https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 26 May 2026 03:00:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-too-inconsistent#post-2270199 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 22:47:14 +0000 dolphin 2270199@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our pediatrician told us it doesn't matter what method we choose (time-out, ignore, soothe, etc) as long as we are consistent. Also, choose your battles. I give in when it's something small because it ain't worth the tears. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-too-inconsistent#post-2270055 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 18:12:01 +0000 rosegold 2270055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@illumina: agreed 100% </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-too-inconsistent#post-2269789 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 12:57:20 +0000 illumina 2269789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rosegold: This is what Dh's argument was, he said it doesn't really matter how we deal with it so long as we never give in! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-too-inconsistent#post-2269733 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 12:14:43 +0000 rosegold 2269733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@illumina: having two tactics is great! you ARE being consistent by not giving in and offering some kind of bandaid to quiet her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-too-inconsistent#post-2269723 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 12:09:40 +0000 MamaCate 2269723@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@illumina: you are welcome! I think tough is good (lovingly tough of course) especially during these limit testing ages! Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-too-inconsistent#post-2269665 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 11:27:52 +0000 illumina 2269665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: @Mrs Green Grass: @MamaCate: @Mrs.KMM: @.twist.: thanks all! I was worried that by going straight to #2 that I was being too tough on her :( sounds like this is not the case. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-too-inconsistent#post-2269622 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 11:06:56 +0000 .twist. 2269622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaCate: I definitely do it this way and find it's pretty effective. Obviously both L and I still have our bad days/moments, but I like the "action now" "talk about it once we're calm" method. :) </p> <p>Good luck, @illumina: ! Also, they're in a wonderful age of pushing any kind of boundary they can, don't be too hard on yourself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-too-inconsistent#post-2269619 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 11:03:44 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2269619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with the PPs who recommended starting with phase 2 all the time so you aren't rewarding poor behavior with attention. And then once she's calmed down, use phase 1 to try to teach more appropriate ways for her to behave in the situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-too-inconsistent#post-2269550 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 10:23:49 +0000 MamaCate 2269550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@illumina: I agree that consistency is key but I understand your feelings of being short/frustrated with LO. I wonder what would happen if you switched things and did #2 first for all tantrums--walking away and not giving attention to the negative behavior. Then when LO was calm, do #1 as a "time in" to re engage with her and help her understand the problem? Might be more effective? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-too-inconsistent#post-2269495 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 09:45:04 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 2269495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe phase 2 actually works better? I try to ignore all tantrums (I offer hugs and distract) and I repeat lots of "use your words" and "I can't understand when you whine, can you ask nicely?" Ours are really ramping up at closer to age 3...</p> <p>Not sure if I answered your question! But the situation is hard and it sounds like you are doing good things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-too-inconsistent#post-2269313 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 07:16:38 +0000 regberadaisy 2269313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think consistency is definitely key, especially when they're that age. But it's also human to sometimes be a little short. ;) Also, it's important that you and DH are also on the same page with discipline. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-too-inconsistent#post-2269308 Fri, 21 Aug 2015 07:11:33 +0000 illumina 2269308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO is 23 months old and already a very spirited and independent little lady. I'm a SAHM and the daily tantrums about every single thing are starting to wear me down. I'm wondering if part of the reason things are not getting better is because I'm being inconsistent in how I'm dealing with her. I understand the tantrums are out of frustration at either not being able to do something or, more often these days, not getting her way/doing something she doesn't particularly want to do. </p> <p>About 50% of the time, when I'm in a good mood and when we've got time, I'll try and talk to her about why we can't do something right now or why something is the way it is and offer a cuddle and tell her I prefer her to talk rather than whine/scream at me. Then this either calms her down, or I can distract her with something else OR if that doesn't end the tantrum, we move to phase 2 which is me saying "It's not nice to scream at Mummy, I'm going to leave the room/walk away now until you're calm".</p> <p>The other 50% of the time if we're in a rush or I'm having a shitty day I'll go straight to phase 2. More often than not this works instantly, she's silent and stays wherever she was until I come and get her.</p> <p>So yeah...sorry that was so long. Just wondered what people's views are on what I should do! I'n getting to the end of my tether this week :( </p>