https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 13:40:25 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2796425 Thu, 11 Jan 2018 16:33:53 +0000 Eminthevalley 2796425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: right, I should have added that he did say also, let them fuss for up to 20 minutes only. Using common sense and critical thinking help. Mine cried about 12 minutes each before sleeping soundly for 6 hours. Sounds like yours is different. I think “no harm in trying “ with a dose of common sense is true. Like, try, but if your kid vomits then obviously not ready. I didn’t interpret “trying” to be letting them cry for hours on end.<br /> And honestly, when you have infant twins, somebody.is.always.crying! If not a baby, possibly one of the parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2796182 Wed, 10 Jan 2018 20:15:11 +0000 Mamag511 2796182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: I hear you, I feel like I’m losing my mind as well! We did decide to start and are on night 2. Glad to hear it worked for you - success stories give me hope! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2796145 Wed, 10 Jan 2018 16:33:27 +0000 ShootingStar 2796145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sleep trained DS at 7m and DD at 4m. With DS he was waking up every couple of hours and wanted to be fed back to sleep. I could handle that even though I was sleep deprived. Then he just decided to sleep for 20 minutes at a time and was crying no matter what we did so I let him cry it out. With DD she started waking up every time she lost the pacifier and I couldn't get any sleep. I was literally losing my mind from sleep deprivation. </p> <p>She had been a great sleeper before the 4m regression so I decided to let her cry it out. Almost immediately she started sleeping better. No regrets here.</p> <p>Both my kids are champion sleeper at 4 and 1.5. They sleep consistently through the night until about 7-8 depending on which kid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2796012 Wed, 10 Jan 2018 07:46:11 +0000 Mamag511 2796012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pajamas: Thanks! I’m glad it worked out for you even through the regressions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2796004 Wed, 10 Jan 2018 01:44:55 +0000 Mrs. Pajamas 2796004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamag511: do what you feel is right for your baby. I sleep trained dd2 at 8 weeks. She has been through 2 regressions since then but we got through it fine. She's now a little over 6 months. Gaining weight and happy. And I'm sooo much happier! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795971 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 20:03:45 +0000 Mamag511 2795971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone! I know it can be a heated topic, and just finding what works best for your family can be so hard. I do appreciate everyone taking the time to respond. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795968 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 19:40:26 +0000 SweetiePie 2795968@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jape14: agree with you, and I don’t have a PhD in anything :silly: but my thought is that a pediatrician literally has nothing to gain by giving the go ahead to sleep train. For example, they aren’t a consultant collecting a fee. So why would they ever say it was fine to do if it wasn’t? I trust my pediatrician wholeheartedly. </p> <p>I also have a friend who has a masters in early childhood development and she has literally studied sleep training and the pros and cons of t weighed against the importance of sleep in a child and she actually became a sleep trainer/consultant because of it. </p> <p>And lastly, it is well documented how important sleep is for kids. I don’t see how teaching them to sleep and be well-rested could possibly be a bad thing. ESPECIALLY if it’s impacting the parents’ health and well being. Parents are often discounted or fully omitted from the equation and it’s a shame. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795961 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 19:20:56 +0000 Mamag511 2795961@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jape14: Thanks for sharing. I will definitely read into it more. I will be bringing it up with my pediatrician next week to see what they say as well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795952 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 18:29:01 +0000 jape14 2795952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamag511: here’s a great link about the so-called harms (aka the flawed “cortisol study” that was making the rounds): <a href="https://childrensmd.org/browse-by-age-group/newborn-infants/stress-cortisol-and-getting-your-baby-to-sleep/" rel="nofollow">https://childrensmd.org/browse-by-age-group/newborn-infants/stress-cortisol-and-getting-your-baby-to-sleep/</a></p> <p>This particular doctor recommends waiting until 6 months for most babies, but my pediatrician and many others are fine with 4 months if you use an age-appropriate method (e.g., Ferber), your child is gaining weight and eating appropriately during the day, and so forth. </p> <p>(Disclaimer: I have a PhD in psychology and study self-regulation in children/adolescents so I am super sensitive to that cortisol study being misrepresented!)</p> <p>(edit: sorry to belabor the point but seriously, that cortisol study was super flawed: <a href="https://www.google.com/amp/s/expectingscience.com/2016/04/21/the-middlemiss-study-tells-us-nothing-about-sleep-training-cry-it-out-or-infant-stress/amp/)" rel="nofollow">https://www.google.com/amp/s/expectingscience.com/2016/04/21/the-middlemiss-study-tells-us-nothing-about-sleep-training-cry-it-out-or-infant-stress/amp/)</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795945 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 17:56:04 +0000 DesertDreams88 2795945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Eminthevalley: "no harm in trying" ? ..... um, I think there is concern that sleep training **can** be harmful, since you're training them that when they cry (with possibly legitimate needs) that no one is going to come help them. I know for me, my son gets so stressed he vomits, and sometimes within just the first 5 minutes. It's happened over 20 times in 23 months. </p> <p>On the other hand, sleep deprivation is obviously harmful for parents, too, and twins are a whole 'nother ball game! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795931 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 17:09:43 +0000 Eminthevalley 2795931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not at all; I sleep trained my twins at 3 months! They are now nearly 5 and continue to be pretty great sleepers. We tried a "gentle" method first and honestly, it made one of mine more upset so we wound up basically CIO with checks as that was quicker and less agitating. So even though I get the point about choosing a method, for us, the initial method didn't work for one of the kids so out the window it went. Our pediatrician was like, no harm in trying, might not work but who knows? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795926 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 16:39:26 +0000 Mamag511 2795926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: Thanks - this does make me feel better to hear the sleep trainer said that! The guilt is no joke. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795925 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 16:38:39 +0000 Mamag511 2795925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjd: I’m with you. I feel like the 2 correlate as well. My ds cannot fall asleep alone. Hopefully by starting there I can get somewhere! Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795922 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 16:28:45 +0000 Mamag511 2795922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: Thanks for the input. I’m so torn with what to do, so I will def check out the website to see what info I can find!</p> <p>@Corduroy: Thanks for the info! We have problems all over the place, so I think I need to start with separating the bottle and sleeping. Hopefully we can go from there! Glad to hear things got better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795917 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 16:07:30 +0000 erinbaderin 2795917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We consulted with a sleep trainer at 4 months, and she told us it would be totally ok. I ended up waiting a month but that’s just because I wasn’t emotionally ready. I felt like he still needed feedings overnight so we did a dream feed at 10 before I went to bed, and then I fed him at 4 when (if, I guess, but he always did until at least 8 months) he woke up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795911 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 16:02:47 +0000 mrsjd 2795911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly I get the regression thing people are saying but in my opinion, once they sleep train they have the tools to better manage regressions. But in our case my DD has zero ability to self soothe. She had classic sleep association issues. But your case doesn’t sound as extreme as ours. I do agree that getting more food during the day and working to reduce night feedings is important. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795908 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 16:01:45 +0000 Corduroy 2795908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamag511: Also, I had DH do the training. I think it helped not having boobs walk in to taunt/check on the babies. I totally left the house both times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795905 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 15:58:53 +0000 Corduroy 2795905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamag511: We did Ferber at 16 weeks for DD and mabye 18 weeks for DS. LO1 was a motion junkie. It took us an hour of walking to get LO1 down every night then she would wake and it would take us another hour of walking to get her down for the night. It just was not sustainable. She refused to cosleep unless she was latched the entire time. I had a sidecar attached to my bed for 8 months and she never once laid in it without screaming. I didn’t realize it at the time but I was her pacifier but I was (she wouldn’t take one). She cried when we did CIO but less total time than any other night. We kept a MOTN feed after midnight because our issue was bedtime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795848 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 14:40:48 +0000 Mrs. Toad 2795848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sleep trained even earlier, but only to get to bed. My kids don't like to be rocked and couldn't be moved once they fell asleep nursing and I refused to cosleep. Therefore, I did extinction training. Both kids only had 2 wake ups ever, and one was before I went to bed. Both kids dropped night feeds on their own and prior to 3 months old. The one advantage I have had is that neither has had any regressions. They are 3 and 11 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795836 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 14:34:17 +0000 DesertDreams88 2795836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah I wouldn't feel comfortable sleep training a LO at that age.... I'd talk to a pediatrician about it but I still probably wouldn't go through with it. </p> <p>I would, however, try withholding some bottles and/or trying other comfort measures. With our LO, that helped decrease some of his night wakings..... so I would be ok with "night weaning" but not "sleep training" if that makes sense.</p> <p>The website listed above is GREAT. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795832 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 14:30:38 +0000 jape14 2795832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamag511: no problem at all! reflux and sleep issues are such a pain to deal with and I have so been there. fingers crossed you get to a solution that works for you soon. I also agree with @starchild: that the precious little sleep website is really great. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795820 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 14:02:57 +0000 Mamag511 2795820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: I appreciate all sides of this! Yes, my ds will be 4 months on Saturday (so we are pretty close)! I do worry about hitting a regression as well and having to totally restart. I keep trying to balance that fear with my current state of not sleeping. It’s so hard to figure out! Good point about the ped as well...we have his 4mo check next week so I’ll be sure to bring it up! Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795798 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 12:59:13 +0000 LindsayInNY 2795798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm on the other side of things and don't think you should sleep train until at least 6 months. You say almost 4 months so I'm assuming LO is younger than that? So the regression may still be on the horizon and undo everything you do. If you really want, I would only do it with pediatrician's advice first. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795759 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 11:41:21 +0000 Mamag511 2795759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: If you don’t mind me asking, what ended up working for you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795753 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 11:03:59 +0000 Mamag511 2795753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: Congrats on the new lo in March!! I will check out that resource as well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795752 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 11:03:23 +0000 Mamag511 2795752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: @starchild: Thanks! I already feel less crazy for wanting to do it from wveryone’s responses! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795751 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 11:02:37 +0000 Mamag511 2795751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jape14: This is amazing. Like I cried as I read your response because it is giving me hope. Thank you so much for taking the time to write it all out. I think we are going to start tonight, so hopefully we will see some progress soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795750 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 11:01:42 +0000 Mamag511 2795750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Goose: Thanks for responding! Glad to hear it worked for you at a younger age! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795749 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 11:01:12 +0000 Mamag511 2795749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: I totally agree with you. I know I need to do something to help teach him to self-soothe! Thanks for the input! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-crazy-to-sleep-train#post-2795738 Tue, 09 Jan 2018 10:20:33 +0000 SweetiePie 2795738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamag511: not crazy! Like @lbee: said we sleep trained right at 4.5 months. My ped actually recommended it. Full and fair disclosure, he wasn’t waking that often though. He did for the 4 month regression but before and after the regression it was only 1-2 wakings a night. </p> <p>A great resource for dropping the bottle and extending time between wakings/feedings is the book 12 Hours by 12 Weeks. Don’t worry, I didn’t start reading it till after 12 weeks either. It’s a short read, I think only took me a couple of hours (over a couple of days). But you can also sort of skim it.<br /> The basics are:<br /> - try to delay the time between bottles little by little and never go backward. So if he wakes at the 2 hour mark and you’re able to hold him off for maybe 5 mins at first, do it. But then don’t do any other night feedings at a lesser interval than 2hr5min. Next night you try to do more time between. And so on. You might be able to get a big chunk, but I’m just saying even a few mins is helpful. I actually slept on my son’s floor when we were doing this so as soon as I heard him stir I could pop the paci in before he woke too Much. I did that over and over until it was obvious he was up. Then I recorded that time and didn’t revert back at all the next time.<br /> - slowly decrease amount in bottles. Sounds like he kind of did this himself already? But I would put only like 2oz in the bottle and if he takes it all or just a portion, decrease it a couple of nights later. If he’s not really hungry he won’t notice that there’s less.<br /> - make sure they are getting a minimum of 24oz during daytime hours. For us that was 7am - 7pm. 4 bottles of at least 6oz. Ensuring they get enough during the day means they will need less overnight. </p> <p>Those are the basics I can remember. It’s been 3 years now! But I need to read up because I’m having DS2 in March! 😳 </p>