https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 08 Apr 2026 04:42:54 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-potty-training-thread-how-do-we-fix-this#post-2580601 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 22:46:19 +0000 ALV91711 2580601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is 3 and we have a similar problem but with poop. He keeps himself clean at daycare no problem but pretty much 1+ times in the evening and on weekends he poops in his underwear. He just doesn't seem to care and nothing seems to work. </p> <p>Consistency is key, but what that consistent thing is I'm at a loss for. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-potty-training-thread-how-do-we-fix-this#post-2580588 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 22:08:57 +0000 Foodnerd81 2580588@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: how old is S? She's about 3 months or so, right? I think C's crazy behavior peaked around then (though I was not, and am not, doing as good of a job showering her with attention). I hope part of this is just a phase that she outgrows for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-potty-training-thread-how-do-we-fix-this#post-2580577 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 21:13:11 +0000 hilsy85 2580577@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A lot of these suggestions of just making her go when you say or not letting her leave the bathroom sound like they will cause a major power struggle. I couldn't do that with my LO--he hated being asked to go, I just had to wait for him. We had a lot of issues with pee leaking for a good 7-8 months bc he just didn't recognize the urge early enough or didn't want to stop playing. I started saying that if he couldn't stop playing and use the potty then those toys would be put away because they were too distracting. That has worked. And also giving choices--in the regular potty or his travel potty? And immediately gratifying things--like small toys right away rather than having to stay dry a whole day for a toy. </p> <p>Also I felt similarly that I gave my son sooo much attention after the baby, I didn't understand why he wanted even more. But the reality is he was used to 100% attention so even tho he was getting maybe 99%, he still felt the lack of that 1. Plus just the addition of a new person. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-potty-training-thread-how-do-we-fix-this#post-2580548 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 19:52:30 +0000 MrsSRS 2580548@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would do one of two things. I would either get a potty timer and make going potty mandatory when the timer goes off. No fuss, just the timer goes off now we will immediately walk to the bathroom and sit. Or if that seems like it would be a power struggle then I would remove the attention for wet pants. So once she wets herself say a calm oh dear you're wet and lead her to the bathroom where there are wipes and dry clothes. Calmly inform her that if she chooses not to use the potty she will need to clean herself up. Then close the door. No leaving the bathroom or engaging until she puts herself in dry clothes. You want to refuse to stop akd pee kid? Cool, no biggie. But you cant play until you clean up your mess. Make it very, very boring. Then once she's in dry clothes she gets positive attention and no mention of the potty accident. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-potty-training-thread-how-do-we-fix-this#post-2580518 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 18:15:45 +0000 yerpie110 2580518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am the biggest trigger for dd1's poor behavior as well! She is the most attached to me, but behaves the worst :bummed: dd1 went through something similar - went at school and with the nanny no problem, but with me, she became extremely resistant and defiant. She refused to even sit, and when I forced, huge tantrums ensued. I finally spoke to the behaviorist at her school about it to get some tips on what I could do and she encouraged me to "go back in order to go forward." What she meant was, take the pressure off on actually peeing. If she has an accident, treat it as no big deal, though encourage her to help me clean up. For the potty, the focus is on making it fun, regardless of whether or not she peed. She gave me a few suggestions (books that she could only read when sitting, specific toys, etc.). It was a lot of trial and error and really keeping myself in check with my emotions, but what finally worked was letting her pick 2-3 food coloring colours to shoot into the toilet and see the different color creations we could get! She also enjoyed mixing water in a bowl and "painting" the toilet seat lid (I just sat her facing that direction). I praised her heavily (ie. Great trying!!! Great sitting!!!) and eventually, she started peeing for me as well. She also got extra mini m&amp;ms from me in the beginning, too. No problems now!</p> <p>It's so hard!! For my LO, it was a lot about control and not engaging in a power struggle over the potty with her, and instead, distracting her with fun. Good luck!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-potty-training-thread-how-do-we-fix-this#post-2580512 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 17:12:51 +0000 Cherrybee 2580512@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: It wasn't about the pee going everywhere, it was that our entire time together was negative; we couldn't do any activities, sit and read a book with her, anything, without her wetting herself - and the more it happened in a day, the more frustrated I became and the more upset E got. I just thought this is stupid. Why are we ruining our time together with this? If she doesn't want to be potty trained, that's fine, we will just stop. </p> <p>On paper, they're not doing anything differently - but E has always behaved better, eaten better and slept better with my inlaws and at nursery. I've always said its me that triggers the issues. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-potty-training-thread-how-do-we-fix-this#post-2580508 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 16:54:29 +0000 travelgirl1 2580508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What are your inlaws and nursery doing differently? Are they telling her when to go or letting her say when she needs to? Is she reacting calmly to their prompts then going crazy with yours?<br /> I do think consistency is important, if she is in underwear there I would keep her in it at home too - although I know it's super painful having pee everywhere 😔 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-potty-training-thread-how-do-we-fix-this#post-2580493 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 16:05:26 +0000 looch 2580493@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: then I would actually give her less attention, not more. I can tell you when my son gets used to a lot of one on one time, his behavior gets worse!!!</p> <p>I know the advice is all over the map in this one, but if my dad were reading this thread, he would tell you that your daughter is clearly the boss of you right now. It can be difficult to hear, but I get that message on a weekly basis and it is most often right on the money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-potty-training-thread-how-do-we-fix-this#post-2580488 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 15:54:15 +0000 Cherrybee 2580488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I dont think so. I only guessed she might be holding it in because she has a giant river of wee (on the sofa) just ten minutes after we made her try and she found a tiny trickle. It certainly wouldn't explain why this only happens when she's with me and DH. </p> <p>@avivoca: Yes, we have an upstairs toilet which permanently has her seat/step set up and a downstairs toilet which she can sit on without aides. We also keep a little plastic potty in her room and the lounge, and she does use them independently a few times a day (as well as wetting herself several times a day). She even took herself to the toilet at soft play the other day (I only know because I got a call over the tannoy to come and pull her pants up!). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-potty-training-thread-how-do-we-fix-this#post-2580485 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 15:45:11 +0000 avivoca 2580485@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: Is it easy for her to go by herself? We leave the light on for H and she hasastoolto get up to the potty by herself half the time, I don't know she has gone until she's peeing on the toilet. We have two bathrooms, so it's easy for us to have one bathroom always set up for her and the other set up for the parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-potty-training-thread-how-do-we-fix-this#post-2580483 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 15:39:14 +0000 looch 2580483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Since you mentioned her not emptying her bladder completely, I am wondering if she has a urinary tract infection. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-potty-training-thread-how-do-we-fix-this#post-2580480 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 15:36:02 +0000 Cherrybee 2580480@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@brownepiano: Asking her to go creates DRAMA! We have to bribe her and, even then, she holds it in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-potty-training-thread-how-do-we-fix-this#post-2580478 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 15:34:26 +0000 Cherrybee 2580478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: I dont think its on purpose any more. She doesn't get the twinkle in her eye that she used to get. Its more like she doesn't recognise when she needs to go - or just doesn't want to succumb to it - then it leaks out. But, if we prompt, she rages against being told what to do and either claims she cant do one or lets a tiny bit out..... then it leaks out. </p> <p>Honestly, she gets more 1:1 time with me than she ever has, but she's insatiable for attention. Her catchphrase is "look at me, mummy". I send my baby to the inlaws every Weds so I can spend the whole day with E. I do her bedtime every night, I always do her baths, we make breakfast together every morning, we read books. The baby is super chill so we get time to paint, have tea parties. I take her swimming every week. Yet, the second I turn my back to clear her plates away, she does something for attention. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-potty-training-thread-how-do-we-fix-this#post-2580469 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 14:59:08 +0000 brownepiano 2580469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh and we told him he needed to go when we asked until he started remembering on his own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-potty-training-thread-how-do-we-fix-this#post-2580468 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 14:57:47 +0000 brownepiano 2580468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is only 2 but was potty trained before ds2 came. Then everything stopped, like for you. He was ok out of the house but terrible at home. We went back to the beginning for a few days, asking him to go every 20 min and rewarding him every time he peed and his underwear was dry. It took a few days but now he is almost back to normal. We tried the punishment of keeping him inside if he peed his pants but that just made me miserable so we stopped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-potty-training-thread-how-do-we-fix-this#post-2580465 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 14:29:22 +0000 Truth Bombs 2580465@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is she truly having accidents or is she doing it on purpose? It sounds like she's doing it on purpose at home (and I know you've mentioned her doing so previously) so I would try to treat the underlying issue that's causing the behavior. Is she getting enough one on one time and attention from you and your husband when she's home? I know how hard it is to be pulled in so many directions. But I think making a concerted effort to have special time and positive interactions with her might help the issue. </p> <p>I do want to say though, you are the parent. I think your in laws are right that she shouldn't be in pull ups because she's capable of using the potty without having accidents. But that being said, if you feel like telling your LO that she'll have to wear pull ups until she stops having accidents will be effective, then do it. Your in laws don't get to make those decisions, even though they do provide childcare for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-potty-training-thread-how-do-we-fix-this#post-2580464 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 14:24:35 +0000 Cherrybee 2580464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: She usually seems unfussed. She just announces "I've wet myself". If I show that im mad with her (I usually try not to), she will get really upset and cry hysterically, but if I act calm she will be acting silly and joking about before I've even got her dressed again. I'm tempted to start leaving her in it, but then we will have piss all over the house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-potty-training-thread-how-do-we-fix-this#post-2580457 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 14:11:24 +0000 Foodnerd81 2580457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you tried going pantsless/ bottomless again for a weekend? I don't know- it's so hard with her because she is obviously smart and knows what she's doing! Does she care when she has an accident? Or is she just like, hey mom, need new pants, what's up? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-potty-training-thread-how-do-we-fix-this#post-2580446 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 13:49:58 +0000 Mrsbells 2580446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>in the beginning stages of potty training one thing I did was tell LO to go every 45 minutes or so, so she was going so regularly there werent many accidents. I also had her wear vinyl pants over her underwear to contain the mess abit.<br /> For us bribery really worked. treats/stickers every time she went and making a big deal about it each time she went on the potty with lots of celebration. fi she gets lots of positive attention when she does go , she will do it more often.<br /> LO loved elmo so we got elmo potty training books with a chart and stickers too<br /> I think mixing with the pullups can definiltely be confusing so I would only use those at night if possible </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-potty-training-thread-how-do-we-fix-this#post-2580444 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 13:44:25 +0000 Cherrybee 2580444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>E will be three at the end of this month. Six months ago, she announced that she "wanted to wear pants and go on the potty like the big girls", so we bought pants (that's what we call underwear here) and she started using the potty. We did a bottomless weekend at home and she took to it really well. She even started taking herself to the toilet (wiping was hit or miss!). We had a spell of a couple of weeks when she would be dry all day, but sometimes wet in the evening when she was super tired..... but then..... it stopped. I think she lost motivation. She started having accidents more and more frequently - always when she was with us (she was dry with her grandparents 3 days a week, dry at nursery 2 days a week, then wet at the weekends). Then her baby sister was born (12wks ago) and all hell broke loose; we had every kind of behaviour issue all at once, but E realised that wetting herself was a sure fire way to get immediate attention. After a few awful days (including her taking off her bottoms and weeing in her wardrobe), we made the decision to go back to pull ups and try again when she was ready; it was affecting our relationship with her because our entire weekends were negative. We told my inlaws, but they refused to put her in pull ups with them because she was dry with them..... Well, wouldn't you know, she started having accidents with them too, because she was confused about when she could and couldn't pee at will. My inlaws approached us about it and, well, they made me feel guilty about putting her in pull ups. They urged us to go back to pants. So we did. </p> <p>E's post-baby behaviour has really settled down now, but she wets herself several times a day still. She is dry with my inlaws again, and dry at nursery, but as soon as she gets home she wets. Weekends at home is worse than ever. She:</p> <p>- refuses to go to the toilet /potty when asked. If you push her, it can turn into a huge drama. </p> <p>- doesn't empty properly - so she will wet herself five minutes after a small wee</p> <p>- she never goes when she first feels the urge, so even when she says she needs to go, there is a small wet patch in her pants</p> <p>I'm tired of this now. Any ideas?</p> <p>We've tried incentivising but its not working - we've had the same toy in the cupboard for 2 weeks, that we promised she can have if she is dry all day. </p>