https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 30 Apr 2026 04:01:53 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-774673 Fri, 10 May 2013 23:16:18 +0000 Grace 774673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's all got to do with balance and using your best judgement. No, I wouldn't give my 5yo a pocket knife to play with, but maybe teaching a small child to use a knife responsibly isn't the worst idea.</p> <p>It does seem to be a bit of a fad to pick on American parenting lately.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-774671 Fri, 10 May 2013 23:09:10 +0000 mamimami 774671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with many of the points she makes. But, living in another culture myself, I realize constantly that every culture has its own "stuff." For every admirable trait, there's a whole galaxy of associated ideas and traits. If that makes any sense. And it's just a little piece of the crazy web of culture. </p> <p>The US emphasis on independence, for example, is a whole package that many other cultures find distasteful. Or now that I live in Mexico, I hear from many non-Mexicans how wonderful it is that Mexicans are so family-oriented. It IS wonderful but sometimes it's more than just living your mama or eating with her every Sunday. There are less-awesome aspects to it as well.</p> <p>So while I think it's great to learn from how other people do things, it's kind of dangerous to idealize them. I don't know if you can just pick and choose elements of different cultures like that because they seem nice to you. Maybe I'm a pessimist! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-774546 Fri, 10 May 2013 21:27:50 +0000 ladyfingers 774546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with a lot of it. I haven't been anywhere else, but it seems like, here, we're all about raising the child per our expectations -- they "should be" doing this, so we need to teach them how. Sleep training, nap training, how to introduce solids, how to structure play. Instead of really giving the child what they need, it's about helping them conform to our life and our ideas of what a baby and child is like. </p> <p>I'm not saying that if you sleep train etc. you're a bad parent! We do it ourselves. It's just interesting and to me, seems to be the main difference in most of her contrasts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-774205 Fri, 10 May 2013 18:35:06 +0000 Anagram 774205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: good point. My husband was raised in a developing country where he had to take a pubic bus packed to the brim with people to school--so packed that he would often just ride on the outside of the bus, holding on.</p> <p>Or he would ride on his dad's ssooter without a helmet. His family had a water well, and his dad would put him on the bucket and reel him down in the well, so he could clean the inside of debris.</p> <p>But....he's more of a cautious-parenting type than I am! I don't think he sees those things as the "right way" to parents. He would never let our soon-to-be LO go to school alone on a city bus, hanging from the side.</p> <p>Interesting... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-774132 Fri, 10 May 2013 17:18:42 +0000 mrs. tictactoe 774132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it is really interesting, but not perfect. For example, it says that Finland's approach to education is best because they let the kids play outside a lot, which I agree is important, but comparing that country to America is like apples and oranges. There is not nearly as much racial and socioeconomic diversity there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-774114 Fri, 10 May 2013 16:59:03 +0000 mrsmate 774114@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Articles that generalize the parenting styles of entire populations like this drive me crazy.</p> <p>Not all Korean kids are good eaters, btw. And there are a lot of things American kids eat that Korean kids wouldn't touch. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-773395 Fri, 10 May 2013 12:16:35 +0000 googly-eyes 773395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I read it yesterday and agree with most of it! The only thing that doesn't work for us is the newborn sleeping with parents (past the first few months although I don't think the article specified) and that's only because we wake C up, she wakes us up, on and on...lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-773387 Fri, 10 May 2013 12:14:18 +0000 Maysprout 773387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure where they got American parents don't do some of this stuff. I do know several young kids that know how to use a pocket knife. The family my husband used to live with taught his kids how to throw knives at 7 or 8, they survived. My not quite 2 year old puts herself up in a tree, granted it's not high but I feel like there's lots of parts of America where this doesn't apply to - maybe it's a city vs country thing. I don't agree with not eating between meals, I'm way too active for that and so is LO, there's been plenty of studies that show smaller, more frequent meals lead to less obesity than more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-773321 Fri, 10 May 2013 11:44:15 +0000 Andrea 773321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: completely agree with you and you have your own case study in the looch household. :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-773278 Fri, 10 May 2013 11:24:31 +0000 hilsy85 773278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: nice!! Lo still has a ways to go I think (only 6.5 months) but I love the idea. I"m sure I"ll get pushback from our families though... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-773275 Fri, 10 May 2013 11:23:25 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 773275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: We already have 13 month old M working with her own cup and plate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-773274 Fri, 10 May 2013 11:23:23 +0000 chopsuey 773274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep. Trying to parent the way I was raised!<br /> My parents made us eat what they ate. Co-slept and if we cried, they went to get us.<br /> They also made us sleep and nap in bright rooms. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-773270 Fri, 10 May 2013 11:22:39 +0000 hilsy85 773270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: yes, I remember reading about that in an education class I took in college. I love that idea. I plan to get LO his own set of real stuff when he starts using utensils, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-773269 Fri, 10 May 2013 11:22:37 +0000 .twist. 773269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: I agree. </p> <p>I love a lot of what had to be said and I have been friends with (through online gaming) a lot of Finnish people. Their school system FAR surpasses ours and I really wish we could take a page out of their book. Actually, the Finnish culture in general far surpasses a lot of North American culture. </p> <p>I for one am completely guilty of trying to protect my step kids from harm. I know for a fact they need to explore and hurt themselves and climb and jump and fall and skin knees. I just have the hardest time allowing it because I want to protect them.... It's something I really need to work on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-773268 Fri, 10 May 2013 11:22:01 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 773268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: At montessori they use real glasses, forks, knives and plates too :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-773266 Fri, 10 May 2013 11:18:57 +0000 lovehoneybee 773266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure I agree with everything she said but I definitely found myself nodding along with most of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-773262 Fri, 10 May 2013 11:17:21 +0000 runsyellowlites 773262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: I'll admit we've been trying to break this with G so much! When I worked at the hospital I got home after his bedtime (I was a HUGE stickler about schedules) so often times my mom would just make him something quick &amp; easy (nuggets, hotdog, corn dog, etc). Now, it's so hard to get him to eat ANYTHING! He's gone to bed hungry on more than one occasion at this point b/c he just refuses to eat what is made. =( He likes veggies &amp; salad, but is just limited in what he'll try for an entree. =/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-773255 Fri, 10 May 2013 11:14:16 +0000 littlebug 773255@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I read that yesterday, too, and I agree with a lot of it. Definitely hope to carry some of that through in raising D, especially with food (kids' menus are ridiculous) and not "bubble-wrapping" (as @Hilsy85 so brilliantly put it!) his world. Kids need to learn that possessions are to be taken care of, and if you break it, you a) clean it up and b) deal with the loss of that item! I'm not going to let him throw a plate, clean it up for him, then give him another one. He throws it in a fit, he helps me clean it, and then he's done eating. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-773245 Fri, 10 May 2013 11:07:08 +0000 Boheme 773245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: Amen! I read somewhere that the average kids meal has something like 1400 calories. Its ridiculous. DH and I have a chicken nugget epidemic among some of our friends, i.e., we can't go eat with them anywhere unless the place serves a kids meal that consists of chicken nuggets and fries, because they say that's all their kids will eat. Makes me crazy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-773236 Fri, 10 May 2013 11:03:43 +0000 hilsy85 773236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with a lot of it especially the risk and danger stuff. I studied abroad in Denmark and worked in a children's preschool, and they let the kids use real silverware, real (china) plates and cups. Nothing got broken most of the time, and if it did, the kids helped sweep up the pieces. They played on huge playground equipment and the teachers stood on the side--they didn't hover. They also went outside every single day--in Denmark, that could mean blizzard conditions and freezing! I personally think that giving kids "grown up tools" like real knives, fragile plates, etc helps teach them responsibilty and real con sequences (we throw plates, and they break). I'm not saying I'll give LO grandma's china to eat off of, but I don't plan on bubble wrapping his surroundings for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-773223 Fri, 10 May 2013 11:00:37 +0000 spaniellove 773223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I'm also not too sure about her observations on Korean culture. Korean toddlers may sit down to the tables with crazy banchan but it doesn't mean they eat everything. And there is plenty of snacking in Korea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-773200 Fri, 10 May 2013 10:53:45 +0000 yoursilverlining 773200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely agree with having kids eat what adults eat. I hate seeing "kids menus" that are nothing but fried foods, fats and carbs. Kids can like veggies, especially if they just eat them because that's what everyone is eating and a big fanfare isn't made about them.</p> <p>I also think Americans tend to overstructure children's days. Even babies can play alone and entertain themselves; we don't have to stimulate them 24/7 and have so many structured "play dates. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-773117 Fri, 10 May 2013 10:29:00 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 773117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This was all over my FB feed this week. I agree with a lot of it, and it's always interesting contrasting U.S. vs. other countries' child-rearing choices. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-773025 Fri, 10 May 2013 09:58:15 +0000 ShootingStar 773025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure how I feel about all of it, but we definitely won't be feeding our kids non-stop all day. I kind of don't get the trend for kids to be grazing on things like cheerios all day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-773024 Fri, 10 May 2013 09:58:04 +0000 mrsjazz 773024@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I read this yesterday and sent it to my husband. There are some things I agree with and some things I don't. (Um, I'm not giving my 5-year-old a knife.) This reminds me of how I felt when I watched the documentary, "Babies," I think we could all benefit from seeing how other cultures raise their children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-773006 Fri, 10 May 2013 09:50:00 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 773006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interesting perspective. I love broadening my horizons! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-772998 Fri, 10 May 2013 09:46:47 +0000 looch 772998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, I think there are plusses and minuses to all parenting styles. I mean, look, my husband is European and he has his faults just as I do. We raised on two different continents and at the end of the day, we ended up in the same place, both literally in terms of location and employment and figuratively in terms of our values. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-772987 Fri, 10 May 2013 09:43:10 +0000 rawrasaur 772987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I read this yesterday. I think it has some valid points. I don't think there is one right way to do something, but I think it is important to recognize when your choices are holding your LO back and make sure you give them.the opportunites to take risks and figure out their own problems. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-772968 Fri, 10 May 2013 09:31:25 +0000 runsyellowlites 772968@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ding ding ding</p> <p>I totally wholeheartedly agree! I think when you look at American adults compared to adults from other cultures it's clear we're doing some things not totally "right" in the process of getting there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/american-parents-are-backwards#post-772967 Fri, 10 May 2013 09:31:18 +0000 skibobrown 772967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There are some interesting points in here, although I'm not comfortable with all of them. I just can't imagine handing a pocket knife over to my 5-year old, but we'll see... </p>