https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 02 May 2026 11:03:54 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/annoyed-in-law-situation-long-vent#post-177106 Sat, 02 Jun 2012 19:43:29 +0000 mrsjyw 177106@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no doubt my MIL will be the same way. So I've already started telling DH (esp in the first few weeks) of how I want our time to be spent as a family first.</p> <p>My mom and MIL are both nearby and will both want to be around (which I don't mind at all) but it will be as I ask them to be there ( i have no problem asking for help or having them over) I jsut can't stand when it's on HER schedule (MIL) and not mine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/annoyed-in-law-situation-long-vent#post-177069 Sat, 02 Jun 2012 17:42:53 +0000 enjollah 177069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes I agree with what everyone has said! You must be firm and communicate with your husband as well. In laws...MILs can definitely over step their boundaries. They are excited because at that age, having a grandchild is what they live for. But at the same time, you must be able to say no at times and don't over exert yourself (even if you're not doing much...stress can be draining too). You are also recovering as well. I still struggle to say no to my MIL and LO is 3.5 months old. I am actually not speaking to my MIL because I am mad at her.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/annoyed-in-law-situation-long-vent#post-177040 Sat, 02 Jun 2012 15:43:10 +0000 Rubies 177040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL was the exact same way. It got to the point where she would call and I wouldn't pick up. Or, I'd have hubs tell her she couldn't come over. One time she came unannounced and I didn't answer the door - even though she knew I was home. UGH! Eventually she got the point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/annoyed-in-law-situation-long-vent#post-177038 Sat, 02 Jun 2012 15:40:55 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 177038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You've gotten great advice. It's hard but stick to your guns and have hubs say "no" frequently and firmly. Not ok! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/annoyed-in-law-situation-long-vent#post-177030 Sat, 02 Jun 2012 14:51:15 +0000 MamaCate 177030@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jennylynn: i obviously dont know your family, but what would happen if you called MIL and told her that DH made a mistake when he said they could come over without checking with you. And maybe say what you told us, that you are sad aboit going back to work and want to savor your time with LO? Or what if DH was the messenger sincehe agreed to the plan? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/annoyed-in-law-situation-long-vent#post-177027 Sat, 02 Jun 2012 14:44:26 +0000 jennylynn 177027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaCate: I don't know how to get out of it! My husband already told them they could come over! I totally had plans to nap, and get movies when me and LO woke up. And snuggle the rest of the evening. No nap for me now. Grrr. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/annoyed-in-law-situation-long-vent#post-177022 Sat, 02 Jun 2012 14:36:55 +0000 MamaCate 177022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I completely agree with Mrs. Yoyo! Boundaries are huge and even though it may be uncomfortable it is better to set the stage now than continue dealing with it as LO gets older. Your MIL needs to respect that yoy are the mom so you are in charge of LO and her time. Can you get out of hosting tonight, especially if DH isnt around? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/annoyed-in-law-situation-long-vent#post-177020 Sat, 02 Jun 2012 14:34:13 +0000 mediagirl 177020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. You need rules. If you have plans, this is your life, you keep those plans. Your MIL is out of line. Your life is not her life. Since you spend a lot of time wih her w/o your husband around, I would say you need to tell your husband that you're going to talk to her and them have a conversation with her soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/annoyed-in-law-situation-long-vent#post-177014 Sat, 02 Jun 2012 14:26:53 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 177014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jennylynn: You aren't being unreasonable at all. In fact, you've been far more patient for far longer than I would have been. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/annoyed-in-law-situation-long-vent#post-177012 Sat, 02 Jun 2012 14:25:25 +0000 jennylynn 177012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Yoyo: thank you. I wasn't sure if I was being unreasonable about all of it or not. I'm glad someone else sees where I'm coming from! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/annoyed-in-law-situation-long-vent#post-177008 Sat, 02 Jun 2012 14:20:58 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 177008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You need to set some boundaries, stat, and your husband needs to help if you aren't comfortable asking them to back off. I know how uncomfortable it can be to have to constantly be around in-laws without your SO present. Also, under no circumstances should you have to rearrange your schedule to accommodate them on short notice OR (what really gets me!) let anyone get her up from a nap to hold her. Not cool. NOT cool. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/annoyed-in-law-situation-long-vent#post-177006 Sat, 02 Jun 2012 14:16:56 +0000 jennylynn 177006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm really trying to be patient and understanding, but I'm just to the point where I'm seriously annoyed. I've been on maternity leave for 8 weeks, and I can't even count how many times my in-laws (particularly MIL) have been over. Now I understand they want to see their grandbaby, but it's been really inconvienent for me a lot of times, and they don't really take that into account. The first few weeks, MIL was at my house literally every other day. It wouldn't be as bad if my husband didn't work 2nd and isn't home everytime she's here, leaving me to feel like I'm entertaining. Since then, it's been several times a week. She usually gives me an hour or two notice, but it still usually results in me having to move around my own plans and schedule to be sure I'm home. The one time I suggested a different time bc I had my own stuff to do, she seemed a little cold to me. </p> <p>Not to mention, whenever she comes over it's strictly to hold the baby no matter what. Like, if she's napping soundly in her crib (which isn't always to get her to do) she'll get her and hold her. And they often come over at times that are inconsiderate in my opinion. My husband has been working 12 hour shifts, 5-6 days a week, so we want our alone time as a family on the day(s) he's off. They came over on our anniversay (our first anniversary) which was strange. And they babysat her for a few hours the day before so it's not like they hadn't seen her in awhile. And now, I'm going back to work monday and all I wanted to do this weekend was spend my last 2 days relaxing at home, me and my baby girl. But, they just asked my husband if they could come over this evening (after he leaves for work). So, so much for that plan. :( They will be sharing babysitting duties with my mom when I go back to work, so they will be getting plenty of time with her this week. I just want to make the most of the time I have left, and I feel like I've let them put a damper on my time home with my LO.</p> <p>It is what it is I guess. But I just needed to blow off some steam about it! </p>