https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 08 Apr 2026 16:47:34 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-if-i-mind-not-be-acknowledged#post-2356496 Sat, 14 Nov 2015 16:02:19 +0000 Mrs. D 2356496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Amelieisme: thats just like us! My husband doesn't get how close my 1st cousins and I have been all our lives, so he doesn't get why we get together as a whole family on holidays. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-if-i-mind-not-be-acknowledged#post-2356379 Sat, 14 Nov 2015 11:45:39 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2356379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think we usually tend to be more forgiving of our own siblings because we're so used to them. I see that a lot with my husband and myself. There's nothing you can do to make him the type of uncle who wants to be super involved with your family. I think he's missing out because I love being an involved aunt- but everyone is different. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-if-i-mind-not-be-acknowledged#post-2356362 Sat, 14 Nov 2015 10:49:25 +0000 Amelieisme 2356362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ebay1520: I think different families approach birthdays in different ways. My family makes a big deal about them. They always call and give a gift...to the point I wish it would stop! I have 4 siblings and we get each other gifts for b-days as well as all the nieces/nephews. It gets exhausting/expensive, but that's the culture. My husbands family does none of this and his brother/sister don't necessarily call to say happy bday. I'm okay with it because that's the protocol in their family.i thought it was weird at first but have gotten used to it and wish my family would follow suit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-if-i-mind-not-be-acknowledged#post-2356267 Sat, 14 Nov 2015 04:37:31 +0000 ebay1520 2356267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for your replies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-if-i-mind-not-be-acknowledged#post-2353876 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 11:38:01 +0000 Ash 2353876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: same here. And nobody calls my kids either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-if-i-mind-not-be-acknowledged#post-2353815 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 11:10:46 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2353815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have eight SILs, one BIL, and their spouses....they have never called for my kids birthdays. I think you're allowed to be bummed, but your expectations are higher than anything I've experienced. Our family is pretty close too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-if-i-mind-not-be-acknowledged#post-2353774 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 10:57:54 +0000 blackbird 2353774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't call my niece or nephew on their birthday. I never considered that it'd be an issue for my SIL to get upset over. And I see them often, otherwise... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-if-i-mind-not-be-acknowledged#post-2353724 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 10:37:51 +0000 snowjewelz 2353724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you're not being childish; he is family and you expect more, or you at least expect/want to be treated the way you treat him. But what can one do if the other party doesn't want to put in the effort? It sucks that your daughter won't really get to know her uncle, and I also wouldn't want you to stop being you (meaning being nice), but I'd just leave expectations at the door and don't go the extra mile for him if you think it will be reciprocated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-if-i-mind-not-be-acknowledged#post-2353384 Thu, 12 Nov 2015 06:12:32 +0000 Andrea 2353384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You have a right to your feelings, but I'll just let you know that my BIL has never called on either of my kids' bdays. Him and my SIL have kids of their own and have never tried to be involved in our lives so I have long since let it go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-if-i-mind-not-be-acknowledged#post-2353212 Wed, 11 Nov 2015 21:21:04 +0000 gracecat 2353212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmmmm, I think it is totally justified for you to react the way you did. However I think as parents we consider our kids' birthdays as being so much more important of an event than others might. It's not very nice and he doesn't sound very mature, but I wouldn't be surprised if down the line my brother didn't remember to call or wish one of my kids a happy birthday. He is super busy and has two kids of his own! On my last birthday no one in my family (brother, parents) called me! But I just stopped expecting and feeling disappointed. I feel like it's better to focus on the positive, enjoy the times when we do get together, make the most of those, don't hold on to grudges, and love without expecting in return, as hard as it might be. When you get fed up, give it a rest and ignore him for a while too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-if-i-mind-not-be-acknowledged#post-2353098 Wed, 11 Nov 2015 19:57:17 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2353098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You have a right to your feelings and since you typically remember his bday and his children's I can see why you're hurt it's not reciprocated. However, I don't think it's out of the ordinary for aunts and uncles not to remember their nieces and nephews birthdays. For that matter the same goes with siblings. I definitely don't think ILs would remember bdays, anniversaries without some serious prompting.</p> <p>ETA: now when it comes to spending quality time I don't think you're being childish. If he only calls when he wants something I would stop saying yes and try to build a different relationship where you both get something out of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-if-i-mind-not-be-acknowledged#post-2353090 Wed, 11 Nov 2015 19:46:40 +0000 ebay1520 2353090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi,</p> <p>I am seeking advice from ppl in this forum Am I wrong if I mind not being acknowledged. </p> <p>I'm a married male with 2yr old child, basically the problem is with brother in law. My wife is the only sister he has, this guy would never to get involved with us (or me) as Immediate family member unless he has something to ask from us. We live in a different state , but whenever we are in same town he would not bother to meetup or invite us home.</p> <p>Recently I got very very frustrated when he did not call us or wished us on our daughters 2nd bday. I said to my wife that it's really ridiculous that he would not remember our daughter's bday, to this wife actually started giving excuses saying he might have been busy nd all. But this is not something new, he did not even called on her 1st day and never bother to wish us on our day. On the contrary, we always wish him and try to be upfront as his younger to us.</p> <p>But now I feel it was a waste of time keep expectation to maintain family relationship, his bday was last month and I did not wish him and will try to recuperate same disconnected behavior in future as well . </p> <p>Am I wrong if I mind not being acknowledged?</p> <p>I am being childish here or fair? </p>