https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 09 Apr 2026 06:17:08 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-overreactinghow-do-i-get-past-this#post-1796075 Sun, 03 Aug 2014 15:43:33 +0000 hotchildinthecity 1796075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs tartan: oh yeah for sure!! I'm already thinking about next year's trip :grin: </p> <p>@T.H.O.U.: at first i was kinda going wild too but now its so close that i want to get ready! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-overreactinghow-do-i-get-past-this#post-1796064 Sun, 03 Aug 2014 15:35:40 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1796064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hotchildinthecity: I have found that both times we have been expecting, my husband and I have handled it completely differently. I start nesting and saving money and prepping for baby (sounds like you are in this mode too) and he gets in the mode of "let's fit in every last activity we can before the world changes and we can't do it anymore". This time around I've learned to go with the flow and let him take his days for golf and guys trips etc. I've just made comments like get it in now because we won't do this stuff with the baby and he agrees. So maybe there is some light at the end of the tunnel that he does know when the baby gets here (well toddler I guess?) life will change. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-overreactinghow-do-i-get-past-this#post-1796055 Sun, 03 Aug 2014 15:28:52 +0000 Mrs tartan 1796055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you are doing very well at being understanding. I would be so mad! Try and enjoy the peace and next year you go on your girls trip while he stays at home with LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-overreactinghow-do-i-get-past-this#post-1795980 Sun, 03 Aug 2014 12:49:53 +0000 hotchildinthecity 1795980@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: oh i know he's playing the "oh i'm just the dumb husband" card. You know, aw shucks, i just forgot! And yes, i'm extra upset about the added days at his parents. Because then he pulls the, but its my parennnttss...</p> <p>The hardest part is just not continuing to be a whiny biatch about it because its all i feel like doing. We just need to talk and move on. I agree this is part of a larger adjustment with LO on the way. He thinks that we'll just be able to bring him to the things we currently do...not understanding that a toddler wont be up for all that stuff! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-overreactinghow-do-i-get-past-this#post-1795976 Sun, 03 Aug 2014 12:37:59 +0000 wonderstruck 1795976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think you're overreacting, particularly because this is a problem I can see repeating itself once you do have a LO - obviously budget cuts will have to be made, and it's not fair for you to be cancelling your own vacations and picking up all the extra slack at home while he goes on his golf trip anyways! Honestly, if it were me at the very least he wouldn't have been leaving early, and more likely he would have had to cancel altogether. Because I would've had a cow when I found out that he booked the golf trip. I would call bullshit on him thinking it doesn't count - if my girl's weekend counted, why the hell would his golf trip not count?</p> <p>While I sort of see PPs points about how it's done now so better to just let it go, at the same time I can see that turning into him getting to do whatever he wants because it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. So I'm not sure I agree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-overreactinghow-do-i-get-past-this#post-1795975 Sun, 03 Aug 2014 12:37:59 +0000 lamariniere 1795975@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think you are overreacting. I know I would feel the same, or worse! I think you are going to have to make an effort to put it behind you though (easier said than done). And then have a serious talk with DH when he returns about how your soon to be new life will not be as free wheeling as the lifestyle you currently enjoy. It sounds like the two of you have a very healthy relationship though, but maybe new standards and expectations need to be discussed and set. In the meantime, at least treat yourself to an evening out with a friend, a movie or something! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-overreactinghow-do-i-get-past-this#post-1795972 Sun, 03 Aug 2014 12:29:13 +0000 sapphire 1795972@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think you're overreacting. But st this point it has happened, so you'll need to find a way to get past it and not continue to be pissy with him- it won't help things get better!<br /> I'd definitely let my husband know he owes me a little getaway, a trip to the spa, or something along those lines. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-overreactinghow-do-i-get-past-this#post-1795965 Sun, 03 Aug 2014 12:13:03 +0000 kml636 1795965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is so something my DH wd do. Hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-overreactinghow-do-i-get-past-this#post-1795959 Sun, 03 Aug 2014 11:53:48 +0000 mlm2934 1795959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well I definitely think he owes you a girls weekend since that's the equivalent of the trip he took. And I agree with PP that it's probably a blessing in disguise that this came up so you will have the opportunity have a bigger discussion about the changes about to come in your lives and what adjustments may need to be made to the way you handle certain relationship situations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-overreactinghow-do-i-get-past-this#post-1795917 Sun, 03 Aug 2014 11:06:33 +0000 Little Misters Mom 1795917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hotchildinthecity: I think I'm pretty easy going, and my husband sometimes takes the "easier to ask forgiveness than permission" route on the few things he knows might annoy me. So I totally get the resentment of feeling taken advantage of and wanting to somehow even the score. But ultimately, the only thing that makes me feel better is time and feeling like he has heard and understands why I am upset. Maybe write out the angry email and stew in it for a little while. But my guess is you'll feel a lot less angry once he is home. While he's gone it's still a continuing insult, so it's hard to move past it. </p> <p>For the record, you sound like an awesome wife, and are totally entitled to be pissed! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-overreactinghow-do-i-get-past-this#post-1795913 Sun, 03 Aug 2014 10:55:16 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1795913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband has a non-negotiable boys trip every year. This year it landed on our fifth anniversary. He went anyway. I was bummed, but he is so appreciative that it's hard to be mad about it.</p> <p>I agree that what's done is done, but it's still kind of sucky that it went down this way. In the immortal words of Elsa from Frozen, I'd "let it go" and start fresh when he gets back... And maybe remind him that he owes you a bit for being such an awesomely cool wife ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-overreactinghow-do-i-get-past-this#post-1795903 Sun, 03 Aug 2014 10:44:19 +0000 katsupgirl 1795903@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's good that the issue has come up now and you need to take this as an opportunity to discuss expectations. If he's the sensitive sort he might be more receptive now because he knows this was terribly inconvenient because you didn't feel well. </p> <p>These issues are going to get compounded once you have your LO so it's best to set the ground rules now before all the resentment sets in. </p> <p>I pretty much agree with PP about having him make it right when he gets back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-overreactinghow-do-i-get-past-this#post-1795874 Sun, 03 Aug 2014 09:58:34 +0000 hotchildinthecity 1795874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: Thanks! Already writing it down here has helped :) I just feel like he's taken advantage of my anything-goes nature and been very selfish. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-overreactinghow-do-i-get-past-this#post-1795872 Sun, 03 Aug 2014 09:56:08 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1795872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's great that you realize somehow you have to get past this. Because it is done, he can't come back now. </p> <p>I love the idea of just finding something to make you feel "even" and then try to put it out of your head. </p> <p>Even sometimes writing out all your feelings and throwing it away or burning it can bring some closure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-overreactinghow-do-i-get-past-this#post-1795870 Sun, 03 Aug 2014 09:53:17 +0000 hotchildinthecity 1795870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Applesandbananas: That's a great idea! Once I'm fully adjusted to the medicine, a night out will be much-needed!</p> <p>@MrsH: Thanks! I know feeling sick is just making me 10 times as miserable, especially because I hate being cooped up.</p> <p>@Greentea: Agree! My husband seems to be having difficulty adjusting to the fact that our lives are changing. With our son on the way, he seems to think that things are going to stay pretty much status quo. And we've always had issues with him thinking things are okay for him but not for me. We definitely need to talk it through. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-overreactinghow-do-i-get-past-this#post-1795867 Sun, 03 Aug 2014 09:42:26 +0000 Greentea 1795867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like you two need to communicate more about things. I totally get wanting to be laid back, I am myself- but you have needs and there really isn't anything wrong with that- likely just a matter of communicating them. This is probably a period of transition for you two and things are changing- so "doing whatever you want" might need to be reformed through talk and compromise. Okay, I am sounding annoying, but all this to say that sucks and I'm sorry and as you probably already know you'll have to talk about it and refine expectations! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-overreactinghow-do-i-get-past-this#post-1795862 Sun, 03 Aug 2014 09:35:18 +0000 MrsH 1795862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can understand how you'd be annoyed and it stinks that you aren't feeling well on top of it (which probably compounds how you are feeling). I'd talk to him about the fact that you think he should have canceled the golf trip or that you are disturbed that you guys didn't have clear expectations/communications on the issue. Other than that you'll probably just have to let it go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-overreactinghow-do-i-get-past-this#post-1795851 Sun, 03 Aug 2014 09:24:35 +0000 Applesandbananas 1795851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes. I'd be pissed! I don't think you're overreacting!</p> <p>If i were in your shoes, I'd ask DH to make it right when he got home, whatever that looks like for you guys. Maybe it's picking up an extra shift to defray the cost of the trip, maybe it's finding money in the budget for you to go out with your friends, maybe it's doing some extra chores, but I'd challenge DH to make it right. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-overreactinghow-do-i-get-past-this#post-1795835 Sun, 03 Aug 2014 09:02:40 +0000 hotchildinthecity 1795835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know! One of these questions, right? ;) I'm typically a very easygoing wife. My husband and I go out to bars without each other, we go on vacations with friends, there's nothing really "off limits." Basically we both do whatever we want, which is great for our relationship.</p> <p>We typically vacation several times a year because we love to travel. One of those trips is I go away with my girlfriends for a few days, and he goes on a golf trip upstate. The golf trip includes drinking, gambling, and of course, conveniently, no cell phone service.</p> <p>This year, we're overwhelmed by the costs of the adoption, as well as the fact that we're moving in two weeks. We "cancelled" all the trips we usually do, and I told my girlfriends I couldn't join on our typical girls' long weekend. </p> <p>A couple months ago, I found out that my husband went ahead and booked his golf trip anyway. He "thought" we weren't counting it as part of the things we were canceling. The golf trip is Wednesday to Sunday. He decided to leave early and visit with his parents Sunday - Wednesday. So he's been gone since last Sunday.</p> <p>To compound things, I'm back on Metformin, so I was reluctant to make plans with friends, being unsure of how my stomach would feel. So basically, it's been wake up -- work - endure stomach cramps - bed. And I've been stuck with all the chores we usually split up, which has been more overwhelming than I expected.</p> <p>I am angry and miserable. When he sends me cute messages and wants to chat, I am in no freakin' mood. He knows exactly how I feel about this trip, but he figures what's done is done and whatever, better luck next year. But I just CANNOT seem to get past this. </p>