https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 16 Apr 2026 18:42:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2512447 Fri, 01 Apr 2016 07:05:11 +0000 whiskers 2512447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PinkElephant: that's exactly how I think of it. I need my kids to be at similar life stages throughout life, even if the first few years are really tough. It'll sobe worth it long term. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2511693 Thu, 31 Mar 2016 13:37:17 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2511693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PinkElephant: Yes! Thats why we are having a third. The thought of looking down the road to see the kids later on! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2511689 Thu, 31 Mar 2016 13:35:12 +0000 PinkElephant 2511689@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also, just in general, I think I may have said this on another thread...but really my thinking is that I'm doing what I need to to build the family I want in 10 years. Thinking about getting through the first year or so with a preschooler, toddler, and infant kind of makes my head want to explode, but I'm SO EXCITED to think about what it will be like when they're, say 3, 5, and 7.....or in their 20's. We're going to have so much fun at holidays, and on trips, and celebrating family milestones. That's what I wish people would see, rather than the chaos of the early years. Professionally, we work ourselves to the limit in the early years to achieve our career aspirations/wind up doing something we love - raising a family is pretty much the same thing, though I guess it's more taboo to admit it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2511683 Thu, 31 Mar 2016 13:30:16 +0000 PinkElephant 2511683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks, everyone, for all the support and feedback! :) I know you all are right - everyone always has an opinion about EVERYTHING.</p> <p>@Foodnerd81: Hahaha of course. You know if this isn't a boy, people will be asking us when we're going to start trying for a boy, like, in the delivery room! :) Seriously, everyone just wants to know if we'll do another gender reveal, since the cake shop botched the last one (forgot to dye the icing!!!!!).</p> <p>@snowjewelz: Seriously, why must everyone have verbal diarrhea about our personal lives?! So many comments! I don't even think your situation is uncommon - I'd have been tempted to respond with something very TMI about all the sex we'd been having as newlyweds, hehehe.</p> <p>@whiskers: That's a really good point about making a big deal of announcements so people know we're excited, not going "oops!" and trying to hide it.</p> <p>@catomd00: The age difference isn't a big deal, it's just not quite so common in NYC for people to have three kids, particularly all with the same set of parents, all close together...at least in my social circles. People usually head to the suburbs if they're going to take the plunge, and there have recently been some really scathing articles about people doing it as a status symbol just to prove they can afford it (which is such a stupid premise for an article, because I doubt it's true for almost anyone!)</p> <p>@autumnlove: Haha, yes, this. We have a number of friends who have made it very clear that while they enjoy our children on a limited basis, they want none of their own, whatsoever. I'm quite certain they'll be like "Great, you decided to cover for us, too. Thanks!" </p> <p>@mrsrain: When someone asked me how I even found time to get pregnant in the first place, I made a snarky comment about my kids being great sleepers! :)</p> <p>@winniebee: Those are our age differences, too, but in the opposite order (22 months for DD1 and DD2; 2.5 years this time). Curious to see if we both stick to the sexes we currently have, or get the opposite! :)</p> <p>@iheartleopardprint: That's awesome that you and your SO are growing your family together, and anyone that would have anything negative to say about it is just heartless! Congrats!</p> <p>@Crisark: The benefit of your situation was with the older two in school, it's almost like you get the chance to do the first baby thing all over again! I'm sure you had plenty of peanut gallery weighing in, though - grr! :)</p> <p>@Aandmklover: Congrats to you, too! DH and are both genuinely thrilled with whatever sex this baby is. He currently thinks girl and I think boy, and I keep flip flopping over which I'd actually want if I could choose! I don't think we'll know til my anatomy scan. I'm under 35 and have had healthy babies, so it's looking like they won't do any of the NIPT or Maternity21 testing I thought I might get in the next few weeks. </p> <p>@2littlepumpkins: Totally true - it's really not a tight age gap with #2 and #3 - quite honestly, if it'd been much larger, I would have wanted to wait a bit longer (like 4-5 years), then have two more really close together for a total of four.</p> <p>@T.H.O.U.: Very true. I don't think we'll announce in the sense of Facebook/distant friends for some time, but I will tell people close to us who we see a lot. </p> <p>@oliviaoblivia: @FaithFertility: Please. Parenting any number of kiddos naturally involves some level of delusion :) :) :) </p> <p>@oliviaoblivia: Glad you had mostly positive reactions and are rockin' the three kids thing! While I know they must be coming from a tough place, I'm sorry your friends/relatives coping with IF made you feel like you're doing something wrong - life's not a zero sum game, and your third baby didn't "take away" theirs. Right now, believe it or not, ALL of our friends are either openly finished having kids (or say they're not ready to try again), pregnant, or are about to get married/just married within the past month and are waiting to try. I actually wanted to let that last group know early on to kind of put it out there before it's possible I'd be "stealing their thunder" by announcing at the same time/just before they were ready to, if that makes sense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2511543 Thu, 31 Mar 2016 12:14:34 +0000 Crisark 2511543@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First, CONGRATS! </p> <p>Second, I can relate similarly, when I got remarried my DH and I decided we wanted a child between the two of us as I'd already brought two into the relationship.<br /> At the time we were thinking of trying my older daughters were 10 and 6. I can't tell you how many times family members made comments about 'starting over' 'you have it good now why change it' who wants to start again after 6 years' on and on and on. And it bothered me for a while but then I said Eff it and just got excited. It'll take time but try to ignore those comments and be excited for your new baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2511010 Thu, 31 Mar 2016 02:47:25 +0000 iheartleopardprint 2511010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congrats!</p> <p>I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old from a previous marriage, and FI and I are having my third/ his first. </p> <p>I always assumed I was done at two, and FI didn't want his own/ more kids but after we were engaged we did a massive 360! We decided to TTC, and openly spoke about it to our families. No one was surprised we changed our mind and everyone was really supportive and happy for us when we announced baby number 3. (Even though this is his first, he sees my children as his so we call it baby 3) </p> <p>The only comments I've had are from strangers that comment that 3 is a lot, or some other silly thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2510997 Thu, 31 Mar 2016 00:21:38 +0000 mrsrain 2510997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No advice other than just own it! Most people will reflect your emotions, so if you are clearly excited and happy they will be, too! Maybe come up with something clever to say in response to the surprised comments? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2510715 Wed, 30 Mar 2016 16:10:40 +0000 autumnlove 2510715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congrats! Our families were excited but we got some shocked comments from some close friends who would kill themselves if they had 3 kids. :-p </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2510712 Wed, 30 Mar 2016 16:07:02 +0000 Raindrop 2510712@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congrats!! Don't worry about haters. Haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2510708 Wed, 30 Mar 2016 16:04:39 +0000 snowjewelz 2510708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You do you!!! Seriously, people will still think/say what they want no matter what. Oh you're only having one? Oh you have 2 have the same sex? Must try for 3rd! Oh you have one of each? You must be done! Oh they are so close together! Oh they are so far apart!! You get the idea.... Haha! </p> <p>I mean, we got pregnant before our 1st wedding anniversary.. People were like wow.. So soon?! I was like... Thanks?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2510704 Wed, 30 Mar 2016 16:00:17 +0000 whiskers 2510704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think no matter what choices you make, someone will think/say something negative. We are on #3 and so far it's been pretty positive responses from he people we have told. We will have a 25 month and 21 month gap. I never announced my first 2 formally, but plan to this time because I want people to know we are excited. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2510688 Wed, 30 Mar 2016 15:35:12 +0000 winniebee 2510688@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congrats!!</p> <p>I'm right there with you. We haven't told MIL yet because I'm a little worried that she will be like "oh. wow. really?" Our first two were 2.5 years apart and #2 and #3 will be 22 months.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2510685 Wed, 30 Mar 2016 15:27:52 +0000 catomd00 2510685@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well there's no reason you HaVe to make any sort of formal announcement and open yourself up to comments. We really only told our parents and siblings and a few close friends about this pregnancy and let the word spread or let people find out as they saw me. I don't think there's any reason to feel like you have to defend your choices, just let it go in one ear and out the other. No one else's opinion matters or needs to impact you unless you let it. Maybe it varies by social circle, but having kids 2 years apart is pretty typical around me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2510665 Wed, 30 Mar 2016 15:03:50 +0000 Aandmklover 2510665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congratulations!!! </p> <p>I'm expecting our third in July. My first 2 are boys 22 months apart and my second and third will be 24 months apart. We waited to tell anyone until we knew what the sex was of this baby. (Found out sex at 13 weeks) There was a lot of pressure for our third to be a girl and I knew I would have a hard time with comments about that. We wanted a third child not to "try to have a girl" as people say. We are going to have our third boy and I am beyond excited to have these guys together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2510640 Wed, 30 Mar 2016 14:38:59 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2510640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FaithFertility: or just plain delusional. :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2510637 Wed, 30 Mar 2016 14:36:35 +0000 FaithFertility 2510637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oliviaoblivia: You're always so upbeat and postihve :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2510625 Wed, 30 Mar 2016 14:27:17 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2510625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My friend sent me a thing about feelings of a third time mom and one of those is just the general delay in announcing. I think after going down this road again, I know how the weeks can drag by and there really isn't much to plan or prepare for. So waiting to announce is not a bad thing if you aren't excited to yet. </p> <p>I do think about the comments you just have to be very firm, "We are so excited about Baby #3". Trying to make it clear this was planned! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2510612 Wed, 30 Mar 2016 14:19:53 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2510612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congrats!! :) </p> <p>I think as moms we do just need to have thick skin sometimes. But that said just because people make those comments doesn't necessarily mean they're judging you negatively! They might just be thinking "wow, I couldn't handle that!" Or something along those lines. I just had to click over to your profile but your youngest is now 22m? I mean it's not like she's 3m (not that it'd matter but as far as judgement goes..) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2510610 Wed, 30 Mar 2016 14:18:54 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2510610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My family was OK with my third announcement. Some surprise, some ruder comments from those that had had IF. Eventually everyone came around. My in-laws were mostly fine. Some comments about how "don't you know how to avoid this yet?" But overall they were happy.<br /> My third was a surprise and is only 12.5 months behind my second. Everyone knew we wanted another though so that wasn't the surprising part.<br /> Congratulations, three is really awesome! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2510606 Wed, 30 Mar 2016 14:16:55 +0000 Foodnerd81 2510606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My girls are 2.5 years apart and I still get plenty of comments about having my hands full. And it's true, I do- I think that's true with any age gap (unless maybe the older one is in college??) </p> <p>I'd be more concerned about comments that you must have been trying for a boy since you have two girls already. Because that is the primary reason for a third child, right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2510599 Wed, 30 Mar 2016 14:14:09 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2510599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congratulations :grin: </p> <p>Just know for those that mean something to you, friends &amp; family, the announcement stage doesn't last forever. They may be in shock, but you're in love and that's more powerful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anxious-about-reactions-to-announcing-baby-3#post-2510587 Wed, 30 Mar 2016 14:09:28 +0000 PinkElephant 2510587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm expecting my third baby, and after a great OB appointment yesterday, DH is ready basically ready to shout it from the rooftops. I love that he is so excited (and I am, too),<br /> but I'm feeling apprehensive about sharing our good news, which I think is going to come as a surprise to a lot of friends and family who assumed we were done at two. The family members we've told so far have been supportive, although pretty surprised!</p> <p>Just this week I've had a lot of strangers comment on my two girls (who are 22 months apart, but look closer in age, I guess) to the effect of "Wow, you must be busy!", "God bless you!", etc., etc.....The nurse at my doctor's office was actually teasing me (in a positive way, but still) about how I'd managed to get pregnant again with a preschooler and a toddler in the house. This is making me super nervous about telling people that, actually we're adding to our chaos by having a third baby in the fall, and YES, it was planned, and YES, we're happy about it! I'm feeling anxious not only about actually telling people, but about all the unsolicited advice and side comments I'm bound to get once I start showing and I'm out with both girls. I hate feeling like I'm going to have to defend our family choices to people!</p> <p>Advice, reassurance, or your own horror stories all welcome! </p>