https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 06 Apr 2026 20:53:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1915473 Sat, 25 Oct 2014 09:13:55 +0000 smores 1915473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catlady: thank you for sharing! I think we'll do the same once we do try....if it doesn't seem to be working try again later! </p> <p>@Skadi: thank you for the essay- she makes it sound so easy!! </p> <p>@ScarletBegonia: I will try not to worry- every time he doesn't nap I feel like a failure! The Ped said I had to get him to nap and I try sooooo hard but sometimes it just doesn't happen! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1915219 Fri, 24 Oct 2014 21:02:45 +0000 MamaT 1915219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I keep him on pretty much the same schedule- give or take 30 minutes and depending on his mood! Our schedule is: 7am: wake up and eat. 8:30-10:00 nap. 10:00 eat. 11:30-1:00 nap. 1:00 eat. 2:00-4:00 nap. 4:00 eat. Maybe a quick nap at 5:30. 6:45 bath and eat. In bed by 7:00. He usually wakes at 4:00am for a quick snack but goes right back to sleep until 7am. Sometimes he wakes up from a nap early, but he doesn't want to eat until our normal time. I think keeping him on an eating schedule (of course only after he could go 3 hrs between meals) really improved his nap schedule, which in turn improved his night sleep. He still occasionally wakes up in the middle if a nap or the middle of the night and fusses. If it's not a cry, I usually give him 10 minutes to see if he can figure it out. 99% of the time he goes back to sleep with very little fussing. </p> <p>In terms of self soothing, once he was able to roll, we weaned him off of swaddle and pacifier at the same time. The pacifier mostly because you'd put it in his mouth, then he'd roll and lay on top of it, so it really wasn't soothing him at all. The first week certainly was not fun for anyone in the house, but once he got it figured out, it's made him such a better sleeper and happier overall! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1915179 Fri, 24 Oct 2014 20:02:59 +0000 Skadi 1915179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I thought you might enjoy this essay! <a href="http://www.theawl.com/2014/10/to-sleep-perchance-to-scream" rel="nofollow">http://www.theawl.com/2014/10/to-sleep-perchance-to-scream</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1915159 Fri, 24 Oct 2014 19:19:00 +0000 catlady 1915159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>13 weeks is young but every baby is different so you could definitely try it out and see and simply stop if it doesn't seem to be working. We tried around that age and it was so clear after one night that training wasn't going to work (we were doing CIO with checks and she just kept waking up over and over again crying). We tried again about 3 or 4 weeks later and she did great. By night 3, she was only waking to nurse and there was no crying. It's hard for me to say how it was different when she woke to nurse vs. just waking, but I think you'll just know. For us, she would just wake up way too soon after falling asleep (like 1-2 hrs instead of 5 hrs). </p> <p>We did ours unswaddled (sleep sack) because she could roll at that point. We also got rid of the paci at the same time, although unfortunately that habit crept back in later. However, she can retrieve them herself now (unlike before when she'd cry if it fell out of her mouth). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1915147 Fri, 24 Oct 2014 18:56:04 +0000 ScarletBegonia 1915147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaT: ugh, watching the monitor full of guilt. Been there, don't want to do it again!!</p> <p>@Apples4Teacher: I would try not to worry too much about naps - for my son, once he could fall asleep on his own and was doing well at night, naps followed on naturally. They gradually extended from only ever 45 minutes to 1.5hrs + over about a month. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1914462 Fri, 24 Oct 2014 10:18:41 +0000 smores 1914462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaT: thank you for sharing your success story! Did he have a good napping schedule during the day? I've been reading that that is important to have to lay the groundwork of sleep training but try as I might my LO fights naps like it is his job!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1914106 Fri, 24 Oct 2014 06:19:39 +0000 MamaT 1914106@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We started sleep training by 12 weeks. By this time he was on a eat every three hour schedule and had a long stretch after we put him down for the night. We started his bedtime routine (bath, swaddle, feed) at 6:45pm and he would sleep until 2:00ish. At first we did CIO with checks but like others have said it would make him so mad so I would just watch the monitor (feeling bad) but every night it became easier and easier. I would say it took probably a week until we were in a good spot. Even now at 4 months he will cry the minute I lay him down but as soon as I shut his door the crying immediately stops and he goes to sleep. It's hard at first but I think it's totally necessary! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1914047 Fri, 24 Oct 2014 02:34:53 +0000 smores 1914047@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ScarletBegonia and @Mamasig: thank you! It helps to hear other success stories and timelines! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1913800 Thu, 23 Oct 2014 21:00:51 +0000 ScarletBegonia 1913800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We gently sleep trained at 3.5 months and it worked kind of well, but then we had teeth, illness, a trip across 12 time zones all between 4.5 and 5.5 months. So we were back to swaddling, feeding to sleep, rocking, etc, until we couldn't take it any more. When we re-trained at 5.5 months, it was like night and day from the earlier time. We did full on extinction with naps and bedtime all at once, and took away the swaddle, and he never cried more than about 10 minutes (and even that was on and off). I think at a certain point babies become ready to soothe themselves to sleep. For us, my son would start to squirm and fight if we rocked him, and would settle right down if we laid him down in the crib. Sometimes he would cry a bit and throw himself around, but he always fell asleep after a minimal amount of fuss. </p> <p>I also think that the point at which they are ready is totally different for every baby. Maybe the average is around 6 months but some babies can cope really early (sounds like @Skadi: baby did) and some aren't ready for years!! Probably a personality thing, much like adults - some need the perfect conditions to fall asleep whereas some can have 2 double espressos and fall asleep in a chair.</p> <p>Good luck! I found that checks didn't work for us - it would wind him right back up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1913774 Thu, 23 Oct 2014 20:47:48 +0000 Vegmama 1913774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Apples4Teacher: I'm a first time mama too. I have chronic low milk supply due to genetics, so I've felt like I'm failing since the beginning. It took a lot of encouragement from other mamas for me to be gentle with myself and realize we are all doing the best we can. You're doing great!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1913770 Thu, 23 Oct 2014 20:46:35 +0000 Vegmama 1913770@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Skadi: Seriously! I feel like sleep training ends up helping them so much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1913648 Thu, 23 Oct 2014 19:51:54 +0000 Mamasig 1913648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't sleep trained but I can say that I think it totally depends on your baby whether or not they can self soothe at that age. With my first, the answer would have been a big no. He still really can't at 2! But DS2 was good at it from the beginning!</p> <p>And I understand when you say that feel like you are failing. I often felt that way, but it does get better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1913621 Thu, 23 Oct 2014 19:39:19 +0000 Skadi 1913621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Apples4Teacher: We planned on doing checks every few minutes, but we quickly realized that it just escalated her crying and interfered with her winding down process. So we just waited it out, doing CIO at bedtime for three nights. The first night she cried off and on almost two hours, 1.5 the next, 10 minutes the next. After that, she consistently went to sleep with minimal fussing in 15 minutes or less. She's 9 months now. She fought sleep a little at the 4 month regression--we didn't have to retrain but she took longer than usual to nod off. And of course, when she's sick like she is now she needs more comfort and sleeps restlessly. But otherwise, it's been great. We used to have to rock her to sleep and tiptoe in to lay her down, but since CIO we lay her down awake every time. </p> <p>I will say that we always fed her on a schedule and that helped somewhat because I knew when she would need to eat. But even if you don't, as long as you make sure she has a really good feed before bed, that might help in getting long stretches of sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1913509 Thu, 23 Oct 2014 18:37:33 +0000 smores 1913509@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Skadi: that's great! What method did you chose? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1913487 Thu, 23 Oct 2014 18:16:11 +0000 Skadi 1913487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The "they can't self-soothe at that point" is a pretty common refrain, but I haven't seen it substantiated. I know that we sleep trained our baby at 11 weeks and she did great. I almost feel like if she could talk, she would have said, "Whew, this is so much better!"</p> <p>I think having her hands free did help, so she could suck on her fingers. We offered the pacifier, but she would often spit it out during the night, so she transitioned to her fingers instead of having to cry for us to put it back in (thank goodness). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1913465 Thu, 23 Oct 2014 18:02:10 +0000 smores 1913465@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Vegmama: thank you for your thoughts! Our only routine now is swaddle, nurse and rock as he starts to get fussy if he's not fed right away. (He also hates baths and those tend to be super traumatic for him so I'm starting to think we should do those at any time other then bedtime-but that's another post for another day!) </p> <p>I have worn him before-sometimes he stays awake for hours while worn, sometimes he falls asleep- he is still such a mystery to me! </p> <p>I was feeding him on demand but that was leading to nursing every 1.5 hours and every time he woke at night regardless of the time frame (as I can not distinguish his different cries) which then lead to massive spit-up and reflux symptoms and gas problems...) </p> <p>Basically I am a FTM feeling like a failure in every mothering aspect! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1913391 Thu, 23 Oct 2014 17:12:36 +0000 Vegmama 1913391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel you. I know it's hard. And yeah, 4 months is when they hit a big regression ... if you haven't sleep trained before that point, you won't really be too affected. That's why we waited. It's likely that you're the only one that'll be sleep deprived. Night training is more essential first, then naps. Since you're still home, have you tried wearing him in a wrap during the day? He'll likely snooze away, and maybe you can get some peace of mind knowing he's resting?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1913383 Thu, 23 Oct 2014 17:05:26 +0000 smores 1913383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for all your suggestions! I am very leary about sleep training this young but I know it's not healthy for him to be sleep deprived either! He wasn't consistently napping until recently and sometimes that is after two hours of rocking as he won't nurse to nap any more. I go back to work in a few weeks so I'm very nervous. I was reading Bed-timing and they did say a good time to train would be 2.5-4 months but then 4-5.5 is not a good time. I just don't know how many hour wake-ups we/I can do anymore! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1913324 Thu, 23 Oct 2014 16:23:55 +0000 Kemma 1913324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Vegmama: I like your advice! </p> <p>OP - if you're nursing then it's quite normal for your LO to continue to need up to three night feeds until they're almost a year old, breastmilk is digested really quickly and babies do so much growing in the first twelve months! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1913320 Thu, 23 Oct 2014 16:20:39 +0000 Kemma 1913320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My only advice is that thirteen weeks is still young to be self-soothing (lots of babies don't develop the ability till much later) but if nursing and rocking to sleep is no longer working there's no harm starting to move away from it.</p> <p>Something you could try is keeping a journal of your LO's eating and sleeping for a week or so, that would probably help you work out how the night feeds might work going forward. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1913318 Thu, 23 Oct 2014 16:18:35 +0000 Vegmama 1913318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What is your bedtime ritual? Having a consistent ritual is important. Something like 15 minutes for naps, 30 minutes for night time (bottle, bath, jammies, books).</p> <p>We found that an accompanied sleep training worked for our baby, who was previously dependent on bottles and being rocked to sleep. We weren't comfortable letting her go through it alone. She needed us. I don't really think you can call it "gentle" if you aren't in there with him. Even with checks, it could still be a bit traumatic if he's left to cry. I don't believe in CIO, and other's will likely have a different opinion/experience. </p> <p>So, for us, the first few nights were hard, but by 1 week, we were good. We sat in there with her. Ssshhhed her, patted her back, and comforted her until she fell asleep. Most of the time, I could tell she was tired, but she would fuss and wake back up. I kept a book in there for me, and would read for about 10-15 minutes until she fell asleep. I wasn't distracting her, and I was getting some quiet time. So yeah, by 1 week, we were good. On night 4 or 5, she did a little regression, but that's normal. </p> <p>For us, we wanted to wait until she was out of the swaddle, as that's a bit of a challenge within itself. We transitioned to a Zippadee Zip around 5 months, and started sleep training at 6 months. You could do the Zippadee zip now, and once he can roll, it won't be a safety issue. 13 weeks seems so young, as they don't have the skills they need to self-soothe yet.</p> <p>Our baby hasn't eaten at night (regularly) since she was 8 weeks, I think, so I'm not sure about that one. I do know that she will need to eat randomly if she's teething or not feeling good. We will do a mini routine after she eats to get her back down. </p> <p>Whatever you choose, just follow what feels right for you. Sleep training was the best thing we ever did. I was starting to feel like a swamp creature, and really needed sleep. It's amazing how fast they learn! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-sleep-training-question-2#post-1913285 Thu, 23 Oct 2014 16:01:56 +0000 smores 1913285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Talk to me about sleep training. My son will be 13 weeks tomorrow and his sleep has deteriorated the past month due to the fact that I believe he does not know how to self-soothe. I am a FTM and got into the habit of nursing or rocking him to sleep-oops! We are considering a gentle CIO method with checks; a modified version of the 12 hours a Night at 12 Weeks plan.</p> <p>I have a couple questions: to learn how to self soothe does he need access to his hands? We currently swaddle him. He also gets a pacifier (usually his first stretch of sleep is without) should we wean him off of that too? </p> <p>I know he'll still need to eat a few times through out the night. How will he know that this time I pick him up while crying is different bc he needs to eat?</p> <p>Thanks in advance for any advice!! </p>