https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 17:29:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-advice-on-not-dwelling-on-it-when-the-negative-thoughts-are-overwhelming#post-1121908 Mon, 30 Sep 2013 14:35:55 +0000 looch 1121908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What helps me is volunteer work, seeing others in need in some way and being able to help them is a heart healing activity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-advice-on-not-dwelling-on-it-when-the-negative-thoughts-are-overwhelming#post-1121878 Mon, 30 Sep 2013 14:24:26 +0000 Torchwood 1121878@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the replies! I'll definitely work on focusing on other hobbies and such. Unfortunately, a LOT of my hobbies are kid/baby related. I'm an admin for a crunchy moms page on FB and run the pinterest account for it, I sell baby hats, etc. Getting away from baby stuff generally means dropping huge chunks of my life. Hopefully though, I'll get a job soon, and it will provide a distraction. I've been in no rush, since I only want a job to keep me busy, not because I *need* one, but I think I'll be a bit more proactive now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-advice-on-not-dwelling-on-it-when-the-negative-thoughts-are-overwhelming#post-1121847 Mon, 30 Sep 2013 14:08:27 +0000 wahine08 1121847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>*hugs*</p> <p>I don't have any actual advice either (I'm sorry) but I do know that just letting myself feel whatever I needed to feel and having the support (from DH) really helped me get through it. </p> <p>I started focusing on other projects and things in life. Working more. It did help but I know everyone's different in how they cope. I also started cooking more, in general getting more hobbies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-advice-on-not-dwelling-on-it-when-the-negative-thoughts-are-overwhelming#post-1121832 Mon, 30 Sep 2013 14:00:37 +0000 Thenetexan 1121832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: no concrete advice, other than to say sorry and you are right for putting yourself first. I've been in similar situations twice, and honestly you can't help but think about where you should have been when they hit those pregnancy milestones and then baby milestones. Loss is hard, though everyone manages it differently. I am glad to hear you have some answers and a forward plan. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-advice-on-not-dwelling-on-it-when-the-negative-thoughts-are-overwhelming#post-1121824 Mon, 30 Sep 2013 13:59:12 +0000 LovelyPlum 1121824@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First, sending you hugs.</p> <p>Secondly, have you considered going to talk to someone? I was really reluctant to, but I needed it to feel better. Maybe this could be a resource for you? </p> <p>Also, I eventually stopped going on my Facebook. I found that it was only making me unhappy, so I stopped looking. I only go back occasionally now, too. I just don't need that kind of a negative reaction in my life.</p> <p>Hoping things turn around for you soon. Hang in there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-advice-on-not-dwelling-on-it-when-the-negative-thoughts-are-overwhelming#post-1121819 Mon, 30 Sep 2013 13:57:24 +0000 Mrs. Confetti 1121819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs to you.</p> <p>As for advice, I wish I had something that would definitely help. Right now, my thought is relieving the negative by focusing on the positive in your life, potentially outside the realm of TTC. Do you have any hobbies or projects or fun things coming up that you could look forward to? I know that when I am feeling really upset about something, getting my mind as far away from it is what helps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-advice-on-not-dwelling-on-it-when-the-negative-thoughts-are-overwhelming#post-1121796 Mon, 30 Sep 2013 13:49:52 +0000 Torchwood 1121796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As some of you may know, I've had two miscarriages. Shortly after the first, I found out my cousin was pregnant and due about two weeks after I would have been. Now, a few weeks after my second, I just found out that her brother's wife (also my cousin, obviously) is pregnant and due a couple weeks before I would have been. </p> <p>It's just so frustrating and upsetting. I hid them both from my FB newsfeed, because I know I'm not up for seeing their posts. I'm not angry or resentful of them, but I am angry and resentful at my situation. Things are actually looking good right now, in that doctors have figured out what's going on and we're in the process of formulating a game plan for going forward to prevent it happening again. But it's still hard and I can't help but feel like "seriously?! they couldn't have been due ANY OTHER TIME?!" </p> <p>I'm not really looking for support here so much as advice. In those moment when you feel frustrated and down, and want to whine about how it's not fair, what do you do to redirect your thoughts? Focusing on how grateful I am that we're going to be able to move forward soon helps a little, but not a lot. Being happy for them isn't really helpful because I mostly need things to keep me from thinking about them right now. I'll be happy for them later when I'm not feeling so sad. Right now I need to take care of me. (And thankfully I'm not terribly close to either of them, so there's no obligation to be super supportive at this time, beyond normal congratulations.) I need help not letting my thoughts fall into a rut of negative resentful thinking.</p> <p>ETA- Not sure if this is the logical place to post this, so if anyone has a suggestion for where it might make more sense, please let me know. </p>