https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 12 May 2026 22:26:36 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2660090 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 13:34:28 +0000 Anagram 2660090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: Nope. I wanted to discuss all this with my husband first, so I guess today I will have to have a sit down when I get home and go over all of this with her. re: the unpaid time off and the inflexibility of our jobs, and the inability of our parents to come babysit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2660088 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 13:33:22 +0000 Anagram 2660088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: his vacation time doesn't roll over. So he purposely saved 6 days to be used the last 6 business days of the year. So he would have to use the new year's vacation. Which isn't a problem in theory, but it is in this instance because he's already taking the previous 6 business days and he has projects and manages people and would be considered irresponsible to take another week off directly after the previous week off. </p> <p>It's just a bad time to ask off. The first week of a new year when you are already taking the previous week off just isn't going to work for us. I think as PPs have stated, I'll have to tell her the time off would be unpaid so she realizes that the unpaid time would probably negate the money saved on flights. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2660064 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 13:01:24 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2660064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Also, does the nanny know that IF you are even able to pull this off and find coverage for her, that she would not be able to take the time off as paid time off? That loss of income may totally negate any savings on the flight she may be getting by shifting her plans. I would make that clear ASAP and see if she doesn't change her tune. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2660035 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 12:42:32 +0000 looch 2660035@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Yeah, I hear you on all of a sudden dropping off at a new location...that would have been (and probably still would be a problem for my son). </p> <p>The only thing that I can think of that hasn't been mentioned is for your husband to move his time off to the first week of January. That's seriously going above and beyond and I would only offer that up in the case of say, a death in the nanny's family where things are out of her control. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2660023 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 12:32:19 +0000 Anagram 2660023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There's one nanny in our building who works only part time, but some of her hours overlap ours. She is maybe the only backup caregiver I would consider because I sort of know her and she sees my daughters almost every day because the kids play together. But since the hours overlap, the other parents (who have just 1 child) would have to be okay with their nanny suddenly having 3 kids at once for that week, and I think most families wouldn't go for that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2660019 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 12:30:47 +0000 Anagram 2660019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: yeah, it sucks, but I think we will just have to tell her no. I asked my mom last night if it was even a possibility that she could come back and she has a flight to CA to see my oldest sister that week. So that's out.</p> <p>We ran it by my in-laws too, and they haven't said an outright no yet, but they seemed hesitant because of the healthcare situation and my MILs health. They said they would think about it for a few days, but now I feel bad that we even asked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2660016 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 12:29:22 +0000 Anagram 2660016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: My husband's job will pay for Bright Horizons drop off (not come to your house), but it's been problematic in the past. I did use the back up care when I was on Mat leave a little for my oldest, but the centers are very full near us, so IF they have an opening, it might be at a totally different BH every day. I feel like that's pretty cruel for a baby that's never even been in daycare before--a different center every day. Also, my oldest child is adaptable and would probably be okay, but my youngest is not adaptable at all and would likely be scream crying all day. I don't want to put her through that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2660010 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 12:26:52 +0000 Anagram 2660010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaG: 4 days are personal days. I have some sick days, but our district is pretty strict about how you use them. For instance, they are only for my own sickness, not my children's illnesses, and if you miss two days in a row, they require a doctor's note. So it's not as if I can take these 4 days off and fake a personal illness. I wouldn't do that anyway, it's just morally wrong to me. I mean, I want my sick days to accrue in the even I actually need them. Car wreck, cancer, pregnancy, whatever. Not additional nanny vacation.</p> <p>And 4 days is pretty good. In my old state, I had only 3. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2660003 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 12:18:58 +0000 Anya 2660003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I would not accommodate this request. It is more expensive to travel around the holidays- such is life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659996 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 12:12:51 +0000 Mrsbells 2659996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I would say no.<br /> This is one of the reasons why I always prefer daycare center to a nanny. It would really bother me that she keeps asking for days off even though you are giving her extra days and she knows the nature of your job </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659974 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 11:54:22 +0000 hellobeeboston 2659974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>hmm, if my nanny asked for this i might be a little annoyed - but i'd probably give it to her, unpaid, and get backup care -- if that's even an option for you. For us we could probably get grandparents to come and stay and help out those extra days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659858 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 10:13:30 +0000 petitenoisette 2659858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaG: @Adira: 4 personal days is pretty good but if that isn't in addition to sick days that is pretty bad! I have 15 sick days a year that roll over (10 can be used yearly for sick kids but no one really checks either way) and 3 personal days. </p> <p>@Anagram: I agree with others that she is being really unreasonable to request this. I actually think it's really not cool of her to even ask when she is already getting paid for many holidays and a Christmas bonus (I think you are going above and beyond already despite the slight lack of flexibility). Is she younger? It kind of sounds like something an immature version of myself might think would be ok to ask but older me knows better. :silly: </p> <p>Also, regarding worrying she won't take as good care of your kids if you say no, I have the same worry about complaining about anything that happens at daycare. But I have to remind myself that hopefully our childcare providers aren't psychopaths who would take out a minor issue on a child! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659853 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 10:12:09 +0000 skipra 2659853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way let her have it off paid! If you can find a good back up plan then let her take them unpaid but I would not try to burden the grandparents with it. I think college students tend to have a longer winter break so maybe that would be an option? Or if you can find a SAHM or as needed babysitter, it would probably be a good idea to have a backup plan anyway in case of your nanny's illness or other emergency situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659850 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 10:10:27 +0000 psw27 2659850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As others would say, I would say no. It sounds like she gets more paid vacation days than anyone else I know! She needs to recognize how good she has it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659849 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 10:10:19 +0000 ElbieKay 2659849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope nope nope. She knew up front, and she's just asking you to absorb a PTO hardship so that she doesn't have to absorb a financial hardship.</p> <p>In your situation, the only thing I would consider is if a trusted caregiver (like your mom) can come, and if the cost of her airfare is less than you would have spent on your nanny's unpaid time off. This is based on what I have read in your other posts about how helpful your parents/in-laws are, so I think the week would go smoothly with your mom there. I would not sacrifice your PTO or your husband's for this, and I would not go through the hassle of unfamiliar backup care.</p> <p>You should also make it clear to your nanny that this would be unpaid time off. So I suspect the savings in airfare would be offset by her lack of income for the week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659843 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 10:05:58 +0000 youboots 2659843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was a nanny this is not reasonable. I vote no. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659841 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 10:05:29 +0000 Miss Ariel 2659841@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaG: my Dh, doesn't really get personal days. Basically if you miss a day of classes, even if you find someone to teach them, they dock you 8 hours of pay. Which is crazy since most college days aren't a full 8 hours worth of classes. If instead you went to one class and missed the others they only dock you the hours you missed. Crazy right!</p> <p>But he does have the summer off (assuming he's not teaching summer school), a month at Christmas, spring break, fall break, and since we're in Louisiana, Mardi Gras break. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659838 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 10:02:19 +0000 Mrs. Microscope 2659838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How many total weeks paid vacation doe she get in a year? And you mentioned a year end bonus on top of that? People would kill for that!! You need to say no, she is being unreasonable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659770 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 09:00:35 +0000 Trailmix 2659770@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm usually super-pro domestic help's rights but in this case, I'd say no. I'm in the exact same<br /> Situation (teacher with full-time nanny in NYC) and I'd be really upset if my nanny asked me for this time off. I get 2 personal days for the year and she knows that my schedule is not flexible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659715 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 07:39:42 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2659715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Depending on the cost of the flight could you gift her air travel instead of a Christmas bonus? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659712 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 07:32:12 +0000 Adira 2659712@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaG: I think 4 personal days is probably pretty good. My best friend is a teacher and only gets 2 personal days. I'm not sure how many sick days - maybe 4 or 5? I think it's because they already have a number of set vacations, plus the summer off?</p> <p>@Anagram: I would definitely tell her no. She's already getting the week off and she has time off coming up in February and April. PAID! I think you're already very generous and you shouldn't have to scramble for a back-up and have your daughters suffer dealing with a stranger for a week. Tell your nanny that you're sorry, but you can't get the time off yourselves and have no back-up. She should understand and should've planned better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659709 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 07:26:02 +0000 erinbaderin 2659709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would tell her you're really sorry but it just isn't possible, and maybe let her know how much of a bonus you'll be giving her and say hopefully that will help offset the higher cost of plane tickets. But you shouldn't feel bad, this is an unreasonable request. I can't think of any job that lets you just randomly ask for extra vacation time, and pretty much everybody knows that plane tickets are much more expensive at Christmas. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659699 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 05:29:09 +0000 Ms. RV 2659699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say no. If my boss told me that I could have X days off and I said I needed more, he would pretty much say "Oh well". I don't think a nanny should be much different. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659693 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 02:24:33 +0000 lamariniere 2659693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would do one of two things. Either say no, she already knew about the situation. Or, tell her she can have the extra days, but unpaid, and you can put the money towards backup care. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659666 Wed, 30 Nov 2016 23:45:48 +0000 coopsmama 2659666@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As a former nanny, I think this request is completely unreasonable. I'm surprised she even asked! I would tell her no. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659657 Wed, 30 Nov 2016 23:13:54 +0000 DesertDreams88 2659657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As a fellow teacher who has used 2 "nannies," I totally agree and understand your scenario. I'm not opposed to saying no, but I like all of the other options you listed, too.</p> <p>Random backup care- Do you have any SAHM friends you'd trust for those couple of days, that your daughter already knows? I'd pay them, and not your nanny (def. unpaid time)</p> <p>As for the "ask a parent" option, I saw your comment about your mom &amp; in-laws. I'd ask either your FIL or your MIL about expected recovery timeline and go from there. </p> <p>If neither of those work out, it stinks but yep, no extra time for the nanny and that's how life works. We teachers don't get a lot of time or flexibility, and that was discussed beforehand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659639 Wed, 30 Nov 2016 22:54:11 +0000 Truth Bombs 2659639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I remember correctly your husband is in finance? When I worked on Wall St we had an on site child care center that could be used a limited number of days for back up care and I know many of the banks had similar set up. If something like that is available I would tell the nanny she can have the extra days, but they will be unpaid. If there's no back up care option, I would not hesitate to say no. She knew the expectations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659637 Wed, 30 Nov 2016 22:34:05 +0000 Mrs. J 2659637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaG: as a teacher, I had ten days—8 sick and 2 personal </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659635 Wed, 30 Nov 2016 22:28:56 +0000 littlejoy 2659635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A change in care and schedules is so disruptive. I would say that you can't accommodate that. If she can't make it work, and has to be gone until the 7th, I would absolutely not pay her for those days off. </p> <p>It might be worth sitting down and having a chat about schedule expectations and your lack of flexibility within your work schedules. If she can't commit to what was originally agreed upon, it might be time to find someone new. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-nanny-wwyd-vacation-request#post-2659631 Wed, 30 Nov 2016 22:08:42 +0000 Madison43 2659631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You know I'm super flexible about this type of stuff and I'd still say no. You were upfront so she should know the deal. If you had alternative care close by I would let her take the week unpaid, but that's it. </p>