things:</p> <p>1)I make her repeat the phrase "Now I know, don't wait to go". It's from like a cartoon short on the Disney junior app. It helps a little bc it reminds her don't wait to go. </p> <p>2)I just force her to go to bathroom. She'll say she doesn't need to but I ask her to come with me or make her come into the stall and sit her down. She goes every single time she sits down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-refusing-to-go-potty#post-2520220 Fri, 08 Apr 2016 20:46:39 +0000 Finfan 2520220@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jetsa: us too. :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-refusing-to-go-potty#post-2519964 Fri, 08 Apr 2016 14:39:20 +0000 Revel 2519964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Same issues with my girl, although she's only been trained for about 4 months and is almost 3. The potty dance/grabbing is def tough. I'm trying to talk it out for now but we havent had any success "making" her go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-refusing-to-go-potty#post-2519945 Fri, 08 Apr 2016 14:22:29 +0000 jetsa 2519945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just commiseration over here, Jack has been trained for 6 months and has started doing this. It is like he can't stop long enough to go and he has had more accidents in the last week then he has had in months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-refusing-to-go-potty#post-2519942 Fri, 08 Apr 2016 14:19:41 +0000 BeachMama 2519942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD will be 4 in May. She's been potty trained for about a year. She is a very strong willed and headstrong girl. She often obviously has to go potty (holding herself, dancing around, etc) but absolutely refuses to go when I suggest it. This can go on for hours until she is finally about to pee her pants and races to the bathroom. Or has an accident. It's been frustrating for us for a number of reasons, the least of which is that it's kind of embarrassing to be out while she keeps grabbing herself but refuses to go. And that she has accidents after us asking her several times to go.</p> <p>Does anyone else's LO do this? Any suggestions on getting her to go? She has seen the DT episode plenty of times and will sing the song but doesn't really apply it to herself. </p>