https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 19 May 2026 02:48:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish/page/2#post-1199477 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 12:08:07 +0000 Adira 1199477@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: Not sure my mom would be up for that or not. I think we'll be getting back past her bedtime, so she might not want to sleep at our house or have to stay up late waiting for us! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish/page/2#post-1199258 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 11:00:32 +0000 wonderstruck 1199258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: Could your parents come to you? I know mine are always super excited to see Landon and don't mind coming to our house if we're going to be out late and want him sleeping in his normal surroundings. I agree that it's kind of a PITA to drive an hour to drop him off then another hour to your brother's. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish/page/2#post-1199191 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 10:34:55 +0000 Adira 1199191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: haha, thanks for that! I'm actually thinking it might be more convenient to stay there though because it's an hour drive to my parent's and then another hour drive to my brother's, so instead of having to drive an hour to my parent's and then another hour immediately to my brother's, it might be more convenient to go to my parent's Friday night and then go on to my brother's the next day. Or maybe I'm grasping at straws... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish/page/2#post-1199183 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 10:33:09 +0000 Adira 1199183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tlcbaby: I did go to a bachelorette party and a wedding without Xander and although pumping was a big PITA, I had a ton of fun and was glad I went! So hopefully this will be similar! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish/page/2#post-1199177 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 10:31:21 +0000 wonderstruck 1199177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: Honestly? I think you're over-thinking it and worrying yourself way too much. If you want to stay the night and your DH and parents are fine with that, sure, but if you don't think they will be or if it's an extra hassle...I'm sure Xander will be fine. He may be upset for a few minutes when you leave, but he will calm down and be happy. I know as mom we want to protect them from absolutely everything, but I don't think you need to totally change your routine and do a sleepover at your parent's house just to save Xander from possibly being a little bit anxious when you first leave. That's just my opinion, obviously you know Xander and what's best for him better than we do, but it seems like you're unnecessarily stressing over what should be a day to relax and have fun. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish/page/2#post-1199172 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 10:29:51 +0000 tlcbaby 1199172@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: Glad you decided to go! I was going to reply and suggest you go for it. I get that way, too, where it is just easier to skip out on things because of the trouble of pumping, babysitters, etc. but I think once you are there, you will be glad you went! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish/page/2#post-1199155 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 10:24:06 +0000 chopsuey 1199155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Go without baby and have fun!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish/page/2#post-1199151 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 10:22:36 +0000 Adira 1199151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: Perhaps! I'm actually thinking of maybe convincing Hubs to spend the night at my parent's on that Friday night, so that Xander will have Friday night and Saturday morning to get used to being there with my mom and us, and then he should be comfortable when we leave for the day on Saturday... not sure Hubs or my parents will go for that... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish/page/2#post-1199141 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 10:18:32 +0000 wonderstruck 1199141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm glad you're going to go! Declining wouldn't really be selfish, but I really feel that it's good and healthy for you and your marriage to occasionally have some time away from baby where you can just focus on having fun with your friends and each other.</p> <p>As far as being nervous about him having any anxiety with your parents, can you get to their house a bit early, like an hour or half-hour before you need to leave? Make it a transition instead of a sudden drop-off, like they can play with and talk to him while he's on your lap, then he can sit with them while you talk to and reassure him, and then once he's comfortable you can leave. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish/page/2#post-1199126 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 10:12:18 +0000 Adira 1199126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@purrpletulips: I think this is a possibility. The apartments are right next to each other, so it would be easy to go from one to the other to pump, assuming everyone's okay with me doing that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish/page/2#post-1199119 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 10:10:51 +0000 purrpletulips 1199119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would go without Xander. If the friends all live close by could you possibly pump at one of their apartments? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish/page/2#post-1199110 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 10:08:35 +0000 Adira 1199110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: To be honest, I don't think my husband wants to bring Xander with us. He feels like it's too much work/stressful and I guess wouldn't have as much fun if we had to worry about Xander as well... :(</p> <p>@blackbird: haha, I was actually thinking that option (letting Hubs go without me) but I think he wants me there! Which is sweet I guess.</p> <p>@Anagram: I commend you for being an EPer!!! I don't think i could do it! I went to a bachelorette party when Xander was 4 months and I ended up pumping in the bathroom (all the ladies knew what I was doing) and then pumping in my car right outside the entrance to a bar!!! It was a PITA and a little embarrassing, but I did it, so I know I could do it again! It's just deciding whether it's worth it or not! It was worth it to go to this bachelorette party since it was a once-in-a-lifetime event (hopefully), but I wonder if it's worth it to go to this game-day thing which we could always just wait a few more months and do once I'm no longer BFing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish#post-1199106 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 10:06:29 +0000 Happygal 1199106@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would go sans baby. I don't think you're beings selfish by not wanting to deal with the hassle, but it does sound like you'll have fun and that it's worth it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish#post-1199093 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 10:01:28 +0000 Anagram 1199093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: Oh, and my DH is hosting a poker night at our house this Saturday (sure to be going late into the night) and we live in a smallish condo. So I will be pumping in the bathroom after LO is asleep again! lol And they will ALL KNOW what I'm doing, too. oh well? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish#post-1199088 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 09:59:47 +0000 Anagram 1199088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I'm an exclusive pumper so I feel your pain. But if it's important to your husband and it seems like fun AND you have babysitter--I would do it and probably pump in the bathroom.</p> <p>But I have also pumped in my own bathroom at home when we have visitors if LO is asleep in her crib (in our room) because the pump noise wakes her up. I definitely don't LIKE pumping in the bathroom (um, no comfortable place to sit!), but I did it every night for 5 nights when my brother was visiting because I felt weird pumping my boobs sitting next to my brother on the couch.</p> <p>I also pump in my car somewhat regularly when I have errands to run and they extend over 3 hours. That's the biggest PITA because I worry people can see me when I'm taking my bra/top on and off, and I tend to get milk dribbles everywhere, but I still do it... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish#post-1199021 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 09:35:46 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 1199021@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would go too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish#post-1199012 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 09:33:08 +0000 blackbird 1199012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would go! </p> <p>Or, just let hubs go without me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish#post-1199009 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 09:32:58 +0000 tinyperson 1199009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would take him and enjoy myself while I could. Would he sleep in a pnp or on a makeshift floor bed? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish#post-1198978 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 09:19:20 +0000 autumnlove 1198978@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would go too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish#post-1198945 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 09:06:58 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1198945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just curious? Why can't you take him? </p> <p>I mean, I know its more work but you can still have fun. You can watch a movie and he could play on the floor. You could play a board game while nursing him witha cover if needed. Take a PNP and put him to bed and still get a few hours of "adult time" to enjoy. I would think your brother would understand and want to also see his nephew. </p> <p>I WOHM too and my weekends with her are very valued. If people don't want to see her too, then we don't go at all. She is now 2 and still a handful when we go out. If we didn't go places or had to find a sitter everytime we wanted to go hang out with friends then we would never have a life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish#post-1198917 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 08:49:27 +0000 Cherrybee 1198917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: Why don't you work up to it? You have the whole of November - maybe try leaving him for an hour one week, then an afternoon the following week etc etc. Then you;ll know if he absolutely can't handle it before you travel an hour away! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish#post-1198912 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 08:47:31 +0000 irene 1198912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't read the comments but right after I read half of your post I am screaming, of course go!!! </p> <p>Even if you go with the baby and didn't get to do a lot of things you used to do, and didn't get to stay up and watch movies, it is still something. You still get to see them and have fun. If you need to breastfeed, then just breastfeed when you need to. I would breastfeed in front of everybody (I wouldn't even use a cover to be honest, I had no shame back in the days lol). I am serious. I'd ask in advance and say, I would be breastfeeding my child while we are all together playing board games and want to make sure if it is OK. If someone is offended in the room then we may not be able to come. </p> <p>If you really want to stay up, would you be able to put Xander to bed in your brother's room, and continue with the festivities quietly in the living room, and scoop him up when its time to go?</p> <p>I remember there was a time I had to go to the ER and stayed over night in the hospital. We had no back up childcare. Husband scooped LO up (he was 3+ months back then and was already in bed at 7pm) and we headed to the ER and ended up LO didn't get to go back home until 2am, but he passed out around 11pm? He did just fine. They'll live. We have to remember they are not endangered animals. :)</p> <p>Regardless, I don't think you are selfish at all. It is just one night. Xander would do great! And you guys will have a lot of fun! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish#post-1198892 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 08:36:05 +0000 Smurfette 1198892@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I think she hadn't seen them in 3 or 4 weeks this time. She doesn't seem to remember them. I think that it helped that they came over and hung out for a while before they took her home with them. Do you think he is nervous cause you are there? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish#post-1198889 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 08:33:48 +0000 Adira 1198889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: Does R see your parents more often than Xander sees mine? The last few times we've seen my parents, he's been REALLY nervous around my mom and it's taken him HOURS to warm up to her, and it's only just barely. So I'm nervous about what will happen if we just show up in the morning and then leave him there. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish#post-1198888 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 08:32:36 +0000 Smurfette 1198888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: He will be fine! I was worried about R last weekend too. My Mom said she freaked a little when she didn't recognize the house and was looking for us. They took her outside and she calmed down and was fine. Even waking up and spending Sunday morning with them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish#post-1198886 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 08:31:18 +0000 Adira 1198886@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: haha, thanks for the offer! But I think I'll probably be fine making due with A&amp;A blankets or going to the other apartment. Thanks though! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish#post-1198882 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 08:29:00 +0000 Smurfette 1198882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: Well you can mail it back to me when you are done! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish#post-1198878 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 08:27:39 +0000 Adira 1198878@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@butterbean: Oh, that's a good idea!! I probably could pump in the other apartment if I didn't feel comfortable doing it right in front of them! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish#post-1198875 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 08:26:52 +0000 Adira 1198875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: haha, that's what I usually do! I stay in my pjs all day and hang out at home! So I guess it WOULD be good to actually go out and do something every once in a while... and maybe it would be good for Xander to have some quality grandparent-time!</p> <p>I'm a little nervous about separation anxiety though - he only sees my parents maybe once a month - will he totally freak out if we try to live him with her for a day? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-selfish#post-1198874 Wed, 06 Nov 2013 08:25:31 +0000 butterbean 1198874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: i would give it a shot and go...since you are friends with the neighbors too, could you pump in one of their places (assuming their place is empty since they would be at your brother's place)? or if you want to bring Xander with you, maybe ask if you can set up shop in one of their places - bring your pack and play and video monitor? </p>