https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 23 May 2026 02:30:34 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/and-so-the-parenting-advice-begins#post-740164 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 14:29:16 +0000 JerricaBenton 740164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's very annoying that some people assume men have to be nagged into being a good father. Some one in my husband's family boasted that he had 5 kids and never changed a diaper. He was obnoxiously judging my husband for doing it and me for letting him. People can be gross. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/and-so-the-parenting-advice-begins#post-740130 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 14:22:51 +0000 yoursilverlining 740130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I got this mostly from older generations....many of the same who also gasped when I said I was going back to work. I think it's an outdated assumption for the most part; I found that kind of laughing it off and then telling them everything my husband was doing worked well. Usually that got a "wow, you're lucky!!" type response, which is also super frustrating and a shitty assumption for people to make about men/fathers. My husband wants to be involved, because it's his baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/and-so-the-parenting-advice-begins#post-740038 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 14:00:03 +0000 MamaMoose 740038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree. My husband is an amazing father... but it really makes both of us mad when people act like he should get all sorts of praise for being a parent, when it's totally expected of me. My parents shared all the parenting duties equally as well (despite the fact that my dad worked and my mom was a SAHM) so I guess that's part of why I expect that to be the norm. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/and-so-the-parenting-advice-begins#post-740011 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 13:54:03 +0000 mrs. wagon 740011@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Yoyo: I totally agree. I will wholeheartedly admit that Wagon Sr. did way more work than myself during his paternity leave when both babies were born. When Wagon Jr. was born I didn't change a single diaper until he was 4 weeks old. (I was scared of the circumcision wound!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/and-so-the-parenting-advice-begins#post-740010 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 13:53:37 +0000 Dandelion 740010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There's nothing like feeling like you have to defend the one person who is going through everything right along beside you. People said this to me right away when I lost my baby, and I was feeling bad for him, cause he was putting all this pressure on himself to make sure I was ok, and he was feeling all the same grief I was. He just didn't have the physical limitations right afterwards like I did, so even though he was physically more capable, it didn't mean that he had to do everything. I hated that for him, cause he was a gem (and still is) those first couple of weeks.</p> <p>Tell them he IS helping and he's a grown man and he doesn't need you to tell him to help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/and-so-the-parenting-advice-begins#post-740005 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 13:52:25 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 740005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @mrs. wagon: Just go on and onnnn about how awesome he is and maybe they'll shut their traps!</p> <p>So many people assume dads are bumbling fools, especially in the beginning. It's sad. DH was always wonderful and continues to be a fantastic parent to our son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/and-so-the-parenting-advice-begins#post-740000 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 13:50:26 +0000 mrs. wagon 740000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think responding immediately gushing about how much he's doing will shut them up pretty quickly! People try to be helpful when they hear you are busy and stressed, and it's so easy to point the finger at someone (other than themselves!) who doesn't seem to be helping. Especially when it's someone who hasn't experienced having a newborn around I tend to be a little snarky... a la "having a new baby is just a little bit difficult, ya know". </p> <p>congrats, btw!!! my only advice is to smile, nod, and totally ignore what everyone says :D </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/and-so-the-parenting-advice-begins#post-739992 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 13:46:38 +0000 lomom 739992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We brought LO home Monday and have been getting settled in. We shared the news that he was out of NICU with our family and close friends and oh man did the advice start pouring in. </p> <p>I've just said that we're great, very busy when asked how we are doing, hoping that they'd understand I wasn't up for a long chat. I've had four people tell me to make DH help. </p> <p>My DH has been pretty phenomenal, for the record. He's fed, diapered, and snuggled LO, he's made bottles, washed bottles, helped me get LO to breast, he's kept up the yard, done laundry and dishes... And he's working 5 hours a day because his boss is a piece of shit. </p> <p>I'm not quite sure what else he could possibly do to help out and it pisses me off that people assume he's not helping. </p> <p>I'd love to tell them to keep their stupid comments to themselves, but that makes me sound like a jerk. I've just said that DH has been wonderful and supportive but the assumption that he'd be anything but just irritates me. </p>