https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 16 Jun 2026 14:04:07 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-pretty-sure-i-might-be-oopsie#post-71600 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:10:46 +0000 cupcakemama 71600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Two family events at the same time, you guys just have to decide TOGETHER which to attend. You will always favour your "own" family and events but I guess part of being married is sorting these things out. And sometimes comprimising. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-pretty-sure-i-might-be-oopsie#post-71535 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:24:54 +0000 BabyLove 71535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira- thank you. I hear ya. You're right, it's ok that his brother is more important to him than my grandmother. It's just the way it was all communicated, ya know? </p> <p>@boogs- while at work we were able to 'text talk' it out. The award isn't super important, it's for being a good athlete. But still, it's important to them. Thanks for the suggestion, I'll make him a nice dinner tonight :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-pretty-sure-i-might-be-oopsie#post-71225 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:14:51 +0000 Boogs 71225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm kind of with you. His brother didn't even extend the invite, so I would assume he wouldn't be too heartbroken if his brother wasn't there. Is there a way to find out what the award is for? I think it's important to know whether it's the Nobel peace prize vs. a perfect attendance award, ya know? Can you make a nice dinner for him and sincerely apologize to smooth things over? Then try having a calm discussion about it again? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-pretty-sure-i-might-be-oopsie#post-71195 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 13:59:49 +0000 Adira 71195@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BabyLove: I definitely see where you are coming from. If his brother didn't feel like it was important enough to mention, then it obviously isn't that important to him that your husband be in attendance. That's my take anyway. So the fact that your husband is just automatically planning to go to that without taking your input into consideration kind of sucks. But I do think that his brother is probably more important to him than your grandmother, so I understand why he'd rather go to his brother's thing than yours. If you can't come to a compromise, and your husband doesn't mind missing the baby for three days, then each of you just do your own thing. Hubs and I split up all the time for stuff like that - although it's usually because my hubs doesn't want to attend my family thing, so I'll go without him. If I don't feel like attending HIS family thing though, he just won't go, haha. He's lazy. :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-pretty-sure-i-might-be-oopsie#post-71124 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 13:24:34 +0000 BabyLove 71124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsbells and @crisark- I see your point. I would probably feel bad about missing his brother's event if it was something that was important to him. Like, if I could confirm that the award was meaningful to his brother. I also can't get past the fact that his brother has more support than my grandmother does. I am just being stubborn about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-pretty-sure-i-might-be-oopsie#post-71123 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 13:22:53 +0000 MamaMoose 71123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BabyLove: I'm actually with you on this one. It's a 35 year old guy getting an award for being a good athlete. It's not like he's winning the medal of honor. I do think you should be carefult about communicating in a nice way, but I think you're right. Hubs and I don't split up for events. We work together to try to be fair and to prioritize properly. I'm sure at some point we will be in a situation where there are two exactly equal events at the same time (two weddings in one day, etc) but I don't think this is one of those situations. I would be upset too if I were you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-pretty-sure-i-might-be-oopsie#post-71101 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 13:09:56 +0000 Crisark 71101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have to agree with @Mrsbells: on this one. If you don't feel bad about his brothers thing then you can't really get upset with him for not feeling bad about missing the dinner.<br /> I see both sides and I get it. But, there doesn't seem to be a huge winner on this one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-pretty-sure-i-might-be-oopsie#post-70894 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 11:25:48 +0000 Mrsbells 70894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think since you dont feel bad about not attending his brothers award thingy, you can't hold it against him for not feeling bad about going to your grandma's dinner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-pretty-sure-i-might-be-oopsie#post-70839 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:51:20 +0000 BabyLove 70839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21- at least I'm not the only one to fly off the handle! Haha. Not the best club to be in but, oh well. The events would be at the same time. I wish they weren't in 2 different states, we might have been able to schedule the dinner for earlier in the day, since that's the more flexible event. Ugh </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-pretty-sure-i-might-be-oopsie#post-70838 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:48:50 +0000 tequiero21 70838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i'm always the one that flies off the handle first too. lol. luckily, we've never had to deal with conflicting schedules, but if we did, and my hubby really wanted to go to his bro's thing, i'd say fine, go ahead without me, i'm going to my family's thing.</p> <p>is it at the same time? would be nice if you could go to one first and then the other. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-pretty-sure-i-might-be-oopsie#post-70833 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:39:16 +0000 BabyLove 70833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yea, I'm considering going out separate ways. As much as I'd feel bad about that. I just don't like him being away from her for so long. </p> <p>He's most likely still upset. And really, I am too. He wasn't the most effective communicator either. A sincere apology it tough because I feel hurt still. But, I'm always the one that flies off the handle first and from there it just escalates. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-pretty-sure-i-might-be-oopsie#post-70830 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:31:47 +0000 Rubies 70830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There are times when the hubs and I have conflicting family things and if they can't be resolved then we go our separate ways - he'll attend this family thing and I'll attend my family thing. But that's if and only if other things can't be changed and it's our only option. </p> <p>Is your hubs still upset with you? :( A sincere apology and maybe a good conversation about how to remedy the situation? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-pretty-sure-i-might-be-oopsie#post-70821 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:16:23 +0000 BabyLove 70821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The quick(ish) background- My husband and I live in Connecticut, where his family and friends live. My family lives in New York. We're both very close to our families. However, my family sees us and the baby more often because they make more of an effort to do so.</p> <p>Anyhoo, yesterday I spoke to my mother and she said she wanted to have a nice dinner for my grandmother's 70th birthday. So I said we'd come to NY that weekend. I tell my husband about the plan at which point he tells me that he found out that his brother is getting an award that day so he can't attend. My initial reaction (I know, I'm a jerk) was who the F cares? His brother is 35 and has a wife, 3 kids and parents. What's the problem? Secondly, my husband had no idea what the award was for because it was his mother who mentioned it. So it appears to me that his brother doesn't find it all that important (we later found out that it's from a local black coalition for being an outstanding athlete.. whoopie-freakin'-do). </p> <p>My thinking was just that my grandmother has very little family. Just us really. And she doesn't have much money so a fancy dinner is exciting for her. I don't really love the idea of taking the baby alone. And him not seeing her for 3 days. But should I? Also, I'm most annoyed because it never seemed like a dilemme to my husband. Never once did he feel torn. I get it. Your own family is most important to you. But at least feel bad about snubbing a 70 year old. No? </p> <p>What would you suggest? Also, there's a lil damage control that needs to be done. I was not really the nicest communicator last night. My b. </p>