https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 09 May 2026 06:44:24 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-etiquette-question-this-time-regarding-play-datesleep-over#post-2894099 Fri, 09 Aug 2019 13:22:26 +0000 Ajsmommy 2894099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just back to add that I agree with everyone that DD is in no way ready for a sleep over and neither am I..... I guess I have to be better at just blowing these things off/over when she mentions them. I struggle with that part of parenting I guess. I don't like to 'lie' or make things up. DH does this easily... he'd easily deflect these comments but I get stuck.. like unsure of how to react. I'll have to work on it!!</p> <p>I also 100% agree that DD doesn't really understand what a "sleep over" really is and I'm sure that if she ever went she'd be ready to come home for bed time. </p> <p>I like the idea of offering to have a movie night in jammies and pop corn and such and then just leave at bedtime or push bedtime a little..I might try to set this up</p> <p>And as far as the boy/girl aspect of it I don't think it's an issue and doesn't need to be made into one at this time. Meaning I won't be saying "no sleepover w asher bc he's a boy".... it's just "no sleepovers bc you're still too young" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-etiquette-question-this-time-regarding-play-datesleep-over#post-2894012 Thu, 08 Aug 2019 18:17:26 +0000 PawPrints 2894012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DD is 4 and has announced about a hundred times to us that she has already arranged for a sleepover with whatever classmate or another, either at our house or their house. We just say "Ah I see" and move on. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-etiquette-question-this-time-regarding-play-datesleep-over#post-2893995 Thu, 08 Aug 2019 15:38:14 +0000 bhbee 2893995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@foodiebee: I don’t know that it’s a certain age for me, maybe it’s just the situation. My oldest has been a clinger a long time and it’s been improving since she started kinder (going into 2nd now). So maybe this year if she asks. But only with a good friend where I know the parents well and feel comfortable. She went to a mini-sleepover bday party which was fun - as mentioned above all the fun but home at 8:30! </p> <p>Another issue for me is room sharing, in a year or so we may switch up the room sharing so oldest has her own again and then it would be easier to manage. And I would guess my younger two will get to have things like this younger than my oldest does ... I think a lot of us here have our oldest just getting to this age. </p> <p>I had way more freedom as a kid than kids have now. I struggle a bit with that ... I grew up in a neighborhood where all the kids played outside constantly and all the parents knew each other and we could run paths in the woods all day. It’s changed so much and we live more urban than where I grew up. That’s a whole different thread ... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-etiquette-question-this-time-regarding-play-datesleep-over#post-2893993 Thu, 08 Aug 2019 15:03:34 +0000 foodiebee 2893993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just reading all the responses out of interest, and I'm curious what age everyone feels like sleepovers are acceptable to start? </p> <p>Thinking back, I was sleeping over at my BFF's home in kindergarten. We loved it and had such a good time. (Both girls, fwiw.) This also made me think about what I might say if my son wanted a girl to sleep over one day...Maybe you could pitch it as a campout in the living room and they could use sleeping bags? Just trying to think of ways to not discourage while helping the parents be comfortable! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-etiquette-question-this-time-regarding-play-datesleep-over#post-2893964 Thu, 08 Aug 2019 13:38:33 +0000 Alexandra603 2893964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First, kids that age are always planning playdates on their own - I just smile and say "that sounds fun" to most of them - especially if I don't even know the other kid's parents! That said, my just turned 5 year old had her first sleepover last month at our house. I've known the other girl since they were babies, though, and know her mom well. My daughter isn't ready to sleepover at someone else's house but this girl was and they had such a great time. We haven't had to enforce this rule but I'd only let her do sleepovers when I know the other family well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-etiquette-question-this-time-regarding-play-datesleep-over#post-2893963 Thu, 08 Aug 2019 13:24:45 +0000 math.nerd 2893963@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is also 5 and heading to K. His best friend is a girl as well and they absolutely want to have a sleepover! But, like others have said, it's a no for now - not because it's a boy and a girl, but because I don't think either of them are ready to sleep away from home. TBH, I don't think they really know what they are saying - I'm sure come bedtime they'd have second thoughts about being away from home.</p> <p>My compromise is this: let's have all the FUN of a sleepover without the sleeping. Have the friend come over for dinner and a movie, wear your pjs, eat popcorn, stay up late - but still get picked up for bedtime. If they really want to, you can go to the other house in the AM for pancakes in your jammies. Hooray! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-etiquette-question-this-time-regarding-play-datesleep-over#post-2893961 Thu, 08 Aug 2019 13:18:36 +0000 merriment 2893961@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter just turned 7 and I am only now barely starting to think about sleepovers. There's no way she was ready at 5 (regardless of the gender of the person she wanted to sleep over with). My kid would need a lot more playdates (particularly drop off playdates at someone's house) before I would even begin to think about sleepovers.<br /> That said, she has asked. We've said "no" but then suggested a movie night. We have the kid (and their parents if they want) over for pizza and a movie. The kids all wear pajamas and sit on a pile of blankets and pillows. It's timed to end around bedtime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-etiquette-question-this-time-regarding-play-datesleep-over#post-2893932 Thu, 08 Aug 2019 10:34:17 +0000 nana87 2893932@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Lo1 is also 5 and starting k next month, and she talks about sleepovers but I just say she’s not old enough yet (she’s had sleepovers w grandma and grandpa only!). I do try to plan play dates though usually just reciprocating invites she’s had. None of them have been drop off ones yet </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-etiquette-question-this-time-regarding-play-datesleep-over#post-2893924 Thu, 08 Aug 2019 09:22:24 +0000 graceandjoy 2893924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 4.5 constantly asks for playdates and sleepovers too. I just kind of go along with it and asks her questions. I have told her that their mommies and daddies will miss them too much, so maybe when you're a little older, lol. </p> <p>We can barely get it together to coordinate playdates with our neighbor, so I won't even get into playdates with people that don't live close to us haha! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-etiquette-question-this-time-regarding-play-datesleep-over#post-2893919 Thu, 08 Aug 2019 08:29:35 +0000 Mrsbells 2893919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: my oldest child is 7 and asks for sleepovers all the time and I have steadily said no. There are so many issues at play. I am not comfortable letting her sleep over at a friend's house for so many reasons and do not want the responsibility and liability of her having a friend sleep over without their parents. The gender isn't an issue at such a young age though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-etiquette-question-this-time-regarding-play-datesleep-over#post-2893918 Thu, 08 Aug 2019 08:28:42 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2893918@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In your situation I would just say that sleepovers can only happen when she’s older, and that play dates would be a good idea for now.</p> <p>As for the opposite gender thing, I think you do what you’re comfortable with but also consider that some of what you’re thinking is projecting gender stereotypes onto your kid. Which, we all do as a society so please don’t take it the wrong way or as a criticism! We also tend to sexualize/romanticize opposite gender relationships at a very young age, when kids don’t see it that way until they’re quite a lot older (and maybe not even then!) Of course you can set some boundaries if you want to encourage a sleepover with whoever at some point ie: we don’t sleep in the same bed, lights out at this time, etc. And that might make you feel comfortable. </p> <p>When she’s older, and ready for a sex/relationships talk, you could broach some further boundaries with friends of any gender coming over, staying over, etc while still maintaining your comfort but allowing her to have whatever friends she wants and not discouraging based on gender. If your daughter does end up being straight, then address the opposite gender, if not then both genders! I know for me, being secretly bi and not out to my parents, they had a lot of rules for boys in the house but none for girls :silly: Which maybe gives you double to be concerned about rather than less ha! Bottom line, I would limit based on age at this stage and determine what you’re comfortable with down the road as she gets older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-etiquette-question-this-time-regarding-play-datesleep-over#post-2893916 Thu, 08 Aug 2019 08:12:31 +0000 ALV91711 2893916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think 5 is young for a sleepover unless you are super close with the family or they are cousins. For now I’d just say you aren’t ready to do sleepovers with friends, let’s have a play date. I wouldn’t say anything about not doing it because he’s a boy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-etiquette-question-this-time-regarding-play-datesleep-over#post-2893914 Thu, 08 Aug 2019 07:56:09 +0000 Jennibenni 2893914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also wouldn't be comfortable with a sleepover at this age, and it's possible the other mom feels the same way so there's that. In terms of what to tell your daughter, I would just say the truth, you are not ready for that but let's plan a playdate. </p> <p>I'd just put it in the same bucket as when your kid tells you she's cooked up a great plan to have ice cream for dinner and stay up all night haha. Like, "great idea, we aren't going to be able to do that but let's do xyz." :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-etiquette-question-this-time-regarding-play-datesleep-over#post-2893913 Thu, 08 Aug 2019 07:39:50 +0000 bhbee 2893913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just for us personally, I wouldn’t do a sleep over at 5 so I’d just say we’re not ready for sleepovers yet and let the gender part go. So much will change with friends in kinder anyway!</p> <p>If you think the boy is less interested maybe a group play date would be good? My oldest was good friends with a boy in her last year of preschool - they still talk about each other and we see them occasionally. But they went to different schools and aren’t close anymore. Now she’s going into 2nd and school friends tend to be very same-gendered, for better or worse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-etiquette-question-this-time-regarding-play-datesleep-over#post-2893912 Thu, 08 Aug 2019 07:36:15 +0000 Foodnerd81 2893912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kid can’t have a sleepover now regardless of the gender of either child! She just turned six and starts K next month but she’s in now way at all ready for that. Sure she talks about sleepovers but that doesn’t mean she’ll have one any time soon. I think reaching out to the other mom for a play date makes sense, maybe at a playground while the weather is still nice.<br /> But to your real point, I don’t really know how to explain that down the road. Or if it’s ok for 5 year old opposite gender kids to have sleepovers. Like I feel like I would if they were cousins. But five is just super Young for a sleepover anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-etiquette-question-this-time-regarding-play-datesleep-over#post-2893910 Thu, 08 Aug 2019 07:19:28 +0000 Ajsmommy 2893910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tell ya, they sure don't tell you all the questionable things you'll come up against when parenting... Where is the parenting handbook????? I need it asap!</p> <p>So DD is 5 yo, about to head into kindergarten. She is social and is always talking about play dates and sleep overs. So far I have initiated one play date and it was ok. We went to a public bounce house and the kids had a fine time.</p> <p>Well, this week DD has started to ask to have a sleep over... which I am not at all ready for!! The questionable part is that she is asking for her friend that is a boy to sleep over! She told me they already had it all planned and they already discussed where they would sleep (her bed :shocked: )... anyway.... I obviously know we won't be doing this. </p> <p>But how do I go about telling DD no... and I feel kind of like a jerk to be saying just bc he's a boy she can't have a sleep over. But it is bc he's a boy and she's a girl, right?? Ugh.. in todays day and age why do I feel wrong? I mean I want DD to have friends of both genders and all sizes, colors, backgrounds, etc so I feel like I should be fostering this relationship instead of stomping it out. </p> <p>I've thought about just organizing a play date but to be honest I'm not 100% sure this boy is as interested in it as DD would be.... </p> <p>Thoughts? Have your kids wanted a co ed sleep over at a young age? what did you do or say? And even if you haven't experienced this.. what is your advice? what would you do? </p>