https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 17 Apr 2026 13:21:08 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-toddler-sleep-post-1#post-2777601 Wed, 04 Oct 2017 13:47:51 +0000 LulaBee 2777601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: that's a good idea. I've been having her say goodnight to mama milk but clearly that hasn't worked. Which is all on me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-toddler-sleep-post-1#post-2777580 Wed, 04 Oct 2017 13:08:39 +0000 gingerbebe 2777580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LulaBee: I hear ya. With the milk, before taking the cup away, I would say something like "okay, do you want any more?" If she says no, I would say "okay, that's it! No more milk after this, okay?" Make her respond to you to affirm that she heard you so that when she whines about it later, you can remind her "we don't drink milk at night, its night night time." Over time, she will realize the cut off is a hard cut off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-toddler-sleep-post-1#post-2777572 Wed, 04 Oct 2017 12:59:38 +0000 LulaBee 2777572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: Thanks for all of this. I guess this is probably what we will end up doing, modified checks. Even with a monitor I worry too much to not go in there at all. Less than a week seems doable, I just worry it's going to end up taking a month of her screaming hysterically every night.</p> <p>@gingerbebe: This is all really good advice. We will start tonight cutting out bottles- which is a huge crutch for her- and give her a snack before bed. I don't know if I'm ready to wean (I think about it a lot but she's my last baby), but I agree with cutting out the nursing to sleep association. I also like the idea of moving her recliner to another room. We could nurse/read in there then go to her room for bed. And I agree 100%- she NEEDS sleep for her brain and body. And I need it too. For my sanity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-toddler-sleep-post-1#post-2777570 Wed, 04 Oct 2017 12:57:46 +0000 mrskansas 2777570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally agree with @gingerbebe: ! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-toddler-sleep-post-1#post-2777568 Wed, 04 Oct 2017 12:54:35 +0000 SweetiePie 2777568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: Everything I was going to say and more. Glad you beat me to it so I didn’t have to type it. 😂 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-toddler-sleep-post-1#post-2777553 Wed, 04 Oct 2017 12:30:25 +0000 gingerbebe 2777553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Given that she takes a healthy nap at school, between the overnight wakings, she's at like 10-11 hours of sleep a day. I think at 22 months, you're shooting for more like 13 hours of sleep overall in a 24 hour period, give or take. </p> <p>She's probably sleeping well at school because she's been up 7-8 hours by the time her first nap happens. She genuinely needs the sleep, but because she's used to being absolutely exhausted by the time she goes down, she perhaps carries that habit to bedtime. </p> <p>Furthermore, she CAN sleep without intervention at school, she just chooses not to at home because she knows she can have milk or nursing or cuddles or whatever. </p> <p>Obviously, we cannot keep her awake until 11pm to get her totally zonked out, but if I were in your shoes, here's what I would do (and again, this is just me, so it may not work perfectly for you):</p> <p>- Honestly, I would wean. Its not necessary nutritionally and its created a situation where she's using it to keep both of you up at night. Sure, lots of tots extended nurse and its wonderful and doesn't affect sleep, but for YOU and YOUR child, it doesn't really seem to be the case.</p> <p>- I would cut bottles completely. If she wanted milk, I would offer a cup of milk, before bedtime, that's it. I would perhaps replace the bottle with a new positive ritual, like eating a healthy snack with Daddy on his lap. I'd choose something that will stick with her overnight in the off chance its a blood sugar or hunger issue, and do PB toast or cheese and crackers or Greek yogurt. Once we brush teeth, its water only. I think this will also help you and DH stay strong overnight about nursing/milk because you know its not hunger. If you are fearful of thirst, both my kids sleep with a water bottle.</p> <p>- I'd repeat the schedule of events constantly during the evening. "Okay, its time for jammies, then snack with Daddy yay!, then brushing our teeth, books, and then night night!" "Its time for snack with Daddy, yay!, then brush our teeth, books, and night night." "Its time to brush teeth, and then books, and night night!" "Let's read books and go night night!"</p> <p>- I would definitely sleeptrain overnight. It will be hard, there will be lots of yelling from a 22 month old, but I don't think there's any other way at this age. I'd put her to bed, say its time for night night, we love you, see you tomorrow!" And then close the door and leave. If your oldest has to sleep with you for a while, so be it. Personally I'd give the oldest a cot or something so she sleeps separately to give yourself good sleep in your own bed. If the tot freaks out overnight and wont settle, I'd go and verbally tell her its night night time, hold her while standing up for a minute or two, lay her back down, and leave. </p> <p>- I'd get rid of the recliner. Or at least get it out of the room. Then you don't have a place to sit with her or sleep with her overnight - its just not an option anymore. "Chair went bye bye!"</p> <p>- I would not put her in a toddler bed - it will make things worse. I'd also repeat "Mommy and daddy sleep in mommy and daddy's bed, sissy sleeps in sissy's bed, and you sleep in your bed! Everyone sleeps in their own bed!" Repeat mantra for why its time to sleep. This did wonders for my eldest when I would go to tuck him back in after a MOTN wake up. He would want to know why I couldn't stay, and I would say "Because its night night time. Everyone is sleeping. Daddy is sleeping, baby is sleeping, everyone is sleeping." </p> <p>- I would make a concerted effort to do a lot of snuggling before bed. I realize that's hard while working and daycare pick ups and what not, but right after dinner perhaps really try to engage your kids in some couch time with Daddy, tickle fights, etc. My kids are extra cuddly after bath, so we do a fair amount of snuggling then. We also do books on couches or laps and its how they get their snuggle on. That way we can replace the overnight cuddles with daytime cuddles and you wont feel so bad about "depriving" her of overnight snugs.</p> <p>- I think a 730 or 8pm bedtime is perfectly fine if she's getting up at 3pm from nap. While I realize you start your routine early, it doesn't seem like she goes to sleep until then anyway. And even though YOU want to go to sleep at 9-930pm, that doesn't seem like it really helps either, since she gets up soon thereafter. So I'd just embrace the 730-8pm bedtime with the hope that she goes down quickly, drops some overnight wakings, and perhaps sleeps in a little more. If she can sleep from 8pm-6am, then nap from 12-3pm, she's getting her 13 hours.</p> <p>Sleeptraining a toddler is HARD, but I think it will be worth it. Your kid needs the right overall hours for sleep, but she also needs the brain growing and health restoration that UNBROKEN sleep gives her. For her brain development, nothing beats good, solid sleep. If she gets sick, good solid sleep. If she's going through a growth spurt, good solid sleep. Nevermind the benefits to YOU of getting a solid night's rest. </p> <p>So, yeah, just my 2 cents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-toddler-sleep-post-1#post-2777550 Wed, 04 Oct 2017 12:26:58 +0000 MrsADS 2777550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree w/others - my son was a nightmare sleeper until we did Ferber sleep training at 17 months (which I know is a bit younger than your LO but kind of similar). He also had to be nursed/rocked to sleep and woke up ALL night, wouldn't go back to sleep, woke up crazy early, etc.</p> <p>Basically, he had to learn how to put himself to sleep. And once he did, he STTN. I mean, he never wakes up unless he is really sick. I was really anti-CIO but our lives were majorly affected, I almost quit my job bc I was so tired I was almost getting in wrecks every day commuting, so we had to.</p> <p>DEFINITELY keep your LO in the crib. We instituted a very ritualized bedtime to give him "sleep cues" and also started it early enough so he was not overtired (for us, that's like 6:30-7pm). I did nurse him in his room in the rocker, but then I put him in his crib while he was awake. He of course screamed and was hysterical. We also talked to him a lot of about what we were doing, that we were going to come back to check on him in (x) minutes (and we did).</p> <p>We did the typical checks - I think the first few nights we did checks every 3 minutes for a while, then 5 minutes, then 7 minutes. Some of the ferber stuff has letting them cry longer w/o checks but we didn't really have to do that (and I wasn't comfortable with it). It was pretty painful - I cried my eyes out the whole time. Actually I went downstairs and washed dishes with headphones in and made my husband do it. </p> <p>But I would say less than a week, he went to sleep with minimal crying (less than 3 minutes) and started STTN. </p> <p>Now he doesn't cry at all at bedtime unless he is overtired or he's having some kind of transition (when he changed daycare classrooms, he cried at bedtime for about 2 weeks). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-toddler-sleep-post-1#post-2777540 Wed, 04 Oct 2017 11:55:39 +0000 LulaBee 2777540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: I'm glad you all said that re: toddler bed as I didn't WANT to put her in one yet!! Plus the thought of my little trouble maker where she could access the house all night gives me nightmares. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-toddler-sleep-post-1#post-2777538 Wed, 04 Oct 2017 11:54:49 +0000 LulaBee 2777538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jape14: She nurses to sleep/takes a bottle to sleep at bedtime (it honestly depends on her mood, she will ask for bottle milk or mama milk). She actually goes to sleep between 7:30 - 8:30. She has 4 stuffed animals and a blanket in her crib, and insists on having them in the chair with my husband when he's giving her a bottle and wants them in her crib, but I don't think they HELP her sleep at all. </p> <p>Yes, my older daughter could sleep in our bed for sure. She usually falls asleep in there anyways. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-toddler-sleep-post-1#post-2777536 Wed, 04 Oct 2017 11:54:14 +0000 SweetiePie 2777536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jape14: agree with everything you said.</p> <p>I think a toddler bed will make your situation exceptionally worse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-toddler-sleep-post-1#post-2777533 Wed, 04 Oct 2017 11:51:24 +0000 jape14 2777533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A few questions: when is she going to bed? Is she actually nursing to sleep at bedtime, or just in the MOTN? Does she have loveys or other comfort items that she likes?</p> <p>I would get rid of the bottles/nursing in the MOTN and definitely the bottles at bedtime and see where that gets you. If she is nursing to sleep I would move that earlier in the bedtime routine to break the eat-sleep association. </p> <p>If it winds up that you need to CIO, could your older daughter sleep somewhere else for a few nights (your room?) if you're worried about her waking up? We have Ferbered/used CIO two separate times with my DS (at 4mo and then more recently after the big boy bed/big brother transition around 2y9m) and for us, it has always resulted in less crying and fewer sleep disturbances than any other method. </p> <p>22 months seems pretty early to need a toddler bed or that a nap until 3pm would be interfering with nighttime sleep (unless bedtime is super early like 6-6:30pm). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-toddler-sleep-post-1#post-2777527 Wed, 04 Oct 2017 11:45:08 +0000 LulaBee 2777527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We start the bedtime process at 6:30 or 7, she doesn't fall asleep until 8 or after.</p> <p>I wake for the day at 5:30, and she typically sleeps until then but some days wakes at 4:45/5. Rarely will she sleep until 6. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-toddler-sleep-post-1#post-2777514 Wed, 04 Oct 2017 11:18:21 +0000 gingerbebe 2777514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you post her daily schedule/routine? What time does she go to bed and what time does she get up in the morning? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/another-toddler-sleep-post-1#post-2777390 Wed, 04 Oct 2017 08:23:06 +0000 LulaBee 2777390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wonder how many sleep posts I've posted on here through the years....</p> <p>Anyways. My 22 month old doesn't sleep well. We have same bedtime routine, around the same time every night. But it takes FOREVER and involves nursing and bottles multiple times. Sometimes she starts her wake-ups around 10:30, I usually go in and nurse her. It's kind of a crap shoot if she will fall back asleep. Sometimes my husband ends up going in there with a bottle (she will ask for bottle milk). Usually we both end up sleeping in the recliner with her in her room for some time. Then lately she's ended up in our bed (nursing) which would be fine if she would sleep, but she's kicking me and singing Old McDonald and asking for a bottle. She shares a room with her sister, so I don't want to CIO necessarily. It's so hard when they can communicate and ask for you by name.</p> <p>She had her first sleepover at her grandparents house this past weekend and slept through the night (woke once at 1:30, cried out and went back to sleep). My dad said the trick is to keep her up until 8 and feed her sherbet before bed (um, nope). I can't keep her up until 8 (nor do I want to as I go to bed at 9/9:30 and need some space).</p> <p>She naps fine at daycare and puts herself to sleep on a cot. But they nap until 3 which I think is too late. I've asked her teacher to wake her up a little early but I don't think that's something she can really do every day.</p> <p>Do you think it's time to move to a big girl bed? Let her CIO at bedtime? HALP. I haven't slept in 5 years. </p>