https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 02 May 2026 01:56:56 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1660220 Tue, 27 May 2014 11:46:42 +0000 snowjewelz 1660220@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At least FIL just said he forgot and agreed to throw it out... SMIL being ticked off is just crazy! It's a bag of peanuts! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1660215 Tue, 27 May 2014 11:44:00 +0000 alphagam84 1660215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Who carries around a baggie of peanuts in the first place?</p> <p>Why would the step MIL be annoyed you threw out the baggie? Stupid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656986 Sun, 25 May 2014 08:06:25 +0000 Cole 1656986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I might be over thinking this but the fact that he traveled with peanuts would make me think he remembered and knew you wouldn't have any. My husband has a severe allergy and even though he is an adult I don't let them in my house. I don't want him to ever worry about eating in his own home. It is stressful enough going elsewhere. No one has ever complained or been anything but awesome about it. </p> <p>Ironically, his parent's house is like a mine field. His father actually forgot and offered him peanuts at Christmas. He apologized because they were salt free and my husband said something not very polite and my fil was all in a huff because "it's not a big deal they are unsalted... " </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656907 Sun, 25 May 2014 00:43:34 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1656907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: two unless, three cousins... stupid Uncle isn't the dad of Allergic Cousin. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656855 Sat, 24 May 2014 22:26:14 +0000 Anagram 1656855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jump Rope: wait, is the cousin also allergic to tree nuts?</p> <p>My sister has a tree nut allergy but loves peanuts (which are legumes and totally different). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656837 Sat, 24 May 2014 22:02:28 +0000 T-Mom 1656837@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You would be surprised by how unaware most people are about the seriousness of allergies. Unfortunately, we allergy parents have to be in constant education mode because most people just don't understand how serious the allergy can be, as well as how far peanuts and nuts pervade our food! I'm sorry you had to go through this and hopefully your family is open to learning more about how they can keep your LO safe! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656834 Sat, 24 May 2014 21:59:46 +0000 SnowLion 1656834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that it can be easy to forget about things we carry around especially when traveling and think it was an honest mistake. As for your SMIL I'm not sure what to think of this. It can be easy for those who don't live with food allergies to not understand how bad a reaction can be. If she is getting that upset over a bag of peanuts it feels like there might be deeper issues and this was how they come out. I agree with @meltini. Replace the peanuts before they leave if nothing it may keep the peace. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656801 Sat, 24 May 2014 21:41:36 +0000 Meltini 1656801@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd replace the peanuts before they leave. SMIL is being kind of dramatic but I also dont think you should have thrown them out since they weren't yours. You could have put it in another bag. I'd replace the peanuts you tossed just to keep the peace but definitely dont allow them in the house! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656788 Sat, 24 May 2014 21:29:53 +0000 yoursilverlining 1656788@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: that was my first thought too - wth, that's too odd!</p> <p>I would cut your FIL some slack since it sounded like he didn't understand the severity but was on board as soon as he understood. The SMIL would be a problem for me; since she sounds likes she is pissed over loosing all of $2 worth of zip locked peanuts. I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656786 Sat, 24 May 2014 21:29:23 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1656786@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: yeahhhhh.... I have a cousin with a severe peanut allergy. We were all on a family vacation &amp; my uncle (not his dad!) offered him a peacan roll because "they're not peanuts". </p> <p>Cue the WTFs and freak outs because cousin could have died. You can't even breathe on him if you've had peanuts.</p> <p>@Katrocap: FIL might have forgotten so I'd excuse it this once, and calmly remind him of the severity of the allergy and the precautions you need to take. But SMIL? Ew. </p> <p>I'm with Moose.. Why does he travel with a personal stash of peanuts? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656781 Sat, 24 May 2014 21:21:23 +0000 spaniellove 1656781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like allergies are not really on their radar and it slipped FIL's mind, while SMIL truly doesn't get it. Maybe you could get FIL a replacement snack he likes since it seemed like he was worried about not having something familiar to eat while visiting? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656746 Sat, 24 May 2014 20:26:57 +0000 matador84 1656746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was thinking the exact same things @MamaMoose: . </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656712 Sat, 24 May 2014 19:47:35 +0000 Greentea 1656712@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Katrocap: it sounds like he just forgot. While I think it is silly and kind of uncool of the SMIL to be upset you threw something deadly away, I would probably just send them a new bag to their home. That would be hard to have guests in close quarters. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656702 Sat, 24 May 2014 19:38:05 +0000 Andrea 1656702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, my family is the same. My mom sat next to my allergic daughter with a jar of peanut butter and started spreading it on a bagel. I freaked the F out and grabbed it all away from her. And she got really upset with me that I took her food away. I don't think she will ever "get it". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656700 Sat, 24 May 2014 19:37:24 +0000 MamaMoose 1656700@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Am the only one who finds it totally weird for someone to travel with a ziplock bag full of peanuts in their luggage? Who likes peanuts that much? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656695 Sat, 24 May 2014 19:29:39 +0000 Katrocap 1656695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@foodnerd81: You're right, FIL doesn't see DS very often, so I do need to cut him some slack on that. Everyone who sees DS regularly is almost overly concerned with his peanut allergy, so that's what I'm used to.</p> <p>@mrbee: Good suggestion!</p> <p>@bao: @sorrycharlie: @babycanuck: I do think that FIL felt bad.</p> <p>@beaker: Good idea! Hopefully this will never come up again, but if it does, I'll go with your suggestion.</p> <p>One other thing is that my FIL is careless and messy when he visits. His belongings are strewn everywhere and he drops things on the floor, so it's just disconcerting to think that even if he truly forgot, he could easily have dropped peanuts that DS would have found and put in his mouth. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656678 Sat, 24 May 2014 19:10:14 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 1656678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd just buy them a new undamaged bag and ask them not to open it at my house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656667 Sat, 24 May 2014 18:54:20 +0000 sorrycharlie 1656667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with the others..I think your FIL probably felt bad, but why the heck was she angry you threw away peanuts? I mean, they aren't super pricey.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656664 Sat, 24 May 2014 18:48:25 +0000 Bao 1656664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like your FIL genuinely forgot from what you are saying, but for you SMIL to get upset for throwing them out is just silly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656653 Sat, 24 May 2014 18:35:59 +0000 mrbee 1656653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe they're not educated on how serious a peanut allergy is? A link to an online video or article might help them take it more seriously... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656651 Sat, 24 May 2014 18:31:06 +0000 Foodnerd81 1656651@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I could see forgetting, especially if they don't see your son that much. I'd still be really annoyed but I could see how it could happen. But they should have been really upset and done everything they could to make it right, including throwing out the bag in an outside trash can and containing the potential dust. You are right to be annoyed, I think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656649 Sat, 24 May 2014 18:29:57 +0000 Boheme 1656649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not at all! An allergy like that is a huge deal! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656647 Sat, 24 May 2014 18:29:41 +0000 babycanuck 1656647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No you're not</p> <p>As someone who has a nut allergy (developed as an adult) and come from a family where nut allergies are all around, you were not be unreasonable at all.</p> <p>SMIL needs to take a pill<br /> FIL sounds like he felt bad </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-reasonable-fil-brings-peanuts-to-our-house-and-ds-is-allergic#post-1656645 Sat, 24 May 2014 18:27:36 +0000 Katrocap 1656645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Bear with me this is loooong ... :happy: </p> <p>First off, my 17 month old DS is allergic to peanuts. We found out the first time he tried peanut butter at 12 months and had to take him to the ER. His allergist said that although his first (and only, so far) reaction was mild, the next one could be dangerous. Also, DH has a cousin who is MAJORLY allergic to peanuts, almost the slightest ingestion would be fatal to him. So peanut allergies are a big deal in DH's family.</p> <p>Here's the story ... my FIL and his wife (DH's stepmom, but they've only been married a few years) were visiting the East Coast (where we live) from AZ last week. They stayed with us for 2 days. We have a small house, so they were sleeping on the pull-out sofa in the living room, where DS mainly plays. As soon as they arrived they started unpacking, and FIL pulls out a huge ziploc bag of peanuts. The bag had some small holes in it from being bumped around in the luggage. DH asked his dad to not have it in the house and he offered to put in on the porch. FIL said he forgot about DS's allergy. Then he saw that there was dust at the bottom of the bag which he admitted could be peanut dust. We live in a city that has problems with rats and didn't think leaving a hole-y bag of peanuts on the porch was a good idea, so we threw it away. When FIL's wife found out about that she was a bit ticked off.</p> <p>Anyway, I'm just shocked that any guest, much less family, would bring an allergen to a house where someone has a potentially fatal allergy and then is surprised/irritated when the hosts throw it away. Am I being unreasonable? </p>