https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 17 Apr 2026 18:56:48 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-sleep-help#post-2582137 Thu, 07 Jul 2016 07:54:32 +0000 KayKay 2582137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@happybaker: my DD1 is 4.2y. We have tried to keep the bedtime routine as short as possible -- don't do bath every night (and it's more of an early-evening thing as opposed to right before bedtime), if she is up later than normal, we don't do as many books, etc. So generally the routine is 2 books + 2 songs, but she can trade a book for a song/etc. If you're looking to cut down on time, I'd maybe move part of the reading/her reading back to after dinner?</p> <p>We have used some combination of a nightlight (Ikea LED one on her nightstand) or some star lights from Target that get plugged in when she goes through one of her "no dark" phases. We also play either a song or white noise on repeat from an old ipod. After all of that is settled, we sing her one song and give her whatever kisses/hugs/snuggles before we leave the room. Some nights she stalls a bit, but I comply a bit before putting my foot down that this is the "last thing". </p> <p>In the MOTN, maybe 3-4 nights/week, she walks down to our room to ask either DH or I for "snuggles". DH usually falls asleep in there (his choice), but I have been pretty firm about telling her I will do 3 snuggles (or whatever) and then I need to go back to my bed so I can sleep.</p> <p>I think at this age, they are able to understand and listen to reasoning (even if they don't like it!), so I would just explain whatever the "new rules" are going to be, and then start enforcing them. You could use some new things during the transition (e.g., music, a new light/nightlights, a new doll or toy that is a "special snuggling toy", etc), if you think that might be helpful too. </p> <p>And clearly by the details of our routine/nights, I think it's just normal for this age to want to be with your parents, stall at bedtime (to some extent), and want snuggles during the night. You just need to find a manageable solution and hope it tapers off a bit! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-sleep-help#post-2582132 Thu, 07 Jul 2016 07:47:31 +0000 cascademom 2582132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Munchkin: @HappyBaker: Here's where we got the idea of the tokens from when he talks about toddler sleep: <a href="http://www.babycenter.com/0_q-a-dr-karps-solutions-for-toddler-sleep-problems_10375754.bc" rel="nofollow">http://www.babycenter.com/0_q-a-dr-karps-solutions-for-toddler-sleep-problems_10375754.bc</a></p> <p>We use two napkin rings. At one point, we had three, but widdled it down to two not too long ago. We still incentives like getting TMNT socks to stay in bed too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-sleep-help#post-2582128 Thu, 07 Jul 2016 07:41:14 +0000 HappyBaker 2582128@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks so much for all the great ideas!! Good to know a lot of you have also been here.</p> <p>@MrsSRS: sending DS to Grandma's for a weekend would probably help a lot! We are always tiptoe-ing around her in the MOTN so she doesn't wake him up! </p> <p>@Mrsbells: Music is a great idea and is something new I can introduce to transition out of the laying in bed, thanks!</p> <p>@cascademom: Love the token idea! Where did you get them? Just like poker chips?</p> <p>@skipra: I'm not really sure if she needs more sleep. If she takes a long nap at school (i.e. they forget to wake her up) she won't fall asleep until 9/9:30. And days when she takes a short nap or no nap she really has trouble settling until 7:30/8pm. Part of that might just be we get home from daycare at 5:30 so she's trying to cram in dinner / bath / playtime in two hours and feels a little gipped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-sleep-help#post-2582105 Thu, 07 Jul 2016 06:45:15 +0000 Munchkin 2582105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cascademom: can you tell me more about the tokens? Our LO is almost 3.5 and we have a sticker chart for no whining and being nice. What are the actual tokens and how did you introduce them? I am intrigued. </p> <p>I too have been falling asleep w LO and I am starting to feel resentful. I would like uninterrupted sleep and time w DH in the evenings. </p> <p>Sigh. Got to put the foot down soon. Our LO is a stubborn and strong personality. Last time we tried to get her to stay in bed after the bedtime routine we got lots and LOTS of screaming. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-sleep-help#post-2581919 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 17:40:43 +0000 skipra 2581919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you think she needs more sleep? It sounds like the max she's getting is 10-10.5 hours and I think for that age 10-12 is normal. Maybe she is just constantly overtired making it more difficult to fall and stay asleep? My LO is also turning 4 in Sept and he will normally sleep from 9 to 7 with about a 2 hour nap. He will sometimes skip his nap but really needs it and sleeps in the following morning.<br /> If you don't think that's the problem I'd start with trying to get her to fall asleep on her own and explaining why it's important to sttn.<br /> Good luck! It sounds like it must be a big struggle for you to get enough sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-sleep-help#post-2581893 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 17:04:40 +0000 whiskers 2581893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 3.5yo is similar. We keep getting in the rut when grandma visits and will lay with her forever. Right now we do a sticker chart and play some soft music. We will lay with her for 2 minutes or so but we tell her that's it and after that she can't ask for us again. Consistency is key, it seems. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-sleep-help#post-2581855 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 15:50:45 +0000 Revel 2581855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is my life with my 3 year old! So much commiseration. Good ideas in this thread - I haven't tried a sticker chart yet but I might give it a shot, not sure if she is too young to appreciate it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-sleep-help#post-2581750 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 14:18:57 +0000 cascademom 2581750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're at almost 4 years old and have had this problem since he switched to a big boy bed a little after 3 years old and a move. What's worked for us is constant reinforcement that once he's in his bedroom for the night, he's there. He also gets two tokens for a toy or another trip outside of his room. Once those are gone, he has to stay in his room. If he gets out of bed for reasons other than potty after bedtime routine, he gets toys taken away and the gate goes up. Being consistent and strict about it has been key. This morning, he woke me up at 5am because of thunder. Totally acceptable. After a song and a head rub, he was back in bed until little brother and I woke him up at 7:30am. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-sleep-help#post-2581741 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 14:05:18 +0000 Mrsbells 2581741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: my LO is 4 now. She has gone through all the things your described. We decided to just Really put our foot down. We started by explaining to her that one we get through bath, story and prayer she will have to lie down by herself. We would play music and she had a night light we would just say goodnight and leave her. She would whine and call for us, and she still does that sometimes. We just talk to her through the monitor. Every now amd then we go to check on her. Over time of consistently doing that she adjusted to it and instead of calling for us would have conversations with her stuffed animals til she falls asleep </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-sleep-help#post-2581734 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 13:53:28 +0000 Freckles 2581734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter is now 4 years and 3 months and has been sleeping in her room for the entire night this past week.</p> <p>Previously: we would stay in her room next to her until she fell asleep. she would come into our room multiple times during the evening and would have very little sleep.</p> <p>I slowly started to limit how long we stayed in her room. I told her that i would stay in her room for 10 minutes and if she doesn't fall asleep within that time then i would leave and come back in 10 minutes. I would then do 10 minute checks until she fell asleep on her own.</p> <p>She started to come into our room at around 11:30pm which was early enough that we had more will power to send her back to her room. We would stay with her for 10 minutes and go back to our room. We now keep the door wide open and a night light on. The turning point came a few days ago when she came into our room and wanted the covers. I was so hot and told her no covers. After 5 minutes she informed me she was going back to her room...and she slept until 7:30am! Since then, she has been sleeping throughout the night.</p> <p>I know every kid is different but i really think consistency is key. Previously she was coming into our room at 2am so it was impossible to fight her. When we fall asleep next to her, she gets used to us being there. I've been praising her every day so i hope it sticks!!</p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-sleep-help#post-2581666 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 12:59:51 +0000 MrsSRS 2581666@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you send your other LO to a different room or maybe Grandma's for a night or two and tough it out? After telling DD that she needs to sleep and you won't be snuggling until morning? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-sleep-help#post-2581663 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 12:58:46 +0000 MrsSRS 2581663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm guessing you've tried the positive reinforcement route? Sticker chart and a nice big reward once the chart is full? Once she gets used to sleeping through you should be good, it's just how to get there! Or a toddler clock? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-sleep-help#post-2581585 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 11:37:33 +0000 HappyBaker 2581585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Bumping to see if anyone else has ideas! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-sleep-help#post-2581419 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 06:35:42 +0000 HappyBaker 2581419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlecasita1122: Thanks for the reply! Yes our routine is already pretty long and very specific - we read 3 books to hear, then brush teeth and potty, then she reads the same 3 books back to us. I think earning a reward is a good idea, she recently got money for the first time from someone for helping out with something, so maybe I can try doing .25 cents or something since that is what she's into! </p> <p>@OldpuebloJenn: @mrsbookworm: Thanks for the commiseration! Part of me realizes this won't last forever and someday she won't want me in her bed, but the other part is just sooo sick and tired of waking up sore from squeezing in her twin bed with her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-sleep-help#post-2581415 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 06:32:00 +0000 mrsbookworm 2581415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a similar problem. My 3yo goes to bed ok but wakes multiple times in the night needing someone to be in his room. I've successfully made it out if his bed and into the chair in his room but now I'm stuck. Plus, the chair is not a comfortable place to fall asleep! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-sleep-help#post-2581370 Tue, 05 Jul 2016 21:59:24 +0000 OldpuebloJenn 2581370@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm right there with you sister. DD goes to bed okay, but just about every night- screaming wake ups. And I go and sleep with her. But I have a new baby coming in 6weeks. I've resorted to bribing her, and that's not working as hoped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-sleep-help#post-2581369 Tue, 05 Jul 2016 21:56:40 +0000 littlecasita1122 2581369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Does she have a getting ready for bed routine before you lay down with her? My son who just turned 4 is very particular with the routine but it works well for us as he falls asleep on his own. If it's a shower night, we'll do PJ's and lotion after, then brush teeth, then read 2-3 books. My husband and I kiss him good-night and then it's lights out, door closed. He's allowed to bring another book into bed with him, though I don't know how he reads it as he only has a dim nightlight in his room when we turn off the light. He also has 3 or 4 "guys" aka stuffed animals he will choose to sleep with. He usually has a white noise machine or fan on so it's not dead quiet in his room. Not sure if any of this will help you!</p> <p>Can you try seeing if she can earn points towards a special new toy if she tries to fall asleep on her own by herself? My son is big into "earning" things right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/almost-4-year-old-sleep-help#post-2581336 Tue, 05 Jul 2016 20:40:37 +0000 HappyBaker 2581336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD will be 4 in September, and I am crying "uncle" with our current sleep situation. Bedtime is 30-45 minutes, which I'm fine with, but then is followed by DH or I laying in her bed with her until she is asleep or at least too drowsy to put up a fight. At least once, usually twice a night she will wake up and cry/yell for me to go "snuggle" with her, which means laying in her bed again until she is asleep. Unfortunately I also usually fall asleep so I end up in there way longer than I want to. In the MOTN it has to be me, not DH or she screams. Screaming is not okay because it inevitably wakes little brother up in the room next door (both have sound machines but she is LOUD!)</p> <p>She no longer naps on the weekends and daycare limits her nap to 30 minutes. We start the bedtime routine at 7pm but don't finish until close to 8pm, and we wake her up at 6am for daycare.</p> <p>Any suggestions welcome, as I am seriously at my wits end with this and can't do it for much longer!</p> <p>I 100% realize that I created this problem by ever doing it in the first place, but at the time my younger kid was a baby who was also not sleeping so I just did whatever worked to get some sleep! </p>