https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 14:41:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-2nd-shift-widows-out-there#post-164565 Mon, 21 May 2012 15:46:34 +0000 Mrs. Superhero 164565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband works 6pm-6:30am Fri, Sat, Sun every week. I'm pretty used to it by now (it's been over 2 years) and I love how much I see him during the week! I just watch a lot of girly shows while I'm hanging out nursing the baby (Gilmore Girls, at the moment. I have the whole show on DVDs). We are lucky that his schedule is set though.</p> <p>The only downside is that I'm finding bedtime super tricky with a fussy baby and a cranky toddler who both want my help getting to sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-2nd-shift-widows-out-there#post-164465 Mon, 21 May 2012 14:32:31 +0000 Andrea 164465@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH doesn't work weird hours but he works a lot. I know how you feel ... he didn't take paternity leave and I cried a lot too. It is definitely lonely being by yourself with a newborn. I hope that you'll feel better once you return to work! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-2nd-shift-widows-out-there#post-164450 Mon, 21 May 2012 14:22:33 +0000 jennylynn 164450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pastemoo: thanks! E-mail me anytime also. I can always use some adult coversation. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-2nd-shift-widows-out-there#post-163870 Sun, 20 May 2012 13:12:49 +0000 heffalump 163870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am very lucky in that my husband is home by 4:30 every day from work. He was gone for a week in the hospital and it was so hard- I don't know how you ladie's do it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-2nd-shift-widows-out-there#post-163434 Sat, 19 May 2012 14:27:49 +0000 eeh 163434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: They operate under the assumption that 6.5 hours is enough to get rested. Just within the last year or so implemented something called RSIA (railroad safety improvement act) which is designed to ensure the guys don't get fatigued because it causes accidents. The idea is that if they work 5 days in a row they can choose to take off 1 day, if they work 6 days they can take 2, if they work 7 days they HAVE to take 3. It's a tricky thing though because it's based off of "starts" or when you go to work. So, if he gets a start at 12:01am and then gets called back again at 11:59pm it only counts as 1 day of work even though he'll be working into a second day. The problem with it is that those days are unpaid. That doesn't sound like a big deal because most people don't get paid for the days they don't work (weekends) but railroaders are paid on a guarantee basis. They get xyz number of dollars every 2 weeks regardless of how much they work because sometimes they'll work every day on their rest and other times they won't work for 3 or 4 days. When they are forced to take time off it deducts $250/day from that guarantee and they can punished if they take too many days off. So, let's say my husband has a vacation day scheduled for next Saturday for a wedding but then RSIA forces him to take 3 days off on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. That means he's got 4 "off" days counting against him meaning we lose $1000 AND it functionally looks like he called in sick 4 times even though he legally has to take those 3 days off and one was a vacation day.</p> <p>The railroad is a monster to work with and try to understand. All in all though, it is a great job with excellent pay and benefits. The pay and benefits are definitely earned though since we basically have no life and are tied to a cell phone at all times.</p> <p>ETA: And I definitely do worry about the toll this type of schedule takes on his body. Even if he's home sleeping it's rarely restful because he has to be listening for the phone to ring (the current ringer for when the railroad calls is "WAKE THE F UP!!!"). Not to mention the effect this type of schedule has on his eating habits. I worry he'll have a heart attack at 30 years old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-2nd-shift-widows-out-there#post-163430 Sat, 19 May 2012 14:06:04 +0000 mrbee 163430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@eeh: Gosh that sounds brutal! Plus how do they ensure safety without giving people a consistent schedule to sleep? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-2nd-shift-widows-out-there#post-163429 Sat, 19 May 2012 14:05:27 +0000 His Barista 163429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have been working 2pm to 730pm. I am home by 8 but dh works at 11p until 8am. So he goes to bed as soon as he gets home and then gets up after a few hour ti watch her while I am gone. Since he takes a nap when I get home I rarely see him, either. : ( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-2nd-shift-widows-out-there#post-163428 Sat, 19 May 2012 14:03:29 +0000 cyndistar3 163428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Right now my husband has 1 1/2 jobs one is typically for a few hours in the morning and then from 9:30 pm-6am... so when he is home he is sleeping for the most part or eating :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-2nd-shift-widows-out-there#post-163426 Sat, 19 May 2012 13:59:20 +0000 HLK208 163426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH works such random shifts. This weekend it's two 7am-7pm shifts, a day off then 4 nights 7pm-7am. It always changes and it's impossible to make plans/appointments since he finds out his schedule a week beforehand. He usually works 3-11pm twice a week too. </p> <p>He can take floaters (paid days off), sick days and random days off though, but he typically works holidays because it's double time and a half + 5 floaters. </p> <p>He'll be on a set schedule in a few years but getting a set schedule goes by seniority...some guys have been at his work for 10 years without a set schedule! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-2nd-shift-widows-out-there#post-163422 Sat, 19 May 2012 13:37:09 +0000 autumnlove 163422@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>yup! DH works a lot of 7pm-7am shifts...I hate them! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-2nd-shift-widows-out-there#post-163421 Sat, 19 May 2012 13:36:18 +0000 eeh 163421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrBee: My husband is a railroad conductor. Conductors work on call 24/7 with literally no hint of a schedule. Example: yesterday my husband was called to work at 2:45am and worked 6 hours. This morning he was called at 5:00 and is still at work now. On any given day he could work a fast 3 hour trip or end up staying the night in a hotel 3 hours away and not get called back for anywhere from 8 hours to 30 hours later. His only guaranteed time off is 8 hours starting when he clocks out but they can call in 6.5 so he reports in 8 (once he's called he has 1.5 hours to report). There's no such thing as a weekend or holiday. He does have vacation days he can use but he might have a vacation day scheduled to start at 12:00 am and if they call him at 11:59 he still has to go to work and either slide the vacation day back 24 hours or lose it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-2nd-shift-widows-out-there#post-163419 Sat, 19 May 2012 13:27:40 +0000 mrbee 163419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@eeh: What is a railroad widow? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-2nd-shift-widows-out-there#post-163418 Sat, 19 May 2012 13:21:40 +0000 eeh 163418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a railroad widow. No set hours, no days off, every day's a Monday. It's definitely a tough lifestyle that takes some getting used to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-2nd-shift-widows-out-there#post-163395 Sat, 19 May 2012 11:53:43 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 163395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband worked shifts for four years. He is finally on a straight days schedule with no weekends unless he is on call. It is really lonely and hard. We went through it without a baby so I imagine have a LO makes it way more difficult. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-2nd-shift-widows-out-there#post-163375 Sat, 19 May 2012 11:09:52 +0000 pastemoo 163375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jennylynn: My husband works a bizarre shift, too. It's 4am to 2pm. And he works really random days, so when I was working, I'd see him on his work days for under an hour (basically one of us made dinner quickly, we ate quickly, and got ready for bed immediately after), and every other weekend we could do something fun.<br /> This is part of the reason that the idea of me going back to work after baby is pretty complicated. We'll see.<br /> That's cool that the grandmas can help you with daycare. :) And if you're bored, you can e-mail me--I'll be home alone a lot, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-other-2nd-shift-widows-out-there#post-163372 Sat, 19 May 2012 11:02:45 +0000 jennylynn 163372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband works 2nd shift and is on mandatory 12 hr shifts right now. He even has to go in today! :'( I HATE it! He goes in at 4 pm, and doesn't get home until like 5 in the morning, so I hardly get to see him at all. It's really hard, especially with a new baby. I think I cried every single day our first couple of weeks home. I think it'll be better once I return to work, but right now, I get lonely a lot. It's for the best though, because we won't have to put LO in daycare once I return to work, since the grandmas will be off of work by the time he goes in. Anybody else's husband work crazy hours? </p>