https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 28 May 2026 01:16:09 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-942716 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 15:37:36 +0000 looch 942716@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@brownie: I agree with everything you wrote. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-942677 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 15:22:46 +0000 honeybear 942677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: "But, even as I stand by that, I do wish times were different and I could afford at least two little monkeys." </p> <p>Me too, sister. Me too. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-942672 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 15:22:05 +0000 brownie 942672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: I don't know that I think that having a family should be subsidized BUT I do think that education should be. Our society has changed, we aren't farmers we don't need summer off so our kids can pull in the harvest but the school system hasn't changed with it. It is known that many kids now aren't going home to parent but to some sort of child care. So why isn't school longer allowing us to return some of the things that we aren't doing because of various laws (NCLB) that have come about. School from 8 -5 makes sense because we can return recess and we reduce some of the hassle for working parents. </p> <p>A kindergartener now needs to know all of the letters in the alphabet (by sight) and numbers to 20 in the first 3 weeks of kindergarten. If that is what is required than they need to have school before kindergarten. This isn't childcare, this is education. We also pay our teacher a terrible wage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-942644 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 15:15:46 +0000 lizzywiz 942644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@honeybear: Great info!<br /> I agree with you regarding the government paying for daycare,etc. Like I said, I am pretty liberal/socialistic, but I don't think that having a family is something that should be subsidized.</p> <p>But, even as I stand by that, I do wish times were different and I could afford at least two little monkeys. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-942615 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 15:07:57 +0000 honeybear 942615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: I don't disagree with you on the point about wages. Here's something I found (I'm assuming this reporter has his stats right...no time to check BLS now!): </p> <p>"The good news in all this: wages overall are up since the recession’s start. The bad news: They’re down from the end of 2008, broadly flat over the past decade, and on an inflation-adjusted basis, wages peaked in 1973, fully 40 years ago. Apart from brief lapses, like in the late 1990s, wages have been falling for a generation."</p> <p>Here: <a href="http://blogs.wsj.com/moneybeat/2013/04/16/the-best-indicator-of-u-s-health-is-wage-growth-or-lack-thereof/" rel="nofollow">http://blogs.wsj.com/moneybeat/2013/04/16/the-best-indicator-of-u-s-health-is-wage-growth-or-lack-thereof/</a></p> <p>But I don't think adding government services fixes that problem. Maybe we'll add some preschool jobs and some spots for lawyerly types in D.C. if the President's proposal becomes law (there will need to at least be a new wing of HHS for this, if not a new agency...), but that will all come with a massive tax increase. It has to--we're running a deficit as it is. If you get government-run daycare, but have your take-home pay decimated by taxes, are you better off? Would you prefer to have to scrimp to shell out for daycare for 5 years or pay higher taxes for your entire working life? (Rhetorical questions, but important ones. ;) ) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-942545 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 14:47:43 +0000 lizzywiz 942545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: @mrbee: @honeybear: Not necessarily minimum wage, but I do think it is a reflection of a significant decrease in overall wages in the last 40 years. My FIL talked about being in the middle of his career 25 years ago (education) and he was going to quit if he didn't get at least a 14% raise. I have been in the workforce, in career type jobs that require at least a BA, for almost 15 years and never has that kind of raise been on the table. I think 8 years ago I might have gotten a 5% raise after 4 years with a company, but since then it has been 1%-2% or nothing. That doesn't keep up with the cost of healthcare, so my checks actually decrease.<br /> Now, I understand that I have mostly worked in behavioral health and education, but I am sure this applies to many, many other industries. It wasn't that long ago that a teacher could provide for a family with multiple kids as the sole income earner. Where I live now, an entry level teacher takes home $24,000 after taxes/benefits. That is hard to build a life on (mortgage/rent/car/pay possible student loans) and support a family. And that isn't counting the cost of health insurance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-942374 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 14:16:53 +0000 honeybear 942374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: I do not. (But you'd expect me to say that.... :) ) Four percent of workers age 25 and over who are paid by the hour are making minimum wage or less: <a href="http://www.bls.gov/cps/minwage2010.htm" rel="nofollow">http://www.bls.gov/cps/minwage2010.htm</a>. Raising the minimum wage might help some very young workers (ages 16-25), because they make up over half of those who make MW, but it would be unlikely to solve the problem here, which is whether people have more than 1 child. The mean age of first birth for American women is 25.4. So, women aren't making the decision as to whether to have a second child when they're making MW (mostly), they're making it when they're older and not making MW anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941888 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 12:31:19 +0000 mrbee 941888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: Even if your salary is well beyond minimum wage, these issues can still affect your family planning I think? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941835 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 12:17:27 +0000 T.H.O.U. 941835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just curious, how do you guys see this as tied to the minimum wage? Do you think increasing that would help with this issue? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941764 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 11:59:32 +0000 mediagirl 941764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: "Hopefully we can figure this out as a country within the next decade or two!" -- I hope so, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941760 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 11:59:17 +0000 looch 941760@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can I be honest here, I think that affordable childcare is the elephant in the room. We need it for working mothers to get back to work, extended maternity leaves are not the answer in our society. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941757 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 11:59:05 +0000 lizzywiz 941757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Money is the sole reason we are probably one and done.<br /> We are both in entry level social service jobs. Our paychecks have stayed the same or decreased due to budget cuts since 2008. We pay cash and keep our debts low but even so we can't pay our basic bills on one of our incomes (car insurance, mortgage, utilities, etc.). It just is what it is.<br /> I am fairly liberal, but I hesitate to say that the government/the people should subsidize my family's daycare so I can have more kids. I guess I would rather that governments and corporations would quit hoarding profits and pay jobs that require Master degrees (in our case) accordingly. That way everyone, those with children and those without, would benefit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941753 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 11:58:17 +0000 brownie 941753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@shopaholic: Or you don't live close to them. My parents are 9 and 6 hours away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941752 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 11:58:14 +0000 mediagirl 941752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: this is what really ticks me off as it is something we ALL know is true: "A closer look at the data shows just how much of a middle-class issue it is. The two groups that are still having lots of babies according to Census data? The very rich and the very poor. Americans in the lowest income quintile are having the most children, followed by earners in the top 5 percent." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941750 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 11:57:50 +0000 brownie 941750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It is so true. You pay as much for the first 4 years as you do for the 4 years of college. Doing IVF there is a chance of multiples. We are going to do 2 embryos put back and so twins are possible and triplets are a remote possibility. 2 kids we can afford (only 1 year of overlap), 3 we could make work. 4 kids and there is almost no way. And no way they will get the same as the first child. Our first son is going to Montessori preschool but if we have multiples, the multiples would have to go to the low cost preschool/daycare (about $300 cheaper than montessori). </p> <p>But even in elementary school, there is after school care (significantly cheaper but still a cost). Schools should go from 8:00 am - 5:00 pm add back recess, art, music, sports (why can't the leagues go to the schools and use their facilities). Start school at a lot younger (seriously, the increase in taxes can't be $12,000 the amount I pay for child care). Pay the people that care for and teach our children more and better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941747 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 11:57:32 +0000 shopaholic 941747@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: Definitely in my career-path it was only a few hundred over the cost of child-care after take-home. Most of my co-workers would quit after 1. </p> <p>* I also think this trend is based on the fact that many grandparents are now retiring later and later. Previously, a lot of grandparents would be the "free" childcare for grandchildren. Nowadays, grandparents have to keep working longer and/or have their own lives, and no longer the immediate "daycare" solution. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941696 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 11:46:12 +0000 honeybear 941696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So the answer to her question in the third-to-last paragraph is: Because it is too expensive. These articles always look wistfully at Norway and France and ponder the eternal question of why the US is so backwards in comparison. Another paragraph is merited, one that notes that both of those countries have the highest rates of taxation as a percent of GDP in the world. The lack of government-run creches here isn't because we have too many nuclear aircraft carriers--it's that we don't want to pay taxes at a rate of +50% of income. And it doesn't work to just raise taxes on the 'rich'. Everyone has to pay a lot more to implement a policy like this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941607 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 11:23:06 +0000 deactivated_account 941607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is a sad article. And I think about the expense of kids all the time. But childcare costs don't last forever. And I would hate to think of not having two kids - or even one kid - because I can't save for their college. I just know I want two or three kids and I hope that the rest (i.e., time and money) will figure itself out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941597 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 11:20:24 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 941597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Good article. Childcare costs and really just all the expenses that comes with kids is why I just want one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941558 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 11:10:11 +0000 mrbee 941558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: From the perspective of the government, it is investing a lot of money in each of its citizens. On top of attending public school, I received a lot of loans and grants while in college...</p> <p>Hopefully we can figure this out as a country within the next decade or two! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941546 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 11:07:25 +0000 Foodnerd81 941546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wahine08: Plus with more people waiting to reach educational and career goals before having kids, waiting until the first in in kindergarten isn't realistic for a lot of people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941543 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 11:06:16 +0000 Foodnerd81 941543@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I just really, truly can't picture a better way-- like I read about the French 'creche' things or whatever and all I can think is, that would never work here. But you are right about a lot of very qualified people pretty much being forced out of the workforce by child care. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941542 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 11:05:36 +0000 wahine08 941542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Childcare costs for one won't be more then my paycheck (I make about 40% of the household income), so I will be going back to work for sure.</p> <p>It's sad but it plays a huge factor in considering One and Done in our family. I don't think we could afford childcare for 2. Maybe when our first is in Kindegarten would we add to our brood but even then, it would greatly impact our lifestyle (even more then children already do!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941533 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 11:03:39 +0000 mrbee 941533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: Thanks for sharing - a great article!</p> <p>I think the US needs to rethink the cost of childcare... it hurts individual families (by taking up so much of the income) but it hurts the overall nation (by taking so many qualified/educated employees out of the workforce). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941520 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 11:00:16 +0000 Foodnerd81 941520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@shopaholic: My decision to stay at home was made pretty easy by the fact that the child care costs would come out close to even to my paycheck! If I had two, I would absolutely be paying to work, unless we moved to a much cheaper area.</p> <p>So, I agree that child care costs are pretty out of control, but I have also never really felt like it was the government's responsibility to pay for my children.... I guess since we can't even expect to have unpaid time off to even HAVE a baby, the idea of a *good* government sponsored or subsidized child care is just too far beyond what I can imagine. I feel like it's up to every individual family to decide how many children they can afford. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941518 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 10:59:43 +0000 Adira 941518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's so sad if families want more than one child and just can't afford it. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941510 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 10:56:02 +0000 shopaholic 941510@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally true on the childcare costs adding up. Most women I know will eventually stay at home (at least until elementary school years) once they have 2 LOs - even the higher-earning ones! If your pay is just average, it's almost even to just stay home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/americas-one-child-policy#post-941469 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 10:46:53 +0000 Foodnerd81 941469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you seen this article? What do you think:<br /> <a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/07/17/america-s-one-child-policy.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&#038;ir=Parents" rel="nofollow">http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/07/17/america-s-one-child-policy.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&#038;ir=Parents</a> </p>